I ground my body into him more. I liked him a lot more, and missed him a lot when he wasn’t around. His kisses and his touch electrified me throughout, and the closer he got, the more I wanted this.
“Oh god, now you’re the jerk,” he said. His hips rocked forward and he kissed me again, harder. He reached up again, touching my breast, massaging it in his hand. He broke the kiss to whisper against my skin. “You have to stop. I’m...” He sunk his face against my shoulder, nipping at my neck. I ground against him harder and faster. He gripped me firmly, his fingers pressing almost painfully into my flesh. His hips gyrated up against me and his cock between us started to throb. He groaned heavily. “Shit.”
I stopped, moving, letting him hold tight to me as he came.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. The boys weren’t the only ones to have been waiting to get close. Now with all the affection, it was like my body was in overdrive. For the moment, I was happy, because I was sure that I did like him. I wanted to tell him this, especially now.
He eventually settled and wrapped his arms around the shoulders, drawing me close to him. He kissed my face, over and over, around my brow, my eyes. “Give me two minutes. I’ll get to you. I won’t leave you hanging. I would never just…” He backed up, looking at my face. “Bam...Kayli, I’ve never gotten this excited over any girl. I was wondering if you were still even interested in me at all.”
“Why?” I asked, melting as he moved against me still a little. He was catching his breath, and he promised to get to me after he recovered and I loved that he was concerned enough to want to keep going. I couldn’t help but smile at that, excited and anxious. Plus, I wanted to know his feelings and he was opening up.
“Raven’s been talking about you a lot,” he said. “I don’t know, I got the feeling...” He rubbed his nose against mine and then kissed my lips. “Maybe just Russian talking...I don’t know. It’s not like you’ve done anything but sleep for weeks. I shouldn’t listen to him.”
Raven had been saying things to him while I had been sick? I wondered what and what Raven might say to Marc now.
I pressed my lips together. Thinking of Raven left guilt hanging over me, and I looked at the stairs, considering what I should do. No matter how close I got to one, I simply couldn’t forget the others. Was something wrong with me? Never before would I have considered dating more than one person at a time, and yet each one of the guys had qualities I desired, including Axel and Blake. Again, I was worried about their feelings, and my own. I tried leaving to get away, and couldn’t do it. I tried staying and getting to know them a bit better to see if one stood out from the others. I only ended up with stronger feelings for all of them. “Marc,” I said quietly. I wanted to stay with him, but I was also nervous. “I want to stay with you here, but Blake could be back at any moment.”
“Do you want to get dressed?” he asked. “I don’t want to go yet either, but we should get out of this water. I can follow you into the locker room if you want. Maybe...maybe tonight you and I can share the bed.”
I wanted that, but I also didn’t want to just get into something very sexual and not get to know more about him. Sex was good, but I wanted more. “Marc...”
“Yeah?” he said, picking me up gently and guiding me, letting me stand on his feet as he moved toward the steps.
“You said to slow down before.”
“I did.”
“Maybe we should. I mean not slow down really, I just mean…I don’t want this to be just about sex.” I wasn’t sure yet I was ready to say a steady relationship, but I wanted to at least date. I thought that was what was wrong with Axel and me. We went on one date but then he never came around really again. Marc and the others at least kept trying.
He looked up from the water to my eyes. “Shit,” he said. “Look, I didn’t mean to move so fast. I know it’s...we’ve been sort of...”
“Hey,” I said. I pressed my palms to his cheeks, squishing his lips a bit. I kissed him quickly. “I’ve been missing you, too.”
He smiled at this, looking weird with his lips squished. He twisted his head, kissing one of my hands until I moved it. “We’ve got five days on this cruise,” he said. “Maybe we’ll go out to dinner one night. Maybe a movie. We can slow things down a little.” He leaned his head close to mine. We bumped into the stairs. My butt landed on a step, and he put me down, kneeling with his knees on either side of my hips. Our chests were still in the water. He held onto my thighs, holding himself to me. “Tell me I didn’t just ruin things.”
