Without care
Written by Kam Carr
CHAPTER ONE
Jennifer Hopkins
“It's another sunny day here in Summerton” booms the radio presenter, with my eyes still closed I reach over and hit the snooze button. Monday already? What happened to my weekend? I toss back the cover and swung my legs out of the bed.
I stroll over to the window and sure enough the radio presenter is right, it was sunny. I could hear my crazy mother downstairs singing along to the radio. Some song about 'loving somebody'. I walk over to my wardrobe and pull back the door. It was time to get ready and prepare myself for the hell that is High School.
After getting dressed in my usual skinny jeans and baggy sweatshirt, I finally made my way downstairs into the kitchen. My mother was sitting in her normal place at the breakfast bar, with her mirror plastering make-up on her face. Lacey, my little sister sat watching in awe.
“Morning,” my mother smiles; not taking her eyes off the mirror whilst pouting. I have no idea why she wears that rubbish every day. She is sicking beautiful, blonde hair, flawless skin, big blue eyes and a figure that a 20 year old would be jealous of. I apparently look just like her, which I disbelieved.
She held up a lipstick as I walked over. “Here,” she held it out for me. “Why don't you wear this today?”
I roll my eyes. “No, thank you” I mumble, pushing her hand away. Everyday we had the same argument, her insisting I dressed more like her and me protesting I liked the way I dressed.
“Come on,” she sighed, her made up over the top eyes flicking towards me. “How are you going to get a boyfriend in those baggy clothes?” I stare blankly at her with one eyebrow raised. “You should experiment,” she quietly added.
“Is that what you were doing Friday night?”
“I was letting my hair down.”
“You’ve just met him, mom” I remind her; she shakes her head and goes back to doing her make-up. She is my mother and I love her dearly; I wish just once she would act like one. I turned my attention to Lacey and began to get her breakfast ready.
'Letting her hair down’ – What a lame excuse, she seemed to be letting her hair down every Friday night. It didn't bother me that she wanted to have a good time, it was just she seemed to be seeing a different bloke every couple of weeks. This week it was the cop, two weeks ago it was Pete the musician and I can't even remember who she saw before that.
We had moved to Summerton just over seven months ago and it was the first place in years we had actually settled. My mother had a job as a receptionist; Lacey attended Elementary school and enjoyed it. I went to Summerton High and had actually made two decent friends. No matter how settled we were, I was always on edge. Anxious that one day someone would find us and destroy the little life we had created.
Now to top it all, she was seeing yet another man. Summerton was a little town just on the edge of the coast; it was always warm and sunny. It was a picturette American town, sometimes walking through the streets it felt like you were stuck in a time warp. Everyone knew everyone, as no one ever seemed to leave. Which meant my mother was probably the latest gossip AGAIN!
I placed a bowl of cereal in front of Lacey and took a seat take to her. We both started eating and watched my mother fanning out her hair. She stood up and smooth down her tiny black skirt, which made me cringe. Why couldn't she dress properly, she was forty and insisted on wearing those tiny nothing skirts and those tight fitting shirts.
She had every red blooded male around here lusting after her, the women obviously disliked her and she was beginning to get a reputation. It was as if she didn't care, she liked all the attention. She hadn't always been like this. I remember the time she actually baked cookies and actually got ME breakfast.
I look over at Lacey, still watching my mother as if she was the best thing since slice bread. Poor Lacey had never met the woman I had. She’d only seen her as this. Lacey was five, surely she deserved better than this. If my father was here, the second it crossed my mind my stomach turns.
That was a stupid thing to think, he was the reason we moved around, he was the reason my mother acted the way she did.
I’m not entirely sure what happened between my parents. I just remember being woken up in the middle of the night and being thrown in a car, going god knows where. I just knew we couldn't contact him and he couldn't find us. Still to this day she won't speak about him and I don't dare to mention him.
“Right” my mother's voice bringing my thoughts to a stop. “Off to work. Will you be a sweetie, Jen and do the shopping tonight?” She picked her bag up from the kitchen side. “And while you're there, can you pick up my dry cleaning.”
