***
This ought to have been the happiest day of her life, Isabella thought, watching her new husband from across the room. Instead, guilt and a feeling of utter hopelessness tormented her heart and soul.
As she watched him laughing and jesting with friends he had known since his school days at Eton, her heart sank. He was such a wonderful man! He had so many endearing qualities, which truly made him her perfect match!
Then why couldn’t she stop herself from scanning the crowd for his brother?
“Looking for someone?”
Startled, Isabella spun around and found herself mesmerised by the same hazel eyes that had smiled at her only a moment ago from across the room. Only these eyes held something deeper, something she could not quite name. As they stared into hers, the breath caught in her throat, and she reached out for the wall beside her in order to steady herself.
“Are you all right?” Robert asked, extending a hand to offer support. However, before his hand touched her elbow, he thought better of it. “Should I fetch Charles?”
“No.” Isabella shook her head, afraid to meet his eyes. “I am fine. It’s just…the excitement.”
A smile playing on his lips, he leaned a shoulder against the wall, his head slightly angled toward hers. “Charles truly knows how to throw a party like no one else does.”
Understanding his statement for what it was, Isabella laughed, feeling the tension in her shoulders subside. “He would prefer a good book, I am sure.”
“He would,” Robert agreed, and the smile slowly slid off his face as his eyes looked into hers. “He is a good man and a wonderful brother. Despite my…shortcomings, he has always looked out for me. He has always protected me even when I couldn’t appreciate it at the time.”
Isabella nodded. “He is loyal. He would never break a promise once given.” Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, and she took a deep breath.
An anguished expression came to his face as he watched her. “Isabella, I…”
Fighting the sob rising in her throat, Isabella swallowed and for a second closed her eyes. When she opened them again, a single tear spilled over and ran down her cheek.
As though he had no control over his limbs, Robert’s hand reached toward her face. Gently cupping her cheek, his thumb skimmed over her skin, brushing away the tear.
For a moment, his hand lingered, and Isabella held her breath.
Then, as though slapped, he withdrew it, nervously glancing around. “I apologise. I shouldn’t have done that.” Shaking his head, he looked at her. “I should go before…” Nevertheless, he stayed. His feet didn’t move, and neither did his eyes leave her face. “Charles is lucky to have found you.” Gritting his teeth, he took a slow and painful breath. “I am certain you will find him a good husband, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.” He slightly bowed his head at her, a longing smile flashing over his face before he turned and walked away.
Forcing herself to remain where she was, Isabella stared after him as her heart broke into a million pieces with each step he took.
Chapter Four − A Moment of Truth
Long after the music had stopped and the guests had taken their leave, Robert sat in the ballroom, a glass that seemed to refill itself as if by magic in his hand. No one to chastise him, Robert quickly downed its contents again and again, not daring to think about what he was doing, much less what his brother and his new bride were doing at this very moment.
And yet, despite his best efforts, images would float into his mind, tormenting his soul in a way he had never thought possible.
What had happened that day? Who was that woman? How did she have such power over him?
Only this morning, he had awoken, delighted to spend a few days in his brother’s company, see his childhood home again and then return to his travels. He hadn’t even made up his mind where to go next. He never did. He never made plans. He always went where the winds would take him, ending up in places he had never thought to visit.
And now, he was sitting in the dark, working his way to a drunken stupor, which he would regret come morning, and sulking over the sick sense of humour fate obviously had.
Notorious Norwood had finally fallen in love, and as if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, it was with his brother’s wife for God’s sakes. How could he? How was this possible? It had taken all but one look into her dark brown eyes, and he had lost his heart to her. Never in a million years would he have thought this possible!
As he reached for his glass again, footsteps echoed over from the doorway, and Robert spun around, almost losing his footing as the room began to spin. “Who’s there?” he drawled, hands gripping the table top.
“Drinking in the dark,” Charles observed, approaching the table. “What happened, Robert?” His eyes narrowed as he took in his brother’s miserable condition. “This is not you. Tell me what is going on.”
Chuckling, Robert returned his attention to the drink in his hand. “What are you doing here? Do you not have something better to…do? Or are you already tired of marriage?”
Pulling out a chair, Charles sat down, his forehead creased in concern. “Lady Gadbury and Adriana are tending to Isabella in her bedchamber. I do not wish to intrude too soon, so…,” he took a deep breath, and his nose crinkled as he smelled the stench of liquor emanating from his brother. “Talk to me, Robert. What has you acting like this?”
Your wife, Robert thought. The fact that she is your wife!
Instead, he mumbled, “Nothing. I am just celebrating my return.” Lifting his glass, he toasted his brother before once more downing its contents in a single gulp.
Yanking the glass from his grip, Charles stared at him. “For God’s sake, Robert, what has happened? Last night, you were in such high spirits. Nothing suggested this kind of misery you suddenly seem to find yourself in.”
Yesterday, I was happily oblivious!
“Robert, please!”
