“To the cabin?”
“My dad says yeah, we can have it,” He smiled an easy smile down at me, “I reckon we can fix it up some, mind. Put on a couple of rooms. Maybe even build us a right proper toilet,” He pinched me lightly on the chin, “And I can continue to work for the flour mill, it’s not far, and we can still go to university…”
“I just want to be with you.”
“You are with me.” He put my hand over his heart, “Here, Love. Always. Here.” He rocked me like a baby for a long time, smoothing down the curls in my hair with his long fingers.
Our headmistress finally spoke, “I’m sorry. I truly am, you don’t know how sorry, but it’s gotten terribly late. I have to ask you both to return to your dormitories.”
I held tighter to Oliver. I had made a huge circle of wet with my tears down the front of his uniform and his shirt stuck to my cheek.
“OK,” He answered her softly, “Just one more moment, please?”
I could see her through the bend in his sleeve. She nodded, looking sincerely sympathetic, “One more moment would be fine,” She told him.
“Listen to me, Love,” Oliver pulled back again just a little and looked into my eyes. He cocked his head and wiped my cheeks with his sleeve, “Just Silvia Cotton isn’t Just Silvia Cotton anymore. She’s Just Silvia Dickinson now and she’s my wife,” He moved the band on my finger from side to side, “Someone special gave me that ring a long, long time ago and I’ll tell you the story another time. But I want you to know that it’s magic, OK?” He looked around quickly, glancing at the headmistress, who was pretending not to hear, “It’s as magic as you and me. Now, go. Go and get some sleep and know that I’m thinking and I’m dreaming about you, same as always. I’ll see you at breakfast. Fat sausages and eggs and hot porridge, toast and bacon…and me. All your favourite things at one table, eh?” He looked deep into me, right into my soul, “I love you, Sil. Never doubt it, never forget it.” His grasp loosened, but he kissed me. “It’ll be OK.”
I released him reluctantly. “I love you, too” I sobbed. I couldn’t lift my head as he let me go. I just stared at his legs.
Headmistress took me by the arm, “I trust you can find your way to your room, Mister Dickinson?”
Yes, Ma’am,” He answered. “I can.”
“Goodnight then, Oliver,” She said quietly, rising to her feet, “I will take care of your young Missus.”
“Thank you,” He answered, but he didn’t move.
“I said goodnight, Oliver.” She said more sternly. I think she pointed to the door, “Go!”
He did as he was told slowly, touching my shoulder as he went.
I swear I sank right there and would have hit the floor, but Headmistress caught me, “Now, now, Miss Cotton…well, I suppose I can’t call you that anymore, but it seems so odd to call you Missus Dickinson. Perhaps I’ll just call you Silvia, if you don’t mind,” She was speaking rapidly in a tone that said it was not sure if she were addressing a woman or a child, “Now, now, Silvia,” She started again, “It’ll just be a few hours and you’ll see him again. I’m no ogre, you know, and if things were just up to me I’d give you quarters together, seeing as you are married and as far as I know there are no rules as far as being married and attending this school,” She paused again, “But it’s never happened before…and there are rules about boys and girls being in each other’s dormitories,” She squeezed my shoulders, helping me back to my feet, “I’ve been watching you and Oliver for as long as you’ve been here and I’ve seen…” We took a few steps, “I’ve seen that there’s been something special between the two of you since he hit you in the head with that ball…yes, I saw that, too…I see everything…and what I don’t see I either get told by the professors or the students…” A few more steps, we were through the door, “But, please listen to me now. I have no intention of expelling either one of you for the simple crime of getting married. It’s the natural thing that people who meet and fall in love do sooner or later...”
“Headmistress Pennyweather?” My voice was shaking.
“Yes, Dear?”
“I want you to expel us.”
She burst into laughter, a sound like bubbles that I had never heard come from her. “Missus Dickinson! The very thought!” She patted my back, “You are one of my top students! You are an excellent candidate for a scholarship to university! I couldn’t see it right to expel you just because you want to go! And I would hate to see you resign the school! I enjoy having both you and Oliver here very much! You two bring life to this stuffy place! Plus, if the two of you left I would think Alexander would go and then my detention pad would be lonely,” She chuckled. “We will find a way, I promise. We will find a way for you both to be together and see a successful finish here at Bennington.”
