The evening turned into night and the night turned into morning bringing with it a rapping on the front door that woke him. He sat up and cleared the sleep from his eyes the best he could. His tired legs and feet felt like they were working against each other as he tried to get them to cooperate with each other. He reached the front door and opened it with a shrill creaking.
A young girl stood on his front porch. Although he was certain that she was not much more than fifteen, her face was etched with what he could only describe as, aged heartbreak. Her pale grey eyes, hollow and lonely, gazed up at Nathan with uneasiness. She carried herself as a broken race horse whose days of glory were long forgotten and the future was the preverbal glue factory.
“Can I help you?” Nathan asked politely.
“Is Pastor Bill here?” She responded with a tone that anticipated a negative response.
“Um,” he looked inside to make sure Bill hadn’t let himself in while Nathan was asleep. “No, I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen him today.”
“Ok.” The young girl lowered her head and began to leave.
“Wait.” Nathan said stepping onto the porch. “Are you alright?”
“As good as I deserve, I guess.” She said softly.
The hopelessness that such a statement carried with it was not just a red flag in his eyes; it was more like a thousand screaming banshees swarming down on them and he instinctively knew he had to protect her. His whole life had been about only getting by, but now he was unable to resist the impulse to shield this young girl from whatever demons were chasing her.
“I can call him if you like and see where he is.” He wasn’t sure exactly what to say but he was convinced that he needed to keep an eye on her and leaving her alone might not be a good idea right now.
The young girl agreed and Nathan went back into the house to retrieve his cell phone, “Can I tell him your name?”
“Amanda Scott” she spoke so soft he barely could make it out.
He dialed the number but it went to voicemail after a few rings. “Hey Bill, its Nathan. I have a young lady here that needs to talk with you. Her name is Amanda. Call me back when you get this.” He closed his phone and stepped back out on the porch. “Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll wait for Pastor to call back?”
“I better get going. I don’t want to waste your time.”
“Waste my time?” Nathan snickered. “You are not a waste of my time.” Her expression showed skepticism. “No, really, I do that pretty good on my own. I laid on the couch last night and… I think it was last night. Anyway... and just slept all the way up to when you knocked.”
“I’m sorry.” She said desperately. “I didn’t know you were sleeping.”
“Actually I should thank you. I would have wasted another day sleeping and doing nothing worthwhile if you hadn’t come by. Besides, good company is always better than sleeping on an old couch.”
“I don’t know how good my company will be.”
“Well,” Nathan acted as if he was sizing her up. “I’m willing to give it a shot.” The girl’s lip lifted slightly. “So what brings you to my house looking for Pastor?”
“I talked to him two days ago and he said that if he wasn’t at the church he might be here.”
“Ya, he visits quite a bit.”
“Do you go to his church?” She asked.
“I haven’t but I’m planning on it this Sunday. How about you?”
“I try but I can’t seem to make it there.”
“Really?” Nathan said trying to keep things light and friendly. “I have a hard time getting up that early on a weekend too.”
“Oh, I get up, and I get ready and I’m usually there early, but I just can’t go in.”
“So what’s holding you back?”
She thought about it for a second or so. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ok. I’m sorry. I just thought I might be able to help is all.”
They sat in silence waiting for Bill’s call and then she asked. “Do you believe in a god?”
“Nathan smiled and looked into the girl’s face. “I believe in God. Not just a god.”
“Then if God does exist, why is there so much bad stuff in the world?”
Nathan was almost anticipating the question, so he thought about it and how to answer it without sounding like he was patronizing her. “I guess the easiest way to explain it is by looking at school. There are a bunch of students that go to school, some get good grades and some don’t. There are those that go out after school and party, they don’t study, they don’t participate in class and therefore they get poor grades and are typically trouble makers. Then there are those that stay home and do homework, get involved in class and get along with other students. These students typically get good grades and are prepared for life after school.
