Falling forward, he tried to catch his breath as he drowned in a wave of guilt. Silently berating himself for ruining her first experience with a man, he stayed fully sheathed in her slick heat. She combed her fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek and jaw. He didn’t deserve her sweet gestures, not after failing her in this.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice muffled by her throat. Embarrassment gripped him. For a man renowned for his sexual prowess, he had just made a complete fool of himself by coming so fast. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” Shay sounded confused as she stroked his back.
Lifting his head, he gazed down into her beautiful face. Didn’t she understand that he’d just cheated her of something special? “I should have had more control. I hurt you—and then I finished first.”
Shay pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss. “You didn’t hurt me, and I don’t care that you finished first.” Smiling tenderly, she brushed her fingertips along his jawline. “We’ll figure out the timing eventually.”
In awe of her, Alexei nuzzled into her and noisily kissed his cheek. Very carefully, he withdrew from her body and rolled onto his side. He slipped one arm under her body and embraced her from behind, dragging her back against him. He grasped her knee and pulled her leg up and over his, opening her thighs and giving him the right amount of access. Cupping her hot mound, he nibbled her earlobe and said, “Tell me what feels good.”
“Everything you do to me feels good,” she said breathlessly. “Like that,” she whispered when he rubbed his finger around her clit in a lazy circle. “Especially that.”
Listening to her moans and hitched breaths for guidance, he played with that pink pearl hidden away between her legs until she started to tremble. Holding her like this, he was able to tease her with kisses and fondle her incredible breasts. He focused his attention on her clitoris, rubbing and stroking, but didn’t let his fingers drift any lower. After the way he had just battered her poor body, she was probably aching and sore.
She gripped his thigh and pushed back against him. Her perky little ass brushed against his stiffening cock. He’d always been quick to recover but even this was fast for him. With his fingers sliding in her wetness, he grew more excited, his blood heating in his veins and coursing through him with renewed vigor. He wanted nothing more than to bury his dick in her again—but it was too soon.
With a shocked groan, Alexei surged against Shay when she reached down between her spread legs to stroke his shaft. Her nimble fingers moved over his solid length, gliding down from the tip to the base. She was growing bolder with him and more curious. He fucking loved it.
But when she cupped his balls, Alexei’s fingers faltered. He nipped at her earlobe. “What are you doing, Shay?”
“Can we try again?” she asked, her voice tinted with excitement and uncertainty.
He gulped. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“You won’t,” she assured him. “I know what I want, and I want you. Again.”
His dick throbbed, and heat rolled through his belly. “I’ll be gentle.”
Shay looked back at him and smiled. “You always are with me.”
The absolute trust reflected in her dark eyes drove him crazy. Someday, he wanted to deserve it. He wasn’t a good man. He’d done some terrible shit in his life, but he had tried to make amends. He’d tried to live clean and right. Gazing down at Shay, he wondered if she was his reward for good behavior.
Instead of pushing her onto her back, he kept her glued to his chest like this. Spooning would keep him from losing control again. Clutching his cock, she guided him into place, and he carefully, slowly, pressed into her. She licked her full lower lip and wiggled her hips until she found just the right angle. “Oh,” she breathed out on a long sigh. “Alexei.”
“Does this feel good?”
“Yes. So good.”
Fully sheathed in her wet heat, he didn’t move. Instead, he traced a tight circle around her clit with two fingers. She shuddered when his fingertips flicked a certain way so he kept doing that—again and again and again until she panted and squirmed. Their coupling was unhurried and slow. Pushing, thrusting, rocking—he carried her closer and closer to the edge. She squeezed him with rhythmic spasms until finally—finally—she came apart in his arms.
“Alexei!” Shay cried out with ecstasy, her entire body undulating with sheer pleasure.
Exquisite. He watched her closely, enjoying the wonder and astonishment brightening her gorgeous face. His own orgasm was close behind, thrumming and building and pulsing with greater intensity. But he clamped down on it, refusing to let go until Shay was satisfied.
She had just come down from her first climax when she shifted away from him and onto her back. Clutching at his arms, she tugged on him in a silent plea for him to climb on top of her again. He wasn’t about to deny her anything she desired, especially not tonight.
Sliding into her, he was careful not to take her too fast or too hard. He crashed their mouths together while snapping his hips, burying him cock in her. She clawed at his back, leaving burning trails along his skin. Feeling her staccato breaths on his cheek and neck excited him more than anything. He grasped her hand and dragged it down to the place where their bodies were joined.
“Make yourself come again,” he all but ordered. Nipping at her bottom lip, he caused her to hiss. “Show me the way you touch yourself when you’re alone.”
Throwing her head back, Shay cried out as he thrust into her with a little more force. She played with her clit, rubbing fast circles around it while rising up to meet his every move. He could tell she was close again by those quick breaths she inhaled and the deep flush racing along her skin. Enthralled by her breasts, he bent his head and latched on to her dark nipple.
