The room was dreadfully silent for about one single second. Everybody was in a frozen state of shock. Oliver often had that effect on an audience.
“You did WHAT?” Ana screeched as she tossed her biscuit into the air. It landed in my father’s tea, causing the hot liquid to splash on to the back of his hand. He wiped it absently with his serviette, looking at Oliver as if he had explained the situation by a using combination of mime, baton twirling and smoke signals.
I could hear my sister from the doorway where she stood with Alexander. I swear she couldn’t help herself. If she was more than ten inches from him she had to somehow find a way to get closer, “What’s the big deal?”
What was the big deal? I could feel myself edging toward a full on panic attack. Oliver and I sat across from his parents and my father, exactly in the spot I had wanted to avoid being in. I gripped Oliver’s hand tightly for support as I was certain I was about to pass out. I didn’t want anyone to hate me, but just the same, Oliver was my husband now. He still smelled like soap mixed with clean earth and burned wood and I wanted to leave quickly so I could kiss him violently and endlessly and be his wife in every sense. I wanted to go back to the cabin in the wood and never see anybody but him ever again. I was still afraid that his parents would realise that the marriage was not legal and force the issue of the fake consent, even after Oliver had assured me that they wouldn‘t. I was sure they could have us annulled in about ten seconds. I was afraid to return to school as well because I knew they would never let us be together and I would have to lie alone in that dormitory full of girls who suddenly seemed like children to me.
My heart was thumping painfully. I looked at my husband and him at me. “Let’s run away,” I begged desperately with my eyes, “Now, Oliver… ready…one…two…three…RUN!”
He got my message, but instead of hurdling the sofa our parents sat on and running out the garden door as if our lives depended on it, he winked at me.
He turned slowly back to his mother, “I said,” Oliver’s voice was calm, although it did give away a hint of irritation at even having to explain again, “That Silvia and I got married the Sunday before last.”
The room was silent again. I could hear the clock. Tick, tick. Tick, tick. And the sound of a car whizzing past outside. Wiiiiiiiiiissssssh. Suddenly his mother’s Pekinese startled and made a sound as if she had swallowed herself whole. Alexander gave her a soft nudge with his foot.
All three of our parents stared at us with no idea at all of how to react or what to say.
“Is he joking, Xander?” Ana asked hopefully, looking toward the doorway for support. I could see the ends of her blonde hair shaking, but she didn't give it away if she were trembling, “Be serious now, the both of you!”
“He’s not joking, Mum,” Alex answered glibly, resting his hand on Lucy’s head.
“Well,” My father finally spoke with the enthusiasm of a soggy green bean, “Why wasn’t I informed before you did this, Silvia? You could have rang! I might have liked to have seen my daughter married!”
Oliver’s mother was still staring at us, wide eyed with her mouth hanging open, bits of biscuit sticking to her bottom lip. She moved her mouth, but no sound escaped. Finally, she gathered herself and managed a look of stunned outrage.
Edmond however, was having little problem with the outrage. He absently wiped at his wife’s face to rid her of the crumbs, but got her nose more than her mouth. His face was becoming redder as he cleared his throat, “BLOODY HELL, BOY! WHAT MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? OLIVER ERIC DICKINSON!” His voice boomed painfully against my ears, “GETTING MARRIED? YOU’RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL, YOU KNOW! YOUR MOTHER AND I WAITED UNTIL AFTER COLLEGE! DIDN’T WE? WE DID THE RESPECTABLE THING! WE DIDN’T RUSH INTO ANYTHING! BUT NOT YOU!” He pointed a shaking finger at his son, “YOU AND YOUR MADCAP IDEAS! YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO BLOODY IMPULSIVE! RUNNING INTO THE STREEET AND PETTING STRANGE DOGS FROM THE TIME YOU WERE OLD ENOUGH TO WADDLE! ALWAYS JUMPING INTO THE DEEP END OF THE POOL WITHOUT A FLOATSUIT! YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO…SO…SO…” He seemed to be losing track of his thoughts. He paused with heaving breath and I swear he went burgundy before he shouted again, “RECKLESS! WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING? YOU’RE ONLY SEVENTEEN--”
He took a step forward and literally punched Oliver in the side of the head. His fist against the bone sounded like a thump on a coconut. I recoiled on to the couch and drew my legs up, trying to push myself away as he did it again. And again. And one more time.
