Text copyright © 1986 by Lurlene McDaniel
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McDaniel, Lurlene.
Why did she have to die? / by Lurlene McDaniel.
p. ; cm.
ISBN: 1-58196-029-8
Summary: Thirteen-year-old Elly Rowan is living in the shadow of her fourteen-year-old “perfect” sister, Kathy, the golden child in the family. Suddenly, Kathy is gone and Elly is left to find her way alone, rather than follow in Kathy’s footsteps.
1. Sisters—Juvenile fiction. 2. Teenage girls—Juvenile fiction. 3. Grief—Juvenile fiction. [1. Sisters—Fiction. 2. Teenage girls— Fiction. 3. Grief—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.M4784172 Wh 2 005
[Fic] dc22 OCLC: 55758252
Manufactured in the United States of America
1/15/11
eISBN: 978-0-7613-7388-9 (pdf)
eISBN: 978-1-4677-6885-6 (ePub)
eISBN: 978-1-4677-2784-6 (mobi)
ONE
“Elly Rowan! Your bedroom is a mess. I need you to pick all of your dirty clothes off the floor and get them to the laundry room. Right now!”
“Aw, Mom.” Elly shrugged, avoiding her mother’s angry glare. She scanned the bedroom, trying to see it as her mother did. So what if there were a few piles of clothes on the floor and a bowl of dried-out yogurt on her desk and several heaps of CDs, magazines, and papers strewn about? It hardly seemed worth getting mad about.
“Can’t I do it later? I’m supposed to meet Joy at the corner and walk to school.”
“After school, my foot! I need to do the laundry this morning. Do it now.”
“But I’ll be late!”
“You should have thought of that before you let your dirty clothes lay around this long.” Mrs. Rowan turned and let out an angry sigh as she left the room. Elly knew what she was thinking. Her sister Kathy wouldn’t have waited until the last minute to get her laundry together. And her room never looked like a disaster area. Kathy was neat as a pin.
Elly had heard the comparison between her and her fourteen-year-old sister for nearly thirteen years. Only fifteen months separated them, but it might just as well have been fifteen years for as much as they were alike. Kathy Rowan. Miss Perfect. Miss Popularity. Miss Everything-You’re-Not, Elly.
Elly threw herself across her bed, heaving a sigh and thinking dark thoughts. It made her mad that so much had come to her sister naturally—beauty, brains, and personality. But it really wasn’t Kathy’s fault she was perfect. People couldn’t help what life gave them.
Elly surveyed her room. “Maybe it is in pretty bad shape,” she mused aloud. A soft knock on her door made her leap off her bed. She began scrambling over the floor, picking up clothes.
“Is the explosion over?” The question came from Kathy. She peeked into the room. A cascade of dark hair fell to one side as she tipped her head around the doorframe.
Elly nodded, her hands on her hips.
Kathy edged into the room, letting out a low whistle. “Goodness, Elly. It looks like there was a war in here.”
“I know all about it!” Elly snapped. She didn’t need anyone else to say anything about her cleaning habits. Especially Kathy. Elly gathered a stack of CDs and grumbled, “I’m going to be late for first period. Mrs. Wenzel said she’d have my head if I was late one more time.”
“Well, let me help here.” Kathy grabbed a handful of dirty socks.
“I don’t need your help!”
Startled, Kathy hugged a pile of clothes to her chest. “Excuse me for living!”
Immediately, Elly felt sorry she had snapped at Kathy. Kathy couldn’t help being favored. It was just the way things were. Elly’s hazel eyes locked in on Kathy’s sapphire blue ones. “Sorry,” Elly mumbled. “I—I really would like some help.”
Kathy sniffed, glared, and then resumed picking things up. “Hey, this is my sweater! I thought I’d lost it. It was in your room all this time?”
