“All right, your place tonight.” She brought her hand up to my hair and fingered it, searching me again with her intelligent eyes. I swear she could read me like an open book and I wondered why she even put up with me. I hoped it was because she was beginning to love me back, but hated to ponder much because I always returned to… what if she doesn’t?
“Thank you.” I took her hand from where she held it and brought it to my lips to kiss. I lifted my eyes to see her reaction and was pretty damn happy to see that smile of hers. I smiled back and put the car in drive. Time to get my girl home alone where I could act on all those things I really wanted to do with her.
♥
The chicken parmigiana in my mouth was perfectly prepared with succulent meat, savory sauce, and spices, but the company sitting across from me at my table was even better.
I’d watched her make it earlier while I worked from my laptop. Sort of. I’d come out and set up on the kitchen bar and got to look over and smile at her sometimes. I enjoyed the sounds of her working in the kitchen very much. It was a nice feeling along with the delicious smells coming from a room I rarely spent much time in. Smells of our dinner that Brynne was making with her lovely hands.
Pretty fucking sexy stuff if you ask me.
It was different than what Annabelle did for me—an employee who cleaned and cooked things and labeled them in the freezer. This was something real. A thing people do because they care, not because they are being paid.
Having a woman in my home cooking for me was not something I had any experience with either. But I was pretty sure I could get used to it. Yup. Brynne had me hooked. Brilliant, sexy, beautiful, accomplished, a damn fine cook—and beyond fine spread out underneath me in my bed. Did I mention sexy and beautiful? I thought about bedtime for us later.
I took another bite and savored the taste. She had her hair up in one of those claw clips and a deep v-necked top in crimson that drew my eyes right down to her mouth watering nipples which were budded up nicely and screaming for my mouth. A few long strands of hair had slipped from her hair clip and rested over the swells of her cleavage. Mmmmm…delicious.
“I’m glad you think so. This is really simple to make,” she said.
I watched her mouth and lips as she took a sip of wine, totally shocked I had spoken aloud and glad she thought I was merely talking about the food. “How did you learn to cock so well?” I sputtered, “I mean cook!”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
I gave her a grin and a wink. “You do both so well, baby, my cock and the cooking part.”
“You idiot,” she scolded. “I watched cooking shows and learned. My dad let me experiment on him after the divorce. You can ask him about when I first started cooking.” She laughed and speared another bite of dinner and popped it into her mouth. “But better not ask him about when I started cocking you!”
I laughed at myself and hung my head. “Not as good as this food you’ve made tonight then?”
“Not even close. My first attempts were awful, and Daddy paid the price. He never complained though.”
“Your dad is no fool, and he loves you so very much.”
“I’m glad you two talked it out. He really does like you, Ethan. He respects you a lot.” She smiled at me.
“Ahhh, well I feel the same about him.” I hesitated before bringing up her mum, but figured I should. “I don’t think your mum was too impressed with me today though. Sorry about that. I thought it best to introduce myself and tell her what I was doing in your life—I probably could have said it more tactfully though.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. She actually said she’s glad you’re watching out for me, and that you sounded determined to make sure nothing happens…”
I caught the falter in her voice and wanted nothing more than to reassure her, but waited for her to finish.
“She thinks you’re obsessed with me though.” Brynne toyed with her chicken.
I shrugged. “I didn’t hold back with her, it’s true. I told your mum how I feel about you.”
She smiled at me. “She told me that too. Pretty brave of you, Ethan.”
“Telling the truth is not brave, it’s expected.” I shook my head. “It’s important to me that your parents know I’m not just providing security for their daughter.” I reached a hand toward her. “It’s important that you know that too, Brynne, because you’re so much more to me.”
She put her hand into mine and I gripped it, closing my eyes as well as my fingers around the delicate bones of her hand. The same lovely hand that had made my dinner tonight, and tied my tie this morning. The same hand that would be touching my body when I took her to bed and laid her out in a very short while from now.
“You are too, Ethan.”
I felt that possessiveness come over me again. I swear it worked like a switch. One minute I was tolerating our situation well, or thought I was, and then something was spoken, or alluded to, and bam, I went into—I need to fuck you now—land.
Her words were all I needed to hear. I rose up from my chair and took her with me, picking her up with my arms and feeling those long legs of hers wrap around my waist so I could carry her out of the dining room and into the bedroom.
She held the sides of my face and kissed me madly the whole way I carried her. I wasn’t complaining. I loved it when she was all sexed up. And Brynne could be like that.
Thank. Fuck.
I peeled her top and bottoms off her, not waiting for the foreplay of stripping, needing to see her body before I totally lost it. She had on a violet bra and a black thong. I groaned down at her from above. “What are you trying to do, woman, kill me?”
She smiled and slowly shook her head back and forth. “Never,” she whispered.
I leaned down and kissed her slow and sweet for that answer, but my heart was beating hard and fast. God, I loved how she was with me, so soft and alluring—accepting of me.
I loved many things about her.
I flipped her over onto her stomach and unhooked that pretty bra and ditched the thong. I just took in the sight and breathed out, dragging my hands down her back, her hips, the cheeks of her lovely ass and then back up again.
