Ginger Biscuits
Makes About 24
3 oz/85 g all-purpose flour
3 oz/85 g old-fashioned rolled oats
2½ oz/70 g sugar
1 (2-in/5-cm) piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped or grated
1 tsp ground ginger
½ tsp baking soda
4 oz/113 g butter
1 Tbsp maple syrup or golden syrup
1 Tbsp milk
Preheat the oven to 300°F/150°C. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Combine the flour, oats, sugar, fresh ginger, ground ginger, and baking soda in a large bowl and mix well. Melt the butter, syrup, and milk in a saucepan and mix into the dry ingredients. Pop the dough into the fridge for about 5 minutes, until it has firmed up and cooled.
Now put heaped teaspoons of dough on the baking sheets spaced well apart, as they spread while baking. Flatten the top of each biscuit with the back of a spoon and bake 10 to 20 minutes, until lightly browned. Allow them to cool on the baking sheets; otherwise they would disintegrate. When they are cool enough to move, transfer to a wire rack. Store in an airtight container.
Guinness Gingerbread
Makes 1 cake
10½ oz/298 g all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp ground ginger
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice or Chinese five-spice powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
8 oz/227 g butter, softened
8 oz/227 g brown sugar
2 eggs plus 1 egg yolk
9 oz/265 ml molasses or treacle
6 oz/180 ml Guinness, flat
Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C. Grease and flour a 9 by 5-in/23 by 12-cm loaf tin.
Sift the flour, ginger, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together into a large bowl. In a separate bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add the eggs and yolk, and then the molasses and continue to beat until well mixed. Gradually add the flour mixture alternating with the Guinness; do not overbeat.
Pour the batter into the prepared tin and bake for 50 minutes to an hour, until well risen and firm to the touch.
Allow the cake to cool in the tin for a few minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely, covered with a damp tea towel. Now you can of course eat it right away, and it really does make a nice dessert served with cream or ice cream. However, if you wrap the gingerbread in parchment and leave it in an airtight tin for a day or two, it will become more moist and delicious. Some people enjoy this with butter.
Kinky’s Note:
If you find that your brown sugar has gone hard and you need to use it immediately just put it in a microwave-safe container with a piece of damp paper towel and a lid. Then microwave it on high for about 30 seconds and test it for softness. If it is still hard just give it another 30 seconds. To soften brown sugar that you do not need to use right away just put it in an airtight container, add a piece of well-moistened paper towel, cover, and leave it until the sugar absorbs the moisture. Then remove the paper and replace the lid.
Orange Sponge Cake
This is a very easy and quick-to-make cake using the “all in one” method.
Makes 1 Sandwich Cake
CAKE
6 oz/170 g butter, softened
6 oz/170 g sugar
3 eggs, at room temperature
Grated zest of 1 orange, plus juice of ½ orange
6 oz/170 g self-rising flour
1 tsp baking powder
ICING
9 oz/255 g mascarpone cheese
2 oz/56 g butter, softened
6 oz/170 g confectioners’ sugar
Finely grated zest of 1 orange
FOR THE CAKE:
Preheat the oven to 325°F/170°C. Grease and flour two 8-inch/20-cm cake tins.
Using an electric mixer, beat the butter, sugar, eggs, and orange zest and juice for about a minute. Sift the flour and baking powder into a large bowl and fold this into the beaten egg and butter mixture. The mixture should now be a soft dropping consistency but if it is not, just add a little more orange juice from the unused half. Now divide the mixture between the prepared tins, smooth the tops, and bake for 30 to 35 minutes. With your finger, lightly touch the centre and if it leaves no impression and the cake springs back, they are done. Allow to cool in the tins for a shmall little minute. Gently loosen the sides of the cakes with a palette knife and ease them carefully out of the tins onto a wire rack. Allow them to cool completely.
FOR THE ICING:
Using an electric mixer, beat all the ingredients together. Place one cake on a serving plate and spread with half the icing. Place the second cake on top and spread the top and sides with the remaining icing.
