~sigh~
We stepped into the grassy ‘lobby’ of the Training Center and I stopped. I just couldn’t move another step. I could vaguely hear Zell stripping out of his sweatshirt to his ‘Balamb Rocks!’ t-shirt and then checking the laces on his shoes. But I couldn’t do anything but clench and unclench my hands in my pockets as I stared blankly at a little rock about twelve inches in front of my foot. Then I heard Zell doing his usual stretches, and his shadow-boxing to warm up, and then felt his eyes on me.
I think every inch of my skin had a goose-bump on it.
“Problem?” Zell asked, the question making me twitch out of my catatonic state and somewhat quickly shake my head while clearing my throat and stepping forward. I was walking about as stiff as a popsicle stick person... er... yeah. To my surprise and dread, Zell caught me by the arm as I was about to walk past.
“Hold up there, shy girl,” he said quietly. “You’re walking like you’re made of cardboard. What’s up?”
I twitched, wished I hadn’t--of course--and started worrying my lower lip as Zell kept hold of my arm, kept standing close, and kept watching every little body movement. There was no way for me to know how to explain that I didn’t know how to, well, I didn’t know how to do this workout thing now that we were boyfriend/girlfriend because I didn’t want something bad to happen. Or him to think something about me or the situation.
Yeah. I know. It sounds lame and silly and I’m worrying too much.
“Sally,” Zell prompted.
And I couldn’t tell if it was my imagination or not that he sounded a little like an instructor again. Which, of course, made me stiffen up a little more and cringe. I really hated being ‘fragile.’
Zell scrubbed at his scalp as he let go of my arm. Then he released a fast breath and gave my arm a nudge while saying, “Come on. Let’s take a walk,” and getting me—somehow--to follow him into the Training Center.
When the steel doors closed behind us, I twitched again. And when Zell took an almost cautious hold of my hand, which had me biting my lower lip and whispering “I’m sorry,” because of how bad I was probably freaking him out.
Especially if he couldn’t figure out what the problem was.
Since coming back from the second Sorceress War, I’d noticed him to watch people’s body language more often. Not as much as Sub-Lt. Commander Seifer did, who seemed able to see everything--which was probably one of the reasons he scared me so much.
“So what’s the problem, Sally? You said you’d been studying the specs. You were ready for this. Remember?”
I very slightly nodded, whispering, “I know,” while trying desperately to figure out how to tell him what the problem was. Did I even really know? “I am.”
“Okay, so what’s got you knotted up like who-knows-what? The way you are, you wouldn’t be able to do a somersault.”
I reluctantly smiled as I looked over at him. Sure enough, his expression showed concern and confusion. They mixed together to make him look so much like a lost little boy that it tugged at my heart-strings. “I....” I’m an idiot? Start with that.
“You?” Zell prompted.
But why did I need to tell him anything? It would just cause him stress.
“Want me to go over it with you step-by-step?” he offered.
“Um.” And if I was being so silly, why should both of us stress about it? It was dumb, I knew it, but I was such a worry-wart. Shaking my head, I said, “I’m just really nervous.” Which was partially true. Just not about ‘Quick Silver’. I had that down pat.
On paper, at least.
“You don’t need to be nervous about anything, Meg,” Zell told me, visibly relaxing. “Come on. I’ve never made you feel like a loser or anything, have I?”
I shook my head.
“OK, then. Just chill and work out with me. It’ll be fun.”
And even though I knew he didn’t mean it for the same thing I needed to hear it for, it worked just the same. I offered a smile and a little nod while giving his hand a tight squeeze and repeating ‘just chill and work out with me’ as my new mantra. I really liked working out with Zell, and that was all I had to focus on. Just him and me. I nodded again, even saying “OK,” in a quiet voice.
Zell smiled, gave my hand a firm squeeze, and then pointed at me. “Let’s jog around the T.C. a bit to get you warmed up and loosened up. Then I’ll help you with your stretches and we’ll get started.”
