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Winter Break

  By: Elsha Hawk

  Copyright 2011 Elsha Hawk

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. If you would like to share this book, please link to this book’s webpage. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This story is purely fictional.

  Winter Break

  The best part about winter

  Is coming soon

  A break from the pressures

  Of East High school

  No more scrutiny

  Every day

  No more papers due

  Or tests to take

  School is a horrid place

  Full of woe

  Eyes are always on me

  Head to toe

  Hands of the clock, Move!

  I command

  Can’t make time go faster

  Staring at the second hand

  Not hearing a word

  Teacher utters

  Oblivious to passed notes

  And student mutters

  Pitched forward in my seat

  Ring bell, Ring!

  Gripping the edges of my books

  Chime bell, Ding!

  Finally, it blares, like a starting pistol

  I bolt

  Hit the halls, moving fast

  Revolt

  Spin the dial, grab the bag

  Slam

  Outside I can breathe

  Bedlam

  Students flee, fan out

  Escape

  Someone one calls my name

  “Hey Kate”

  Cold

  I tried to avoid their

  Eyes

  But the whole group

  Stared

  I ducked my head

  Low

  And hurried past

  They scowled at me

  Haters

  Because I had spoken

  Out

  For this little Emo girl

  Innocent

  Just different and picked on

  I’m getting the cold shoulder

  Now

  No one has talked to me

  All week

  And I don’t need these

  Friends

  I’d rather find nicer people

  “Kate, over here!” Calls out

  Again

  A girl waves from her car

  Smiling

  My new dark haired friend

  Emo

  Who is much nicer to me

  Snow

  Soft flakes gather and begin to stick

  I think about how it will look

  Later in the mountains

  Out at the cabin in the hills

  We spend Christmas skiing

  My whole family goes

  And the snow is so deep

  It makes everything quiet

  I need the silence

  To cover over me

  Just like I needed

  Emily’s friendship

  To cushion the fall

  From the high pedestal

  My old friends are still on

  Looking down at me

  I’m happy for the break

  Away from my life

  Time to soothe my frayed nerves

  And find myself outside of those doors

  The snow doesn’t care

  It covers everything equally

  Erases inequalities

  Makes things the same

  Sometimes you need to start over

  Like spring after the melting snow

  But first you must erase the mess

  With all that white

  White

  I push through the door

  The warm air of home

  Rushes around me

  Welcomes me in a hug

  Breathe a sigh of relief

  Home is safe, comforting

  I am the real me here

  I can start the day over

  Erase the girl with the perfect

  Clothes, hair, and smile

  Bathe myself in the things I love

  I come clean, taking off the mask

  I am washed white

  No marks on me

  Put there by the scorn

  And words of others

  Sometimes words do hurt

  They mar my view of myself

  Coloring my soul in shades

  Of darkest shadow

  But here I can relax

  The shadows are chased away

  By the warm light of home

  Until my soul is white

  Scarves

  The Mall bustles with holiday shoppers

  I need a new scarf to match my new coat

  I happily try a few styles on

  Looking in the mirror

  Behind me people pass

  Reflections of themselves

  But I am me now,

  Not who I was

  A grandmother passes

  Two small girls in hand

  They skip, tugging her along

  And I smile

  Behind them moves a young man

  Hands tucked in coat pockets

  Headed the opposite direction

  Casually, calmly, comfortable in his skin

  I admire him

  Not only his stride

  But as he turns,

  His handsome face

  I find myself holding my breath

  My cheeks blush in the mirror

  And I turn to see him for real

  As if his mirror image lies

  He sees me, with my scarf

  It matches my eyes

  I can’t help but grin and lower them

  I turn away from this moment

  Then he is beside me

  “Hello, I’m Vic.”

  “Kate.” I can’t believe myself!

  “Nice scarf.”

  “Thanks. I’m going skiing.”

  “Really? Around here?”