Very Easy Boiled Fruit Cake
Makes 2 Cakes
1lb/455 g dried fruit (raisins, sultanas, apricots, dates, cranberries, etc.)
8 oz/227 g sugar
10 oz/295 ml warm tea
1 egg
2 Tbsp marmalade
8 oz/227 g all-purpose flour
8 oz/227 g whole-wheat flour
4 tsp baking powder
Put the fruit, sugar, and tea in a large bowl and leave to soak overnight.
The next day preheat the oven to 325°F/160°C. Grease and flour two 9 by 5-inch/23 by 12-cm baking tins. Stir the egg and marmalade into the fruit mixture, then stir in the flours and baking powder. Divide the batter between the two tins. Bake for 1½ hours, until well risen and beginning to shrink from the sides of the tin. Test by pressing gently with a finger; if done, the cake should spring back. Allow the cake to cool in the tin for a few minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely. Serve sliced, with butter.
This cake keeps well in an airtight tin for up to four weeks, or it would, if my great friends Aggie Arbuthnot and Flo Bishop did not have such an acute sense of smell and knew when I had just baked it. Still, it’s nice to sit down and have a good yarn and a cup of tea with friends.
Quick Flaky Pastry
Makes 1 Pie Case 9 inch/23 cm
6½ oz/184 g all-purpose flour
4 oz/113 g lard or margarine
½ tsp salt
A pinch of baking powder
4 tsp cider vinegar
2 oz/60 ml ice water
Chill the fat in the freezer for several hours. In a large bowl, combine the flour, salt, and baking powder. Chop the lard or grate it, using a coarse cheese grater, into the flour (or briefly process the dry ingredients and lard in a food processor). Mix the vinegar and a little water together and stir into the flour. Don’t add too much water to begin with, as you can add more later, if needed. Rest the pastry, wrapped in cling film, in the refrigerator for about 1 hour. Then roll out onto a very well-floured work surface and chill in the refrigerator until needed.
Kinky’s Note:
1. If you use whole-wheat flour for the rolling out, it adds a nice crunchy texture to the pastry.
2. If you are baking a blind pie shell I think it is preferable to use a metal pie tin as it gives a crisper finish than a ceramic or glass dish. You can always transfer it to a ceramic or glass dish when adding the filling.
Candy AND Treats
These are lovely treats and are so simple to make and sure isn’t it lovely to have some in the house when children drop by? But maybe keep the truffles for the grown-ups?
Chocolate Truffles
Makes 12 to 18
12 oz/340 g good-quality dark chocolate (at least 70% cocoa), chopped
9 oz/265 ml heavy cream
4 oz/113 g unsalted butter, softened
1 Tbsp brandy
1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Melt the chocolate in a large bowl over a saucepan containing just simmering hot water. Do not let the base of the bowl touch the water. Blend in the cream, butter, and brandy using a whisk or electric mixer. Cover and refrigerate over
night.
Sift the cocoa onto a plate. Using a teaspoon or a melon baller, scoop out balls of the mixture and roll between your palms, then in the cocoa. Place each in a paper case. If the mixture is too firm to work with just warm it up a bit. If it gets too soft, let it chill and start again. Keep the truffles in the fridge until you are ready to serve them.
Kinky’s Note.
You can, of course, vary the flavour by adding ground nuts, whiskey, or vanilla extract.
Fudge
Makes about 50 squares
1 (14-oz/400-g) tin condensed milk
4 oz/120 ml milk
4 oz/113 g butter
1 tsp salt
16 oz/455 g demerara or brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
Line a 7 by 11-inch/18 by 28-cm baking tin with greased parchment or grease a nonstick pan. Melt the condensed milk, ordinary milk, and butter over a low heat in the biggest heavy-bottomed saucepan you can find. Add the salt, then gradually add the sugar, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Then turn the heat up high and watch that the mixture does not boil over. Continue to boil for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring often and making sure that the bottom of the mixture is not burning. The colour will change from a creamy white to a shade of light brown and the temperature will register about 240°F /116°C. A drop of the mixture dropped into icy cold water will form a soft ball of fudge.
