"Not if we sit in a dark corner so no one sees that I'm in a work uniform."
"Oh, go wash. I'll be in the washroom in a sukoshi."
Brad had his face down in the sink letting the warm water splash across his head when he felt a soft hand touch his bare shoulder. Straightening up he felt the warm soft towel she had in her hands.
"Here, dry yourself. You are looking like the man I know. Clean and almost smelling good again."
He turned to her while drying himself off and their eyes met and any distance between them disappeared. He held her and kissed her forehead and then the lips when she raised her head to him.
"You might have got in trouble coming right from the base to here instead of changing first?"
"Maybe. Only if I got caught by some grouchy person."
"You did that because you were late and I was waiting for you?"
"Yes. I didn't want you waiting or worrying why I was not here when I said that I would."
Still holding each other Brad lightly rested his chin on top of her head. He lifted his head when he felt her move to raise her head. There was a tiny tear in the corner of each of her eyes.
"You care that much, don't you? For me. But I never want you to get in trouble. Alright? I will always believe what you tell me if you are late or can not meet me because of the Navy, neh."
"Hai, Tomi." Brad still had one corner of the towel in his hand. Gently he wiped the tear from the corner of each of her eyes. Then softly kissed each eye.
"Here. Wear this." Tomi handed him an authentic Okinawa floral shirt. "It belongs to one of the boys who work in the kitchen. Nobody will be able to tell you from an Okinawan by the color of your skin."
"What do you mean by that?" He asked laughing.
She didn't answer. Just stuck her tongue out at him and took him by the hand and leading him into the coffee house.
"You have so much color from the sun. Okinawans don't usually get so much color. We protect our skin from the sun. But you are so dark it is hard to tell that you're white.
Does it bother you when I make fun of it?"
"No. I like the sun and the feel of it. Also it makes me look healthy. Don't you think? Rather than being all white like a dead fish's belly?"
"I'm not sure. I will tell you later. Someday I will know you better then I can tell you."
"Okay, if you say so. I'm not quite sure what you're saying, but as you say, someday I'll also know."
"Who has dibs on the shower?" Brad asked as he unlocked the apartment door and let Tomi enter ahead of him.
"What is----'dibs'? I don't know that word."
"It means who is going to take the first shower. Or do anything before somebody else. Like who has dibs on the left over cake that you put in the refrigerator last night?"
"You can have the cake. You worked very hard today. But you also ate a lot of Mama-san's cooking. But I get the first shower. Will you please turn on the hot water for me?"
"So that's the way it's going to be. You always get dibs on the shower. I understand that."
"Iie! That is not true. I was being nice letting you eat the cake while I shower then while you shower I will make our beds because it is late and we are both tired. Honto!" She was smiling broadly in response to Brad's smile and both were doing their utmost not to laugh out loud at the other."
Hai, you win. Your thoughtfulness is greater than mine, so you get dibs on the shower." Then he added under his breath, "tonight."
"What did you say? I heard you say something you didn't want me to hear."
Trying hard to suppress his laugh, Brad walked into the tiny bathroom to turn on the water heater for Tomi.
Brad stood under the hot shower for a long time enjoying the heat and massaging effect of the water. Reluctantly he turned off the water and hurriedly dried himself off.
"Tomi," Brad started to ask her if she was going to make ocha, but she answered as if reading his mind.
"I’m not going to make ocha Brad. It is late and I want to sleep. Are you ready for bed?"
"I really am. I'm tired also, but I don't have to get up as early as you do." He realized that their futons were very close together, almost overlapping and his had one of the larger silk covered pillows on it.
If you would you like some tea before we sleep I will make it."
"No, thanks. I'm ready to crash my Love."
"Crash? What crash?"
"It means that I'm very tired and ready to sleep."
Tomi slipped under the top futon of Brad's bed and patted the pillow next to her. "Okay? Can we lie together for a while before we sleep. I would like to steal some of your love so I can go to sleep feeling warm and wanted."
"Brad slide under the futon next to her and turned towards her. He reached for her hand and drew her to him. "Come here, I want to hold you."
Tomi slid over close to him. After a minute she drew herself closer, hugged him closely and entwined her legs with his. She lay quietly, her warm soft breath caressing Brad's cheek and neck. Her breathing became regular and her eyes had closed several minutes before.
Brad had been stroking her back and shoulders and as her breathing slowed down he had unconsciously tightened his hug on her butt drawing her closer.
Tomi's muscles tightened under his hands and she raised her face "Oh! I'm sorry, Brad." She slid away from him gently and reluctantly. "I didn't want that to happen." She brought both hands up to his face and studied his eyes. "I'll go to my futon."
I don't want you to. But I understand if you do. It wasn't your fault, or mine. I'm pure male and you are a very sexy woman who I care very much for. I can live with it until we are ready to make love."
She had started to move towards her futon, but turned back as he spoke.
"Were you asleep, Brad?"
"No. But I was very comfortable and happy holding you. I didn't realize what was happening for awhile, then I didn't want to move. I just wanted to keep holding and caressing you. I was being selfish, maybe."