Guilt grabbed at Elly. Borrowing things without permission was not allowed. It was an unwritten rule between them. Just because they were sisters didn’t mean one could use the other’s property whenever she felt like it. The girls were so close in age, height, and weight, and only a year apart in school, that it would have been easy to use each other’s wardrobes, makeup, and belongings. But Elly had never cared for Kathy’s preppy clothes and all-American tastes. She did, however, love the fuzzy blue sweater. Because Kathy was asked to babysit twice as much as Elly, the older sister always had more money for clothes and CDs.
“Sorry,” Elly apologized.
“Just don’t do it again,” Kathy warned. They worked in silence for a few more minutes. “You coming to the decoration committee meeting this afternoon?”
Elly started. “Is it this afternoon?”
“Elly! You’re not serious! You know I’m the chairman. Only ninth graders are supposed to serve on the committee. I pulled special strings to get you on it in the first place. Don’t tell me you’re going to miss the very first meeting!”
Elly felt like snapping, I never wanted to be on the stupid Spring Dance decorations committee. You didn’t do me any favors. Instead, she said, “No . . . no. Of course I didn’t forget. I’ll be there.” Then she thought about her promise to meet Joy at the library after school. They had planned to ogle Dan Richards, Joy’s latest romantic interest.
“Well, I should hope not. It’s only the biggest event of the school year. And it’s just four weeks away. I was thinking about doing a May festival theme. Lots of fresh flowers and daisy chains. What do you think?”
Elly only half heard her. She couldn’t have cared less. Naturally, since Kathy was the most popular girl at Lincoln Junior High, everybody on the committee would think it was a terrific idea. Frankly, Elly thought the old cafeteria would look better decked out like a bomb shelter than a garden. But who cared what she thought? Who cared what silly old Elly liked? Maybe next year, she told herself grimly. She’d be the ninth grader, and Kathy would start tenth grade at Leon High. It would be the first time they hadn’t gone to the same school in eight years.
Elly thought about how nice it would be to finally be free of Kathy, to finally be out from under her sister’s shadow. She would be just Elly—and not Kathy Rowan’s little sister. She couldn’t wait!
* * * *
As Mrs. Wenzel tapped her toe impatiently, Elly frantically searched through her notebooks for her homework assignment. She knew Kathy had been Mrs. Wenzel’s star pupil. She’d never been late on assignments. And she’d never lost anything important either.
“I did the homework, Mrs. Wenzel. I—I just can’t find it.” Elly’s cheeks burned. She knew every eye in class was focused on her, but the notebooks refused to cough up the missing report.
“There are only eight weeks of school left. Maybe you can find it before the term is out,” Mrs. Wenzel said with irritation. “Just bring it in tomorrow, Elly.” She turned and paced to the front of the classroom.
Elly slid down into her desk chair, folded her arms, an
d stared straight ahead. She was so embarrassed. Just another case of being second-best to Kathy!
At lunchtime she found Joy primping in the girls’ bathroom. “It’s about time,” Joy scolded.
Elly shoved her books onto a stainless steel shelf. She stepped around two other girls to stand next to Joy in front of the mirror. “Give me a break. It’s been a bad day.” She dragged her brush through her straight brown hair. The fluorescent lights made her look colorless and drab. She thought of Kathy’s chestnut-colored hair, so dark and thick—like a veil past her shoulders. “Do you have a comb? My hair looks like wet spaghetti.”
Joy rummaged through her purse and held out a comb. “Are we going to the library after school?”
“Can’t. I’ve got to go to a dumb decorations committee meeting.”
“But you promised.”
“I can’t help it. Kathy roped me into working on the committee with her. I have to go.”
“Who wants to go to the stupid old dance anyway?” Joy mumbled.
Elly gave her a knowing glance. “No one asked you either, huh?”
Joy’s irritation turned into a sheepish grin. It was always easier to pretend you didn’t want to go than to admit that no one had asked you. “How about you?”
“Get serious.” Elly pulled the comb through her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. “I’m afraid my hair needs more than combing.”