Hearing the worry in his brother’s voice, Robert took a deep breath. “It is nothing for you to concern yourself.” Forcing a smile on his face, he turned to look at Charles. “Today is your wedding day. Go. Be with your bride.” Nodding his head, he swallowed. “She is a wonderful woman. You have, indeed, chosen well. I should never have doubted you.”
“Thank you,” Charles mumbled. Robert felt his brother’s calculating eyes sweep over him as though he could see into his soul. Never had they lied to each other, always knowing deep down that no matter what if there was one person in the world who would understand, it would be the other.
“Fine,” Charles said, rising to his feet. “I’ll leave you to your own devices…for tonight.” Leaning on the backrest of his chair, he lowered his head, eyes meeting his brother’s, a hint of a challenge in them. “But tomorrow, you will tell me what is bothering you, do you understand? You will not leave here until I know what is going on!” His eyes narrowed. “And do not even think about sneaking away in the middle of the night!” He took a deep breath, his eyes betraying the anger he felt. “Robert, I swear, should you do so, I will hunt you to the end of the world. There is no place on this earth where I won’t find you. Do you hear me?”
Looking up and meeting his brother’s eyes, Robert smirked. “I love you, too, Brother.”
***
“Are you scared?” From far away, Adriana’s voice drifted to her ears.
Blinking, Isabella found herself staring at her own, rather pale reflection in the tall vanity mirror. Her sister stood behind her, brushing out her hair. “Where is Mother?” Isabella asked, glancing around the room.
“I asked her to leave because I wanted to talk to you,” Adriana said, setting down the brush. Taking her sister’s hand, she pulled her away from the vanity and next to her onto the settee. As their eyes met, Adriana frowned. “What is the matter? You seem different. Did you quarrel with Charles?”
“No,” Isabella whispered, unable to meet her sister’s eyes. How on earth was she to explain what had happened
that day? She couldn’t even understand it herself.
Never had she believed in love at first sight. No matter what her parents had told her about how they had met, deep down, Isabella had always thought that love developed over time. That day by day it would grow until it shone through people’s eyes. The idea of love at first sight had been nothing but a fairy tale to her. Something to inspire children to believe in the good in people. Something rakes used in order to seduce gullible, young women.
Was she a gullible, young woman? Were the feelings she was experiencing right now nothing but a short-lived infatuation? Would it pass within a matter of days?
Closing her eyes, Isabella shook her head.
“Isa, please,” her sister whispered, cupping both hands around her sister’s face. “You’re scaring me.”
Fighting the urge to let her tears spill freely down her cheeks, Isabella opened her eyes only to find her sister’s looking into hers, concern clouding their usual sparkle. Isabella swallowed and then drew up the corners of her mouth and tried to smile at Adriana reassuringly. “It is nothing,” she whispered. “I am just sad that from now on things will be different between us. We won’t be able to see each other every day.” A tear spilled over, and her sister brushed it away…just like Robert had not too long ago.
Shaking her head, Isabella pulled back, trying to focus her thoughts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Dear Sister,” Adriana objected, her own eyes now shining with unspilled tears as well. “I will miss you, too.” Shaking her head at herself, she sighed. “I didn’t even realise it before. I was so busy trying to convince you that you were making a mistake in choosing Charles. However, now that you’re actually married to him, I feel like my heart is breaking.” Dabbing a handkerchief at her eyes, Adriana tried to smile. “I suppose my objections to you marrying Charles were never really based on him not being the right man for you but rather on him taking you away.” New tears spilled forth. “I am sorry I tried to ruin this for you.” A sob rose from her throat, and Isabella pulled her sister into her arms, smoothing back her hair.
“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered. “You didn’t ruin anything. I do understand your motives, and I am glad you feel this way. You mean just as much to me, and I am very sorry that we’ll have to part ways now.” Pulling back, she looked into her sister’s eyes. “But I promise that we’ll see each other often. Maybe not every day but as often as we possibly can. Let’s not be strangers, all right?”
Adriana nodded her head vigorously. “I promise.”
Chapter Five − A Heart Stolen
After her sister left, Isabella felt exhausted. The emotional turmoil raging within her finally took its toll, and her eyelids began to grow heavy. Nevertheless, she couldn’t just go to sleep and pretend nothing had happened. Her husband would soon come to her chamber and…
Taking a deep breath, Isabella stood by the window looking out at Bridgemoore’s gardens. The night shrouded them in black, but the moon’s silver light shone with such a magical force that it seemed like a million fairies were up and about, flitting in and out of the shadows.
Goosebumps rose on Isabella’s arms, and she rubbed her hands over them, up and down, to chase them away, but it did not work. After all, it was not the cold that had brought them on but a trembling that rose from the depth of her being.
Shaking her head, Isabella wondered. Was she nervous about sharing a bed with her husband, whoever he was? Or would she be just as nervous if it was Robert she were waiting for?
Remembering how his dark eyes had looked into hers and had touched something deep within her, Isabella sighed. For a second, she closed her eyes, once more feeling the touch of his finger as it had skimmed away her tear. Goosebumps had risen on her arms then, too, and yet, she had not felt like this. She had not felt the desperate wish to get away and return to the life she had known before.
What was she to do?
