I stepped in front of Caroline so she couldn’t get between us, and Blondie leapt forward to drag her away. But Ham wasn’t having anyone near his woman, so he hovered over the two girls, while Milk Tits and Buttercup tried to usher the babies and two youngest Gambles into the house, except Colton and Brandt refused to go. Aspen darted out the back door and skidded to a halt to cover her mouth with her hands.
“Damn it,” Gam roared, managing to glare me down as he struggled against the three men. “Let me go. I just want to kill him.”
“You can’t kill Ten,” Pick explained, sounding strangely levelheaded for a moment like this.
“Yeah, why don’t you have him sleep with your sister behind your fucking back and say that to me again.”
I growled at him. “I’m not just sleeping with her, fuckface. We’re actually dating.” I glanced toward Caroline, who was covering her mouth with both hands and watching us from worried eyes. “We have been for a couple months.”
“Dating? Are you kidding me?” Noel turned his attention to Caroline, too. “How many dates has he taken you on?”
She blinked at him, obviously not understanding. “What?”
He rolled out his hand, encouraging her to talk. “How many times has he taken you out to eat? To the movies? Dancing?”
“That’s not fair.” I shifted toward him, balling my hands into fists. “We couldn’t do any of that shit because of you.”
“Yeah. Whatever. The truth is you’re no better than Sander Scotini.”
Oh, that fucker. He just had to go there, didn’t he?
Rage flooded my veins. But what hurt more than hearing he thought I belonged anywhere in the same category as that worthless pussy was that I agreed with him. I hadn’t been fair to Caroline. I’d hidden our relationship in fear of the consequences, in fear of Noel finding out. I’d been just as big of a pussy.
But I pushed all my blame on Gamble.
“You bastard,” I roared right before I charged.
Hamilton wrapped an arm around me from behind and picked me up off my feet, while Hart, Pick and Lowe regathered their efforts to keep Gamble at bay.
Still pissed as hell, I struggled in my roommate’s impenetrable hold. “Take that back! I’m nothing like that piece of shit. I actually love her. And the only reason I didn’t tell you sooner was to protect her, because I knew you’d fucking overreact, and she’d get hurt. I mean, fuck! Just look at her.”
I didn’t know she’d started to sob, but I could feel it in my bones. And yep, when I glanced over and pointed a finger in her direction, the tears were streaming down her face as she clutched Blondie for dear life. It tore a hole through me.
“Damn it,” I rasped, my voice breaking. “We’re making her cry.”
“Noel,” she sobbed. “Please.” The pain in her eyes killed me. I just wanted to strangle Gamble and make him see reason.
He squeezed his eyes closed as if trying to block out the effect her pleading had on him. Then he gritted his teeth and shook his head.
“It’s not his fault,” she begged. “I tricked him. I snuck into his room in the dark when he was expecting someone else.”
“Oh, fuck...me.” A sickened revulsion clouded his face. “You’re Midnight Visitor.” He turned to me and pointed accusingly at his sister. “She’s Midnight Visitor?”
“He had no idea it was me,” Caroline said.
Gamble snorted. “Oh, I bet he didn’t.” His gaze narrowed on me as if he knew better.
“He didn’t,” Caroline cried in self-righteous defense.
“Actually,” I admitted with a sigh as I glanced guiltily up at the sky. “I did.”
“What?” She spun to me, her mouth falling open. “No, you did not.”
I looked her straight in the eye. “Yeah...I did.”
She blinked. “No...no, you didn’t.” Except she suddenly didn’t look so sure. “But...y-you got mad at me when you finally found out. You were...pissed because I’d tricked you. I forced you to betray your best friend, remember?”
I shrugged. “I still knew. I mean, you called me Oren. You forgot to disguise your voice too many times, and...fuck, you smelled like you. I knew it was you. I just...denied it.”
Confusion seized her expression. “What do you mean you denied it?”
“Easy. I told myself it wasn’t you. Knowing it was really you would’ve made it wrong, and I didn’t want it to be wrong, so...I convinced myself it wasn’t you.”