She came suddenly, her entire body wracked with the explosion of pure bliss. He didn’t stand a chance. He dove off the edge with her and plunged into the same wave of pleasure.
They came down together, kissing, touching, whispering. She had the sweetest, softest smile on her beautiful face. She kissed him so tenderly, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she started to giggle. “That was amazing,” she murmured against his lips. She embraced him in a hug he never wanted to end. “I’m so glad it was you.”
In that moment, he knew everything had changed. All his plans for her? They crumbled in a spectacular crash. She could never be just his mistress. Not after this.
No, she was meant for something far greater.
Mine, he thought and gathered her close. Always.
Chapter Fourteen
Long after Shay fell asleep in his arms, Alexei stroked her bare back and arm. His mind raced in ten different directions. What would happen once the underworld woke to the news that Lalo Contreras was dead? Would Shay and Kylee’s involvement in his death stay secret? Would the police come sniffing around for answers?
And what the fuck was he going to do about Shannon? She was out there somewhere, probably hurt and scared, and would need to be rescued. If she was smart, she would get as far away from Texas as possible. She would go north to any place not connected to the cartel and start a new life. But was she that smart? The choices she had made so far in life didn’t inspire much confidence.
Shay hummed in her sleep and turned on her side. Even before he slid closer, she was snuggling back against him. His mouth lifted in a smile as pulled her in tight and kissed the side of her neck. His smile faded when he noticed the scars crisscrossing her back. Earlier, he had felt the raised bumps under his fingertips, but he had been so fascinated by her lithe body that he hadn’t paid them much attention.
But now? Now he couldn’t stop looking at them.
He knew what they were.
Someone had struck Shay, repeatedly, with a cord of some kind. The scars curved around her back the way something flexible would when it hit skin. He didn’t have to think very hard to find a culprit for the abuse she had suffered. It was either her ho
rrible mother or one of the scumbag assholes she had brought into their home.
Rage burned hot and heavy in his chest as he traced the thin scars. They spurred a memory he had long since buried. While imprisoned in that juvenile camp, he and Ivan had watched another boy, a weaker boy, who had been singled out by the three of their guards. For every little infraction, that poor kid had been hauled away and taken to the secret block where terrible things had been done to him.
Once, the kid had been thrown back into their dormitory cell completely unconscious and with his back ragged and torn from a whipping. The next day, Ivan had coaxed the truth from the younger boy, learning about the extension cord that had been used on him and the other terrible things that had been done. That was the day Ivan had decided he had finally seen enough of that kid limping and bleeding around their cell block.
Three nights after that, he and Ivan and a few of the older boys had led a small revolt on their sadistic guards. By sunrise, those guards had been on their way to a hospital and an unspoken agreement between the warden and the inmates had been struck. Not another kid had been touched while Ivan was there.
Staring at his hands, he could almost feel the hot blood spilling onto them. If he closed his eyes, he could smell the sharp bite of fear in the air. He could hear that extension cord Ivan had stolen smacking into bare skin. He could see the panicked stares of those guards when they had realized their days of beating and raping young boys were over and that they were going to leave the prison on stretchers.
Disgust soured his stomach. The things he had done to survive in that place…
Alexei lifted his hand from Shay’s back and held it away from her as if he feared infecting her with the darkness and shame still clinging to him. She was the most pure and good thing he had ever had in his life. If she ever found out about the horrible things he had done?
She’ll leave me.
Panic overwhelmed him. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her. He would do anything to keep her. Anything.
Thinking of the unseemly way he had brought her into his life left his stomach in knots. He had been so stupid to ever think that asking her to be his mistress would work. What must she have been thinking when he’d said that last night? Had she been afraid of what would happen when he discovered she didn’t have the skills a mistress usually possessed? Had she felt pressured to let him have her tonight?
No. He didn’t believe that last one. She had been the one who came onto him tonight. She had been the one to urge him to continue every time he had hesitated. She had made the decision to enjoy this with him. He only hoped that she was happy with that decision.
I’ll never be good enough for her.
It was a troubling thought, and one that threatened to turn him inside out. He wasn’t sure how to navigate these uncharted relationship waters. He couldn’t just give her pretty, expensive things and expect her to be happy. She would need him to be open and honest with her, to talk about his feelings and to share his thoughts with her. He’d never done that with a woman before and didn’t have the first notion of how to make it work.
But I have to try.
She had given him a precious gift tonight. She had trusted him with something she could give no other man. Forever and always, this experience was theirs and theirs alone. As he drifted off with Shay in his arms, he vowed then and there to never give her a reason to doubt that decision.
Sometime later, Alexei bolted awake to the sensation of movement. Confused, he lifted his head from his pillow and saw Shay sliding out of bed. He touched her hip, stopping her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She glanced back at him and smiled sleepily. “I’m fine.” Leaning back toward him, she kissed his cheek. “Go back to sleep.”
When she got out of bed, she turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the bedroom into darkness before he could fully appreciate every sexy inch of her body. The bathroom door clicked when it closed and a faint sliver of light illuminated the strip of space beneath it. On the verge of dozing off again, he heard the shower start. She wasn’t in there very long, maybe two or three minutes, before it switched off.
