Where on Earth
or
A Bucket List Before Kicking the Bucket
By Gary E Miller
rev 1
For Donna
Copyright Gary E. Miller, 2014
Cover design by Lenny Everson
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HAY-ON-WYE
Hay-on Wye, a unique town in Wales;
Many bookstores provide its avails.
It causes broad smiles
On bibliophiles,
Drawn there by its fantastic sales.
THE HELLESPONT
Lord Byron, the poet – sex symbol,
Despite a club foot was quite nimble
He swam the Hellespont
And, as was my wont,
I’ll cross – on a ship with glass brim-full.
THE NORTH POLE
I wonder if the far North Pole
Is simply a flag in a hole
Or a cairn or a stele?
Whatever, I feel
That seeing it’s not my first goal.
THE SOUTH POLE
I'm told that the South Pole is colder,
So I would have to be much bolder
To want to explore it;
For now I'll ignore it
And give both the Poles a cold shoulder.
NEW ORLEANS.-MARDI GRAS
New Orleans holds the Mardi Gras
With excessive doses of hoopla:
Marching bands, costumes, floats,
All Lent's antidotes,
And the biggest crowds you ever saw.
RIO DE JANEIRO
In Rio, in sunny Brazil,
There's a statue set high on a hill:
It's gigantic and He's
The Christ of the Andes
And it gives lucky tourists a thrill.
TIMBUCTOO
Is there anyone anywhere who
Would not gladly go to Timbuctoo?
The great fascination
Of this destination
Is where is it? I have no clue.
KATMANDU
My reason for going there? That's
Not its freedom from techie mall rats,
Nor its rare atmosphere
Nor its distance from here-–
It's simply that I'm fond of cats.
MOUNT ETNA
I'd like to see Sicily's wonder,
Mount Etna, with its mighty thunder,
But along with these crashes
It spews tons of ashes
Which I would not like to be under.
AYRES ROCK
In Australia the tourists all flock
To see the world-famous Ayres Rock.
To the natives it's holy
But to others it's solely
A place whose great beauty can shock.
VENICE
Art treasures fill it to the brim;
Connoisseurs view them seriatim;
But travelling's a menace
In historic old Venice
On streets where you don't walk, you swim.
ROME
I'd be willing to go far from home
To see the art treasures of Rome;
The Sistine's fine ceiling
Leaves all lookers reeling;
Michelangelo’s statues are awesome.
THE PRADO
Keats's "Beauty is truth" is a credo
Demonstrated in Madrid's great Prado,
Where truth and beauty mingle
Giving viewer a tingle ––
I'd go there without any ado.
NIAGARA FALLS
Viewed from the ground or a soaring tower
The Falls roars with its watery power
And sometimes I wonder
If I could stand under
What a wonderful place for a shower.
LOCH NESS
People praise in a resounding chorus
The mystery Loch Ness provides for us.
Is the monster we seek
One completely unique
Or just an old plesiosaurus?
THE GREAT PYRAMID
Its construction was an inspired notion;
For millennia stirring emotion.
In silence it stands
On the vast desert sands,
Like a beach but without any ocean.
GRAND CANYON
Everyone thinks Grand Canyon's just great
With its river forever in spate.
It's a treat for the ocular
And it makes you feel jocular,
But it took a long time to create.
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON
The town of Stratford-Upon-Avon
Is the birthplace of literature's maven,
Will Shakespeare, whose plays
Still garner great praise,
Even though he was bald and unshaven.
THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA
It's admired by historical purists
And judged tops by historical jurists;
Built to exclude all foreigners
From the earth's four corners-–
Unless they are very rich tourists.
STONEHENGE
On Salisbury plain stands Stonehenge
The mystery's the ancients' revenge:
By whom was it built?
We guess Druid? Pict? Celt?
Now what can we rhyme but lozenge?
THE TAJ MAHAL
I'd like to see the Taj Mahal,
That magnificent memorial
Emperor Shah Jahan
Built so that all can
See this his wifely love was eternal.
MEXICO CITY
It's a great ecological pity
That big and old Mexico City
Seems to have no solution
To its terrible pollution,
A fact I decry in this ditty.
THE EIFFEL TOWER
There's a structure I'm eager to see
And it stands in the heart of Paree;
With its impressive height
It is always in sight.
All agree it is awfully Eiffelly.
WESTMINSTER ABBEY
Chief among London's historic scenes
Is the Abbey, where traffic careens;
In the ancient metropolis
It's a famous necropolis
For writers, scientists, kings, and queens.
THE PANAMA CANAL
To pass through the Panama Canal
Is a trip I think would be just swell:
From Atlantic to Pacific-
It would be terrific–
And then the return trip as well.
TORONTO'S CN TOWER
Toronto boasts the CN Tower,
Everything in the city is lower,
The views leave folks agog
(Except when there's smog)
Or the height makes the timid to cower.