She slid back across the futon and turning onto her side with her back to him. Not quite touching except for her right hand which she used to reach around and take his hand. "Like this is alright?"
"Hai. I would like to sleep like this."
When Brad opened his eyes it was still quite dark except for the twinkling of the stars that he could see through the glass sliders. A faint glow was coming from behind him and he turned enough to see Tomi sitting at the table with the tea pot and a cup in front of her. The glow was coming from a very small light that she had on in the kitchen.
She spoke very softly and hesitantly. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry. I cannot sleep." She went on not waiting for an answer from Brad. "I think about what I am doing to you and you being so good to me and such a good friend."
When her voice broke several times in quick succession Brad realized that she was crying quietly to herself. He sat up letting the futon slip off him and gingerly moved the few short steps to the table on his knees. She sat with her head down holding a tissue to her nose and trying to wipe her eyes.
Brad picked a tissue out of the three or four sitting on the table. With a hand on her chin he gently raised her face and dabbed at the corner of her eyes. "Shhhh. It's alright. It can't be so terrible? Do you want to talk about it?"
Tomi wiped her nose delicately with movements that were typical of her femininity. "It is not right what I am doing."
"Doing what, Tomi?" What is wrong?"
"I ask you to hold me, sleep with me like a lover, but I cannot be like a lover. I'm the oldest and I should know how life is and make it good for us. But I cannot."
He reached for her and drew her into his arms. She shivered slightly as he held her and her breathes were ragged and noisy. He heard and felt her gulp down her tears as she leaned her head into his chest and clung to him with both arms.
"You're cold. How long have you
been up?"
"I don't know. I made tea, but it is now cold." She was hard to understand speaking into his neck. The cloth of his nemaki helped garble her words. "Go back to sleep. I will be alright."
Brad reached around and dragged a futon up to them and wrapped it around her. "Relax. I'm going to make some hot chocolate."
As he was working in the kitchen putting together C-Ration hot chocolate he felt her nearness as he always did when she stood next to him.
"If you don't want to stay with me, I'll understand. I do love you, Brad. But I …." Her words faded away as her thoughts failed her.
He put one arm around her and pulled her small body against his side. He leaned down and when she raised her face to him he kissed her on the lips. He flicked his tongue and felt her teeth when she opened her mouth barely enough to allow it to happen.
"I'm not going anywhere and I will be here every night that I don't have to work. And I expect that you and I will fix our suppers together and then lay down and watch the moon set over the ocean. Together, under the same futon."
"If we do that, we are going to have to buy bigger futons." She said smiling and blushing. "I am afraid that I will be waiting at the coffee house some night waiting for you to come get me and you won't come. You will have given up an me and found a woman who will do what you need and want."
"Here take your hot chocolate to the table. Sit down and we are going to talk this out."
"It is so late, Brad. You must sleep so you can work today. It is three in the morning now. We can talk later."
"The time to talk is now. I can't stand to see you so unhappy and confused. No matter what we say and decide, even if you want me to leave it will be what we, you and I, decide to do. Besides, I've stayed out drinking later than this and worked all that day."
They sat side by side at the table. Brad had moved a futon to the table to sit on and had wrapped the other around her shoulders.
"What happen to you that hurts so bad that you worry about being hurt and hurting me?"
She sat quietly, statue-like, not moving except for an occasional ragged breath as she held back her tears.
"Tomako, listen to me. You have said that you love me. And I have fallen in love with you. You are the terrible older woman in my life. The woman who is going to lead this young boy astray and ruin his morals. Now you have to take the first steps to live up to your end of this soap opera."
Tomi wiped her eyes and quietly blew her nose. Laughing softly she spoke, "You are crazy, Brad Burgess. You have fallen in love with an older woman who has never experienced life as you already have. What is a soap opera?"
"They are the television shows about men and women who have hot torrid sex with their neighbors, the butcher and waiter in their favorite restaurant and their son-in-laws. I've seen them on Japanese television like American television."
"Hai. I have seen them. They are not real, Neh?"
"Hai. But we are real, and our feelings for each other are real, so we have to find out how to make it work for us. Talk to me my Love."
Tomi leaned her head against his chest. Took a deep ragged breath before trying to speak. "I told you the soldier came after me in the officers hut. I didn't run away in time. I,...I let him kiss me before. Twice. He had come into the hut after the officers were at work and I let him kiss me. He talked a lot, but I didn't understand English, so I didn't know what he was saying.
This time it was different. He never said anything. Just backed me up against a bed and kissed me very hard. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. Then he pulled down my pants and pushed me down on the bed. I had never know a man before him and he hurt me. Really hurt me. I started to bleed and that is what scared him away. Not a nurse like I said. Nobody came to help me because I never screamed. I put my pants on and went to where I slept to get my things. I wanted to get away from him and all soldiers. I had very few things, but pictures of my family I could not leave. Those pictures up there." She pointed to the top of the futon cabinet. "One of the nesans was in our hut and she saw the blood and when I told her what happened she told me go tell one of the American nurses what had happened.
I was ashamed and knew that I did something to make him do that to me and I didn't want anybody, especially Oji-san, to know what happened. I took my things from the hut without speaking to anybody else and went to Oji-san's house."