Using an electric mixer in a bowl, beat the fudge with the vanilla for about 5 minutes and pour into the baking tin. Allow to cool until almost but not quite set and mark into squares with a sharp knife. When cold, cut into squares and store in an airtight container.
Peppermint Creams
Makes about 12
1 egg white
8 oz/227 g confectioners’ sugar
3 or 4 drops peppermint extract
Green food colouring (optional)
Beat the egg white in a bowl and sift in the sugar (through a sieve). Add the peppermint extract, the food colouring (if using) and mix into a paste. Taste to check for flavour and add more peppermint if necessary. Sprinkle some confectioners’ sugar on the kitchen worktop. Knead the paste on the worktop. Then sprinkle more confectioners’ sugar on the rolling pin and roll out flat to about ¼ inch/0.5 cm thick.
Using a tiny round or star-shaped cutter, cut out the peppermint creams and place on a plate covered with parchment paper. Then cover with a clean tea towel and leave in the fridge for an hour or so. You could store them in an airtight box—but they are so delicious they will soon disappear.
Yellow Man
This is a brittle honeycombed hard toffee sweet made famous by the ballad “The Ould Lamas Fair at Ballycastle.”
CHORUS
At the ould Lammas Fair boys were you ever there
Were you ever at the Fair in Ballycastle-O?
Did you treat your Mary Ann to some Dulse and Yellow Man
At the ould Lammas Fair in Ballycastle-O?
The Lammas Fair has been held for some 400 years in Ballycastle, County Antrim, in the North of Northern Ireland on the last Monday and Tuesday in August. The Fair marks the end of summer and the beginning of the harvest and is visited each year by thousands of visitors. Live sheep and goats, hens and chickens, and traditional music give it a carnival atmosphere. As well as some 400 stalls of farm produce and crafts, there are local specialities such as dulse (a dried edible seaweed often served free in public houses to give the patrons “a thirst”) and Yellow Man (a very hard honeycomb toffee suitable for teeth extraction).
Makes about 40 pieces
18 oz/500 g corn syrup or golden syrup
9 oz/255 g brown sugar
2 Tbsp vinegar
2 Tbsp water
1½ Tbsp butter
2 Tbsp baking soda
Grease a 7 by 11-in/18 by 28-cm Swiss roll pan and set aside. Very slowly heat everything except the baking soda in a heavy-bottomed saucepan but do not stir. Boil until the temperature reaches 240°F/190°C. You can test a drop on a cold plate or in water to see if it will harden. Gently stir in the baking soda; the mixture will immediately foam up. Using an electric mixer, beat for a couple of minutes and pour into the pan. Allow to cool and break into pieces with a hammer. Store in an airtight tin.
Christmas Dreams
For once I’m going to tell you a story that does not concern my senior partner, Doctor Fingal Flahertie O’Reilly. This one’s about a little boy, a little girl, a chimney sweep, and Christmas dreams.
It was the day before Christmas Eve. I had been making a home visit to the Browns because Lenny had put his back out. Bed rest and aspirins would see him right. Connie had offered me a cup of tea and a biscuit and as it was my last call I had accepted. Biscuits today, but after midnight mass on Christmas Eve tomorrow we’d be going back to Number One Main Street for eggnog and slices of Kinky’s Christmas cake.
We were sitting in the lounge chatting and watching young Colin Brown playing with his white mouse, Snowball, and his cousin from Larne, seven-year-old Nancy Grierson.
She was a pretty child. She had her long blonde hair tied up with green ribbons in two bunches that hung from the sides of her head. Her cornflower-blue eyes were set in an oval face and smiled out past a button nose.
Someone knocked at the front door.
“That’ll be Mister Gilligan, the chimney sweep. I’ll go and let him in,” Connie rose, “but sit where you are, Doctor. Finish your tea.”