She shook her head, unable to believe my statement. “How the hell do you do something like that?”
“I don’t know, but I can. I did a damn fine job of denying the fact I had a twin sister who died a horrible death four years ago, now didn’t I? I’m like the king of denial.”
“You had a twin sister?” Gamble’s jaw fell open and his eyes grew wide, but I was too busy staring at Caroline to pay him much mind.
She gave another confused shake of the head. “But...if you knew it was me, then why didn’t you stop me?”
I laughed softly. “Because it was you.”
As her lips parted, realization lit her face,
I was so intent on watching her expression I didn’t realize Gamble had broken free of Lowe, Pick and Hart until he shoved me. I went sprawling across the yard until I lost my footing and landed on my ass in the grass.
“You fucking prick!” he roared. “First, you’re fucking my sister behind my back, and now you have some twin I’ve never even heard about? It’s like I don’t even know you. And why the hell are you guys holding me back like you’re trying to protect him?”
He shook away Pick, Lowe and Hart when they tried to restrain him again.
Pick held up a calming hand. “Noel, man. You just need to calm down.”
“Calm down?” His mouth fell open before he looked down at me where I was keeping myself planted on the ground and then back to the men around him. “Holy fuck,” he breathed. “You really are protecting him. He betrays me, and you take his side. Thanks, guys. Thanks for having my back.”
“It wasn’t about siding with you or him,” Hart spoke up. “Caroline wanted him, and he treats her right, so...” When he shrugged, Noel narrowed his eyes.
“You say it like you’ve known about this for a while.” His eyes flashed wide. “Holy shit. You’ve known about this for a while. How the hell many of you have known about this?” When he glanced around, everyone lowered their gazes. A sound of denial crackled from his throat.
A worried-looking Colton glanced up at Brandt. “Does this mean we have to give back all the money Ten paid us to keep quiet?”
Gamble shook his head and laughed hollowly. “And you even paid off my brothers? Nice, man. Nice. Next you’ll be telling me my own wife knew.”
When Aspen shifted a step back, he zipped his gaze to her. She covered her mouth with her hands, and his eyes flared wide.
“Oh God,” he croaked. “Aspen?”
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head as if to deny it even as she kept apologizing. “I’m so sorry. But Asher’s right. He made her happy again. Caroline was so sad when she first came here, and then suddenly, she was happy. Ten...he’s good for her.”
“Yeah, he just so fucking great. He had to sneak her around like a cheap, dirty slut that she’s not, but no...he’s awesome.” He spun away and stalked out of the backyard.
Aspen buried her face in her hands and started to cry. As Brandt and Colton moved to comfort her, Caroline tore herself away from Blondie. She hurled herself at me, and I caught her around the waist, then buried my nose in her hair. “Are you okay?”
“No. Oh God. How could I be okay? He was so mad. Did you see how mad he was?”
“Yeah. I saw.”
When tears fell from her eyes and she sniffed, I lost it. Anger infused me.
Why did he have to go and be like that? Didn’t he even care I was who Caroline wanted? Or try to find out if I was any good for her or how I treated her? I was supposed to be his best fucking friend, an
d yet he so easily assumed I was another Sander Scotini.
Well, fuck him.
Unable to help myself, I untangled my arms from her. “I’ll be right back.” After kissing her hair, I raced after Gam.
He was striding down the sidewalk away from his place when I caught sight of him in the front yard.
“Hey!” I yelled.
He slowed and gradually turned around.
“I’m supposed to be your best friend. Why is it so awful to think of me being with her?”
“Because I know you! I’ve known you since the first day I came to this town. And in the four years I’ve known you, not once have you ever shown a single iota of respect for any woman.”
“What the fuck ever. I respect plenty of women. What about your wife?”
Noel barked out a harsh laugh. “Oh, yeah, you respected her enough to hop onto a coffee table and ask a crowded room full of her students if she liked to dress up in schoolgirl clothes so I could play the professor. That was so respectful.”
