Chapter One
The Day After
knock-knock
I typed the rest of the sentence into my computer, pressed the keystrokes to save, and then made my way to the door. I opened it--
“Boo.”
I took a startled step backward, my wide blue gaze focused on Zell's twinkling one. He leaned against the doorjamb wearing black denim shorts and a dark blue t-shirt. He looked great, as he always did. I flushed, lowering my gaze. “Hi, Zell.” It happened? I told Zell Dincht I liked him? And he said he liked me. Now I was living the day after the confession. I giggled as I picked at my Balamb-blue sweatpants.
Zell straightened, sending me a boyishly gorgeous grin. “Hiya, Meg.”
Meg. I shivered in euphoria. He likes me! My brother would have rolled his eyes.
He caught up my hand and tugged me closer. “How are ya?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.
I flushed molten, not even wanting to look up as my stomach and my heart flittered to some place very far away as my brain tried to figure out how this could possibly have happened in a week. “Fine,” I whispered. I stared at the pale blue letters on his dark blue T-shirt in a desperate attempt to gather my wits back again. “Starting on my f-final paper for Selphie’s d-diplomacy class.” I cleared my throat. Zell felt very warm.
“Good for you.” Zell adjusted his arms to reach up and tug on one of my braids. “Ready for a break?”
With you? Really? “Sure.”
Zell didn’t move, so I very slowly raised my gaze to meet his. He grinned. “Hi.”
I giggled again, relaxing a little bit into his warmth as I stammered. “Sorry. I, um. Hi. ” I cleared my throat, blushing furiously.
“Don’t sweat it. Shy's cute.”
I peeked up at him. “Really?”
Zell continued to grin down at me.
“What?” I asked, lava reaching my hairline.
“I don’t s’pose I could get a kiss?”
My gaze retreated as I cleared my throat, and my hands reached out to pick at the raised letters on his T-shirt. “Zell, I don't want--I mean, not until later.” ~sigh~ “W-We’re not even really going out. I mean….” What did I mean?
“Sally.”
I blinked, loving how his low-ish voice sounded when he said my name, and looked up. Zell still smiled. “Yes?”
“We can do it later. I figured it never hurts to ask.” He tugged my braid again. “And yes we are.”
“We are what?”
“Going out.”
I flushed darker, if the level retreated at all from the previous bout, and lowered my eyes once more. “I didn’t mean ‘going out’. I meant, you know, going out.” What?
“I know what you meant.” Zell released his hold. “Come on, shy girl. Let’s scoot before the hot dogs get cold.”
He embraced my hand with his as he tugged me from the room, barely giving me a chance to lock it behind me. “Zell, not so fast.”
He sent me a wide smile and slowed his pace, releasing my hand to pull me close with an arm around my shoulders. “Sorry. Been like that all day. Kinda wired.”
I noticed the bright look on his face. “How come?”
Zell chuckled as he gave my shoulders a squeeze. “It's you, duh, and I like it.”
I blinked up at him as he continued to go on about how he’d “never been wired like this before. All jumpy inside and brain running around all over the place. Keep thinking about the kiss on the way to Balamb and then the peck in the T.C. and then trying to figure out how I could get you to come over to class, it was a boring thing with tests and stuff,” and found myself wondering, Is this what it’s going to be like to have Zell as a boyfriend?
I timidly smiled, still listening as I watched his face. When I noticed several of the candidates and SeeD’s looks as we headed to the cafeteria, I cleared my throat and tried to figure out how to ask something like this without sounding like a freak.
“Zell,” I whispered.
Halting mid-sentence, he grinned down at me. “Yeah?”
“Could you not... could you not do that when we’re around everyone else? Please?”
“What? The arm?” His expression showed confusion. “How come?”
I cleared my throat again, looking around at the continued glances sent our way. “It makes me--It’s embarrassing.”
Zell stopped, lowering his arm to his side as he stared down at me. “I’m embarrassing?”
Eyes widening, my gaze zoomed to his face. “No!” I said while vigorously shaking my head. “No, Zell, I didn’t mean that!” Great going, Sally! Geez!
Zell released a quick breath as his shoulders slightly stooped forward. “Whew. Don’t scare me like that.”
My expression softened. He was so adorable when he was vulnerable, and he didn’t show that side very often. I had only seen it once when I was fourteen. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Zell straightened and crossed his arms. His face showed expectancy and concentration. “OK. What's the problem.”
My heart melted to a puddle. “You’re so cute when you listen.”
Zell grinned. “That’s the problem? Would you rather me listen like this?” He frowned and stuck his head out like a turtle.
I giggled and shoved at him. “Stop.”