A short time later, she left the bathroom and climbed back into bed with him. He reached for her in the darkness, and she cuddled into him. He smoothed his hand down the long strands of her hair. The ends were wet so he swept her hair away from her back and onto the pillow behind her. He had his suspicions about her shower, but he didn’t want to pry or make her uncomfortable. Still—he worried she might be in pain after the way he had taken her not once but twice in such a short time.
“Shay?”
“Yes?”
“Is everything all right?”
She didn’t answer immediately. “I woke up, and I was all sticky.”
There was no mistaking the embarrassment in her voice. “Oh.” Smiling, he kissed her temple and gave her bottom a little pat. “Sorry.”
She drew shapes on his shoulder. “It’s all right. I’ll…I’ll be better prepared next time.”
Next time? Shit, he started to get hard just thinking about fucking her again. No, not fucking, he silently admonished. It wasn’t fucking. Not with Shay. It was something more. Something better.
Feeling her shiver from the chill in the room, he reached down and grabbed the covers. She burrowed into him when he dragged the sheet and duvet over their naked bodies. Almost shyly, she tucked her leg over his in a search for the most comfortable position. He placed his hand on her thigh in a reassuring gesture, wordlessly letting her know that this was all right.
It didn’t take him long to fall asleep again. Like Shay, he was exhausted from the last two nights. Unfortunately, he was programmed to wake early. He lingered in bed with Shay for half an hour before carefully extricating himself. Wanting her to get some much-needed rest, he tucked the covers around her and gently kissed her cheek before backing away from the bed.
He took a shower in the guest bathroom and changed into the clean set of workout clothes in his gym bag. While he waited for his coffee to brew, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had forgotten something important. Halfway through his first cup, it suddenly hit him.
No condom.
Twice.
What were the odds that a woman who wasn’t sexually active would be on birth control? Not very high. Thinking about everything he had packed for Shay, he didn’t remember seeing any pills in her bathroom or bedroom. She didn’t have any in her purse either.
It would figure that innocent, virginal Shay would conceive a child on her first night of lovemaking. That was the way these things usually worked. Worried that she would wake up and regret what they had done, Alexei decided he would do the one thing he could to make this right. He found his phone and texted Stas who answered back mere seconds later that he was already in the parking garage downstairs.
A few minutes later, Stas was at the front door, a fast food bag in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He headed straight for the kitchen, dropped his bag on the counter and retrieved Shay’s phone from his pocket. “I was up early so I went by the friend’s house to get Shay’s phone. There weren’t any missed calls.”
“Did you hear anything last night?” Alexei finished his coffee and put the cup in the sink. He pocketed Shay’s phone for now.
Stas shook his head. “I went straight home.”
“And this morning?”
Stas shrugged out of his jacket. “People have noticed Lalo is missing. I’ve heard a few different theories. Some people think Shannon and Ruben killed him and ran. Others think Lalo killed Shannon and Ruben and is laying low. The one that I heard more than the others is that Hector Salas came to town to clean up Lalo’s mess and whacked Lalo, Shannon and Ruben. Everyone knew that Lalo was skating on thin fucking ice with Hector. After that bust for the dog fighting? The books were opened on how long Lalo would last.”
“And Shay? Her friend? The motel?”
“Shay and Kylee were never there. You were never there.
I was never there. Besian and his crew weren’t either. Last night didn’t happen.”
“Let’s hope it stays that way,” Alexei grumbled. “I’m going out for a little while. I won’t be long.”
“We’ll be fine.” Stas dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter, sending Egg McMuffins and hash browns rolling across the granite.
“Don’t let her eat any of that horrible, greasy shit if she wakes up before I’m back,” Alexei warned. “I’ll make her a proper breakfast.”
“Whatever.” Stas stuffed a greasy hashbrown in his mouth.
Annoyed by the sound of the guard’s chewing, he pointed toward the closed bedroom door. “Don’t bother her. She needs to get some rest. The last few days have been difficult for her.”
Stas swallowed his mouthful of food and reached for his coffee. After a quick sip, he said, “I’ll be quiet.”
“See that you are,” Alexei replied, his mouth settling into a frustrated line. “And no more of your bullshit, Stas. I don’t know what you said to her yesterday—and I don’t want to know—but if I come home again and you’ve upset her, I’m bouncing you back to Nikolai.”
Stas wiped his mouth with a paper napkin and balled it up in his big fist. “I didn’t say anything to hurt her purposely. I just—I wanted her to understand what she’d done.”
“That’s not your job. She’s mine. If she needs a lesson in the way the world works, I’ll be the one who gives it to her. You keep your mouth shut and stop filling her head with stories that scare her. Shay and I? We have our own way of doing things.”
Stas eventually nodded. “You’re the boss.”
Fucking right I am, Alexei thought crossly. “Don’t let anyone inside the penthouse while I’m gone.”
“I’ll keep her locked up tight for you.”