“Who’s Kathy going with?”
“I think she’s dropping all the names of the guys who’ve asked her into a hat and drawing out the lucky one,” Elly said a bit sourly.
“That many, huh?”
Elly shrugged. “So who cares? After this summer we’ll be the queen bees at Lincoln.”
Joy glanced around the green-tiled bathroom. “Some throne room.” They both giggled.
“Come on,” Elly said. “The bell’s ringing. Walk me to my class. I’ll call you tonight with a flash bulletin on the Spring Dance decorations.”
Joy rolled her eyes. “I can hardly wait.”
* * * *
“You didn’t say much in the meeting, Elly.”
Elly shrugged and continued walking next to her sister down the old cracked sidewalk toward home. She rested her books on her hip and breathed in the sweet smell of the late afternoon April air. In a few weeks the entire city of Asheville would be sprouting to life. The surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains would begin to bloom, carpeting the slopes with spring pastels. “I didn’t have anything to contribute.”
“Well, you must have had a few ideas.” Kathy sounded irritated. “Honestly, Elly. I thought you’d have something to suggest.”
“The others were doing fine without me.” Elly recalled the eager faces at the cafeteria table, turned with rapt attention toward Kathy. Naturally, they had gone for every one of Kathy’s ideas. The cafeteria would be transformed into a May garden as Kathy wanted. Kathy thought she could get several local florists to donate flowers. Elly glanced sideways at her sister. Who would say no to Kathy? Who could stare into those blue eyes and that dimpled smile and tell her no?
“But you’re not crazy about the idea.”
“Just don’t let it look like a wedding—or worse— a funeral.”
“It won’t,” Kathy said. “I’ll supervise it personally. It’ll be beautiful. You wait and see.”
Elly nodded, absolutely positive that it would look perfect. After all, wasn’t Kathy in charge?
How could anything go wrong with Kathy’s touch on it?
TWO
“What are those weird things on your feet, Elly? I’ve never seen socks like that before!” Mr. Rowan asked his daughter as she set the table for supper.
“Oh, Daddy!” Elly tried not to giggle. She was used to her father teasing her about her wild taste in clothing. “These are the latest thing. Like them?” She pointed her toe and displayed her new hot-pink and black striped socks.
Mr. Rowan finished drying his hands on a paper towel. He rolled up the sleeves on his flannel work shirt. “Hope they came free in a cereal box. I’d hate to think you paid money for them.”
Kathy stopped tossing the salad, crossed the kitchen, and kissed her father’s cheek. “Hi, Daddy. Did you have a good day at work?”
Elly felt annoyed. Why did Kathy have to butt into their private conversation?
“Fine day, kitten.” He used his favorite nickname for his older daughter. “If the spring rains hold off a little longer, we’ll get all the foundations poured in the new subdivision by the end of the month.”
Mr. Rowan was a construction supervisor for one of the city’s largest building contractors. His work depended on the weather. He was a mountain of a man, big-shouldered and broad-chested. His massive arms were used to doing hard physical labor. Elly thought he was the strongest man in the world. Her favorite photograph was one of her father holding his arms up, in a typical he-man pose. Four-year-old Kathy and three-year-old Elly dangled from each bulging arm.
“How was school?” He directed his question to both of them, but it was Kathy who started a running report first. Again, Elly felt annoyed. She felt very small, almost invisible, every time Kathy was in the room.
“The Spring Dance is going to be fabulous,” Kathy gushed. “We’ve got all these great plans to decorate. The cafeteria will look like a garden by the time I’m through with it.”
“Who are you going with?” asked Mrs. Rowan as she set a bowl of steaming stew onto the table.
“Why does the school promote dating anyway?” Mr. Rowan grumbled to no one in particular. “These are only kids. Why rush them into growing up?”
“Oh, Daddy!” Elly rolled her eyes. She knew that her dad felt that she and Kathy were too young to be dating.
