Was that how his brother felt? His hands tied, unable to do something that was so strongly in his heart?
Cody took a long breath and gathered his determination. He would get dressed—khaki pants and a polo shirt, so his buddy wouldn’t feel out of place. He’d take his brother out to breakfast and on the hike they’d planned for today. But first, before they stopped at Denny’s for pancakes, he would do what he should’ve done a long time ago.
He would take Carl Joseph to church.
THEY WERE HALFWAY to Denny’s when Cody made a turn onto the main highway. His heart felt lighter, happier than it had felt in weeks. In years, even. He drove through the suburbs and toward the downtown area. The closer they got, the more he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Carl Joseph didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until Cody pulled up in front of the downtown church, the one where the field trip had taken place.
Then he stared at the building and his mouth dropped. He looked at Cody and swallowed. “That’s not Denny’s.”
“No, Buddy.” He pulled Carl Joseph’s envelope from beneath the seat and handed it to him. “I thought maybe we should go to church first. That way you can give Jesus your gift.”
Carl Joseph gasped. He had always been emotional, easily moved to tears, though in the last few months he seemed to have outgrown dramatic shows of his feelings. But here, now, Carl Joseph stared at the envelope and his eyes filled with tears. Once more he gave Cody a curious look. “You mean, it’s okay, Brother? My gift is okay?”
“Yes.” Cody struggled with the lump in his throat. “It’s a beautiful gift.” He looked at his watch. “But we’d better get inside. Service is about to start.”
The message that day was as if God Himself had spoken it straight to Cody’s heart. It was about trust and worry, and how it was fruitless to be anxious about tomorrow. No one could tell the future, the pastor said. “We can only trust God and follow His lead throughout this journey called life. Then when the end comes, we will have nothing left to do but celebrate.”
The idea filled Cody’s entire being. Trust God every day, so that in the end—whenever that was—there would be a celebration, not a wake. Joyful memories, not painful regrets.
And wasn’t that Ali’s message from the beginning? People died tragic deaths all the time. The point wasn’t how a person died. It was how a person lived.
Cody watched Carl Joseph, the way he knelt and stared earnestly, reverently at the cross up front. Cody struggled with relationships and love, with knowing what his next season in life should be about, and with where God fit in his life.
All the areas where Carl Joseph didn’t struggle at all.
When the offering plate came around, his brother took the folded envelope from his pocket, kissed it, and placed it tenderly on top. Then he looked at Cody and grinned. And from somewhere up in heaven, Cody could almost feel God grinning, too.
THEY EACH ORDERED a Grand Slam breakfast, and Cody realized he hadn’t enjoyed his brother this much since he’d come home from the rodeo circuit. They talked about bus routes and field trips and Daisy. A lot about Daisy. When the meal was over, though he debated it, Carl Joseph decided against the strawberry milkshake. “Ice cream isn’t a healthy choice.” He shook his head. “Not very healthy.”
“No.” Cody stifled a smile. “Water’s probably better.”
“Probably.”
The waitress brought the check and set it at the edge of the table. She was older, their mother’s age maybe. Already Carl Joseph had explained that Cody was his brother and that they were just returning from church.
“The pastor said to trust God,” he told her when she came to clear their plates. “Do you trust God, waitress?”
Cody was about to interrupt, apologize for his brother’s behavior, and let the waitress off the hook. People didn’t come out and ask questions like that, not of strangers, anyway. But before he could say anything, the waitress patted Carl Joseph’s hand.
“I do.” She gave Cody a knowing smile, as if to say they made a nice picture—two brothers sharing a meal this way. She turned back to Carl Joseph. “I trust Him every day.”
“Good.” Carl Joseph stopped short of clapping, but he was clearly overjoyed that the waitress understood this truth about God.
Again Cody was taken aback. He folded his hands on the table and gave a slight shake of his head. The more he thought he knew about life, the more Carl Joseph redefined it. What was wrong with talking about God, anyway? Carl Joseph’s question had given the waitress a reason to smile even in the middle of a Sunday late breakfast rush.