“Ow! Fuck! Dad! Ow! Stop it!” Oliver, taken completely by surprise, did his best to defend himself with his arms and elbows.
“Dad!” Alex sort of shouted at the exact moment Ana cried, “Eddie! Stop!”
“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?” He bellowed. “I THOUGHT YOU HAD A BRAIN IN THAT SKULL OF YOURS!”
POP! POP!
“Eddie! Stop!”
“Dad! That's enough!”
“OW! DAD! DAMN! OW!”
“NOTHING BUT DIRT IN THERE! YOU IDIOT! YOU IMBICILE! YOU--”
Edmond stopped suddenly, a realization spreading across his heavy face. His great brown eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open as stupidly as his wife’s had a moment before. This time his skin went white. “You’ve really gone and done it now, haven’t you?” He asked quietly and then thumped himself on the head instead, “I should have known! All the time you spend together! And you swore to me you two hadn’t yet! Not in any rush, yeah? Oh! I would have expected this out of Alexander, but not you, Oliver! What fools we are! Ana, she’s got a muffin baking!”
“A muffin!” Cried my father, “House sitting she tells me and all the while she’s got a muffin!”
“What are you talking about?” Oliver sounded honestly confused, rubbing the knots out of his head, but Ana and Alexander obviously had gotten Edmond’s meaning because Ana screamed out loud in horror and Alex burst into a loud hoot which he swallowed as he covered his mouth with his hand and spun in a circle.
I sat there and cried.
Oliver looked at me, his dark brows nearly in a knot. Hand still pressed to his skull, his eyes begged me to explain why in the hell his father was talking about baking at a time like this. Then it dawned on him because his expression grew wide as the true meaning of muffins washed over him. He turned back to his father, “No!” He insisted, “She’s not pregnant!”
I felt my face turn as fiery auburn as my curly red hair.
“Are you sure, Dear?” Anna asked in a voice that sounded like it belonged to a mouse.
“Silvia’s never made any muffins that I know of,” Lucy was so innocent as she defended me from her perch in the doorway, “She can hardly re-heat steak and ale pie!”
That statement was too much for Alex to handle. He began to laugh so hard he had to remove himself from the room. His lack of control was contagious. I began to giggle, too, but Oliver had become completely irate. He rose to his feet, “I thought you people would know that I’d marry her sooner or later!” He said hotly, allowing the insult to show in pink splotches across his cheeks, “It appears you‘ve forgotten that I‘m eighteen now, Dad, not seventeen, and Sil will be eighteen in four days! So we got married and the lot of you can shove off if it doesn’t please you! It’s not like we needed your approval! We would have asked, but you’d have denied us and even then you couldn’t have stopped us! I love her! I’ve loved her forever! And she loves me! Sod you all!”
Edmond’s chin quivered, but whether it was in anger or relief, I could not say, “She’s not…not… er…you know…”
“Baking muffins?” My father finished.
“You’re sure?” Ana asked in that same small voice. “No muffins?”
Alexander roared from the kitchen.
“She is not baking anything! Nothing! No muffins!” Oliver didn’t sound quite as upset anymore, although he was still rubbing the back of his head. He turned just as his brother pushed open the kitchen door a crack and peeked out. Alexander mouthed, “M
uffins!” Bursting with silent convulsions and Oliver nodded, “I know!” laughing as well, the absurdity of the conversation finally sinking in.
He looked away quickly before he laughed out loud, still determined to appear upset, but he made the mistake of looking down at me. When Alexander shut himself in the kitchen, I had completely lost my composure. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did a little of both.
“Are you all right?” Oliver asked me so seriously that I burst into a new fit of giggles and tears. “Look what you’ve done to her, Dad!” He shouted at this father, this time looking prepared to fight back, “Screaming at us like a complete mental! Look at her! She’s beside herself!”