  “Lake Blue Moon”

  “Really? Maybe I’ll see you there”

  Coats

  My ex-friends all wear coats

  Of varnish over their persons

  They lacquer on their smiles

  And pretend they are perfect

  But Vic didn’t seem to do that

  Even though talking to him was easy

  Which made me wonder

  If he was real or hidden under a coat of varnish

  I walked with him to the food court

  Smiling and chatting

  Sweating and blushing

  My heart was fluttering

  I took off my coat

  And I saw them

  The old clique

  Sitting at a table looking at me

  Would they come over

  And ruin this impromptu date?

  They grabbed their coats

  Throwing away their food

  As if I ruined their appetite

  And walked past me, noses up

  Kristy shoved me

  Into Vic

  I stumbled

  He caught me

  “Hey!” he called out

  They stalked off

  Their varnish at high sheen

  His words reflecting off their coats

  He saw me duck my head

  I didn’t respond

  I didn’t deserve their hate

  He knew I had fallen

  “I gotta go.”

  My eyes spoke apologies

  For my lowly position

  “No, stay.”

  Gloves

  My ex friends turned at his “Hey”

  Ready to fight

  The gloves were off

  I couldn’t believe my eyes

  They stared him down

  Eyes full of scorn


  Hands went to hips

  Frowns were worn

  “What’s your deal?”

  He confronted

  They saw his face

  And looked affronted

  “Say you’re sorry”

  He commanded

  They scowled at me

  Our group disbanded

  It was but a tiny victory

  I had the hunk

  They couldn’t admit defeat

  Their attitudes stunk

  “You didn’t have to..”

  I began

  “You’re better than them.”

  My heart swam

  But I had to leave the Mall

  To soon

  I wondered if I’ll see him

  On lake Blue Moon

  I shouldn’t have let him

  Fight for me

  In hindsight it made

  Me look weak

  My head was confused

  What did he think?

  Did he like protecting me?

  I needed a shrink

  Red Cheeks

  There’s only so much family

  I can take in one vacation

  I need to ration them out

  So I hit the slopes

  Swish, swoosh, stop

  Skiers like gulls

  Fly side to side

  Dip behind hills

  Appear over the crests

  Watch the other skiers

  Smaller and smaller

  The lift nears the top

  Slide from the seat

  Swish, swoosh crash!

  Acrobatic moves keep me upright

  Someone looked up at me

  A red nose under goggles

  Eyes belong to Vic!

  “Excuse me, my apologies”

  “Oh hello Kate”

  He remembered my name!

  “Fancy meeting you here”

  My cheeks grew red

  Not from the wind

  “Would you ski with me?”

  We were like gulls

  My nose grew red

  Redder than my cheeks

  The wind did not burn them

  As much as my heart for him

  Steam Dry

  The resort fireplace is huge

  Logs crackle in the flames

  Heat radiates outward

  Melting snow from gloves and boots

  I sit across from Vic

  His eyes are dreamy

  I swim in them as he speaks

  Giggling at the right times

  My face full of light

  Heart radiating outward

  Floating in my chair

  Melting into my shoes

  As the moisture warmed

  Evaporating from our clothes

  We warmed to each other

  Pheromones riding the steam

  Our cabins were opposites

  On each end of the long road

  But even far apart

  We never felt closer

  Dry, cozy, warm in bed

  The same stars twinkled

  Over his head and mine

  Bringing me sweet dreams

  Furnace

  I found him in the resort

  Snowboard in hand

  Decided I could try a lesson

  Unafraid to crash land

  With Vic as my teacher

  I’d be light on my feet

  His hand in mine

  Even falling would be sweet

  I fell into his arms

  Not one time but a few

  Each time wishing madly

  He would get a clue

  I wanted desperately to kiss him

  To feel his lips on mine

  Wanted desperately to hold him

  His chiseled body so fine!