We finally made it to the door of my room in the dormitory. “Thank you,” I said meekly.
“You are welcome,” She smiled softly. The creases beside her eyes deepened as she put her ageing hand on my shoulder, “Sleep now, breakfast will come sooner. And please remember what Oliver said to you, Silvia. Love has a magical way of making everything work out just right. Don’t doubt it or forget it.”
She waited for me to go inside the room and close the door. I heard her shoes clicking until they turned the corner the end of the hall. “Hi, Sandy,” I said weakly, turning toward my friend, “How was your holiday?”
“Why are you crying?” Sandra asked with concern. She was standing between our beds in her pyjamas and had obviously been waiting for me for a while. There were two sodas and a half-eaten box of chocolate rings on my bed, “And why did you get here so late? I was worried! I thought you weren’t going to come back. I thought maybe you’d had a crash…oh, no! Oh my! Is it Oliver? Is he OK?”
“Oh, Sandy!” I fell on to my bed, “It’s terrible!”
I told her everything. I buried my face into my pillow and sobbed until my head pounded and my teeth hurt.
She handed me the last tissue just as my eyes swelled shut, “Well, you’ll see him soon, won’t you?” She said in a comforting tone, rubbing my back with the flat of her hand, “Oliver! Your husband! Wow, you’re the only person my age I’ve ever known who got married! But you didn’t tell me what it was like.”
“What was like?” I was breathing through my mouth like a fish out of water with my face pressed against the pillow.
“You know…it…you know…sex.”
“Oh,” I thought it was a silly question, “It was like…well, magic.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes,” I mumbled, “But I never got my socks back.”
I didn’t hear what she had to say after that, I was sound asleep.
The news of Oliver’s and my marriage spread like wildfire throughout the school. By lunch we were being stared and pointed at. “No photos, please!” Oliver said grandly as he passed a table of gawking sixth year girls. He lifted his food tray as if to block his face, “Show starts at eleven, Everyone! It’s nearly sold out, so if you haven’t gotten tickets already, buy them soon! They’re on sale in the middle room!”
That was Oliver, always making a joke of everything. I didn’t find it quite as funny.
At dinner Lance and Merlyn joined us at our table. They came in together and took their usual seats, giving us generic greetings. Immediately afterwards the awkward silence set in.
“How you holding up, Mate?” Lance finally asked Oliver as he mashed his potato with his fork.
“What do you mean?” Oliver was perfectly casual.
“Well, everyone’s talking about you two being married,” Merlyn began slowly. His lovely brown eyes flicked up to meet mine and then went straight down again.
“I know. But it seems to me they’re not saying much.” Oliver bit into a carrot and immediately spat it out, “Bloody disgusting! I hate when they make them sweet!”
“No, they’re saying plenty,” Lance’s pale green eyes were filled with sympathy, “Not that Merlyn o
r I believe any of it, you see.”
“It’s all bullocks,” Alexander said through a mouthful of stew, “Don’t you give it any mind, Sil.”
“Well, I heard that I’m a filthy whore a few times today and that a few people are surprised I’m walking straight. Oliver has me pregnant, I’m told, and it’s why he married me. Is that what you heard?” I was looking at Lance. Merlyn, for whatever reason, still did not seem to want to look me in the eye.
“Well, yes. They’re saying you’re with child.” Lance answered softly.
“But that’s not the bad bit,” Merlyn shook his chocolate milk carton, deciding that he was going to speak to me, “Someone’s telling folks that your parents forced Ollie to marry you against his will.”
“Oh, my God!” I threw my hand against my forehead. I felt sick. “You’ve got to be joking!”
“That’s absurd!” Alexander snorted, “Philip Cotton couldn’t make Oliver do anything! Lucy could take the old man with one arm! Ollie’d snap him into bits!”