"There is no way that it was your fault, Tomako. You didn't do anything wrong. There are men like him everywhere. They will do bad things to girls and women while the women are defenseless against them."
"I was afraid to tell you, because I was afraid that you would not love me and would leave me.
I knew two Okinawan men. Very nice men who I wanted to be with and maybe marry me. But when we had seiai.
I don't know how to say it in English."
"When you tried to make love? Have sex?"
"It hurt and made me want to scream. I got so scared that I could never like it. But Brad, I wanted to have seiai with them.
How do you say it, Brad?"
"Making love is the nicest. It means that you and your partner love each other and want to share it together. To have sex means you both want to enjoy sex, but there maybe no love involved. You may just like each other."
I think that I may have loved one of these men, but I never found out or will ever know."
"I love you very much, Tomi. And you said that you love me." He reminded her.
She tightened her arms around him and nuzzled into his neck. "I am afraid to say yes, Brad. I want to be with you and wish that we could make love. But I don't know if I can make you happy and be happy myself."
"I'm not going to leave you or change my feelings about you no matter what. If we keep going, one step at a time, talk and share what we are thinking and feeling it will work. Some day you will not be afraid.
Do you think that you can sleep now? We can get some sleep before we have to go to work. It's almost four."
Brad stood then went over to where they had their futons to straighten them out. He pulled the top one back and offered her his hand. "Dozo. Get in bed and I'll hold you until you fall to sleep. Or I fall to sleep." He added with a quiet laugh.
Tomako laid down with her back to Brad and reached for the arm that he was holding her with. She wiggled back to get closer to him. Scissored together they lay quietly for several minutes until Tomi broke the silence.
"Do you want to make love to me? You do, neh?"
"Yes, of course. It isn't the right time. I really want to, but I think we should wait. We're tired, you're still upset and to be together like this is always nice for me. You like it also, honto?"
"Yes, arigato, Brad. Yes, I do love you even if you are a baby-san"
"You really know how to hurt a guy."
"You do not hurt. I can feel you."
She giggled quietly and wiggled her butt against him.
THIRTY-TWO
"Hey Chief, I talked to Charlie Morris at the Sukiran Army maintenance facility a while ago. He's going to send the asphalt spreader and operator late today so we can lay asphalt tomorrow. He said that you had ordered the asphalt and he'll double check so the first load will be here at 0900 and a load every 45 minutes until we get it all."
"That will do it. Is the crew all ready and each knows what he'll be doing?"
"I got the word to everybody so there shouldn't be any problems on this end.
Alright if I cut out, Chief? I got somethings to do."
"Do it. I'll take care of the spreader and operator when he gets here. I'll see you in the morning."
It was only a couple of minutes after 1000 so Brad jumped on the bus which was headed for the NCO Club. Uehara was driving the bus so Brad took advantage of the fact that he knew Tomi and sat directly behind him.
"Did you pickup the nesan Tomako from the NCO Club yet, Uehara?"
Uehara looked in the mirror over his head, made eye contact with Brad and smiled. "She hasn't left yet, Brad. Maybe she catch this bus, neh?"
"Thanks, I was afraid that I didn't leave soon enough."
Brad got up and moved towards the middle of the bus out of Uehara's hearing.
She had on her favorite light blue skirt which was snug, but not too tight on her hips and butt. A white freshly starched and ironed blouse tucked into the skirt. She had pulled her hair back into a short ponytail and somehow had worked her bangs to each side of her forehead.
He watched her step briskly up the steps speaking to Uehara in a friendly way before starting back a couple of seats from the front of the bus. Tomi turned and started to sit down when she stopped, raised her head and looked into Brad's eyes. The smile spread across her face taking years off of her age.
That smile always makes her look like a teenager.
She had put on a touch of blush and a hint of soft pink showed on her lips. Two more strides and she slid into the seat next to him and she grabbed his right hand in both of hers.
"What are you doing? Are you not working? She slid closer to him so they were touching from shoulders, to hips and down to their knees.
Brad felt the warmth of her body and had all he could do not to take her in his arms and kiss her. Instead he squeezed her hands tighter, raised them up to just below the level of the seat back and lowered his face to them and kissed her knuckles one at a time.
"You are bad. But you make me feel good. Can you come with me?"
"That's the plan. Can you take the day off? I have the day off and want it to be special today for us?"
Tomi looked deep into his eyes reaching for his soul. "I can do that. What are we going to do?"
"We're going home. Take a shower, then we're going to talk and take naps to make up for the sleep we didn't get last night."
"I'll call Mama-san from Tomari Port and tell her I did not sleep well last night and don't feel good so I need to stay home."
Uehara had stopped the bus at the main gate and waited patiently for Tomi and Brad to realize where they were and get off the bus.
Tomi was looking out the window of the taxi and sat silently for a couple minutes. Unable to contain herself, Brad could see the smile creeping across her face. "I have been thinking about what is going on in your head, and we can talk about it at home. First I have to call Mama-san and pretend I am so very tired that I must sleep this afternoon. Alone." She said with a smile and quiet snicker.