After she left, Carl Joseph took the check and studied it. Cody watched him and wondered again about Elle Dalton’s offer. Could he take the next season of his life and devote it to working with adults like his brother? Today, the way Carl Joseph was relaxed around him, made him think it was possible.
He took a twenty from his wallet and set it on the table. Carl Joseph was still studying the check. “Brother?” Carl Joseph had the check in one hand, and the money in the other. “You need more.”
“What?” Cody took the check and looked at the total. Fourteen dollars, eleven cents. “But I put a…”
Carl Joseph held up the bill. “This is a ten, Brother. You need a twenty for the food we ate. ’Cause Grand Slams aren’t cheap.” He laughed at himself. “That’s why they’re Grand Slams.”
Cody was stunned. “How did you know that?”
“I learned it.” He grinned and laughed at the same time. “Teacher taught me.”
Elle again. The girl with the beautiful eyes and sensitive heart. The one he couldn’t wait to spend an afternoon with. “I like your teacher, Buddy.”
A quiet laugh came from him. “I know you do.”
“What?” A smile pulled at Cody’s lips. “How do you know?”
“Because”—he laughed again—“I just know. ’Cause standing close and smiling at her. A lot of smiling.”
“Okay.” Cody was laughing now, too. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “But it’ll be our secret.”
“Good.” He clapped quietly. “I like secrets.”
Long after breakfast and into the rest of the day, Cody felt a peace that hadn’t been there since he returned home nearly two months ago. He and his buddy were friends again, that was much of it. But also, the pastor was right. Life really was a matter of trusting God every day so that when it was all over, there wouldn’t be sadness over a mountain of regrets.
There would be a celebration.
The sort of celebration that was about to take place on a simple hike with friends.
Chapter Twenty-three
Cody and Carl Joseph would be there in an hour. Elle couldn’t find her hairbrush, so she went down the hall to Daisy’s room. Her mother and sister were in Daisy’s bathroom, working together to put curlers in her fine blonde hair.
Elle stood in the doorway and raised an eyebrow. “Did I get the memo wrong? I thought we were going on a hike.”
Daisy peered over her shoulder. “It’s a date.”
“Oh, it is?” Elle loved this about her sister, her feisty independence, knowing her own mind before anyone could speak for her.
Their mother sent a helpless look back at Elle. “Daisy told me it was a date. She wanted her hair curled.”
“It’s a date for you, too, Elle.” Daisy grinned in the mirror. “You and Cody.”
Heat filled Elle’s cheeks. “It’s not a date for us, sweetie. We’re only going along for fun.”
Daisy stared at her for a few seconds. “It’s a date.”
Her mother gave her another look, and there was no denying the twinkle in her eyes. “I don’t know, Elle. Maybe you’d better curl your hair.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She gave an exasperated breath. “You’re a big help.” But even as she said the words, her heart reacted to the possibility. She forced herself to stay matter-of-fact. Daisy was wrong. This wasn’t a date for her and Cody Gunner. They’d discussed nothi
ng of the sort.
Still, if Daisy could curl her hair, Elle could at least wear a nicer pair of shorts. She ran back to her room and changed both her shorts and her shirt. Was it a date? Was that how Cody saw the afternoon hike? She doubted it. He’d made himself clear when they talked about his Ali. Cody never expected to love like that again. Never wanted to. And Elle was the same way. At least that’s what she’d always told herself. Now, though, she had to wonder if her heart had a different agenda altogether.
When she was happy with her look, she left the room to rejoin her mother and sister. As she left, the faintest hint of perfume lingered behind her.
THEY WERE AT a stoplight, and Carl Joseph stuck his head out the window and peered at himself in the side mirror.
“Brother… can you help me?”
Cody stifled a smile. He’d never seen his brother so concerned with his looks. “What’s up?”
Carl Joseph looked in the mirror again. “I look wrong.” He turned an empty expression to his brother. “How come?”
The light turned green, and Cody shrugged. “I think you look perfect.”