Colin said, “I think it would be wheeker to be a sweep.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because they can get as dirty as they like and nobody minds. My mammy’s always going on about washing behind my ears or telling me, ‘there’s enough muck on the back of your neck to make a lazy bed and grow potatoes, Colin Brown, so there is.’”
“And I’d still tell you to wash it if you were one,” Connie said.
Mister Gilligan came in and greeted me and said, “Don’t mind me, Doc. I’ll just get on with my job.” He started spreading a big canvas sheet like a second carpet in front of the living room fireplace.
Connie said, “We had ferocious blow-downs last night. Lenny said there was too much soot in the flue and it could catch fire and set the whole house alight. So it had to be swept. It’s not been done for a couple of years.”
“Two-and-a-half,” said Mister Gilligan, “since I done the job. It needed doing then and it needs doing now.” He knelt and began attaching a special wide piece of cloth to the front of the grate. It had a hole in the centre through which protruded a bamboo pole with a brass screw fitting. The brush head was on the far side of the cloth and already in the flue.
“It’s a good thing Mister Gilligan came, isn’t it, Colin?” Nancy said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and Santa’s coming.” She smiled up at him. “And you’ll want to send your letter to Santa tomorrow evening when your Daddy lights the fire. I’m going to ask Santa for a doll’s pram and a skipping rope when I get home to Larne.”
I smiled and remembered my own childhood. You wrote the letter asking for your heart’s desires, then put the missive on the fire. Even after it had burned you could still make out the words as the charred paper whirled up the chimney and straight to the North Pole. Miraculously on Christmas morning much of what you had asked for had appeared in your bedroom or under the tree.
“Aye,” said Mister Gilligan, “and your Daddy, Colin, can’t light a fire until I’ve done my job.” He screwed another bamboo rod into the fitting on its predecessor and pushed. Another bamboo rod. Another push.
I was aware of a smell of soot.
Colin said, “Never mind my letter not getting to Santa. How do you think he’d like to come down a chimney that’s clogged with soot?”
“Oooh,” Nancy said and her eyes widened. “He’d get all dirty.”
“I think,” said Colin, with all the weight of his eleven years, “I think he comes in through the front door. I don’t see how he c
ould get Donner and Blitzen and all the other reindeer, them all harnessed with their jingle bells, and his sleigh up on our wee roof.”
“Do you not?” asked Mister Gilligan. “Now there’s a thing.”
Colin was going to argue and say that it would be much easier for a man with Santa’s big tummy to come in through the door. He’d never fit through the flue. Then he saw Nancy looking puzzled. He kept his mouth shut.
She frowned and said, “Daddy says he comes down the chimney. That’s why we leave him eggnog and biscuits and carrots for his reindeer. We put them in the hearth and they’re always gone in the morning. He does come down the flue. So there.”
“You’re likely right,” said Colin. I could tell that he was not convinced. He turned to the sweep. “Are you nearly finished?”
Mister Gilligan screwed in one more rod. “Aye. Just about, but I’m going to need your help.”
“Wheeker,” Colin said. “Can I push on the rods like you?”
Mister Gilligan laughed. “That’s not what I need help with.”
Colin sighed.
The sweep stood up. “Come on outside, the pair of you.” He headed for the door and Colin, holding Nancy’s hand, followed. “Get your coats and hats and gloves,” Mister Gilligan said.
Colin helped Nancy into hers, then put on his own.
I rose and said, “I’ll be running along too, Connie. Thanks for the tea and don’t worry about Lenny. I’ll pop in tomorrow to see him.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” She followed me to the front door.
Outside in the garden, although the sun shone down from an enamel-blue sky, even at two in the afternoon there was still a heavy rime of frost sparkling on the little lawn. The ice on a puddle in the path crackled when I trod on it.
Across the Shore Road and past the sea wall the wind chivvied the waves of Belfast Lough like a sheep dog chases the sheep. The rollers turned to foam as they rushed up the shallowing shore. The breakers rolled the pebbles on the shingly beach, making a noise like a thousand kettle drums.