I nodded again, trying to keep my mind from thinking about what ‘help you with your stretches’ entailed, and just fell into step beside him as he set the pace for the jog. No thinking, Sally. Your workouts are easy. Relatively speaking. So just go with it. If something happens, just let him know then. Don’t be freaking about it before. It sounded so easy, and I never did anything the easy way.
Zell, true to himself, would occasionally purposefully run into me as we jogged around. Which would, of course, make me complain and protest, and tell him to “Stop!” while loving how he tried to get me to loosen up. He had started doing something like this every workout session. I only didn’t know what it would be until he did it.
Then it was time to do my pre-workout stretches, the ones he always helped me with to make sure I utilized my full range of motion in both passive and active ranges. That was when I tensed up a little, immediately telling myself to Chill when I noticed him send me a questioning glance.
It wasn’t that Zell had to touch me in personal areas or anything to do the stretches. No, no, no. He really only had to hold my wrist, or my knee or ankle, or something like that while making me use the full range of motion of my muscles. Both when I was relaxed and when I was doing it myself. It was just that the warmth and pressure of his hand was different now he knew I liked him, and that I knew he liked me. You know?
Sure I was wearing sweats and a sweatshirt, but I knew they were going to come off eventually because of the workout (Yes, I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt!). Then it would be hand on bare skin and, well, I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, I knew what to expect for me because I’d been dealing with it since that first workout. But him? No. I had no clue. And I felt bad that something I might do might make him... I don’t know.
“Sally,” Zell directed, expression a little stern as I looked up from him working the flexion/extension of my knee. “Relax.”
I flushed and mumbled, “Sorry,” letting out a deep breath as he kept working the motion of my knees.
We were sitting in a grassy portion of the Training Center, me sitting back with my hands behind and enjoying the feel of the grass in my fingers and the breeze on my face. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining, and the wind was making the trees rustle and the rings of Garden make that wind-chime sound that always sounded so beautiful.
Smiling, I closed my eyes and let out another deep breath.
“There ya go, girl. Geez. Been trying to get that stretch for five minutes at least.”
Opening my eyes, I ducked my head between my shoulders and met his gaze. “Oops.”
Zell shook his head while chuckling, finishing the leg stretches and altering his position to sit up by me and start on my shoulder and arm. While it looked like he was really focusing completely on what he was doing with my wrists, elbows, and shoulder, I kept getting the prickles and goose-bumps that let me know he was watching my profile. That made me focus even more on calming down and just not thinking about it. What happened, happened. Right? I caught myself biting my lip and quickly stopped, my glance toward Zell meeting his glance toward me.
I flushed, smiled, and looked away.
Zell hesitated for a quick second before adjusting his position more, and then softly brushing my braid behind my back so that he wouldn’t pull my hair while rotating my shoulder. I closed my eyes and released a slow breath, repeating my mantra of ‘just chill and work out with me’. It couldn’t be that hard.
What seemed an hour later, the stretches were done and Zell was helping me to my feet. He’d fall
en quiet again. Which was odd, because he should have been refreshing my memory on ‘Quick Silver’s specs and what step of it we were going to work on first.
“Let’s do some sparring today,” he said suddenly. “You’re not ready for ‘Quick Silver’ yet.”
I blinked, fully focusing on his face as I said “What?”
Zell shook his head, expression serious as he rested his hands on his hips. “You’re not ready. You’re still tensing up, which is blasting your range of motion and flexibility. You’ve got to be top to do QS.”
“But I am ready!” I protested, immediately shielding my mouth.
“OK.” Zell set-up his infamous duel stance. “Hit me.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You heard me, Sally. You think you’re ready, so set yourself and hit me because I don’t believe it.”
Worrying my lower lip, I held his gaze for longer than I thought I would. I mean, I couldn’t believe he was doing this. But there he was--full instructor mode and daring me to hit him, to prove that I could handle this move that I knew backwards and forwards.
Lowering my eyes, I released a soft breath and struggled out of my sweatshirt while giving myself a pep talk. What I told myself I had no idea, but it made me feel a little better as I set aside my sweatshirt and then set my stance. Oh man–I barely had the thought in my head before Zell acted and now held me by the shirt-front. I blinked up into his stern expression, eyes wide.