Fuck, maybe Shakespeare had been a bad example. “Man, I was drunk.”
“She ended up getting fired from her job, and the coach posted a topless picture of her on the locker room wall.”
“Okay, fine.” I lifted my hands to shut him up. Shakespeare was definitely a bad example, no matter how much I’d made up with her.
I changed tactics. “What about Ham’s woman then? I let her fucking move in with us.”
“Oh, you mean the girl you went on a date with where you got her drunk for her first time until she was flirting with a guy who was already dating someone else and then ended the night by puking up her guts in the club’s bathroom. Yeah, great example.”
Fuck, I really wasn’t going to get anywhere with him, was I? I thought of my sister, and uncertainty filled me. The one girl I’d loved more than anything, and I’d failed her; the worst thing in the world that could possibly happen to her had happened. Who the hell did I think I was to try to be anything to Caroline?
Stomach churning, I took a step away from Gamble. “So what did I do to Caroline, then?”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe I even had to ask. “The fact that you had to hide what you had with her and didn’t even have the balls to let me know about it tells me everything I need to know. She’s just not that important to you.”
“That’s complete bullshit. She—”
“She wouldn’t have become your dirty little secret if you’d been open about it from the very beginning. That’s all she was to him too. That first prick who knocked her up. She was just his trailer-park-trash dirty little secret. And you’re making her go through that all over again. If she’d meant anything to you, you wouldn’t have gone behind my back, you wouldn’t have hidden your so-called feelings. You would’ve fought to be with her openly instead of sneaking around like a fucking coward.”
“Jesus, man.” I shook my head. “If this is the way you’ve always thought of me, then why were you ever my friend?”
“Because I’m not a woman. It never bothered me what you did to complete strangers, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want you to become involved with a girl who’s important to me.”
I shook my head slowly. It was enlightening to learn what some of the closest people in my life really thought of me. And not in a good way. I didn’t know what to say to him. Not even one of my stupid, smart-ass comments came to mind. It felt as if he’d just handed me my ass and no matter how I tried to reason it in my brain, I didn’t belong with Caroline. I didn’t deserve her. I’d never treat her right, and if I really cared about her, I’d stay away.
But the very idea made me want to puke.
Not sure what to even do, I just turned away and walked off in a strange daze.
Fear crowded my stomach like a noxious gas, giving me a painful case of indigestion. It was hard to even function I was so scared.
Last week, I’d been hurt. Every time I’d thought about Oren, I’d envisioned him with a new girl in some awful kinky position, and agony had wracked me until I was dizzy with it. So I’d stayed away to protect myself, to heal, and get over my own pity party.
I’d spent a lot of time with Zoey, helping her deal with her pregnancy fears, and I’d begun to calm down. Then I began to miss him. But I also grew uncertain because I wasn’t sure how to approach him and apologize for running off and doing exactly what I’d promised him I wouldn’t do.
Seeing him in my brother’s yard today had been a blessing as much as it had been terrifying. It’d been too long since I’d seen him, talked to him, kissed him. I wanted to run over and tackle him, drag him to my bedroom and have my wicked way with him. But then the nerves had instantly knotted in my stomach because I didn’t even know how I was supposed to face him after I’d left him last week. I’d been so ashamed of myself for letting my tender little feelings get the best of me.
Ignoring him had seemed like the only option until he’d forced my hand, until he’d made me look into his eyes and face the truth. He’d missed me too. He’d hurt without me.
From that point on, everything spiraled out of control. I hadn’t been able to let him think I didn’t care. Noel hadn’t been able to stay away, and he’d tried to keep us apart. And Oren hadn’t been able to step back and be meek about it; he’d yelled right back at my brother, making everything explode.
When he’d chased after Noel and then didn’t return to the backyard when Noel did, I knew they’d had more words.
“Gamble,” Pick started, but Noel held up a hand. “Why don’t all you backstabbing motherfuckers get out of my yard? The party’s over.”