“It’s a good thing she’s not harbouring a muffin,” Alexander cleared his throat and sounded very stern as he re-entered the room. He leaned over the back of the sofa and gently massaged my shoulders, “Really, Dad! Look at her! She’s obviously very distressed!”
“Yes!” Oliver looked at his brother and then turned back to his parents. “How dare you shout like that! If she were pregnant you could have damaged our baby!”
“Upset the muffin cart!” Alex offered. “Way to go, Old Man!”
Oliver laughed out loud.
By this time all of the parents looked very confused. It was Ana who finally spoke, “We just want to be sure.”
“No,” Oliver turned to her “We promise. No muffins. We’ve only been playing at the oven a short while. If we did happen to manage to mix a successful muffin, we’ll let you know in a month or so. I mean, blimey! There are at least a few recipes to test! We need to experiment, you know? Buy a book or two, see how to mix it up. So far as I know right now I like apples myself. Silvia, however, seems to prefer bananas. It may end up we both like some other sort. We’ll have to see, won’t we?” He sat back on the sofa and gave my hand a squeeze. “But at any rate to make a decent muffin you got to have good nuts and berries, so we’ve no trouble there.”
Alexander was banging his fist against the wall, loud snorts escaping him. Oliver and I completely lost our composure and fell into each other’s arms, kissing through uncontrollable laughter.
“Muffins!” He said, “Bloody muffins!” And we both laughed harder. “Lord, I love you,” He mumbled. “Marry me again?”
“Nuts and berries?” I could hardly speak, “You’re such a turd!”
“I know!”
It didn’t seem to be quite as funny to our parents. Oliver had left all three completely speechless and feeling foolish. After a short silence, Ana spoke. She stood up, smoothed her skirt, and smiled a sincere smile, “Well, Dear,” She held her arms wide for me, “Come here! Congratulations and welcome officially to the family, even if it is a bit sooner than we thought!” She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, “We reckoned you two would get married one day! I have to make a nice supper then!”
“No,” Said my father, getting to his feet, “I’ll take us all out, how’s that? Come here, Son!” He yanked Oliver off the couch and crushed him to his chest, pounding on his back as if he were choking, “I always did like you!” He swore.
Oliver coughed.
Edmond was the last to speak. “All right then. What’s done is done. Congratulations, you two. I’ll phone Father Dominic and set up a blessing for your marriage. While I’m at it, I’ll call the headmistress at Bennington, but I can’t promise how she’ll react,” He looked at me carefully, “Silvia…if you were…you know…well, you know you could tell us. We love the both of you no matter what. We’d see you through.”
“Thanks, Eddie.”
“Silvia,” He smiled, “Don’t call me Eddie anymore. Call me Dad.”
More tears came to my eyes, but this time they were happy ones. I launched myself into Eddie’s arms and clung to him, “I love you, Dad!” I swore.
“I love you, too, Daughter!” He petted my hair, and then asked quietly, “Now you’re sure, right? Absolutely no muffins?”
“Get off it, Old Man!” Alexander slapped his father on the back, “I’m sure one day Ollie and Sil will have at least a dozen muffins, but not today. Speaking of muffins, I’m bloody starving!” He turned to my father, “Where you taking us, Phil?”
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was surreal having spent two wonderful, romantic weeks alone with my new husband and, upon announcing our nuptials, being scolded as if we were five years old by our parents, Oliver having his head practically pulverised, then being forgiven immediately, taken to dinner and dropped off at school by my father.
“Thanks for the lift, Phil,” Alex told dad as he got out of the passenger’s side of the car. He waited a moment for Oliver, Lucy and me to climb out of the back. “See you later, Sil,” He gave me a quick hug. When he looked at Oliver, his face was stone serious, “Let me know how it goes with Madame Pennyweather tonight.”
“I’ll see you at breakfast if not sooner,” Oliver replied as if he were not even concerned. “Night, Lucy Cotton!” He pulled her into a playful hug.
“Night, Oliver,” Lucy kissed his cheek, then mine, “Night, Silvia,” She gave her prettiest, sweetest smile to Alexander. “Are you ready to show a lady to her door?”