“No,” I said, surprised he’d blame himself. I was just as eager and kept things going. “Marc…I…” I wanted to tell him as much, but my brain wasn’t coming up with how to say it in a cool way.
“I felt bad about arguing with you yesterday. I didn’t really...I know I sounded like an ass.”
“I just wished you’d told me about the calls.”
“I wanted to tell you,” he said. He kissed my lips and then backed his head away and smiled. “Maybe it’s good that I didn’t. We might not have ended up on this boat.”
Who knows what would have happened? I might have been able to save myself from Axel and the boys fighting with each other. Would I have gone back to sleeping, not knowing Blake and the others could be in way over their heads trying to save the city?
I sighed, thinking of going back to talking to guests and what we were there for, dreading the thought. Maybe staying in the bath wasn’t such a bad idea. I was more tired than before, feeling weak. I didn’t think I was up to facing any more of the Nightingale team.
Suddenly, a wave of cramping started in my gut, clenching my insides tight.
The pain was worse than before. I pushed Marc aside, bending a little, pulling myself up out of the water, covering my breasts with one arm and my abs with the other, unable to cover myself fully. I wanted to run to the locker room, but I only my body up far enough so I could double over and hold on, trying not to move.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. He took my knees, holding them. “Kayli?”
“Cramping,” I said through my teeth.
“Like earlier? Brandon said you were sick.”
I winced, gritting my teeth against the pain. No nausea, just cramping. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I cried out. “It just keeps happening.”
“I should get you to the doctor,” he said.
“It’ll go away.” I pushed at his arm. “Just give me a few minutes.” I wasn’t sure if that was true. This was the third time today? Maybe I was starting my period…or my uterus or other organs were exploding. No position I could find felt comfortable. If I stayed still, it hurt but it was barely tolerable.
Marc remained close, hovering. “What can I do?”
I moaned, and flipped over, my knees on the step, my stomach in the water, my back exposed. I held my stomach, keeping a hand on a step, and crawled up. Every move was painful, but I had to hang on, or I was going to let go and slip into the water again.
I flopped onto the patio out of the water, naked, on my side, curled up in the fetal position. The building and fence shadowed me from the sun above, making me cool. I wasn’t sure if it was helping or not.
Marc crawled out of the pool to hover over me again. “Kayli,” he said, his voice soft, helpless. He touched my shoulder, massaging it. “Do you need medicine? What do you need?”
“I don’t know,” I cried and then discovered I really was crying. My emotions were out of control. My pain tolerance was completely gone. The stress, the fear, it all came crashing around me at once. Blake had gotten hurt. Axel was emotionally wounded. The boys were fighting. I was a wreck, a crazy sobbing mess on the patio outside a spa, bent over in pain. The cramps had set me off.
“Oh god, sweetheart. Bambi.” He scooped me up by my shoulders, picking me up to put me in his lap. He coddled me and rocked. “Don’t do this to me.”
I couldn’t stop myself and he was making it worse. I was crying hard, almost hurting m
yself with the racking sobs, and it piled on with the pain in my gut. And then I was crying hard at being so embarrassed that I was crying and I couldn’t stop myself. The crying was making the cramping worse. The vicious cycle continued.
He bent down, kissing my face over and over again. I couldn’t stop him or do anything other than cry and clutch at my abdomen. He picked his head up, sniffing hard. I wasn’t so sure he wasn’t crying, too. “Okay,” he said. “That’s it. We’re taking you to the ship hospital. Or to our hospital. We can’t do this if you’re like this.”
I groaned, jumping headlong into another crying jag. Embarrassment added to my emotional frenzy. I wanted to tell him I didn’t want to, and yet I couldn’t breathe in enough air to do anything else other than cry. What was happening to me? I’d never melted down like this before.
