Ethan came over to her.
"Riley. What are you doing here?"
"I called your house but you weren't there so I called your mother. She asked me to come over."
Stacy greeted her with a hug and held it for a minute. "More like demanded she come join us. So wonderful to see you again, Riley."
The hug was so warm and welcoming, Riley never wanted to let go. "It's nice to see you again, too."
"Now, what would you like to drink? Hot chocolate?"
Riley nodded. "That would be great. Thanks."
"Good. I'll be right back."
"I'll go work your Scrabble words while you're gone," Roger said.
Stacy shot him a glare. "You even so much as peek anywhere near my side of the table and I'll hobble your other leg."
Roger narrowed his gaze. "You're cutthroat, woman." He turned and gave Riley a wink. "She thinks I cheat."
Ethan rolled his eyes. "Duh, Dad. You do cheat."
Roger lifted his chin. "Do not. I just can't spell good so your mother takes that advantage and uses it against me."
"Are we going to play here or what?" Brody asked. "I'm ahead of you and Wyatt and I intend to kick your butts."
"I need to talk to Riley."
"Well make it fast. And hi, Riley. Nice to see you around here again. Try to visit more than once every ten years, will ya?"
"Thanks, Brody. Nice to see you again too. And I'll try. And hi, Wyatt."
"Uh huh." Wyatt offered up a half-assed wave, then lifted a bottle of beer to his lips.
Ethan led her out of the room and into the formal living room. They took seats on the sofa. "Ignore Wyatt. He's got a major chip on his shoulder. It's not you, trust me. He treats everyone with the exact same amount of disdain."
"Really? Why?"
"It's his divorce a couple years ago. He's still carrying a grudge and isn't fond of women in general."
"Oh. Ouch. I'm sorry."
Ethan shrugged. "That's his problem to deal with."
"Where's Zoey?"
"Spending the night at a friend's house."
"Oh. I'm sorry I missed her."
He smiled. "She likes you too. And she had fun at the concert, even though she passed out at the end."
Riley laughed. "It's no problem. It was late. I'm glad she had a good time."
She was stalling. She should tell him why she was here.
"Here's your hot chocolate." Stacy handed her a steaming mug, then hovered while Riley sipped.
She moaned. "It's just how I remembered. Thick, with an overabundance of marshmallows. It's wonderful."
Stacy beamed. "I'm glad you like it."
Ethan looked up at his mother. "Uh, Mom?"
"Oh. Oh, of course. If you'll excuse me, I'd better go get back to Scrabble before Roger steals all my tiles."
She left the room, and Riley turned to Ethan. "It's about the interview you're doing tomorrow."
He frowned. "The one with the biography people?"
"Yes. Please don't do it."
"Why not?"
Did she have to spell it out? "You know why not. I can't believe you even agreed to it. The history between us, what happened between you and Amanda. Do you really want all of that broadcast?"
He gave her the kind of indulgent smile he probably gave his daughter when she was overtired and acting out. "Do you really think I'm going to give them details? How dumb do you think I am, Riley? All they want to talk about is us dating in high school. I figure I'll toss them a few crumbs and they'll be on their way."
"I'd like to keep that part of my life off limits."
He laughed. "Right. It wasn't off limits in your music, was it?"
Irritation skittered across her pulse, driving up her heartbeat. "No one knew it was you."
"Wrong. Everyone knew it was me. Everyone who counted to me. Maybe none of the millions of your fans, but every single person in this town heard your lyrics and felt sorry for you and turned their eyes to Amanda and me. We couldn't walk down the street together for a long time when your first album came out."
She stood and stared down at him. "Is that why you agreed to the interview? You're looking for a little payback?"
He stood, too. "What do you think I'm going to say to them, Riley? You were the victim in all of this. Nothing I say to them could paint you in a bad light. I did sleep with your best friend, and that's why you couldn't get out of Deer Lake fast enough. Hell, you'll come out of it looking even better, so I don't know why you're worried. You should be pushing me to talk to the media. Think of all the new songs you'll get out of this."