“Good.” Carl Joseph hiked up his pant leg. “I wore my best socks ’cause Daisy is my best friend. Best and best, Brother.”
“See?” Cody patted his shoulder. “You’re just perfect.”
“Yeah, ’cause I tell the best jokes. That’s what Daisy says. Also I might ask her to Disneyland. ’Cause I might entertain her at Disneyland.”
“Let’s do the hike first.”
“One thing.” Carl Joseph held up one finger. “Can we pray? ’Cause this is a big day, Brother, and we have a lot of driving and we have Daisy and Elle and we don’t want to get lost. ’Cause also prayin’—”
“Is a life skill.” Cody smiled at him. “I was just going to say the same thing.” He kept his eyes on the road and one hand on Carl Joseph’s shoulder, and he prayed a prayer about protection and direction and open hearts and trusting.
And then, silently, he asked for one more thing.
That God might calm his nerves sometime before they reached the Dalton house.
ELLE HADN’T BEEN this nervous as far back as she could remember. She paced to the front window, peered down the street looking for his truck, and then paced back into the kitchen. “No sign of him.”
“He’s not supposed to be here for five more minutes.” Her mother was making a cup of tea. “Right?”
“Cody’s always early.” She smoothed her jean shorts.
“Elle Dalton.” Her mother’s voice was low. “You’re falling for him.”
Daisy was at the sink filling a water bottle, and she didn’t seem able to hear their conversation.
Elle stared at her mother. “What in the world gives you that impression?”
“The way you’re acting, all flustered. I haven’t seen this from you since…” She stopped herself. “I haven’t seen it in a long time.”
“That’s because Teacher likes Cody.” Daisy turned around and twisted the lid onto her water bottle. “Right, Teacher?”
“Daisy…” There was a warning in Elle’s voice. She raised her brow and looked straight at her sister. “You can only call me that in the classroom.”
“Okay.” Daisy danced around in a circle, twirling and doing a slightly awkward pirouette. “Elle likes Cody.” She shrugged and gave their mother a silly look. “Cody likes Elle, too.”
Elle could feel the entire day unraveling into a disaster. “You’re wrong, Daisy. And please don’t say anything about that today, okay?”
Daisy held her finger to her lips. “Shhh. Not a word.” She grinned and then danced her way into the front room. “I’m waiting for CJ outside.”
“Great.” Elle fell into the nearest chair and stared at her mother. “Did you have to ask in front of her? She’ll talk about it for sure.”
“No she won’t.” Her mother pulled the tea bag from her steaming cup and tossed it into the trash. She gave Elle a pointed look. “Daisy’s the one who told me. A week ago, Elle. All that time and she hasn’t said a word to you or Cody.”
“Really?” Elle felt herself relax.
“Yes.”
Elle thought about her sister. Of course Daisy would’ve seen this a week ago. Hadn’t they all learned ages ago not to underestimate Daisy’s perception, her understanding of social settings?
There was a sound at the door, and Elle jumped up. She grabbed her backpack and kissed her mother on the cheek. For the briefest instant she hesitated, her eyes locked on her mother’s. “What if you’re right?” she whispered. Her heart beat in double time. “What if you’re both right?”
Her mother smiled and took her hand. “Then you pray for wisdom and proceed with caution.” She squeezed Elle’s hand and then released it. “And you thank God for breathing new life into that very special heart of yours. Even if it all amounts to nothing.”
ELLE WAS WILLING to sit in the backseat with her sister, but Daisy made a fairly dramatic show of pointing to the passenger seat, the one next to Cody. By the time Elle slid in next to him, Cody was hiding a sympathy laugh.
“Don’t worry about it.” He looked in his rearview mirror at Daisy and Carl Joseph. “They’re just excited.”
“It’ll be fun trying to keep them focused enough to stay on the trail.” Elle sat back in her seat. The inside of his truck reeked of cologne, and she sniffed a few times.
“It’s my brother.” Cody aimed his thumb toward the backseat. “You know… two capfuls of cologne.”