Zell's hands caught my wrists, and the frown disappeared to be replaced by a mischievous grin. “Heh heh heh,” he chuckled. “I’ve got you now.”
My eyes widened. “Zell, don’t,” I hissed. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Zell. Please. Not in front of everyone.” I tried to free my hands, panic rising as I heard another group of SeeD or candidates approach. “That’s the problem,” was out before I could stop it.
Zell’s grin vanished, his hands releasing mine. “Huh?”
I slapped both hands over my mouth, staring up at him with wide eyes. Sal-ly! Taking in a deep breath, I released it slowly as my gaze retreated from his. “You’re not the problem, Zell,” I whispered. “I like you just the way you are, but.” I cleared my throat. How did someone say something like this to their boyfriend of one day? “In public I’d rather not, well….” My voice lowered even more, and I felt my head droop down between my shoulders as I tried to hide while admitting, “you know.” Holding hands in public was hard enough for me. But kissing? I worried my lower lip.
“But I’m just kidding around, Meg. Honest.” Zell released my wrists with a wide-eyed expression. “I wasn’t going to do anything. Swear.”
Desperation flared, making me quickly reach out to place my hands on his chest. “Zell, I know that. I just--”
A couple candidates approached and I quickly straightened, lowering my hands to my sides as I took a step back. We exchanged 'hello's as they moved on. I released a deep breath, cheeks flushed as I wondered what will they think all day during class tomorrow?
“Ohhh,” Zell said once they passed. “I get it. No touchy-feely stuff. We can kid around, teasing and stuff, but no--Got it.” Zell grinned as he cuffed me gently on the chin. “No prob, Meg.”
I released another deep breath, worrying my lower lip as I picked at my pinky’s fingernail. “It’s so stupid.” Yeah. Not doing boyfriend/girlfriend things like what I had wanted to do for three years at least? Yes, it was definitely stupid. What happened to that circle of arms you wanted so bad?
Oh shut up.
“Stupid? Tch! What rumors and stuff’d be flyin’ if everyone knew we’d hooked up–”
I lifted my eyes with a fast “No, Zell! I don’t care if anyone finds out about that. I’d tell them myself on a network bulletin board,” with barely a breath between.
“Really?” Zell’s eyes twinkled. “Ohh yeaaah. I’ve got me a girlfriend.”
My cheeks flushed. “You silly boy,” I said as I pushed at him.
He pushed back, immediately grabbing me to give me yet another knuckle-noogie.
“Zell! Stop that!” I warned as I poked him in the ribs.
Surprisingly, to my relief, Zell
released his hold and took my hand instead. “Come on, shy girl. By the time we get to the cafeteria, grub’s going to be gone.”
“Sorry.”
Zell chuckled and gave my hand a squeeze, but I just couldn’t look over at him. “Geez, Meg, stop being ‘sorry’ for everything.”
And I almost said ‘sorry’ again. I had always been very apologetic, over-eager to take the blame for stuff. My brother, Zack, said that if I didn’t stop, I was going to have ulcers by the time I was twenty-one.
When Zell looked over at me as we once again started for the cafeteria, the hair on the nape of my neck stood on end and I couldn’t help but tighten my hold on his hand. Zell’s hand. I’m holding Zell’s hand. I released a sigh and felt my lips twitch upward.
“So why the freak-out about the touchy stuff, Sally?”
I twitched, both not prepared for him saying my name and for the almost gentle way he asked the question. As if he didn’t want to make me mad. “It’s not a freak-out,” I said quietly. “I just get really uncomfortable.” I didn’t know how else to explain it.
“Really? How come?”
I sent a passing candidate trio a sidelong glance when I noticed them look our direction. My face flamed. “I-I don't know. I'm even embarrassed when my mom and dad do it, or even my brother with me, or anyone in my family.”
“Seriously?” Zell's tone was adorably attentive. “But people do that stuff all the time.”
“I know.” Which made me feel even more idiotic. I looked over at him. “Maybe it'll just take a little bit? Mom says I've gotten better.” And with Zell Dincht as my boyfriend? I was bound to get better, aren’t I?
“Well, sure!” Zell gave my hand a tight squeeze. “So we’ll set some rules is all. I don’t think about stuff like that, so you’ll have to remind me sometimes.”
I smiled. “I'll probably be okay if you keep it the way it was when we went to Balamb and Timber.”
He winked at me. “No groping, I guess?”
I laughed and gave him a firm shove straight into a potted plant. I took off toward the cafeteria at a run, Zell sounding a maniacal laugh behind me. I didn’t understand why it was so easy for me to play around as if he were my friend or brother and then be uncomfortable and uncertain when he tried to act like my boyfriend.
What sense did that make?