A stab to her heart couldn't have hurt more than his words did. "Is that what you think of me? After all we've been through, is that all you think of me? You believe that I'm back here to eke out some more heartache and song lyrics, Ethan, that I looked forward to reliving the nightmare of ten years ago so I could grab a few songs for my next album? After all, the well might be dry now so maybe you and I could relive old times, or maybe even drum up something new and painful and I could go platinum again. It's all about using each other, isn't it? Because that's what you really think of me, isn't it? That it's all about the fame and the money."
He didn't answer, which was, she supposed, his answer.
She flicked her gaze to the doorway and there stood his mother, his father and his brothers.
Great. Did they all believe the same thing about her?
The walls seemed to close in on her. She couldn't breathe.
She had to get out of here. Now.
Chapter Six
Riley did what she'd always done best. She ran.
She turned and escaped from the room, grabbed the door handle and fled out the front door, realizing as soon as she did that she'd forgotten her coat and that's where she'd slipped the keys to the rental car.
No way was she going back inside that house. Instead, she sprinted past the car and down the street, not even noticing the temps outside until she slowed down to a brisk walk. She hadn't even felt the tears streaming down her cheeks until she was struck by how cold her face was. Her sweater and jeans were no match for the frigid evening temperature, and once her flushed anger ebbed, she realized she was freezing.
She stopped, automatically shoved her hand into her jeans, then rolled her eyes. She'd slipped her cell phone in her coat pocket, too.
She had no one to blame for this fiasco but herself.
She'd acted like a child in there, tossing accusations and arguing with Ethan just like she had with him before she'd run out of town ten years ago. She had a right to be angry at Ethan. The things he'd said to her were unforgiveable. What she should have done was stand her ground and tell him exactly what she thought of him. But no. She'd had to play the victim and run out of the room all hurt.
The running part she was really good at.
Old hurts and angers. Some things didn't change, and some hurts could never be repaired. If she was smart, she'd turn around, go back to Ethan's house and suck up the embarrassment, grab her coat and keys and drive home. It was over a mile walk back to the bed and breakfast and she was not dressed for that.
But dammit, he'd hurt her, and she would not go crawling back there. She had her pride and she refused to humiliate herself any further. It wasn't like she was going to die in a mile. Uncomfortable, yes. Dead, no. She'd send someone over for the car and her coat tomorrow.
Shivering, it didn't take a block and a half before her ears began to sting and she was certain her toes were going to end up with frostbite.
What was the temperature outside anyway?
Okay, maybe a mile in this cold was a little far.
When the first snowflakes started to fall, she laughed.
Perfect.
Dumb, Riley, really. Next time you decide to storm off in a huff, grab your coat first.
She saw headlights and wondered if it was someone she knew. She was so cold she'd offer up an autographed guitar to whoever drove her back to the bed and breakfas
t.
The car slowed and pulled to the curb. She stilled when the window rolled down.
It was Ethan.
"Riley, get in."
She thought for all of a quarter of a second about telling him to stick it, but she wasn't that stupid. She was freezing and she was certain she'd lost a few brain cells. She shuffled her frozen body to the car and slid inside.
Thankfully he had the heater blasting, and her coat was on the seat next to her. She pulled it over her. And then he scooted over toward her.
She shot him a look. "Wha...what are you doing?"
"Warming you." He pulled her against him. "Are you out of your mind running out of the house without a coat? It's five degrees outside."
No wonder she thought she was going to die out there.
She wanted to argue with him, but he'd opened his coat and drew her against his chest and he was so damn warm all she could think about was the heat of his body. She was shivering uncontrollably now and couldn't seem to stop her teeth from chattering.
"I'll be f...f...fine in a minute. Then you c...can let me go."
