Chapter Two
I woke up on Saturday morning feeling hungover and exhausted. I’d drunk too much wine last night and the last thing I felt like doing right now was playing host to a children’s birthday party. I wanted to drink a big glass of water and go back to bed for another hour or two.
Bradley had finally come home about an hour after I’d called him. He said he’d been tying up loose ends at the office before his golf “meeting” on Saturday morning. I’d tried my hardest and met him at the door in my robe with a glass of wine and 16 empty good bags that needed filling. He’d brushed me off and said that he was beat and just wanted to get some sleep because he had to be up early tomorrow morning to go golfing. We’d argued; didn’t he care that tomorrow was his baby girl’s birthday party? Of course he cared, he’d said, but if I was going to be going around planning elaborate birthday parties someone needed to earn the money to pay for it all.
I’d ended up making my way through the bottle of wine while I blew up balloons and filled the goody bags all by myself.
“Mommy. Mommy.”
I opened my eyes to see Olivia standing next to my bed. She was wearing her pajamas with her princess crown and a huge smile. “What is it, honey?” I croaked out. I sat up and cleared my throat. “I mean, good morning, Olivia! Happy birthday!”
“Is today my birthday party?” she asked.
“It is!”
“I gonna be a princess today?”
“You sure are, sweetheart,” I said.
“Is Daddy coming to my party?”
“Of course he is,” I said. Under the covers, I gave Bradley a little kick. He was still lying with his head under the blankets. “Aren’t you, dear?”
Bradley let out a kind of low moan that sounded like the death throes of a large dinosaur. I checked the clock beside the bed. Six-fifteen.
I sighed. When we were younger, weekends used to mean sleeping in. Kids didn’t understand that concept, so up I got. Downstairs, I poured Olivia a bowl of cereal and turned on cartoons for her while I brewed myself an extra-large cup of coffee. I thought about texting Megan or my mom, but then I remembered that, like normal people without small children, they were probably sleeping in on Saturday morning.
Around seven Henry came downstairs, followed by Bradley. He actually helped me set out some folding chairs and tables in the backyard before disappearing back upstairs to change and get ready for his golf meeting.
“Do you really have to go, Daddy?” asked Olivia.
“Sorry, honey,” Bradley apologized. “It won’t be long. I’ve just got to meet some men and talk to them for a little while. I’ll be back for your party.”
“Promise?” she asked.
“I promise,” he said. He gave her a kiss on the head, and hugged Henry, and then came over to me. “Sorry about the timing of this, Jules. I completely forgot Olivia’s party was this morning when I agreed to go. You know how it is. It would look really bad for me if I backed out of this.”
“You don’t need to convince me,” I told him. “I can hold things down here if this is what you need to do. I’m sorry we argued last night. We all appreciate how hard you work to take care of our family.”
Maybe I was imagining things, but the expression on Bradley’s face suddenly looked extremely pained. It was fleeting, though, and a minute later he was kissing me on the cheek. “Thanks, Jules,” he said. “I love you all. I have a great family.” With a wave, he was out the door.
Now that I was on my own, I called my mom and begged her to come over and watch the kids so I could decorate for the party. I knew Megan, Ashley, and Becca would be tired from their night out last night, and although they loved Henry and Olivia I knew they weren’t always super comfortable around kids.
My parents both showed up half an hour later, bringing two kinds of pasta salad with them. “Just stick the bowls in the fridge,” I directed, “and keep the kids out of the backyard.”
“I can give you some help with set up,” my mom offered. “Your father will hang out with the kids inside.”
“Sure!” said my dad.
“Mom, I want to play golf outside,” said Henry. “Just like Daddy does.”
“Another time, Henry,” I said, frazzled. “Go into the other room with Grandpa and you guys can play for a while. Grandma and I have work to do.”
With my dad and the kids safely in the playroom doing some coloring, my mom and I went in to Bradley’s balloon filled study to gather the balloons and tie them in to bunches. “It’s too bad Bradley couldn’t be here and help you get things set up,” said my mom. “What did he have to do this morning, again?”
“Some golf thing,” I told her. “I guess there are people in town from another branch and they all had to go golfing together this morning, or something.”
“He sure works hard,” my mom said carefully.
“I know,” I said. “He works really hard to give Henry, Olivia, and I a comfortable lifestyle.” My mom didn’t reply to that, and I kicked myself. I’d spoken without thinking. Growing up, my parents worked so hard to keep my brother Josh and I fed and clothed with a roof over our heads. A birthday party like the one I’d planned for Olivia was far more elaborate than anything my parents had been able to give us.