The teachers, like pastors, do what they can to instruct and guide each student and prepare them, but if the student doesn’t take the initiative to do their part, they will fail. Now, can we blame the principal for the students that choose to be troublesome and not follow what the teachers are teaching?”
“Ya, but the principal doesn’t have ultimate power. Doesn’t God have the ability to stop it?”
“One person that someone might see as a troublemaker might be viewed by me as a good kid that just needs help. However, if that student gets expelled for his behavior, then we lose the chance to correct his behavior. So, as long as people don’t allow God in their lives, there will always be bad people doing bad things. And as long as these people are alive, they can change and be saved. God is loving and forgiving, even when we are not.”
“Saved?” Amanda sighed. Do you really think that bad people can change?”
“When people let go of the bad influences in their lives like drinking and drugs and even destructive relationships, I believe that they can change. Have you ever noticed how many people in prison, even after they have done horrific things, find God?”
“So it’s our own fault that there is so much pain and misery in the world?”
“Ya, you can say that. But it is also us that create so much good too. When we become a friend to someone that needs a friend we are adding goodness into the world. When we forgive those that do us wrong, we are stopping the hate and anger in us so we can start doing good things. And when we choose to focus our attention on things that will help others we plant a seed in them to do the same. God gave us the earth and all that is in it. He is a father, not a warden.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple, but it’s almost never easy.”
Amanda’s face went blank. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“The act of walking away from a hurtful relationship is simple, you turn and walk away. See simple. But, leaving the emotional attachment behind takes a lot of work and will power, and that’s not easy.” Nathan leaned in a little closer and softened his voice, “The trick is realizing that you deserve better.”
Amanda cocked her head somewhat, “Have you been talking to Pastor Bill about me?” Her attitude gave the impression of offence.
“No, not at all.” Nathan said surprised at the question and tone.
“Then how could you have known about Dalton and me?”
“Who?” Nathan asked.
“My boyfriend. Or now I guess my ex-boyfriend.”
“Is he a destructive relationship?”
“Not always.” She said. “He has his moments. He’s very sweet and kind when it’s just us, but sometimes when we’re out with his friends; he acts like I’m not even there.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
“Ya, but he says it’s all in my head and I need to stop being so childish.”
“So did you break up with him or something?”
“He wanted me to do something and I said no, so he said he didn’t want to be around me anymore and I said fine and I left.”
/>
“Well, if you didn’t feel comfortable doing what he asked you to do, you have every right to leave. If he doesn’t respect you and your decisions, then perhaps this is for the best.”
“But I don’t want to lose him. I love him.” She cried.
“Are you sure that you're not just in love with the idea of him?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well it doesn’t sound like a pleasant young lady such as yourself is truly happy being treated the way he treats you. But maybe you feel it’s better than being alone.” Amanda didn’t reply, so Nathan continued. “Don’t you want more? Don’t you want to be someone’s Juliet, or Cinderella, or… You get the point.”
“Those guys don’t exist anymore. At least not for a girl like me.”
“I don’t believe that for one second. Maybe you’ve just been looking for your knight in shining armor in a pile of old scrap-metal.”
The lazy idle of Bill’s truck arrived seconds before the truck itself. As he pulled up to the curb and got out he noticed that Amanda and Nathan were setting on the porch. “Hey guys…” he called waving as he approached the porch. “What did I miss?”
“My call.” Nathan blurted out. “And boy am I glad you did.”
“Oh really,” Bill said kiddingly.
“Absolutely! I have had the most wonderful time with my new friend.”
Amanda grinned and almost blushed, “Ya, me too.”
Bill wasn’t sure what to make of this but he was happy to see a bit of life back in Amanda’s eyes. “Well I’m sorry I missed out.”
“I need to get going.” She said getting to her feet.
“Ok then. Thank you for the conversation and saving me from wasting my day. Come by anytime.”
Thank you Mr. Foster. I will.” Amanda walked between the two men and off of the porch.
“That’s the happiest I have ever seen that girl. What did you say to her?”
“Nothing much. But I think she heard more than I said. Want some coffee?”
Chapter 16