He rubbed her back and hair, his voice gentle. "I know. I will."
The snow came down harder now, obliterating her vision of the outside. The heater and their breath fogged the windshield and windows, reminding her of what they used to do in his car to steam up the windows. It had a lot to do with body heat, but not because she'd been stupid and walked outside in the cold. Those thoughts and memories coupled with being in his arms again warmed her more than the heater.
"I...I'm..."
"Shhh. Just relax, Riley. Your body is so cold. I'm not going to move this car until you're warm, so you can just listen to me."
She was still shaking, so he was probably right.
"I'm sorry. Really sorry. I was out of line. Seems like I'm always hurting you and I never meant to. The things I said were unforgiveable. It was a knee-jerk reaction."
"More like a jerk reaction."
He laughed, the sound deep and vibrating against his chest.
"You're right there. I was a total jerk. For some reason you bring out the worst in me."
"Gee, thanks."
"Not what I meant. God, Riley, I just make a mess of things when I'm around you, don't I?"
"You seem to." She wasn't going to let him off easy. Not this time.
"If you don't want me to talk to the television people, I won't."
She listened to his heart beating against his chest, so strong and sure. She had always believed in Ethan. From the time she was fourteen years old he'd been her rock, her lifeline, and everything she'd loved.
Until Amanda.
She'd been running away from the answer for so long. It was time to stop and just ask the damn question.
"Tell me about Amanda."
She felt his heart speed up.
"What do you want to know?"
She lifted her head and met his curious, wary gaze. "Why did you choose her over me? I didn't even know you were interested in her."
He offered up a half smile. "I wasn't. She wanted me."
Riley frowned. "No she didn't."
"Honey, she had a thing for me for years. She wanted me as much as she wanted the career you ended up with."
She shook her head. "That's not true. I mean, yes, she was a singer, too. A great singer. Of course that's the career she was after."
Riley and Amanda had met in choir freshman year. Amanda had a beautiful voice, clear and strong. Her parents had spent a fortune on private lessons. Amanda intended to go to college and study music. Fame was in her future, she'd told Riley. She wanted to front a rock band, or become a pop star.
She had the chops for it. Riley had been mesmerized by Amanda's voice. They'd spend hours together at Amanda's house, harmonizing on songs.
They'd become friends and had been inseparable in all things.
Except Amanda had never had a boyfriend. She said she was too busy with her singing lessons to worry about boys. But she'd never begrudged Riley's relationship with Ethan, because Riley had always included her. She'd never shut Amanda out, had always tried to fix her up with guys so they could double date. Amanda went, though it was half hearted. Nothing ever came of those dates. Amanda never seemed intrigued enough by any of the guys to end up with a boyfriend, though she was beautiful, with mink brown hair, emerald green eyes and her captivating voice.
"She never told me she was interested in you. She never even dated anyone long term in high school. I didn't know."
Ethan nodded. "She didn't want you to know. She was so jealous of you, Riley. Of your voice, your relationship with me. You had everything she wanted."
"No. That's not true. That's not the Amanda I knew."
Ethan sighed. "There were parts of her you never knew about. Hell, I didn't even know about them until after you were gone."
"Like what?" She couldn't believe the things he was telling her about Amanda.
"Like her fear that you were more talented than she was, that her voice would never measure up to yours."
"How can that be? I'd never had training, and she'd been taking voice lessons her whole life. Her singing was beautiful."
He swept her hair away from her face. "You've been in the business long enough to know that all the lessons in the world can't compete with raw ability. That's what you had, Riley. You might not have had all the training she had, but you had natural talent, and no training can compare to that. And when it was clear your talent would outshine her, that you were destined for big things, she decided to take the one thing from you she knew she could."
Riley almost couldn't say the word out loud, but knew she had to know the truth. "You."
He nodded.
"How?"
"You sure you want to know all of it?"