Marc picked me up, holding onto my back and under my knees. We were both naked and dripping. I clung to him, wanting to tell him we should get dressed first. “I...you...” I gasped, unable to get more out.
“Hang on, my heart,” he said, turning toward the shower room.
“What’s wrong with her?” A voice said, almost booming at us. “What’s happening?”
I stiffened in Marc’s arms, causing my cramping to worsen. Breathless, I parted my eyelids to find Axel coming at us. I closed my eyes again, unable to deal with him now.
Marc held onto me firmly. “Get out of the way,” he said. “She’s got those cramps again.”
Axel spoke. “Just give her to me. Get dressed.”
“I’m not letting go. Just let me run down there. It isn’t that far.”
“You can’t just walk naked with her,” Axel said, the command in his voice. “Giver her to me. Get a towel. I’ll take her.”
I sucked down a breath, pushing the glasses up on my head and wiping at my eyes. Axel was right.
There was a jumble of echoes coming from the locker room on the women’s side. Male voices. Plus a woman crying that they couldn’t go in. I wiped at my face, clearing my tears so I could see. Marc stepped back, pulling me into his body, holding on, and Axel moved in front of us, looking around, spotting the towels but then faced off with the hall from the locker room as the voices got closer. “Get her a towel,” Axel said.
Marc aimed to get it, but not before people started flowing in and he stopped to hide me behind Axel.
“Axel!” Brandon emerged from the locker room first, followed by Corey. Raven and Blake trailed behind them. They all stopped, spotting me, naked, wet and crying, clinging to Marc. Jaws dropped. Hands clenched.
“Get out of here,” Axel called to them all.
“No,” Brandon said, marching forward, the others following up behind him.
Blake circled around, coming up behind Marc while the rest of them split between Marc and I and Axel, separating Axel from us.
Brandon stepped up to Axel, face as red as I’d ever seen it. “I told you we’d take care of this.”
“Avery said she was hurt. That something was wrong,” Axel said, his voice deep. He spoke through bared teeth. “This isn’t the time. Let’s just get her out.”
“We’ll get her out, like we said we would. We’ve asked you nicely to ease up on her,” Brandon said. Raven was at his shoulder, standing firm, his arms crossed over his chest, creating a barrier.
“I told you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know what I heard,” Brandon said.
I clung to Marc, afraid. They’d all come in. Avery must have heard me complaining about the cramps and told them.
“What the hell is going on here?” Marc said, his voice wavering. He stepped sideways, shifting me to get a better grip. He was strong, but he couldn’t hold me up forever.
A towel draped over Marc’s shoulders, then over me. Blake appeared in front of me, reaching. “Let’s get her out of here,” Blake said. “She doesn’t need to see this.”
Marc hesitated but then released me to Blake. He covered himself up with the towel and then helped Blake adjust the towel over me. Once I was covered, Marc pushed him toward the door. “You know the way?”
“Like the back of my hand,” Blake said, hurrying on. The boys were arguing amongst themselves. Corey tried to get in the middle. Marc followed us, until Brandon got really loud and then Raven started in, half in Russian, talking over Axel trying to tell them to back off.
I gasped, holding onto Blake, wanting to walk but I couldn’t. “I should...stay,” I said through sobs. This was so messed up.
“Take her,” Marc said. “Get her out. Take her to the doctor.”
“Already done,” Blake said.
Marc went back, yelling at the others to calm down, trying to help Corey in getting everyone to back off of each other.
I had no control now. Blake’s grasp was firm, I had no room to wiggle. All I could do was hold on to his shoulders as he wound his way through the ship with me wrapped in a towel.
My cramps were nothing compared to the ache inside me. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and I cried the entire way, blinded by tears. The only thing I heard was Blake breathing heavily as he carried me. They were together now. They would all know. All the secrets I’d piled up around them, the feelings I had. If they chose now to compare notes, they’d know.
Marc might admit to what just happened. Raven might talk about that morning. Axel might say he kissed me and I’d kissed him back. Even Brandon might be ready to talk about all the things we’d done before.