“Why does everyone think she’s pregnant?” Oliver asked innocently as he spooned stew around his bowl. “Can’t two people just get married because they want to?”
“She’s not?” Lance shoved his dark blonde blond fringe out of his eyes with the back of his hand. He was honestly surprised.
“You are a great stupid scrut,” Alexander told him, “The two of you have the combined sense of a pair of goslings,” He raised his voice and put his arm around my waist as if to protect me, “She’s not pregnant! Sil’s a fine and decent girl! What’s so unbelievable that they might be in love? But then again,” He looked around to see how many people were listening. I’d say it was most in our half the hall, “If you would combine the keen and insightful minds of this lot you’d no doubt come to the wrong conclusion every time!”
“I’m sorry,” Merlyn told us sincerely, “It just seems odd is all. The two of you planning on going off together…well, that’s all right. But then you come back married! What’s a bloke supposed to think?”
“It was a bit sudden,” Lance added. He seemed relieved. “You never mentioned getting married, neither of you.”
“Ollie did to me,” Alex muttered. “Why’s he got to tell you clowns?”
“It’s all right,” Oliver handed me a piece of buttered bread. “I really don’t care what anyone thinks or says.”
“I do!” I objected, “They’re saying that my dad made you marry me! It’s bad enough they’re saying you only married me because you banged me up, but my Dad forcing you to marry me…that’s just humiliating!”
“It’s completely stupid as well,” Oliver replied calmly. He put his arm around me and tucked me to his side, “We’ve been a couple for two years and they’ve always talked, haven’t they? It’s never bothered me.”
“Of course it’s never bothered you! Nothing ever bothers you, Oliver!” It was the first time I can remember being really angry with him. I jerked away, “When someone says something you don’t like, you have this uncanny ability to just turn your head away and not hear them or you make it into a bloody joke! This is no joke to me! What they're saying bothers me! It hurts me!”
I turned away from him and found myself facing Alexander. He didn’t say a word, but I knew he was as upset as I was. I stared into his dark eyes and I got the distinct impression that he would kill for me if he had to.
“Eat your supper, Sil,” Oliver urged, putting his hand against my back, “You haven’t had a bite since we’ve been back. When we’re through with dinner we can take a walk around the lake like we always do. Get away from all these people who would do better to find themselves a hobby other than worrying about us.”
“I’m not hungry! I don’t want to go for a walk! I want to leave, Oliver!” I turned to him and then turned away just as quickly. If I looked at him I might start shouting and I didn’t want to do that. Enough people were already staring at us. “I told you when we got here! I hate this place and I hate almost everyone in it!”
I wanted to leave Bennington so badly it was all I could do not to scream and run out of the gates and up the road. It was only Oliver’s consistency and calm insistence that kept me there.
“Hey, Sil,” Lance said gently, “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t think any less of you when I thought what they were saying might be true. Nor did Merlyn. I swear it! Hey, please don’t cry…”
But I couldn’t help myself.
“Oh, screw them!” Alexander put his arm around my back set his face close to mine, “Silvia! Listen to me! There is not one of those people talking who’s not a complete arsehole! SCREW THEM!” He said it very loudly, loudly enough for most of the room to turn and look.
“Come on, Love,” Oliver whispered into my other ear, “What they think doesn’t matter. We know the truth and our friends know the truth. Who gives a damn what those morons say?”
“It’s degrading!” I tried to get a hold of myself, but I couldn’t. I put my hands flat against the table, but my fingers were trembling, “It makes me feel as if I’m some vile, disgusting creature!”
That was it for Alexander.