“Yes,” I groan.
“Thank you,” she swipes between me and Lacey placing kisses on our cheeks. Then walks towards the door, before leaving she turns and does an over dramatic bow before gliding out of the room.
Lacey laughs at our crazy mother's exit. “Mommy's funny,” she giggles, smiling from ear to ear.
“Yeah, she's a hoot” the sarcasm spilling out of my mouth.
When I arrived at school the car park was already filled with teenagers eagerly waiting to gossip about their weekend. My mother keeps saying that this is meant to be the best time of my life, seriously? Peer pressure, the constant need of fitting in, the crushes, raging hormones and no doubt unrequient love. No, I couldn't wait to finish High School.
I walk through the car park, not really noticing anyone and made my way over to shady part where I normally met my friends, Becks and Ali.
As always there they were both sat; Ali with a head in a book and Becks playing on her phone. As if they could sense my presence their heads looked up at me. Ali was a petite girl, long dark hair with exotic skin tone and dark eyes. Becks was on the curvy side with black hair, pale skin and sharp green eyes.
I had made friends with them instantly. I trusted them more than I trusted my own mother. If it wasn't for them I would have remained the outsider. With them by my side, school seemed a lot easier.
“Hi,” I smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “How was your weekend?”
“Boring” Ali groaned, closing her book. “My father made us go sailing.”
“So,” Becks began, ignoring Ali completely. “Rumour has it your mother has a new man on the go.”
I looked down at my feet, it had got around already. “How did you find out?” I cringed, awkwardly playing with the strap of my rucksack.
“Ted” that must be the name of the cop. “Is a friend of my fathers.” Yep, made sense, like I said everybody knew everybody. “Apparently, Ted is very keen on your mother.”
“Tell me someone who isn't” I hissed, looking back up at my friends. I started walking towards the school building, wondering how many other people knew my mother's bedroom activities. Ali and Becks caught me up.
“I wish my Mom was like yours” Ali blurted out. I snorted and shook my head. “I do,” she insisted.
“Your Mom seems so much fun and she has a wicked dress sense. My mother just bakes and spends all day in an apron.”
“Wanna trade?” I joked. The pair laughed at my little joke and we made our way to class.
The morning seemed to be a blur of classes and me avoiding speaking to anyone. I had this paranoid thought that everyone was whispering behind my back, laughing about my wayward mother and the latest notch on her bedpost. If only she knew how her behaviour affected me, she was too selfish to think about anyone but herself.
It was lunch time and I entered the cafeteria. It was filled with teenagers, all divided in their own little group. The popular kids, the sporty kids, the brainy kids, the beautiful kids and then the ones that didn't seem to have a place in the school.
I found Ali and Becks already sat eating lunch. We didn't belong to any group, which suited me fine. I had always seen myself as a leader and not a follower. Besides, who would want to be labelled? Once you left school you left it behind anyway.
I pulled my lunch box out, opened it up and began to munch on my carrot sticks. Ali and Becks were in deep conversation and I just sat back listening, every so often adding my little bit.
A loud laughter filled the room and my eyes looked over at the popular kids' table. Of course, Chase Walker was the centre of attention. He was the leader of that little group, girls lusted after him and the boys wanted to be him. He was your classic all American boy- blonde hair, handsome, well built and the school's top football player. His family were rich too; he had the perfect life and anything he wanted at the click of his fingers.
I would be lying if I said I didn't fancy him, of course I did. After all, I am human and a girl. I quickly looked away before he noticed me staring, which sometimes he did. He would smile and I would blush, that was the only communication we had. Apart from when we were in maths together, then he would copy my answers and dazzle me with his boyish grin.
“Ugh” Becks spat. “Would you look at her...?” Her eyes were now on that table, me and Ali followed her gaze. Chrissy Cartwright, the head cheerleader, was now talking to Chase. Her fingers running up and down his arm, her eyelashes fluttering. “Why doesn't she just put a sign around her neck? Go out with me Chase! Ugh.”