“Ooops.” Elle winced and allowed a quiet laugh. “We haven’t talked about that in our social graces class.”
Cody blinked, as if his eyes were burning from the smell. “When you do, Carl Joseph can be the poster boy.”
They both laughed, and Cody turned up the radio. It was a country song by Lonestar, and Elle found the lyrics fitting. Something about how the Lord gave people mountains so they could learn how to climb. If that were true, she and Cody should be experts by now.
She looked at Cody, but only for a moment. She was keenly aware of every move he made. The muscles in his shoulders as he turned the wheel, and the details of his handsome profile. She’d Googled him last night and found that Cody Gunner was definitely a legend in bull-riding circles. One Web site said, “To this day, no one has ridden a bull the way Cody Gunner rode. He is bigger than life in and out of the arena, and it’ll be a long time before someone else takes his place.”
Indeed. That’s what she was sensing from him today. The larger-than-life part. Being in his presence here made it hard for her to breathe. And yet for all his professional reputation, the world didn’t see what she’d seen. What he’d let her see on a starry night sitting on a bluff at the far end of his parents’ ranch.
They reached the parking lot, and when they climbed out Elle was suddenly aware of Cody’s height. This was the first time she’d been around him in anything but high-heeled shoes.
“Ready?” He gave her a quick grin and then patted his brother’s back.
“Ready, over and out!” Carl Joseph saluted.
Daisy laughed and did a salute of her own. “CJ, you’re so funny!”
Elle mouthed the words, “Oh, brother,” for Cody’s benefit. Then they set out for the trailhead.
For the first part of the hike, Cody took the lead and Elle brought up the rear. She wanted to make sure there were no problems with Daisy and Carl Joseph keeping to the trail or falling behind. After an hour they found a clearing and took a break. Carl Joseph and Daisy walked over to a patch of clover.
“Over here, CJ. I have a new move for you.”
“Dancing in the clover!” Carl Joseph clapped and bounced a few times. “ ’Cause I like dancing in the clover.”
“Yeah, but this is a dance move from class, CJ. So come here.”
Carl Joseph went to her, and Daisy started the impromptu lesson.
“They love to dance.” Cody bit into an apple and handed a second one to Elle.
She took it and thanked him. “Yes. Sometimes I wish when we do the addition to the facility, we could add a dance room, too. That way they could see themselves in the mirror.” She angled her head and looked at their siblings. “That could help a lot with body control, just knowing how they look.”
Cody sat on a chair-sized boulder. He was quiet for a minute, staring at Carl Joseph and Daisy. Finally he drew a long breath. “They look pretty happy.”
“They do.” She was standing a few feet from him. “Thanks, by the way.”
“For what?” He took another bite of his apple.
“Bringing Carl Joseph today. I’m sure the doctor wasn’t crazy about the idea.”
“No.” A sad smile lifted Cody’s lips. “But he told us we couldn’t protect Carl Joseph from everything.” He turned to her. “My parents are thinking about talking to the other doctor, the one you recommended.”
Elle felt a surge of hope. “That’s what we’re praying for.”
“Good.” He patted the spot next to him. “Sit down. We won’t have another rest until we reach the top.” He grinned. “The planner of this hike’s a real taskmaster.”
She laughed and sat next to him. As she did, her arm brushed against his, and the sensation made her dizzy. She gave him a teasing look. “We can go slower if you can’t handle it.”
“No, no.” He held up his half-eaten apple. “My one lung’s better than two of yours. Don’t worry about me.”
“Ugh.” She dropped her head in her hands. How come she hadn’t thought of that? Here she was pushing Carl Joseph and Daisy up the hill, encouraging them to keep the pace, and she hadn’t once thought about Cody’s limitations. She peered at him through her fingers. “I completely forgot. I’m sorry.”
“Nah.” He dropped the pretense and patted her knee. “I’m fine, really. Just teasing. I went a whole season of bull riding with one lung. I can certainly hike up a mountain.”
“I guess.” She still felt bad, but before she could say anything more about it, Daisy and Carl Joseph began waving at them.