"Yes." Because she refused to believe that Ethan loved her one day and just decided to switch to Amanda the next. Though she had believed it, hadn't she? She'd spent the past ten years believing it. Maybe it was time she let Ethan tell her what really happened.
"She called me one night in tears. It was right after graduation and she said she'd been turned down for a scholarship to Julliard, the one and only place she really wanted to go."
"But she'd gotten so many scholarships to so many different schools. She could have chosen from...what? Five or six?"
He shrugged. "I didn't really know what she was talking about, but you know we'd all gotten close. She was always where you were, so I considered her a friend. I trusted her. I don't remember where you were. She said she couldn't get hold of you and there was no one else to talk to, so I went over there to give her some comfort because she was pretty freaked out. We were drinking beer, then whiskey. Her parents were gone, and you know Amanda always had a lot of freedom and access to whatever she wanted. And then we were drinking a lot. I was trying to make her feel better. It was stupid. We were talking and talking and I thought I had relaxed her by making her laugh. Hell, I was drunk as hell. Next thing I know it's morning. I wake up in bed with Amanda naked next to me, and you're standing there."
"Did you have sex with her?"
He shrugged. "No. At least I don't think I did, but maybe I did. I don't even remember what happened that night. Does it matter? I shouldn't have put myself in the position to be alone with her. I should have called you right away. I shouldn't have been there drinking with her. It was stupid and I let her manipulate me, but I had to take responsibility for being there, even if nothing happened. I knew from the look in your eyes you believed what you saw."
She had believed it. She and Amanda had plans that morning. Plans Amanda had organized. She'd walked into Amanda's room and found the boy she loved naked in bed with her best friend.
She'd believed right away what she saw, put two and two together and figured Ethan had slept with Amanda, that Ethan had seduced her best friend. She'd assumed she hadn't been enough for him, that he'd wanted what Amanda could offer him.
And she'd never spoken to e
ither of them again. Hurt and rage had taken over, and she'd left town the next day without asking for explanations, without seeing Ethan again.
It had been a knee-jerk reaction, a youthful reaction.
"So she manipulated us both."
"I guess."
"Why did you marry her?"
"She was pregnant. And it was mine. Or so she told me."
"You got proof?"
"She showed me the pregnancy test. I had no choice but to believe her. You said it yourself. She was never around other guys."
Her eyes widened. "You mean she got pregnant after that night?"
"Yeah, I guess, because I didn't sleep with her again after that."
"So you did have sex with her."
He laughed. "I have no idea. I don't think I did. If I did, I sure as hell don't remember it, but I wasn't one hundred percent confident, so I was kind of stuck. I couldn't deny I was in bed with her that morning."
"What about her scholarship? Did she really lose it?"
"Doubtful. I think she was just afraid she'd never be as good as you. And she'd taken me away from you, so that was her triumph. So I married her. And then she miscarried a couple months later."
"I'm sorry, Ethan."
He dragged his fingers through his hair and laughed. "You know what? So was I at the time. As hurt and angry as I was with her, I was still upset when she lost the baby. I didn't love her, but I wanted the kid."
"You didn't love her?"
"No. I never loved her. I did what was right and took responsibility. I screwed up and I paid the price for making a mess of my life. But I was in love with you, not her."
Riley's heart squeezed. She so wanted to believe that. "But you stayed married to her."
He let out a short laugh. "Yeah. I did."
"Why?"
He lifted his gaze to hers, the pain in his eyes so raw she wanted to run from it. "Because when I commit to someone, I honor that commitment. I said I was going to be with her until death do us part. That meant something to me."
Riley blinked back the tears. That was Ethan. Once he had committed to her, he'd stuck by her side. Until she'd left him, hadn't allowed him to explain what happened that night with Amanda.
"Did you ever love her?"
"I'd like to say yes. You knew her. She might have been a little spoiled, but she had her moments. She was fun and a little wild and crazy. And she could be so sweet and loving. And then we had Zoey."