Becks hated Chrissy, apparently a few years ago, they were best friends. When Chrissy realized things were greener on the popular side, she switched over – Leaving Becks bitter and full of hatred.
I looked away again and this time in a different direction. That's when I noticed him, sitting alone in a quieter part of the hall. He was leaning back in his chair, his eyes closed. I had never seen him before, as if he could tell, his eyes sprung open and locked on mine.
A chill ran through my body, he was beautiful; toussal auburn hair, deep dark eyes, sculptured but angular features. He had a slender frame, but with a hint of muscle. His clothes reminded me of something an indie singer would wear, baggy jeans, a green T-shirt with an urban logo. Everything about him called out individual, one of a kind.
He frowned, pushed back his chair, grabbed his bag and stormed off. My eyes followed him out and I let out a deep breath. Who was he? My heart thumped against my chest and what was his problem? I shook my head and carried on eating my lunch. It was a small town, so I would find out sooner or later.
“What are you doing tonight, Jen?” Ali asked.
“I have to pick up my mothers dry cleaning, do a shift at the Diner and then do some food shopping.” I made a face, and then carried on munching a carrot. Knowing my luck, I would also have to pick Lacey up from Mrs Queen; the dear old lady who lived across the road, she had taken a shine to Lacey and insisted on watching her while me and my mother worked. Then probably cook dinner and to top it all homework.
“That' a shame” Becks pouted. “We were going to catch a film tonight. Maybe we should wait until you’re free.”
I shook my head. “You go with your plans” I gave a little smile to hide my disappointment.
I never did average teenager things. I had a mother and a sister to take care of. 17 years old and I seemed to be the head of the household. Once again, I felt that small flame of anger towards my mother, she couldn't be completely oblivious of how much I done. Or did she not care to even notice.
The bell rang, telling us lunchtime was over. I packed my things away and followed the herd of students leaving the cafertia. Maybe if I wished hard enough life would change and I could be like other all the others.
I don't even remember the moment she changed into the stranger she is. I am pretty sure it was sometime last year. Exactly how much fun can you have getting intoxicated and sleeping with the first person you see. I just know that I am not ending up like her, I am never getting married and I am never having children.
I walked into Howard’s; it was our very own town supermarket. They sold everything. Mrs Howard was standing in her usual place behind the counter. Her face lighting up as I approached, she was a nice woman to speak to. However, you had to watch what you said, unless you wanted the whole town to know.
“Hi, Jen and how are you today?”
“Fine,” I lied, giving my best attempt at smiling. “I just came to get my mother's dry cleaning.” I reached into my pocket and retrieved the slip I had remembered to pick up this morning.
“Okay,” she took the slip off me. “Be back in a moment.” She disappeared into the back, leaving me alone in the large, over crammed store. The bell above the door rang and I turned, to my surprise the boy from lunch was walking in. He didn't seem to notice me and walked over to drink aisle.
I stood on the spot for a second. It couldn't hurt to introduce myself. After all, he probably already knew about my mother. I walked quietly over to him. I've been never a confident person. I didn't normally do this. I just wanted to put a name to his beautiful face. He must have heard my footsteps as his eyes darted in my direction.
“Hey,” I said weakly.
“Hey,” he coughed, picking up something.
“Are you new?” I cringed at my poor attempt at conversation. He shrugged, putting the object in hands down and picking something else up. “My name is Jen” I added, beginning to feel a little frustrated that he was acting as if I wasn't even there.
“Look,” he spun round to face me. “I don't need a welcoming comity, okay. I am very flattered that you seem to have this need to speak to me.” His voice lowered and I was hypnotized by his eyes, they were almost black. “But don't!” He placed whatever he was holding back and stormed out of the store.
“Here you go,” Mrs Howard had now returned with my mother’s dry cleaning. I slowly spun round and went to fetch it. “Who were you talking to?”
“I have no idea” I mumbled. “Thank you.” Without another word I walked out of the store. I began to make my way towards the Diner, my thoughts still with the dark eyed stranger with the bad attitude.
