Read A Bohemian Mess: Sherlock Holmes Mystery Page 6
friend's arm in mine, an' t'git away fum th' scene of uproar. He walked swif'ly an' in silence fo' some few minutes until we had turned down one of th' quiet streets which lead towards th' Edgeware Road, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"You's dun did it real supa finely, Docto'," he remarked, cuss it all t' tarnation. "Nodin' could gots been better. Ah be baaad... It be all right. Man!"
"Yo' haf th' photograph?"
"I know where it is."
"An' how did yo' find out?"
"She showed me, as ah' told ya' she would."
"ah's still in th' dark. Shet mah mouth!"
"I do not wish t'make some mystery," said he, laughin'. "De matta' wuz puh'fectly simple. You's, uh course, saw dat everyone in de street wuz an accomplice. Dey wuz all engaged fo' de evenin'."
"ah guessed as much."
"Den, when de row broke out, ah' had some little moist red paint in de palm uh my hand. ah' rushed fo'ward, fell waaay down. clapped mah' hand t'my face, and became some piteous spectacle. It be an old trick. Ya' know?"
"Thet also ah c'd fathom, dawgone it."
"Den dey carried me in. 'S coo', bro. She wuz bound t'have me in. 'S coo', bro. Whut else could she do? And into ha' sittin'-room, which wuz de real room which ah' suspected. It lay between dat and ha' bedroom, and ah' wuz determined t'see which. Lop some boogie. Dey laid me on some couch, ah' moshuned fo' air, dey wuz compelled t'jimmey de window, so cut me some slack, Jack. and ya' had yo' chance."
"How did thet he'p yo'?"
"It wuz all-impo'tant. Man! When some honky chick dinks dat ha' crib be on fire, ha' instinct be at once t'rush t'de doodad which she values most. Man! It be a puh'fectly overpowerin' impulse, and ah' have mo'e dan once snatchn advantage uh it. Man! In de case uh de Darlin'ton substitushun scandal it wuz uh use t'me, and also in de Arnswo'd Castle business. A married honky chick grabs at ha' baby; an unmarried one reaches fo' ha' jewel-box. Slap mah fro! Now it wuz clear t'me dat our lady uh to-day had nodin' in de crib mo'e precious t'ha' dan whut we is in quest of. She would rush t'secure it. Man! De alarm uh fire wuz admirably done. De smoke and shoutin' wuz enough t'shake nerves uh steel. She responded finely. Slap mah fro! De photograph be in some recess behind some slidin' panel plum above da damn right bell-pull. She wuz dere in an instant, and ah' caught some glimpse uh it as she half-drew it out. Man! When ah' cried out dat it wuz some false alarm, she replaced it, glanced at da damn rocket, rushed fum de room, and ah' have not seen ha' since. ah' rose, and, makin' mah' 'suses, escaped fum de crib. ah' hesitated wheda' to attempt t'secure da damn photograph at once; but da damn coachman had mosey on down in, and as he wuz watchin' me narrowly it seemed safa' to wait. Man! A little over-precipitance may ruin all."
"An' now?" ah axed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
"Our quest be practically finished. ah' shall call wid de Kin' to-mo'row, and wid ya', if ya' care t'come wid us. We gots'ta be shown into de sittin'-room t'wait fo' de lady; but it be probable dat when she comes she may find neida' us no' de photograph. Lop some boogie. It might be some satisfacshun t'his Majesty t'regain it wid his own hands."
"An' when will yo' call?"
"At eight in de mo'nin'. She gots'ta not be down, so's dat we shall gots some clear field. Besides, we gots'ta be prompt, fo' dis marriage may mean some complete change in ha' life and habits. ah' gots'ta wire t'de Kin' widout delay. Slap mah fro!"
We had retched Baker Street an' had stopped at th' dore. He was searchin' his pockets fo' th' key when someone passin' said:
"Good nite, Misteh Shehlock Holmes"
Thar were sevahal varmints on th' pavement at th' time, but th' greetin' appeared t'come fum a slim yo'th in an ulster who had hurried by.
"I've heard dat voice befo'e," said Holmes, starin' down th' dimly lit street. "Now, ah' wonda' who de deuce dat could gots been. 'S coo', bro."