It was nippy enough out here, but I stopped to watch the final act.
Colin glanced at Nancy. Already her nose had turned red. “Right,” said Mister Gilligan. “First of all I have to go up on the roof.” He pointed to the chimney pots. “That one there is the pot for the living room. That wire netting has to come off, because the brush has to get out.”
“I see,” Colin said, staring at a conical wire-mesh contraption sitting on top of the chimney pot. “Daddy says it’s to stop jackdaws nesting in the chimney.”
“That’s right. So I’m going to nip up my ladder, take the wire off, then I’m going back inside. Your job … both of you … is to watch until my brush pops out of the chimney, then run back in and tell me.”
“We’ll do that, won’t we, Nancy?”
She smiled and nodded.
The sweep turned, then half-turned back. “Just one wee thing, Colin.”
“What?”
“Are you quite sure Santa can’t get his reindeer on your roof?”
“I … That wee roof? Eight big reindeer? No way.” He glanced at Nancy, who was listening to every word and frowning. Her lower lip trembled. He sighed. “… I don’t know,” he said.
That, I thought, was considerate of the lad.
Mister Gilligan smiled. “I’ll only be a couple of ticks.” He went up the ladder rung by rung.
I watched the sweep cross the neat yellow thatch, unlatch the bird-preventer, swing it over to one side, then head back to his ladder.
“I think he’s awfully brave going up there,” Nancy said. “I’d be scared.”
“I’d not,” Colin said.
She squeezed his hand. “You’re brave too, Colin and you’re older than me.” She looked deeply into his eyes. “I just took a quare good look at those chimney pots.” She swallowed and when next she spoke I heard a catch in her voice. “They’re awfully wee. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Santa does come in through the front door.”
I sensed tears were not far away, a cherished dream about to be shattered, and didn’t know what to say.
“Excuse me,” Mister Gilligan, who had clambered down, said. “Were you two arguing about whether or not Santa comes down the chimney?”
“Not really arguing,” Nancy said sadly. “I think Colin’s right.” She sighed.
“Indeed?” said Mister Gilligan. “Well I found something at the chimney.”
Colin frowned.
“I think you should have them, Nancy.”
He held out his fist, knuckles down, and slowly, slowly uncurled his fingers until, when his hand was completely unclenched, there in the palm of his hand lay two silver sleigh bells.
“Now I wonder,” said he, “who left these behind, and whoever it was what do you think they were doing up there in the first place?”
And Colin smiled, and Nancy laughed, and her dream was restored in all its glory. Merry Christmas. Peace on Earth. Goodwill to all.
ULSTER CHRISTMAS RECIPES
Och, Christmas, isn’t it a grand time? And here in Ireland we do have our own traditions. We always keep a lighted candle in the window on Christmas Eve in case Joseph and Mary are looking for a place to stay. I clean Number One from top to bottom so if they do come they’ll know they’re in a well-kept house, so. The candle should be lit by the youngest member of the family and only extinguished by a girl called Mary. Willie Dunleavy, the publican’s daughter of that name, is kept busy on Christmas Day. And after supper on Christmas Eve the table is set with a loaf of bread filled with caraway seeds and raisins and a jug of milk, and a large candle is lit. The front door is not locked so Joseph and Mary or indeed any traveller in need would be welcome. And while the Germans might have introduced the Christmas tree, us Irish were the first to hang a holly wreath on the front door. And there it and the house decorations stayed until Little Christmas, January the sixth. You’d have bad cess if you took them down sooner.
And one other thing. There’s a joke about the Irishman asking the priest on Christmas Eve, “Father, what time’s midnight mass?” It’s not as daft as it sounds. Most churches now have the Christmas Eve services much earlier these days.
And if you wish to wish a Gaeilgeior, an Irish speaker, merry Christmas just say Nollaig shona duit (null-ig hun-a dit). And that’s my wish for you and I hope you are going to enjoy these Christmas recipes
Turkey with Stuffing and Gravy
To make the gravy that accompanies this turkey, you will need to first use the giblets, heart and gizzard, and wingtips to make a stock. This is best done the day before the turkey is roasted.