At least I knew he was new to Summerton, but why was he so hostile towards me. I know no one likes change, but there was no need to take it out on me. In fact, I was one of the few who could relate to him. It hadn't been that long ago I was the new kid in town.
I pushed through the door and the smell of fried food hit me. The place was packed with people from my school. I walked through the back, dumping my bag and the dry cleaning in the office. It was empty for a change, which meant Carl the owner, was actually doing some work.
I grabbed my apron and walked back into the Diner. I loved this place, as much as I moan about it. I liked the vibe it had, it was bright and cheerful. I made my way over to the counter and there was Carl flipping burgers.
“Hey,” I greeted him.
“Jen” he said my name relieved. “Am I glad your here. Betty rang in sick.” I watched as he placed a burger in its basket. “Take this to table 5 for me and when you're done, collect baskets and cups.”
I picked up the basket, turned on my heel and strolled over to table 5. I didn't even have to look where I was going as I knew this place like the back of my hand.
“One cheeseburger and fries” I sang as I placed the basket down on the table.
“You do know it's illegal to stalk someone” my head darted up at the sound of the voice. Once again, those dark eyes were glaring at me. I felt my cheeks flush bright red. “Well, Jen” he reached for the ketchup bottle. "Have you been working here long?”
His question took me off guard and his voice didn't sound as hostile as it was in Howard’s. I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to answer his question. I just carried on staring at him; he raised an eyebrow and placed a fry into his mouth.
“What?” He laughed, sitting back in the booth and stretching his arm across the back. “Don't want to make polite chit chat now?”
“Not really,” I man
aged to say, I turned my back on him and began to clean tables. In that second I decided I was going to keep away from him. Although, he was good looking. However, he acted like a totally jackass. I had better things to do than try to make friends with someone who wasn't really interested.
Just like I had predicted I did have to pick Lacey up and I did have to cook dinner. My mother decided to come home at eight o'clock, two hours after she had finished work. By this time Lacey was in my bed and I was rushing through my homework.
She breezed into the kitchen and I could smell the alcohol on her breath. I bit down hard on my lip, to avoid saying anything I regretted in the morning. I pretended I hadn't noticed her and focused on my notebook.
Now she was drinking during the week? Could we even afford that? I could slowly see this getting out of control. Soon it would be drinking at lunch and shortly followed with as soon as she got up.
I could feel my blood beginning to boil. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as she perched on a stool and kicked her shoes off. Every now and then she would sway and give a little giggle.
“Where have you been?” I asked.
“My boss took me for a couple of drinks,” she smiled, flicking her hair. “Did Lacey go down okay?”
“Of course,” I said, the annoyance filling my voice. Did you notice how she didn’t ask anything about me? I couldn't wait to finish high school and leave for college. Although, the thought of leaving Lacey behind with her was freighting. Gees, it wasn't even my place to look after Lacey, I wasn't her mother. I should be the one going out at night not having a worry in the world.
She pulled a packet of cigarettes out of her purse, lit it and began to smoke. I rolled my eyes, she knew I hated her smoking as well as everything else she did. In anger, I got off my stool, took the cigarette out of her hand and threw it into the sink.
“Jen?” She sounded innocent and her mouth was open as if it shocked her. I didn't say anything. I just began to pack my books away. “What is wrong with you?”
“Me?” I laughed. “There's nothing wrong with me. Maybe you should ask yourself that question.” I shoot her a look of warning and disappeared up to my room. The nerve of that woman! How come everything was my problem? I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take and once again I was thinking about my father and what was so bad that we had to flee.
I threw my bag on the floor and dived onto my bed. I was exhausted from today and dealing with her. I closed my eyes, only to be staring back into his. He was still bugging me. Another person who thought they could treat me as if I was nothing.
I didn't have mug written on my forehead, so why did they both feel the need to make me feel weak and stupid? I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. I had to toughen up and stop allowing my mother to walk all over me. I had also decided I was going to have it out with the stranger and find out what his problem was. From now on, no one was going to treat like rubbish.