Once she was naked, I calmed some and slowed it down. I left my clothes on and stretched out beside her. She turned her face to mine and we just stared at each other.
I reached for the hair clip and took it away, spreading her hair out on her back and shoulders. Brynne had long, silky hair. I loved to touch it and drag my fingers through pieces of it. I loved when it whipped my chest when she was on top of me working out my cock. I loved to grab a huge handful and hold her with it while I fucked her to a shattering orgasm and she cried out my name.
But I didn’t do any of that tonight. Instead I worked her over slowly and carefully, getting into all the places I have to be with my tongue and my fingers, making her come and come again before I got undressed and my cock into her.
We fit beautifully together like this. Sex with her shattered me down to my deepest levels of complexity; even if Brynne wasn’t aware, I was. I don’t even know what I said to her during the heat of it. I say all kinds of things to her because she likes my filthy mouth. She told me so. It’s a damn good thing too because I cannot help it. The filter between my brain and my mouth is pretty much nonexistent.
I still didn’t know what I said to her after the explosive orgasm that had me so drained I began drifting off to sleep still buried inside her and hoped she let me stay there for a while.
But I knew it when she said, “I love you too.”
My eyes flew open and I stared into the dark and held on to her. I replayed the sound of those words over and over and over again.
Fuck. They’re going to do it. My heart started to pump as fear like I’d never known raced on adrenaline charged veins throughout my body. I’d been waiting for this to come. Deep down I knew it would but to save my sanity I’d pushed it away. Denial worked for a while but the time for th
at had expired.
“Are you ready?” he asked me. The creature who asked the question was the one I wanted to gut, and leave to leak out slowly. The one who talked about HER. The one who taunted all the time about hurting her.
Fuck, NOOOOO!
I shook my head as he advanced on me, his face very close, the smoke from his clove handrolled swirling and tantalizing, making my mouth water. Funny how I could crave a cigarette in a moment like this, but I did. I would’ve pulled the fuckin’ thing out of his mouth and shoved it in mine if I could’ve.
My arms were pinned from behind by another and my nose plugged. I tried to hold my breath and go out that way but my body betrayed me. The second I gasped in a breath he poured something vile down my throat. I tried to keep the elixir from going down, but again my body took over in a basic function to keep me breathing. How ironic. They were drugging me in order to execute me…so I wouldn’t fight the process…so they could videotape my death and show it around the world.
No. No! NO!
I fought it with everything I possessed but he just laughed at my efforts. I felt tears squeeze out of my eyes but I was sure I wasn’t crying. I never cried.
He barked out the order and then I saw it. The camera. A subordinate set it up on a tripod while I stared and let the tears roll out as the opium started its hold upon me.
I was indeed crying I realized.
But not for the reasons they thought. I cried for my dad and for my sister. For my girl. They would have to see this…thing…be done to me. The whole world would watch. She would see.
“Introduce yourself!” He ordered.
I shook my head and gestured to the camera. “No video! No VIDEO, you cocksucker! NO FUCKING VIDEO—”
The backhand across my mouth was so brutal it shut me up by force of the blow. He barked another order at the one with the video camera who aimed the lens at my tags and read in halting English: “Blackstone, E. SAS. Captain. Two nine one five zero one.”
He started toward me again, this time he pulled a khukri out of its sheath. The blade was curved and finely honed. Even in my weakening ability to react to what was coming from the drugs, I could see the tool was well prepared for the job it was about to do.
I thought of my mum. I’d wanted her all my life and now more than ever. I wasn’t brave. I was afraid to die. What would happen to Brynne? Who would protect her from them once I was gone?
Oh, God…
“No video. No video. No video. No video,” was all I could utter. And if the sound was no longer an utterance capable via my mouth then it would be the last thing in my mind along with, “I’m so sorry, Dad. Hannah. Brynne…I’m so fucking sorry…”
“Ethan! Baby, wake up. You’re having a dream.” The sweetest voice met my ears and the softest hands touched me.
I bolted up gasping, consciousness cranking me into a state of hyper-alertness. Her hands fell away as I slammed into the headboard and sucked in oxygen. Poor Brynne, eyes wide, looked horrified as she sat up with me in bed.
“Oh, fuck!” I panted, accepting the reality of where I was.
Breathe, motherfucker!
I’d done this many times. It was only in my head. Not real. But here I sat, losing my shit royally in front of my girl. It had to be scary for her and I regretted that deeply. I felt like I might be sick.
She reached out again, the cool touch of her hand on my chest grounding me, bringing me back to the here and now. Brynne was right here next to me in the bed, not in that fucked up dream again. I kept bringing her into my nightmares. Why in the hell was I doing that?
She scooted closer and I clutched at her hand on my chest, needing her touch like a lifeline.
“What was that about, Ethan? You were shouting stuff and thrashing all over the place in the bed. I couldn’t wake you—”
“What did I say?” I cut her off.
“Ethan,” she said soothingly, reaching for my face, her fingers grazing my jaw.
