Mister Vanilla, a forty-stone jewel thief and criminal mastermind
Uncle Reefer, a bored boarding-house manager
Aunty Latch, his wife
Lily Gusset, a reverse cross-dresser
Katze, the kab driver
Mrs Lollipop, a bed-ridden widow
Baby, a talking blackbird
Doctor Molasses, a medical man
Matron Majeiski, Ooh Matron
Venus Periwinkle, Yo-yo's Mother
From The Wildcat Circus
Truss, the circus manager
Thyme, the ring-mistress
Rue, the painted lady and Thyme's sister
Ruff, a ball-bouncing bear
Dax and Jax, identical twins in a Hall of Mirrors
Catkin Silver, the Yuman Cannonball
The Lettuce Brothers, Chicory, Endive, Kos, Rocket, the clowns
The Czech Mates, Jezdec, Strelec and Vez, chess-playing trapeze artists
Jungle-Juiced Jake, a decrepit lion-tamer
Brian, a decrepit lion
The People of York
Constable Kipper, a beat policeman
Sigurd the Skull-Splitter, a Viking chieftain
A Ghost Walker
Martin Mizzenmast, a schoolboy and chorister and NOT a buttock-barer
Wee Jocko McTavish, a professional Scotsman
Eleazar Glenn, the two-hundred year old ghost of a six-year old child
King Richard III, pub signboard, waxwork and King of England from 1483 until 1485
William Etty R.A., a Victorian painter turned statue
Constantine the Great, a fourth century Roman Emperor turned statue
Wackem Thrashboy, a Victorian schoolmaster
The Severed Head of Sir Thomas Percy, Seventh Duke of Northumberland
Podgemeister and the Twiglet , brothers (or a rock band. If not, why not?)
Some feisty kids from Bootham School
An old coot whose flat cap gets pissed in
That nice woman from that there shop that sells ladies' requisites
Sir David Attenboroughs and him off the telly…
The voice of Chris Tarrant
Harry Gration and Christa Ackroyd
The voice of Magnus Magnussonsonsons
Her with the face like the back end of an old boot… you know which one!
Hamish, a chocolate Labrador
American, German and Japanese tourists, some ghosts and spirits, publicans, shop assistants, passers-by, school-teachers, Morris dancers and other assorted characters I've forgotten to list like that woman who had the little girl in the push-chair and someone else I can't remember…never mind! You'll find out!