Mrs. Rowan patted the back of his roughskinned hand. “Calm down, dear. It’s only a dance, hardly a computer dating service. Wouldn’t you rather have them going two by two to the school cafeteria with lots of adult supervision?”
Mr. Rowan grumbled, but accepted his wife’s reasoning, while heaping his plate with ladles of thick stew.
Kathy just looked down at her plate and said nothing. Elly narrowed her eyes at her. She had lived with her sister too long not to notice the tightening of her shoulders and the nervous glance around the kitchen. What’s going on, Kathy?
Her parents had noticed nothing, but Elly had. Her senses tingled. Why hadn’t Kathy spoken up? She usually did whenever Dad got on his soapbox about dating. After all, guys had been trying to ask her out since she was twelve.
“How about you, Elly?” Mrs. Rowan asked. “Are you going with anyone in particular?”
“Didn’t I tell you? The Prince of England is flying in specially to escort me.”
“Mercy. Do I have to plan a meal for him?”
“Naw. We’re going out for burgers.” Inwardly, Elly knew that she’d be going with Joy to sit among the other unasked girls of the school.
“Well, I know you two will be the best-looking girls there,” Mr. Rowan said. Then his gaze fell on Kathy and softened. “Aren’t you going to ask me to buy you something new?” His eyes twinkled.
“Oh, could we, Daddy? Could we get new outfits just for the dance?” Kathy came to life with his surprise offer.
“I’ll bet Mom would love to take you out this weekend and do some shopping.”
Mrs. Rowan opened her mouth as if to protest, but closed it when Kathy jumped up and threw her arms around her father’s neck. “Thanks! Thanks a million. I know just what I want.”
“How about you, Elly? Think you can find something to match those socks?”
Elly blushed, twisting her legs under the table. “They have some even weirder than this,” she countered, suddenly wanting to dress as outrageously as possible for the dance. “I think they’d be perfect.”
“Don’t embarrass me,” Kathy said, frowning.
Elly smiled back at her sweetly. “Never, dear sister. Would I embarrass you? Never.” But she felt a little satisfied over Kathy’s dis
comfort. She hoped she could find something really strange to wear. Not that she liked looking weird—but it would be worth the look on Kathy’s face when she saw her at the dance! Worth every bit of weirdness!
* * * *
Elly paced around her bedroom, unable to concentrate on homework. She couldn’t get her mind off Kathy’s reaction to their mom’s question at supper: “Who are you going with?” Even now, hours later, the memory of Kathy’s response kept bothering Elly.
“I think I’d better check this out,” she said out loud. She went down the hallway to Kathy’s door and knocked. “It’s me. Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Elly entered, seeing the pretty white canopy over the bed where Kathy lay sprawled with papers and books. “What’s up?”
Elly surveyed the white and pink furniture and dainty-print wallpaper. The room was a perfect reflection of Kathy—pretty, neat, and smelling faintly of lavender perfume. She settled onto the pink bedspread next to her sister. “Just thought I needed some company.”
Kathy eyed her suspiciously. “Joy’s line busy?”
“That, too.” Elly picked up a framed photograph of Kathy and herself taken the summer before on their family vacation. They were on the beach. Kathy looked curvy and feminine in her two-piece blue bathing suit. Elly looked rather flat and ordinary standing next to Kathy on the sparkling white sand. “Why do you keep this dumb picture around?”
“I like it. Don’t you?”
“Not much.” Elly set it back on the bedside table. “At supper tonight, when Mom asked about the dance . . . who are you going with, Kathy?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
Elly stared at her. There it was again! She saw the uncomfortable look on Kathy’s face. “I heard Nick Hepplewhite asked you.”
“He’s just a kid.”
“He’s a ninth grader.” Elly personally thought Nick was pretty cool. Six weeks before, so had Kathy. So what had changed her mind? “You get a better offer?”
“Maybe.”