Serves 6 to 8
1 (10–12 lbs/4½ to 5½ kg) turkey, giblets and wingtips removed and used for Gravy (here)
1 oz/28 g butter, plus extra to rub over the breast
1 onion, finely chopped
8 oz/227 fresh white bread crumbs
3 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
3 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 egg, beaten
1 apple, peeled
Sea salt
Remove the turkey from the refrigerator about an hour before you are going to cook it to bring it to room temperature. Wash the turkey under cold running water and pat dry, inside and out. Preheat the oven to 400°F/200°C.
Melt the butter in a small frying pan over a medium heat, add the onion, and cook until soft and translucent. Mix with the bread crumbs, parsley, and thyme and season with salt and pepper. Now add the beaten egg to bind.
Carefully pull back the breast skin so that you can slide your hand into the space and put a layer of stuffing over the breast. Bring the skin back over the top and secure it with a couple of skewers. Place any remaining stuffing in the centre cavity with the apple. Rub a little softened butter over the skin and sprinkle with sea salt. Now weigh the turkey complete with stuffing so that you can calculate the cooking time.
Place the turkey in a roasting tin, cover with foil, and cook for 20 minutes. Turn the oven down to 350°F/180°C and continue cooking at this temperature for 15 minutes per 1 lb/455 g of total turkey weight. After about 30 minutes, lift the foil and baste the turkey with the juices. Do this once or twice more, being careful not to let the oven cool down too much. Finally, when about 45 minutes of time remains, take the turkey from the oven, remove the foil, and turn the turkey breast-side down to finish cooking. To test that the turkey is ready, insert a skewer or knife into the thickest part of the bird between the leg and the breast, and if the juices run clear and there is no trace of pink then the turkey is ready. Remove to a carving dish, cover with clean tea towels, and leave to rest while you finish the gravy. Serve with the Cranberry Sauce (here).
Gravy
It is best to make the stock for this gravy at least a day before you cook the turkey.
Serves 6 to 8
Turkey giblets and wingtips
1 onion
1 carrot
2 celery stalks
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp butter, melted
Place the turkey giblets and wingtips in a large saucepan with the onion, carrot, and celery. Add the herbs, salt, and pepper and cover with about 4 pints/2 L of cold water. Bring to the boil and simmer for 2 or 3 hours. Strain and refrigerate until needed. When cold, remove the fat from the stock.
After the roasted turkey has been transferred to a carving dish, pour off the fat from the roasting tin. Set the roasting tin over a medium heat and deglaze it by gradually adding the stock, stirring to loosen the browned bits in the tin. Bring to the boil, stirring all the time. Strain into a saucepan. Mix the flour with the melted butter and whisk into the gravy. Cook, stirring, until thickened and season with salt and pepper to taste.
Glazed Roast Ham
Be sure you buy an uncooked, cured ham, sometimes called a “cook-before-eating” ham. You ma
y need to check with your butcher and order ahead.
Serves 8 to 10
HAM
1 (7–10-lb/3.2 to 4.5-kg) cured uncooked bone-in ham
13 oz/385 ml Guinness
1 onion, quartered
1 Tbsp whole black peppercorns
1 bunch fresh thyme tied with string
3 bay leaves
GLAZE
3½ oz/105 ml Guinness
3 Tbsp whole-grain mustard
3 Tbsp clear honey
2 Tbsp dark brown sugar
A few whole cloves (optional)
FOR THE HAM:
Put a trivet in the bottom of a pot big enough to hold the ham. This will stop the ham from burning on the hot base of the pot. Place the ham on the trivet and pour the Guinness over it. Add the onion, peppercorns, thyme, bay leaves, and enough water to cover the ham. Cover the pot, bring to the boil, and simmer for 30 minutes per 1 pound/455 g of ham, periodically skimming off the surface scum. Add more water if necessary to keep the ham covered.