My mom and I worked for almost an hour and a half constructing an intricate balloon arch that lead to the backyard, setting out food on the patio, and setting up an area in the backyard where Olivia’s preschool classmates could run around and play. Bradley was due to arrive back home half an hour before the party started. At fifteen minutes before the party was supposed to start, he still hadn’t come home. I couldn’t wait any longer and told Henry and Olivia that it was time to get changed into their party clothes.
“Isn’t Bradley supposed to be coming back soon?” asked my dad.
“Yes,” I said, staring at my phone. I willed it to ring. Should I call? I’d called last night. I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his coworkers.
Dad waited to see if I was going to say anything else, but when I didn’t he just offered to turn on the barbecue. “If Bradley’s not back in time I can be in charge of grilling the burgers,” he offered.
“Oh, thank you, Dad,” I said, relieved. “I’m just going to- I think I’m going to call him and see when he expects to be home. It would be great if you could turn the grill on.”
With Dad outside turning on the grill and Mom upstairs helping Olivia in to her party dress, I sat down at the kitchen table and called my husband. It rang three times, and I had almost given up and figured I’d be getting voicemail again when he picked up.
“Bradley! Where are you? Olivia’s party starts in fifteen minutes. You’re supposed to be here already. My dad has already said he’ll take over grilling if you can’t handle getting here on time.”
Bradley sounded annoyed and only mildly apologetic. “Look, Julia, I’m sorry. There’s not a lot I can do about it. Car trouble. I might be calling triple-A. I’ll get there as soon as I can. Goodbye.” And with that, he hung up.
I laid my phone on the kitchen table and stared at it silently. What was going on? Why had my husband spoken to me like that? Against my will, tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t cry, not now, not right before my daughter’s birthday party.
The back door opened. “Hello?”
I’d never been so happy to hear my best friend’s voice before. “Megan!” I yelled. “In the kitchen!”
She came through the doorway, holding her platter of brownies. She looked great- well rested and not at all hungover. Lucky girl. When she saw me sitting at the table, she immediately set down her brownies and came over to give me a hug. “Oh, girl,” she said. “What’s going on?”
I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes, so I just focused on my phone. “Bradley’s not going to be able to make it,” I said in as neutral a tone of voice as I could manage. “He had some car trouble and he’s going to miss the party. The start of it, at least. Liv
vie’s going to be crushed.”
“Wait, what?” Megan sat down next to me. “He’s not coming? Why isn’t he here now?”
“He had some golf thing this morning,” I said. “Some golf meeting thing. He said he’d be back in time, half an hour before the party started, but I guess he had car trouble. He’s going to try and make it back as fast as he can,” I added, not quite sure why I was defending my husband.
“Huh,” said Megan. “Okay, we can do this, right? Everything’s set up?”
“Yeah, my parents came over this morning and my mom helped set up while my dad hung out with the kids,” I admitted. “I don’t need his help for anything, just...you know. It’s Olivia’s birthday party. He should be here! I’m going to have to explain to everybody who comes where he is.” I buried my face in my hands.
“Jules, don’t even worry about it,” said Megan. “You go upstairs and get changed. Then pour yourself a big glass of wine and go out to the backyard with Olivia and show her the party setup. I will stand by the front door and greet everyone and tell them Bradley will be joining us late. Okay?”
I opened my mouth to protest, to say that I could do it- that I could do everything, handle everything by myself like it seemed I always did around the house these days- but Megan shook her head and pointed towards the stairs. “Jules. Go change.”
So I did. “Thanks, Meg,” I said, but she shrugged and went to take up her position at the door.
I’d never been so grateful to have such good friends. Maybe we were in a different life stages right now, and even if she said she did, I knew she didn’t fully understand why I couldn’t just get a babysitter. And go hang out with the girls as much as I used to, but she was there for me when I needed her to be. That was more than you could say for Bradley right now, at least.
I showered quickly and blow dried my hair, put on a little bit of makeup, and threw on a maxi dress and sandals before looking in the mirror and deciding I looked presentable enough. I swung by Olivia’s bedroom to pick her up and take her downstairs. She was in her party dress, with her princess crown perched on top of her wild mane of curls. “Is my party ready, Mommy?” she asked.
“It is,” I told her. “We’re going to go downstairs and see it. Grandma and I worked hard to set everything up. Now, Livvie, Daddy’s not here right now-“
The instant the words came out of my mouth, Olivia looked at me and her face fell. I felt terrible. She had always been a bit of a daddy’s girl, and she looked absolutely heartbroken. “Daddy not here, why not?”