  I burned with passion and desire

  Never feeling the chill

  On those slopes we spent hours

  Never succumbing to lust’s will

  It was a time of testing

  Fine tuning to each other

  Walking through the flames

  A fire between one another

  Log Cabin

  I eat dinner in my cabin

  Daydreaming over my peas

  Parents catching on

  Beginning to tease

  “Who is he?” asks Mom

  “A guy” I reply

  “What’s his name?” asks Dad

  “Vic” I flush, tongue-tied

  Excusing myself

  For a moment of peace

  Chill air on my hot cheeks

  Body wrapped in fleece

  I consider hiking down

  To a cabin number I know

  Gives me goosebumps just thinking it

  Fresh prints in the snow

  Warm yellow light spills out

  From the merriment inside

  On tiptoe I peer in

  Spying the scene, I could have died

  Vic sits beside

  A drop dead gorgeous girl

  Whom he tickles and charms

  Sharing hugs, makes me hurl

  My insides went cold

  Then numb and sad

  Tears ran down freely

  Never again to be glad

  Skiing

  My emotions went downhill

  They fell so fast

  Like the diamond coarse

  I’d saved for last

  The deadliest slope

  Would welcome my tumble

  As I plummet and drop

  Heart in a crumble

  Throwing myself

  Into the wind

  Muffling my cries

  Tears freezing to my chin

  I want to go home

  I declare at the door

  Surprised, my parents’ eyes

  Take to the floor

  They know my heart is broken

  My door is slammed shut

  Bed creaks with my weight

  My sobs stifled somewhat

  Sleep comes slowly

  But red-eyed I wake

  Still in my scarf

  Still at the lake

  Ice

  Today

  I don’t want

  Anyone

  To speak

  To me

  Not even

  Strangers

  Or waitresses

  And especially

  Not

  Family

  Friends

  Or

  Him

  So I

  Refuse to

  Speak

  To anyone

  Or look

  At them

  Either

  Because

  If I do

  I might cry

  Again

  Hot Cocoa

  Steaming cup

  Warms the hands

  Then the nose

  And finally the soul

  I took my troubles

  To a table I knew well

  A silent ear waits

  For me to spill

  Soft hands envelop

  Her own mug of warmth

  Wisdom peers through

  Her bespectacled eyes

  She waits, the wisps of steam

  Drifting up before her face

  Disappearing in her white wispy hair

  Knowing I will tell it all

  After I spill, I wait for her

  She digests the drama

  Along with the hot drink

  Sitting back, saying “Hm”

  But she pats my hand

  Says, “You know what is right.”

  And I breathe a huge sigh

  “I know loneliness hurts”

  She peers in my eyes

  “But it makes togetherness

  That much sweeter.”

  She is so wise!

  Melt

  At dinner that night

  He comes in to eat

  With his family

  And that girl


  I ignore him

  When I go to the restroom

  And I know he’s watching

  Confused

  As I leave the room

  He’s at the door

  “What’s wrong?”

  He asks about my coldness

  “Who’s she?” I say

  In so many words

  He sighs and smiles

  “She’s my cousin”

  My face goes bright red

  And he opens his arms

  For forgiveness

  I fall in, so relieved

  And embarrassed

  He squeezes me

  Then offers an introduction

  Happy again,

  I meet them, then

  He meets my family

  All charming

  We join our tables

  Fellowship and supper

  Feasting and sharing

  Friendship so sweet

  Stars

  One thing about winter,

  The stars fill the sky

  A giant diamond splintered

  Silent nights are so crisp

  Shadows so blue

  Chimney smoke a gray wisp

  I wish I could stay here

  Stars in his dark eyes

  Deep into their depths I peer

  He’s completely star struck

  But really it’s me

  With the wonderful luck

  A shooting star passes

  Make a wish he says

  Time slows like molasses

  I close my lucky eyes

  And feel him lean in

  Lips to lips, not surprised

  I hold him tighter then

  We melt into one

  Whole world stops its spin

  Stars glitter and soon fade

  Over love just born

  And a friendship remade