At the end of the calculated cooking time, turn off the heat and allow the ham to cool in the cooking liquid for at least 30 minutes, or until it’s cool enough to handle. Then transfer the ham to a board and pat dry with paper towels. Using a small sharp knife, cut off the string, then carefully peel away and discard the skin, leaving a layer of fat exposed. Preheat the oven to 450°F/220°C.
FOR THE GLAZE:
Stir the Guinness, mustard, honey, and sugar together in a small saucepan over a gentle heat until the sugar has dissolved.
Score the fat into a diamond pattern. Insert cloves (if using) into the diamonds. Transfer to a roasting tin and, using a pastry brush, paint with the glaze. Roast the ham for 25 to 30 minutes, basting frequently with the glaze. Remove from the oven, cover with foil, and let rest for some 30 minutes. Carve and serve.
Kinky’s Note:
In Ireland, “gammon” refers to raw ham, while “ham” refers to ready to eat. Gammon has been cured in the same way as bacon, whereas ham has been dry-cured or cooked. Once you’ve cooked your gammon, you can call it ham.
Very Easy Bread Sauce
Serves 4
1 onion, peeled
5 whole cloves
20 oz/590 ml milk
2 bay leaves
5 whole black peppercorns
4 oz/113 g fresh white bread crumbs
1½ oz/42 g butter
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Stud the onion with the cloves and place in a saucepan with the milk, bay leaves, and peppercorns. Bring to the boil, then remove from the heat and let infuse for 15 to 20 minutes.
Discard the onion, bay leaves, and peppercorns and stir in the bread crumbs. Cook this very gently over a low heat for about 5 minutes, stirring now and again until the sauce has thickened and the bread crumbs have been incorporated. Stir in the butter and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
Kinky’s Note:
Cloves are very strong-tasting so you really don’t want to eat them. However, by studding the onion like this you just add the flavour. Lots of it.
Sweet Mince
This recipe is a traditional Irish filling for individual mince pies, served warm at Christmas. It has been used in my family down through the ages, although it would originally have contained meat. Now the only meat present is in the suet.
Makes 2 16-oz/450-g jars
8 oz/227 g suet
8 oz/227g tart apples, peeled, cored, and finely chopped
8 oz/227 g raisins
8 oz/227 g currants
6 oz/170 g demerara or brown sugar
4 oz/113 g candied peel, chopped
Grated zest and juice of 1 orange
2 oz/60 ml brandy
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
Sterilise two 16-oz/450-g jars. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Pack into the jars and seal. Store in a cool, dark place until you want to use it.
Kinky’s Note:
My recipe uses Bramley apples but if you cannot find these you could use just about any apples that you like.
Brandy Butter
Instead of brandy sauce, here’s another wee Christmas speciality of mine I want to tell you about which goes down a right treat with your mince pies or Christmas pudding and it’s made in no time at all.
Serves 6 to 8
4 oz/113 g unsalted butter, softened
4 oz/113 g confectioners’ sugar
3 Tbsp brandy
2 Tbsp boiling water
Cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in the brandy and water until smooth. Chill until needed and serve with hot mince pies or Christmas pudding.
Christmas Cake
with Royal Icing and Marzipan
Serves 20
8 oz/227 g butter
8 oz/227 g brown sugar
4 eggs
8 oz/227 g all-purpose flour
2 oz/56 g ground almonds
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp salt
8 oz/227 g raisins
8 oz/227 g muscatel raisins
8 oz/227 g sultanas
8 oz/227 g currants
4 oz/113 g glacé cherries
4 oz/113 g mixed peel
Grated zest of 1 orange
Grated zest of 1 lemon
Confectioners’ sugar
Marzipan (recipe follows)
2 Tbsp apricot jam
Royal Icing (recipe follows)
Preheat the oven to 275°F/140°C. Grease an 8-inch/20-cm cake tin and line with parchment paper so that the paper extends above the sides by 1 inch/2.5 cm.