“What did I say?” I yelled, grabbing her hand and holding it out from my body, feeling the urge to retch at the thought of what might have come out of my mouth. She flinched back and my heart broke for frightening her, but I had to know. I stared at her in the dark and tried to take in enough oxygen to fill my lungs. A nearly pointless exercise though. There wasn’t enough air in all of London to satisfy me right now.
“You were saying no video over and over. What does that mean, Ethan?”
The sheet had fallen down to her waist, baring her lovely naked breasts in the glow of the moon peeking through the skylights. I saw a wariness in her eyes as she tugged her hand out of my grip and I hated it. I let her go.
“I’m sorry. I—I have dreams sometimes. Sorry for shouting at you.” I lurched out of bed and into the bathroom. I hung over the sink and let the water flow over my head, rinsed my mouth and drank from the faucet. Fuck, I needed to get my shit together—this was so not right. I had to be strong for her. All that stuff was ancient history and buried in the hell of my past. It was not welcome in my present and sure as hell not in my future with Brynne.
Her arms wrapped around me from behind. I could feel her naked against my back and it woke my cock up. She pressed her lips to my scars and kissed. “Talk to me. Tell me what that was back there.” Her soft voice carried the strength of steely determination but there was no way I could bring her into that tortured mess.
No fucking way she’s going there with me. Not her innocent self.
“No. I don’t want to.” I looked into the mirror over the sink and saw myself, water dripping off my hair, Brynne’s arms wrapped from around my sides to rest her hands on my chest where my heart was pounding mercilessly from an immense nightmare of all kinds of fucked up. Yet she was holding me, holding my heart in her beautiful hands. She’d followed me in here to comfort me.
“What video, Ethan? You kept screaming about a video.”
“I’m not talking about it!” I closed my eyes at the sound of my voice against hers, hating the anger in it, hating she had to see me like this.
“Was it because of me? The video of me?” She took her hands away and backed off me. “You said you never saw it.” I could hear the hurt in her voice and imagine where her mind was going with this scenario. She couldn’t be more off the mark.
I lost it then, totally and completely, fearful she might not trust me, terrified she would leave again. I spun around and pulled her against me hard. “No, baby. Not that. Please. It’s not that. It’s me—from the past—a bad time for me in the war.”
“You won’t tell though. Why can’t you say what happened to you—your scars. Ethan?”
She tried to pull away, to make distance between us, but hell if I would allow it. “No, Brynne, I need you. Don’t pull away from me.”
“I’m not—”
I cut her words off with my mouth crushed against hers, owning her with my tongue so deep all she could do was take it. I picked her up and stumbled to the bed with her. I had to be inside her, in every way. I needed the validation that she was here, that I was alive, that she was safe in my care, that I was alive…that she was safe…that I was alive…
“Baby, you’re so beautiful and good for me. You’re fucking everything to me, okay? Tell me that you want me.” I was babbling as I pushed her legs apart with my knees and got two fingers inside her wet heat. I started stroking, working all that spunk from before all around and over her clit how she liked.
“I want you, Ethan,” she answered breathily, her sex heating up for me, ready to take me in. God, I battled the razor’s edge of control when she got all submissive with me—the ultimate turn-on even though she was really the first woman where it worked like that.
“Tell me you’ll let me have all of you. Every part. I want it all, Brynne!”
“I’ll let you!” she cried out. “I’m right here.”
I speared into her mouth again, deep and thorough with my tongue, my fingers moving inside her pussy, getting her wetter still. “Your mout
h is mine when you wrap those raspberry lips around my cock and suck me off.”
She moved underneath me. I dragged away from her lips to latch onto a nipple. I bit down enough to get the moan out of her then sucked deep to plump it back up before doing the same to the other breast. “Your beautiful tits belong to me too. When I bite on them and suck and drive you mad.”
“Oh, God…”
I moved down her body, my fingers still up in her, sliding along her nub, getting her closer to climax. “This sweet honey cunt is always mine when I cram it full of my cock and blow a load of cum up into it.” I whispered more filthy talk and felt sure it got her hotter.
She writhed and rolled her head around and I loved that I was making her wild.
I flicked my tongue over her clit and even put my teeth on it, nipping her flesh until I heard her cry and switched to soothing, ever so gently with a soft touch, stringing her out further and further.
“I need more! Fuck me, Ethan!”
Oh yeah, she was hotter.
Holy hell, I finally had my girl right where I wanted her. I went mad with the taste of her all over my tongue, my taste, her scent, her warmth, the soaking wet, octane-fueled sex!
“I can give you more, baby. I want to give you more.” I pulled my fingers out of her quim, sliding them back to her other hole, and rimmed the opening with my drenched index finger. She gasped in a breath and stilled. I lifted my head and moved up her body, one arm propping me, the other hand free to explore. I slipped just my fingertip inside and met her gaze. She looked wild, her eyes flaring. “I want in here, Brynne. Will you let me fuck your beautiful ass?” I spoke up against her quivering lips and bit on the bottom one, my fingertip still teasing her entrance, waiting for her answer.
“Yes!” It came out a harsh whisper but definitely agreement.