I felt so stupid. How could I toy with their feelings? How could I be so selfish? After everything they’d done for me, pulling me out of the gutter, offering to help me to find work, to better myself, to help with Wil... and I couldn’t be honest with them about how I felt. So what if I was confused, attracted to each of them for their different qualities. Now I felt stupid keeping it a secret.
I’d assumed before that if I could just figure it out on my own, which one I liked better, that it would solve everything. I wanted to give them a flat out honest answer when I figured it out. I went too far though. If I’d told them my confusion right from the start...maybe they would have been hurt, but would they fight like this?
Blake said nothing the entire way. I wondered if I’d hurt him, too.
Maybe I’d die of these cramps, and I’d save everyone the trouble.
RECUPERATION
The hospital was more like a nurse’s office at school, only with more equipment, and a separate room for emergency procedures. I sat on a table, looking at bandages and gauze in secured jars on a counter. The nurse weighed me and then made Blake leave while I waited for the doctor. I don’t know how my weight was relevant to this, but she seemed to be going through a routine and writing down notes.
I covered myself in the towel from the spa until the nurse provided a gown. I tried to calm myself before the doctor came in to see me. The cramps had already gone, becoming just a dull soreness.
The doctor was an older Asian man. He checked my pulse, asked me questions about my period, and then offered me a pill, a muscle relaxer. He said it would make me sleepy. He said the cramps were probably due to stress, but if I developed other symptoms, that I should come back and see him.
“She should probably get some sleep,” he said to Blake once he came in to collect me.
“I’ll make sure she does,” he said, and shook the doctor’s hand.
By the time I was done, Blake had some clothes for me, items he’d bought in the shops, a brightly colored sundress, underwear and a pair of flip-flops. “Something simple to go back down to the rooms in,” he said. “I know it isn’t your style.”
I didn't know where my glasses had gone. I lost them back at the spa. After I got dressed and we left the office, I buried my face into Blake’s shoulder nearly the entire way down to the rooms. I couldn’t look at anyone. I thought for sure everyone on the ship knew what had happened, and they could see through to how I’d been naked and stupid and made a complete fool of myse
lf. I wasn’t crying anymore, but I was still a complete mess. There was no way I could face anyone now. Forget the mission. Forget everything. How could I help anyone else when I was a stupid girl who couldn’t control her feelings and was selfish to want to draw their attention?
Barely out of the gate on this mission, and I’d probably destroyed the team. What kind of leader was I?
Blake led me down to my room. I was surprised he brought me there, but then, I wasn’t sure where else to go, either. I was just glad that the boys weren’t there.
He had a key for the door. He opened the door for me and I kicked off the flip-flops and went right for the bed. It had been made up, the maids had been by or the boys had cleaned it so they wouldn’t go in here.
I pulled the blanket aside and got in under it, pulling it over myself. I dropped my head onto the pillow. My eyes were sticky, raw and cold, tapped dry of tears. My heart was hollow.
I could have buried myself into the mattress for breaking down in front of the boys. No doubt it flared a lot of the anger amongst them. You can’t just cry in front of boys. It makes them crazy. It’s the dirtiest of all girl tricks and I’d never dared to use it in my life. This one time I couldn’t help it, and they all came rushing in at the same time, my tears making it worse since they were already fighting.
Now even Marc had to be caught up in the fight. They hadn’t been by the hospital to check up on me. They weren’t here now. My darkest assumptions repeated themselves my head over and over: they hate you now, they know you’ve flirted with them all, they’re done, they don’t want to see you, and they don’t care how you are.
A sorry, exasperated sigh escaped my lips. “I hate my life,” I said.
Blake closed the door and locked it, then made sure the bathroom door was closed. He crawled over the covers and scooted up behind me. He put his arm under the pillow, and the other around my stomach, spooning into me. He kissed the back of my head. “I’m sorry, Kayli,” he said quietly.