There is nothing you can do, her voice of reason whispered. You’ve made your choice.
When the truth finally lay before her, Isabella broke down. Tears streaming down her face, she sank to the floor. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she rocked back and forth like she hadn’t done since she had been a child. Hopelessness crushed her heart, and guilt invaded her soul.
Lost in her misery, she didn’t hear the door opening. Neither did she hear her husband’s footsteps as he rounded the bed and found his new bride weeping on the floor. Only when his strong arms picked her up, did she realise that he was there.
Too ashamed to look at him, she buried her face in his shirt and wept, unable to stop herself.
Not saying a word, Charles carried her to the bed and sat her down. Then he wrapped a blanket around her and pulled her back into his arms, holding her tight and whispering words of comfort.
For a long time, Isabella clung to him as if to a lifeboat saving her from the depths of the ocean. Her tears flowed freely, soaking his shirt as well as her nightgown. His arms never ceased their hold on her. Patiently, he rocked her, smoothing back her hair and whispering in her ear as though comforting an infant.
When her heart was finally cried out and her tears stopped, Isabella took a deep breath and tried to sit up.
Reluctantly, Charles released his hold on her. “Are you all right?”
Sighing, Isabella lifted her eyes to his, feeling the heat of embarrassment burn in her cheeks. “Thank you,” was all she could say in that moment before her eyes dropped and her fingers busied themselves with the hem of her nightgown.
Leaning forward, he tried to look into her eyes. “Did I do something to upset you?”
As though slapped, Isabella’s head shot up. “No! No, you didn’t.” Shaking her head, she stared at him, new tears threatening to spill forth. “Please, don’t think that. It is not you.” A shy smile came to her face. “You’re wonderful. Truly wonderful.”
He returned her smile. “If it is not me, can you tell me what happened? What has you so upset?”
Isabella drew in a sharp breath. She couldn’t possibly tell him, could she? How would he react? What would he do?
Knowing that it didn’t matter, Isabella sighed. This was her fault, not his. He deserved an explanation, some kind of explanation. At the very least, he deserved more than a weeping wife on his wedding night!
“I’m sorry, Charles,” she began, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “I never meant for this to happen. I never thought it could. I never…I never…”
Warm hands wrapped around hers, chasing away the chill that had them trembling. When she looked up, dark eyes so full of understanding and compassion looked into hers that Isabella almost lost control once again. How could she have done this to him?
“You’re a wonderful man, Charles, and when I agreed to marry you, I thought we could be happy together,” she began, not at all certain what to tell him.
He drew in a sharp breath, and the hands holding hers tensed. “What are you saying? You don’t believe we can be happy together anymore?”
Closing her eyes, Isabella bit her lip. “I am such an awful person for doing this to you, but−”
“Doing what? What are you saying?” He dropped her hands, his voice apprehensive as he regarded her with suspicion in his eyes.
Focusing all the courage she could find, Isabella raised her gaze to his. “When I agreed to marry you, I believed with my heart and soul that this was what I wanted. I really did. I swear.” She swallowed as a deeper understanding slowly began to cloud his eyes. “But then something happened. I…”
“Someone stole your heart,” he whispered, closing his eyes, unable to look at her.
Shocked at his words, Isabella stared at him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
His lips pressed into a thin line, and she could see the tension gripping his shoulders. His hands clenched and then unclenched before his eyes found hers once more. A sad smile flashed across his face then, and his head sa
nk. “No one ever does.”
“I’m so sorry, Charles. I don’t know what to do. Maybe these feelings will go away. I hope they will. I don’t want them. I…”
For a long moment, he looked into her eyes as though trying to read the truth in them. Then he sighed and shook his head. “After my mother died, my father never even considered remarrying. As children, Robert and I didn’t understand why, but he always said that love was forever.” A sad smile on his face, he nodded. “If you ever truly lose your heart to someone, you can never get it back. It is no longer yours, and whether or not that is wise does not matter. This is one choice we cannot make for ourselves. One choice that is made for us.”
Hearing his words echo in her mind, Isabella realised how true they were. Deep down, she did not believe that her feelings were a mere infatuation. Deep down, she knew that she loved Robert; that she wanted him as her husband, not her brother-in-law.
Yet, here she was; in her bridal chamber sitting beside the man she had chosen to marry. Looking at him now, her heart broke all over again as she saw the sadness and disappointment clinging to his gentle features. All of his hopes had been dashed in one night. Just like hers.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Charles asked. “Before, I mean. I would not have held you to your promise.”
Smiling at him through a curtain of tears, Isabella nodded. “I know. I just…” I didn’t know then, she finished her thought, knowing she could never tell him. After everything she had done to him, she could not destroy the love he felt for his brother. No, she would never tell him who had stolen her heart minutes after she had given him her hand. Sighing, she shook her head. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know,” Charles whispered, his eyes distant as though he didn’t see her anymore. “I think I should go.” He rose from the bed, a sad smile playing on his lips as he looked at her. “Get some sleep. You must be exhausted.” Stepping back, he drew in a deep breath. “I need to think about…”