“Could you be any crueller?” He demanded. He was looking straight at someone, but I could not tell whom. “You need to grow the bloody hell up! She’s a person! They’re people, these two!” He stood up, sending his chair skidding across the floor with an angry scrape. He was so livid his face was turning red like Edmond’s. I could see the vein in the side of his neck pulsing, “Who the hell do any of you think you are? Saying all you’re saying! How about we put you hypocrites under a microscope?” His eyes darted around the room and settled on the table to our right, “You! Vincent Todd! Yes, you! Oliver shouldn’t have bought the cow when he was getting the milk for free, eh? You’d have done the same and chucked her, eh? Excellent, Mate! Tell me, smoked any weed in your dormitory today? Wait! No! You had some down by the lake! Yes, I saw you! Dare you to put out your pockets!” He turned his jacket pockets inside out and mocked the guilty face Vince was making, “And you, Nick Porter, over there saying that Silvia’s all banged up this afternoon in class and laughing about it! You‘d like to have a piece of that, too, eh? Yeah, that was funny when you said that about my sister in law!” He clapped his hands and then snarled, “You’re lucky Professor Nickels walked in or I’d have knocked your teeth down your fucking throat! Oh, speaking of throats, did you and Dan Simms ever decide whether you were gay? You two lovers work it out? Or are you still playing make believe with that girl from Ebbw Vale? What is her name? Oh, yeah, Karenna McNeil! Nice girl, Karenna! Did you know that she’s my cousin on my mum’s side? I’ve been meaning to ring her. I’ve learned a few things since the last time we talked!”
There was a collective gasp and some hushed laughter throughout the hall. Nick and Dan both went white as chalk.
“Alexander!” Meredith spoke from a table away, “Stop it! Sit down!”
“No! Shut your hole, Meredith Ainsworth! It was you that started this rubbish! It’s the only reason why you could understand them getting married, eh? She’s pregnant! Well, if you’re so virginal I don’t suppose anyone would believe my recollection of how you spent your holiday with your knickers off and me on?” Meredith immediately began to cry. Alex didn’t even acknowledge her, “Or you, Jennifer Eisenberg, saying how Silvia’s such a whore! She’s been with both Oliver and me according to you! Well, let me tell you something! Silvia’s been with only one man and she was married to him! I’d slice my cock off before I’d betray my brother! But let’s not damage my reputation, eh? How about I tell everyone about you and me and our great adventures in the equipment shed while you were still engaged to Ted Guinness? As I recall, he graduated and you came straight for me! Didn’t mention he was buying a cottage for the two of you in Chepstow, did you? I got my arse beat over you, did you know? Old Ted and three of his rugby fucks found me in my own town and knocked the living shit out of me in the gully behind my house. Nearly broke my jaw, those bastards! But he
dumped you just the same, didn’t he? Did me a favour, too! Got me free of you before John Christiansen gave you his disease! Still itching?
You’re a lying, two timing, unfaithful, useless, cum swallowing tramp!”
Again, collective gasps and assorted laughter. Alexander glanced at John and he ducked as if something had been swung at his head.
“You’re a liar!” Jennifer swore, but there were streaks of pink in her face. “You’re a liar, Alexander, and everyone knows it!”
“Am I? Let’s see if I am! Got one tit larger than the other, do you? Come on, Dear, whip out the silicone cup you wear on the left and show us the difference!”
“It’s true!” A female voice rang, “I’ve seen her in the dressing room!”
A wave of malicious giggles filled the room. Jennifer was not one of the better-liked girls at the school. She was well known for spreading unkind gossip and bullying the under-classmen.
Jennifer crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned scarlet. She glared at the girl who had spoken, a second year that I did not know, “You’re a bitch! “ She told her and then turned back to Alexander, “And you’re a bastard!”
“Damn straight I am! And you’re a lopsided slut! Look at the lot of you girls!” He waved a hand toward the tables filled with the older female students, “You’re all so perfect with your knees glued together? Christ, I’ve banged half of you foul bitches!”
Oliver and Merlyn burst out laughing. Lance and I, however, just sat there with our mouths hanging open in horror. Moreover, Alex was not finished yet. Oh, no. Not even close.
“I don’t have to make anything up about you people! You tell lies! Lies! Well, I have the truth! And you can say what you want about me and if it’s horrible and disgusting it’s probably right, but at least it’s the truth! You’re all so full of shit! Silvia’s not pregnant! She’s a nice girl and she married Oliver for every good and true reason there is! You people make me sick! The lot of you gives me the shits!”