“Focus,” he directed.
Barely able to nod when I realized his breath smelled like a jelly donut, I did my best.
Zell held me for a second longer before setting me back, stepping a short distance away, and once more setting his stance. “Focus,” he repeated.
I was able to nod a bit better this time, took some breaths as I set my stance, and then grabbed at my concentration. You do this, Sally! One last breath out and I was as ready as I would get.
“Should I wait for it to attack?” “Why? Do it yourself.” So I did.
Now, you’ve got to realize that Zell was the Duel specialist. I had only been watching his classes since he returned from the second Sorceress War, reading the articles I knew he read in Combat King, and then working out with him for the past week. Not even that long. So I didn’t have any set moves yet. ‘Quick Silver’ was going to be my first one. I only had basic Duel training, my gymnastic moves, and then my memories of Zell’s classes.
I basically had to improvise in order to try and get a hit.
Improvise against Zell.
Zell Dincht.
But I did what I could. Using what my body knew. Focusing my power and my strength the same time I used my balance and motor coordination to the best of my limited ability. When I had to back-flip away in order to deflect an attempted strike, I thought Use it, moments before my body did what it remembered of ‘Quick Silver’.
Next thing I knew, Zell was on the floor with me kneeling beside him and my fist was on his chest as I blinked down at him.
He grinned up at me. “See?”
Gasping, “Oh my gosh, Zell, are you okay--Did I hurt you I didn’t hurt you, did I Please say I didn’t hurt you?” I helped him sit up.
“Tch! I’m fine,” he said, even as he rubbed at the sternum portion of his chest while giving a slight cough. Then he grinned at me. “That was sweet, Meg! You pulled it off without a hitch!”
But he still rubbed at his chest. “Are you sure you’re okay? Here. Let me see. Maybe I need to get some ice from the Infirmary,” I lifted his shirt and sucked in a breath at the red spot. “Oh no! It’s all red, and I bet it stings, too. Oh man. I’m sorry, Zell. I didn’t know what I was doing, I just did it because you said I was supposed to hit you and that I had to prove I was ready for the move, and I knew I was ready—Oh, man.” I reached out and lightly touched the red spot, which was warmer than the rest of his chest. I sniffed.
“Sally.” Zell pulled his shirt down, the action drawing my gaze. “I’m fine.”
“But–-”
“Nope,” Zell interrupted, standing and pulling me to my feet. “I’m okay, you did what I told you and proved that you were ready for it.” He gave my hands several pressures as I continued to look up at him with my sad expression as I worried my lip. “Now come on. Let’s do that again. You did some pretty awesome sequences that I want to get down for another move. They were those arm combos. Perfect for the ‘Hell Strike’ name I came up with last night.”
“But what about--”
“ ‘Quick Silver’? Man, girl, you’ve got that one. Sure we can do it again to keep it fresh, but I want to figure out that sequence for ‘Hell Strike’ first. You nearly got me a couple times there, you were so quick.”
Flushing with the praise, I clasped my hands in front of me. “Thank you, but, I don’t remember what I did.”
“Oh sure. I know that. We don’t have anything set for you yet, but you’ve been doing that combo pretty regular since we started working out.”
I blinked, surprised. “Really?”
“Yep. Now come on. Let’s do some more of that sparring and see if we can figure it out. Just do stuff and don’t think. OK?”
Don’t think. That was what I ‘did’ when I had gotten in that shot. OK, so, just don’t think? If I could do it once, I could do it again. I smiled and nodded. “I can do that.”
Zell grinned and gave me a gentle chuck on the chin before stepping back and setting his stance. “OK, Meg. Whenever you’re ready.”
Working out with Zell had been the one thing I daydreamed for my entire crush, and now it was happening. Not only that, we were boyfriend/girlfriend.
Zell’s my boyfriend.
I set my stance, smiling for only one moment more before turning my brain off onto that one very happy thought.