“Does he mean us too?” Colton asked Aspen.
“No.” Noel pointed to them. “You guys...inside.”
Aspen was pale as she ushered Brandt and Colton away. I grabbed my brother’s arm. “Noel.”
He wouldn’t even look at me. He shoved his palm in my face. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, too bad.” I tightened my grip. “This isn’t going to go away just because you want it to.”
He glanced at me, his jaw stiff and eyes flashing. “Caroline.”
But I didn’t heed his warning. “I did this,” I said. “I started it. I came on to him multiple times before I had to resort to trickery and sneak into his room.”
Wincing, he turned his face away. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“Tough shit,” I growled, giving his arm a yank. “We’re talking about it. I pursued him, and I wasn’t going to stop until I wore him down and he eventually gave in, because I love him.”
“Love?” Noel sneered and shook his head. “You have no idea, little girl. I’ve seen what you thought love was, and it ain’t even close.”
Sucking in a pained breath from that jab, I closed my eyes briefly, but then I looked up at him, steeling my resolve. “I know you totally lost faith in me a year ago. I know you thought I became something that couldn’t be trusted with my own heart, but believe it or not, I actually learned from my experience with Sander. And Oren is nothing like him.”
Noel snorted and shook his head, not believing me. I yanked on his arm again. “I’m serious,” I said. “He may not have taken me on a conventional date, but he was more considerate and attentive than I ever could’ve imagined a boyfriend could be. I never started a day without some kind of message from him, letting me know he was thinking about me. He took me to Rainly Park and even showed me a hidden waterfall there.”
When my brother shot me a startled glance, I nodded. “We did all kinds of things in the apartment with Quinn and Zoey. He even introduced me to his parents.”
Noel glanced around the yard, probably to send Quinn a scowl of betrayal, but all our friends had left, respecting his wishes.
“Honestly, the only person we didn’t tell was you.” As Noel fumed, I lifted an eyebrow. “Why do you think that was?”
Shaking my head, I left him in the backyard to stew. Then I hiked to Oren’s apartment. But when I didn??
?t find him there, Zoey let me borrow her car to drive to his hometown. I wasn’t sure how I knew he’d go to his place, but I just knew.
When I reached it at dusk, he was sitting by himself, his arms wrapped around his knees as he watched the colorful sunset.
He didn’t acknowledge me as I sat beside him, so I didn’t say anything either.
“Did you listen in on the conversation I had with your brother in the front yard?” he finally asked, turning his face to consult me.
I shook my head. “No. They kept me in the back while you two were supposed to iron it out. But you didn’t iron it out, did you?”
He laughed softly. “Not even a little.”
I reached for his hand. He didn’t pull away, so I tightened my grip around his fingers. “What did he say to you, Oren?”
“Oh, you know...” He blew out a breath and returned his attention to the sunset. “He just verbally bitch slapped the shit out of me with a couple of hard-to-accept truths.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m no good for any woman, least of all you. And if I ever cared about you and wanted what was best for you, I’d let you go to find someone else who deserves you a hell of a lot more than I do.”
“So then...” I shook my head, not sure what he was trying to say to me. “It’s over between us? Because of what he said? You’re letting me go? Just like that? After you promised me nothing he said could break us apart.”
“Damn it,” he muttered as he spun to me. “Since when do you know me to do what’s best for anyone else? I do what makes me happy, with no care how it affects those around me. And what I want more than anything is you.”
“Then why did you just leave me there?” Tears filled my eyes without my consent.
“I didn’t—fuck.” His expression flashed with worry. He reached for me and tugged me tight into his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking. I’d just lost my best friend. I wanted a few minutes to myself. I just...I thought you knew none of this had changed anything we have.”
I clutched his shoulder and buried my face in his neck. “Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything right now. I don’t know up from down, if my brother hates me or forgives me, if you...” My voice choked up, and he pulled me tighter against him before he grasped my chin and made me look up at him.