LONDON'S EYE-IN-THE-SKY
A slow ride on the Eye-in-the-sky
Would be perfect for one such as I:
To see historic sites
From the various heights
Would give new meaning to the word high.
THE FRENCH RIVIERA
I'd like to see the Riviera
And I'd try very hard not to stare-a
At the shapely young women
Sunbathing or swimmin'
Either topless or totally bare-a.
HAWAII
It would cost me a whole lot of moolah
To fly to Hawaii, but who'll a–
scribe one fault to me
When I'd get to see
Grass-skirted females dance the hula?
ZOOS
I would like to see all the world's zoos
With their lions, chimps, and kangaro
os,
Polar bears, crocodiles,
Elephants and reptiles-–
And then the best one I could choose.
DELHI
I'd like to see India's Delhi,
Though I might be a tense, nervous Nellie
As, jostled, I damned
The streets people-crammed.,
And its food which can upset the belly.
PAMPLONA
Towards Pamplona I feel a strong pull:
To be chased by el toro's not dull,
But my greatest delight
As I watched each bull-fight
Would be to lead cheers for the bull.
OTTAWA
Every citizen should visit Ottawa
So that he can say: "Oh, my, what a blah
City old Bytown is
With its government bus-
iness carried out with a lotta flaws.
FLORIDA
Florida's beaches each year in March break:
Where coeds come to drink and to bake,
Each in a bikini
Attractively teeny,
Making everything quiver and shake.
DEATH VALLEY
I'd be very reluctant to sally
Into that dry, dead place called Death Valley:
Cacti, buzzards, and snakes
And infernal heat makes
It a spot to avoid, naturally.
BIKINI ATOLL
I'm not sure that I m eager to stroll
Around famous Bikini Atoll:
It's not very attractive
To be radio-active
And mutated to monster or troll.
TAHITI
I'd like to sail off to Tahiti
And there meet a pretty young sweetie;
As palm-tree-trunk art:
Our names in a heart,
Genuine Polynesian graffiti.
NORWAY
I can see myself in a fjord
On a dragon-ship, wielding a sword,
But I can't be a hero
When it's well below zero
And a tee-shirt's all I can afford.
BEIJING
See Beijing;? Well, I'm glad that you ask.
I want to see folks face the task
Of clearing the air
So that no one must wear..
A cumbersome, stifling face mask.
ICELAND
I wonder if I would like Iceland.
Is it dreary and cold or a nice land?
With its snow and its ice
Would one trip suffice
Or is it a must-visit-twice land?
NEW ZEALAND
New Zealand: a country where sheep'll
Likely always outnumber the people;
Wool and mutton, you see,
Fuel the economy
And keep the land's coffers plenty full.
NOME, ALASKA
I'd like to see Alaska's Nome,
Though I wouldn't want to call it home;
Polar bears and dog teams
Are the stuff of my dreams
And inspired this brief limerick poem.
MACCHU PICCHU
Macchu Picchu, please, let me announce it-–
A special site as history counts it-–
Is a treasure that's rare
And I want to go there,
But first I must learn to pronounce it.
AUSTRALIA
Australia's a place that I wanna
Explore for its exotic fauna:
Koala, kangaroo,
Platypus, dingo too-–
It could fill the whole zoo in Trawna.
TOKYO--THE GINZA
Tokyo's Ginza may be quite tacky;
If so, you'll think I am quite wacky,
But I'd eagerly walk
Along many a block
To find some real Japanese saki.
SARGASSO SEA
What a strange sight it surely must be,
That phenomenal Sargasso Sea.
If it coats the Atlantic
Will sailors be frantic
Or just trim it like thick shrubbery?
ST. PETER'S--ROME
St. Peter's, the great church in Rome,
With its Vatican Square and huge dome,
With each day that passes
Draws believers in masses
And provides each new pope with a home.
VICTORIA FALLS
It is certainly no exaggera-
tion to say that our Falls, Niagara,
Is impressive but palls
Next to Victoria Falls,
Which is Canada's Falls on Viagra.
THE AMAZON RIVER
The long, winding Amazon River
Has creatures to make travellers shiver:
Crocodiles and big snakes
Give each viewer the shakes
And scare him right down to his liver.
MARS
I’m not sure that I would like Mars
As it wanders about in the stars.
It's a long way to go
For a place that has no
Air or water or smart disco bars.
CAMINO REAL
I'd like to walk a lengthy spell
On Spain's old Camino Real.
If I ambled the whole,
It would lighten my soul,
And be good for my waistline as well.
HOWLAND ISLAND
Howland Island is only a dot
In the endless Pacific, a spot
Which, if I got there,
Id have reached somewhere
Poor Amelia Earhart did not.
MOUNT EVEREST
I'd love to scale Mount Everest
And do so with a youthful zest,
But cold and great heights
Cause me terrible frights.
So to stay at sea level is best.
WALLA WALLA
Walla Walla is probably nice:
Lovely scenery, an absence of vice;
But there is one small trouble:
Because its name s double,
Perhaps I should visit it twice?
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