waving with a strained half-smile. Jessica opened the door and came in, hugging Erica as only a best friend can.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” Jessica began. “I heard him drive off, are you okay?”
Erica nodded, but she repeated through the tears, “I just don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Maybe if I lost some weight and got in better shape...”
“Don’t you talk that way,” Jessica assured her, “I know college girls who would kill to look like you, you’re beautiful. Brian’s problem has nothing to do with you.”
“Then what?” Erica asked.
“He’s an alcoholic, Erica. He’s sick.” Jessica went on, “Brad’s going to talk to him tomorrow, he’s had enough too.”
“He’ll listen to Brad, won’t he?” Erica sounded optimistic.
Jessica just smiled and hugged her friend again, but her smile couldn’t hide her uncertainty. “You’re going to be fine sweetie,” she said, trying to sound confident. “You’re going to be just fine.”
VERSE 3
(The Story of Kat Driggers)
Kat was looking forward to this Sunday’s service; the praise team was doing some of her favorite songs. She was also looking forward to the Night of Outreach that evening, although it would have been even better if the weather would cooperate so she could wear some cuter clothes. All in all there was reason to be optimistic about the weekend.
Katherine Driggers had been born with a ‘silver spoon’ so to speak; her parents were wealthy 2nd-generation business owners. Driggers Clothing stores dotted the region where they lived, boasting stores in twelve counties and growing every year. Kat was the third generation in the business, and although she didn’t really need the money, she worked regular hours to give her something to do (and to justify the stipend her parents regularly gave her). She had loved fashion ever since she was little, and her main responsibilities for the business included choosing the new styles the store brought in each season. She stayed on the cutting edge of the industry whether it was for the family business or not, and her industry savvy had been a great benefit to the company.
Although Kat had always been aware of the latest fashions, she hadn’t always dressed like it. When she was in high school, she actually dressed fairly conservatively. That was when she was dating Robert Smith from the Smith’s Grocery chain. Robert was a lot like Kat in his upbringing, but he was more involved in the day-to-day of his family’s business - even in high school. Robert liked the money that came with his family connections and he tended to flaunt it. Unlike Kat, Robert would wear Tag Heuer watches and Prada or Gucci shoes. He was a mover and shaker who started his image addiction in high school and just got worse over time.
Kat remembered when they broke up. It was in the spring of their senior year of high school. Kat had walked into school and seen a couple of other high school girls with Robert, talking and giggling. When they saw her, they immediately changed their expression to something more somber and walked away, but Kat noticed Robert’s eyes following them as they left, and it was in a way she didn’t think was entirely appropriate.
“See anything you like?” she asked.
“Come on Kat, don’t be like that…” Robert replied.
“Like what?” she said. “Like I don’t appreciate my boyfriend ogling other girls?”
Robert sighed. “Those girls don’t have half the money you do,” he started, “but dressing nice is clearly a priority for them. Why do you dress like you hope nobody notices you?”
“Robert, we’ve gone over this before. YOU are the only one I care about noticing me. Do I need to dress like THAT to make you happy?” Kat fired back, motioning to the girls who had walked away, but who had now congregated a little closer with this current scene developing.
“Like ‘that’? Kat, you are so pretty, but you dress like you want to be…” Robert trailed off as if searching for the right words to say and not finding them.
“What?” Kat said, louder now. “Ugly?” The girls from before were now giggling at the drama unfolding.
“Shhhhh…” Robert chided. “Come on now, we don’t need to cause a scene.”
“Robert,” Kat began, “I just have one question for you.” She looked over at the girls from before and finished, “Do you want that or do you want this?”
Robert looked over at the girls, then looked back at Kat. “What do you mean by ‘want’?” he said.
Now Kat sighed. “You know, someday I’m going to meet a guy who wants me just the way I am.” She looked over at the other girls and added, “I hope you find a girl who you want just the way she is.”
Kat walked away toward her class, and as she passed the other girls, whose giggling had stopped, she said to them, “He’s all yours honey.” Although she went through the motions of school for the rest of the day, her mind and emotions were obviously far away. She kept telling herself, “The next man I date will have to want me for who I am, not who he wants me to be.”
She really didn’t have much time to date after that though. Kat had her family business to attend to, plus graduation to prepare for and her father had gotten her into a very prestigious music school. The breakup was probably a blessing in several ways, not the least of which was the time it freed up for her to devote to the other things in her life.
But what if Robert was right? Growing up in church, Kat had always been told that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. But what if her conservative attire was turning boys off? She had always thought those girls that Robert liked to look at were ‘trying too hard’. She had always thought that playing a little ‘hard-to-get’ was a good thing... but the boys sure seemed to like those other girls. What was it about those girls?
And so it began... with shoes.
One evening that summer, Kat was wearing her normal attire to work: conservative-length skirt, a blouse with a vest and flats. As she was putting up a display with some of the new fall fashions, she saw a red pair of heels. These were not the burgundy red that she would sometimes wear, but they were fire engine red. And the heels, she was sure those would be difficult to walk in… but they were kind of cute.
Kat looked at the size, and then looked around to see if anyone was watching her. Nope. She stepped out of her navy flats and slid on those red heels. The first thing she noticed was that she was markedly taller, and that made her feel a bit more confident. The next thing she noticed was that she had to basically stand on her toes in them, which made her look a little like a fawn learning how to walk. As she awkwardly made it over to a mirror, she giggled at her reflection. Kat looked around once more to make sure no one was looking, and then looked back at herself in the mirror. Smiling, she rocked her weight onto one hip and pushed her shoulders back while tousling her hair. She started to pucker up her lips, but then started laughing at the whole scene and lost her balance - just barely catching hold of a shelf to stabilize herself.
Kat slipped out of those heels and placed them back in the display, but her hunger had been aroused. She went over to the women’s shoes department and found where here size was, then she searched for something she hadn’t searched for before (at least not for herself). She found the red pair from the display, but thought out loud, “Let’s start with a little shorter heel, shall we?” The next shelf down, she found a pair in the same color red, but with a more manageable heel. Kat slid them on and went back to the mirror. As a smile slowly came to her lips, Kat knew that her footwear style was about to take a dramatic turn. She went back to the shoe shelves and grabbed similar shoes in several colors. As she took them up to the cash register and set them on the counter, the cashier raised an eyebrow.
“Those are a little… aggressive, aren’t they?” the cashier said.
“You should have seen the pairs I put back, Mary Lynn,” Kat replied.
The cashier ran Kat’s credit card and bagged
up the shoes. Then Kat said, “I’ll be right back” and took the bags out to her car where she locked them in the trunk. She then returned to the store and finished her displays.
That fall when Kat went off to music school, her clothing addiction took various other turns. The more comfortable she got in heels, the higher the heels got. By the time she graduated, Kat could jog in a pair of six-inch stilettos. While her skirts also got progressively shorter, she was still conservative enough to wear tights underneath. And while her tops got progressively tighter, she was still conservative enough to not reveal cleavage - Kat had her standards.
But while the interest from the boys increased, it didn’t affect Kat the way she had thought it would. She thought she would adore the attention, and date a whole lot more. It seemed just the opposite was happening though. While Kat liked the attention, she knew that it was for all the wrong reasons, and it caused her to turn down nearly every young man who asked her out. She wasn’t bold enough to ask out the ones she liked, and for some reason they seemed to be afraid to ask her.
Kat returned to her hometown after graduating music school, even though she could have gone to Nashville or L.A. to pursue a music career. She employed her vocal skills at the church she grew up in, and went back to helping with the family business. As the years passed and she entered