“A lady? You’re nothing more than a teensy weensy munchkin!” He teased. “I, however, am a gentleman and I will chivalrously escort even a munchkin to her door, lest some foul menace cross her path.” He held out his hand in a courtly manner, making a deep bow. She placed her palm in his and giggled. Alex kissed her knuckles, “May I have your arm, Milady?”
“Certainly, Milord!” Lucy slipped her arm through his. She looked over her shoulder at Oliver and me and giggled again as Alexander gallantly led her through the gate and on to the school grounds.
My father caught Oliver’s attention with a short wave. Ollie waved back and nodded as if to say everything was fine.
The moment the car drove away I started to cry again. Oliver pulled me close, “Why are you crying, Sil?” He asked tenderly just as it began to rain.
Headmistress Pennyweather came rushing out of the gate, “Oliver! Silvia!” She held an umbrella over the three of us, “I’ve been waiting for you! I need to speak to you both, please come in!”
She took us into the building and ushered us into her office. “Sit, sit,” She motioned to the chairs in front of her desk as she hurried behind it and sat in her own, “I understand you two were married,” She said with no hint of a smile, “I suppose congratulations are in order. However, this puts the three of us in an awkward position. You see, until I have permission from the board I cannot allow the two of you to co-habitate on school premises.”
I could not stop crying. It was as if someone was removing my heart with a spoon. I had felt no anxiety at all about being married to Oliver, but the thought of him being taken away was more than I could bear. I wanted to finish school, I truly did, but it seemed such a silly thing now to be living at a place where there were classes and schedules and other people’s rules. I was no longer a child. I had left that behind in an ancient, tiny cabin on a hill. I was someone’s wife now, a woman and I wanted…no, I needed… my husband beside me. They had no right…no right at all…to take him away from me. Yet I was helpless to stop them.
Oliver still had his arms around me, holding me close to his side as we sat in those awful straight-backed chairs. I buried my head into his chest and continued to sob hopelessly.
“You’ll have to sleep in your separate dormitories as you always have,” She clicked the top of her pen, “Naturally, you’ll have to attend and complete all your courses. And your free time is, as previously, your free time to spend as you wish,” She tilted her head, “Observing proper conduct, of course.”
I didn’t listen to the rest of what she had to say. It seemed like hours before she dismissed us, although we never left her office. I sat there crying while Oliver held me close and told me it was only temporary. “We’ll be able to be together all the time soon, Sil,” He kissed the top of my head, “I know it’s hard. It
’s killing me, too, but we’ll get through it. I promise!”
I knew the headmistress was still sitting at her desk. I was very aware that she was watching us and even more aware that she was straining to hear every word we said.
“I don’t want to be here!” I sobbed, “I want to go back to the cabin and be with you!”
“Me, too, Sil. Me, too, but we can’t right now.”
“No, Oliver, let’s not stay here!” I hissed into his chest, “Let’s just go! Please! They’re going to chuck us out anyway!”
“Maybe not, Love. Maybe not,” He pushed the hair back from my forehead, “The term’s almost up. They’ve never had students go and elope on them before. This is all new to them as well. They just have to make some arrangements…”
“Arrangements? Make arrangements? What about our arrangements? We’ve got a life, too, and this is like…this is like taking a step backward!” I felt slightly hysterical. It was all I could do to keep from shouting, “I can’t stand it! I don’t want to sleep without you…not once…not one night…not ever!” I shook with sobs, “Please, let’s just get out of here!”
“Silvia, listen to me,” He moved away from me so that I had to tilt my head back to look up into his face. His dark eyes searched mine as if he was looking for some sort of reason he could reach within them, “We have to graduate! What’s the point of all the time we’ve spent in school if we don’t? I’ll tell you what’ll happen. I can’t get a decent job and we can’t afford to put a lid on a basket for our muffins!” I couldn’t help it, I began to laugh. He let me rest my face against him again and held me tight, swaying softly, “You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You and me, Sil. You and me, we’re magic, remember? And nobody is going to take one of us away from the other forever! So it’s a couple of nights or it’s six weeks and then we graduate. We get out of this place and we go home…”