I did my best to cover for Bradley, again. “Well, you know he had to have a meeting with some men this morning. His car is having trouble starting, so he’s calling someone to come and fix it. As soon as it’s fixed, he’s going to hurry home to see you because he really doesn’t want to miss your super cool birthday party.”
Thankfully, Olivia accepted my explanation without any fuss, and we all went downstairs together. I covered her eyes as we stepped out the back doors on to the patio, and when she opened her eyes and saw the backyard- the balloon arch, the table covered in food, the chairs and tables set up for guests to eat at, another table covered in party favors- her eyes lit up. “Oh, Mommy, I love it!” she shrieked, and ran around in excited circles looking at everything.
I sat down in a chair and watched her, worn out from the busy morning I’d had. It was worth it. It had been a lot of work and stress and I was still worried about Bradley making it home in time, but it was worth it.
Ashley and Becca showed up then- Ashley was wearing big sunglasses and her voice sounded a little creaky for 11am, but I was happy to see them anyway. “What’s this about Bradley ditching you?” she asked, ignoring my hello.
“Ash!” exclaimed Becca. “Geez. You can’t just start in like that. The party looks great, Julia,” she said to me. “The kids look like they love it. I would’ve gone nuts for this when I was a kid. Didn’t our mothers just take us to the bowling alley with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake or something?”
“Yes, yes, food looks great, decorations are great, blah blah blah,” said Ashley. “Now. Bradley. Where did he go? Why isn’t he here? Megan just said he couldn’t make it.”
“He got stuck at a golf meeting thing this morning,” I said. “Another branch was visiting and he had to go with them, or something. And then he had car trouble. He’ll be here soon,” I added with as much confidence as I could muster.
“That’s so weird. That’s not like him at all,” said Becca. Like me, the girls had known him since high school. “He’s always been such a family person.”
“He’s been working really hard lately,” I found myself saying again. Why did I keep defending him when he hadn’t sounded upset about missing Olivia’s party at all? “He’s been working really hard- we have the new house, we’re supposed to take a vacation together this summer, that kind of thing.”
“It takes pretty much zero effort to go to your daughter’s birthday party, at your house, on the weekend,” said Ashley. “All he had to do was walk outside.”
“He couldn’t get out of the work thing,” I repeated myself. “Anyway. Let’s just forget about it and enjoy the party.”
Ashley seemed annoyed to have her gossiping thwarted, but I just couldn’t bear to sit there and talk about why my husband wasn’t there. I eventually got up and circulated around the party a bit talking to everyone, and at noon people began to eat. I got a text from Bradley saying that he was headed home and should be there soon.
How soon? I typed. Everyone is eating now. Cake will be after people finish up eating. Liv will want to wait for you.
Half an hour I’d say, he replied.
Half an hour???? The party ends at one and we still have to do presents.
Sorry. It is what it is. Car can’t fly.
That made me stop and think. How was he texting if he was driving?
Ok. Put your phone away and don’t text while you’re driving. Come home safely and catch the end of the party. See you soon. Love you.
Eleven minutes passed before I got a reply. I’m using talk to text. See you soon. Give Liv a kiss from me.
The text exchange left me with a bad feeling in my stomach, but I tried to ignore it and enjoy my daughter’s birthday party. I tried to encourage people to spend as long as possible eating, but Olivia was begging for her cake and soon there were fourteen other preschoolers shrieking for cake too. “Don’t you want to wait for Daddy to blow your candles out?” I asked Olivia.
“NO,” she said, and a dark look crossed her sunny face. “I just want my cake right now.”
I relented, and went in to the kitchen to get the cake ready. I was mad at him now, too. What was going on? He wouldn’t have dreamed of missing a birthday party a few years ago. In fact, he used to take personal days off work if one of the kids’ birthdays fell on a weekday, so we could all spend the day together doing fun family activities. Over the last few months, ever since he’d been promoted and all kinds of new responsibilities at work, I was seeing a whole new side to my husband.
Glumly, I stuck a birthday candle shaped like the number four on top of the cake and lit it. My parents had gathered everyone on the patio to watch the birthday girl blow out the candles, and Megan opened the back door for me. As soon as I stepped outside, I used every bit of effort I could muster and plastered the biggest, happiest smile in the world on my face.
“Happy birthday to you,” I started to sing, and the rest of the guests picked up the rest of the song. I carried the cake over and set it down gently on the table in front of my daughter. “Happy birthday, dear Olivia, happy birthday to you!”
Olivia took a deep breath. She closed her eyes theatrically, and with a huge puff blew out her candles.
“Good girl!” said my mom. “What did you wish for?”
Olivia looked down at the ground. “I wish my daddy was here,” she whispered. My heart broke in a million pieces for her. Where was he?