Using an electric mixer, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating in well. Stir in the flour, almonds, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, and salt. Finally add the raisins, currants, cherries, mixed peel, and zests. Pour the mixture into the prepared tin. Bake for 3 hours. Check for readiness by inserting a thin skewer. When it comes out clean, the cake is done. Allow the cake to cool in the tin for a few minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container until you are ready to ice it.
Place the Christmas cake on a cake plate or foil board. Dust your hands and work surface with a little confectioners’ sugar and knead the marzipan until soft. Roll out half of it to fit the top of the cake and the rest to fit round the sides.
Warm the apricot jam, then brush the cake with the jam and place the marzipan on top. Cover with a tea towel and leave for a day or two. Spread the royal icing over the top and sides of the cake.
Kinky’s Note:
You can buy marzipan and royal icing or make your own. But whichever you do, please make sure that you leave the cake for a few days after you put the marzipan on it, so the marzipan will dry out before you go putting on the royal icing, or you’ll spoil it, so.
Marzipan
Makes enough to cover an 8-in/20-cm cake
5½ oz/156 g ground almonds
5 oz/142 g superfine sugar
Juice of ½ lemon
10 drops glycerine
Almond extract or vanilla extract
Mix the ground almonds and sugar together. Gradually add the lemon juice and glycerine until you get a marzipan texture. Flavor with almond or vanilla extract to taste.
Royal Icing
Makes enough to cover an 8-in/20-cm cake
3 egg whites
1 lb 5 oz/595 g confectioners’ sugar, sifted
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1½ tsp glycerine (optional)
Using an electric mixer, lightly whisk the egg whites, adding the sugar at intervals. Beat well until the icing reaches soft peaks. Add the lemon juice and the glycerine (if using).
Christmas Pudding
Plan to make this pudding six to twelve months before you eat it. It matures and tastes much better, and is moister, too.
Makes 1 large (52-oz/1½-litre) pudding or 2 small (28-oz/¾-litre) puddings
> 6 oz/170 g fresh bread crumbs
13½ oz/405 ml milk
10½ oz/298 g sugar
9 oz/255 g suet
9 oz/255 g currants
9 oz/255 g raisins
6 oz/170 g grated carrot
6 oz/170 g mashed potato
6 oz/170 g all-purpose flour
3 oz/85 g mixed peel
1½ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp salt
3 eggs, beaten
4 tsp molasses or treacle
Grease one large (52-oz/1½-litre) or two small (28-oz/¾-litre) bowls. Put the crumbs in a very large bowl. Heat the milk to the boiling point and pour it over the crumbs. Add the sugar and leave to soak for 30 minutes. Mix in the suet, currants, raisins, carrot, mashed potato, flour, mixed peel, nutmeg, and salt, mixing very well. Finally, add the eggs and molasses and beat very well. Put the mixture into greased bowls, cover, and place over a trivet or upturned saucer in a lidded saucepan of boiling water and steam for 4 hours. Continue to add boiling water from time to time to ensure that the saucepan does not boil dry. Store in a cool place wrapped in parchment paper in an airtight tin.
Then on Christmas day steam for a further 2 hours. Turn out and garnish with a sprig of holly and serve with Brandy Sauce (here).
Kinky’s Note:
You can use special bowls with their own lids or else cover the bowl with aluminium foil. I use parchment paper, then brown paper and tie it on with string, making a handle with the string. If you haven’t got a doctor handy you do need to be very careful with the boiling water, so. This method of cooking by setting the pudding inside another container of boiling water is often referred to as a bain-marie.
Irish Coffee
A lot of Doctor O’Reilly’s friends enjoy an Irish coffee; that’s why I’m giving you the recipe, but himself can be a purist in some things. I thought he was going to take the rickets once when an American guest asked for Coca-Cola in his Jameson. “Kinky,” says the doctor after the guest had gone, “only a heathen would do that to a good whiskey. There’s only two ways to drink it, neat or hot.” So I’ll not be serving him Irish coffee.