Read An Unforgivable Secret (Amish Secrets - Book 1) Page 30
Chapter 27
Christian clutched Hannah’s hand as they sat side by side in an Englischer’s van. His eyes scanned the roadway as they traveled at speeds he was uncomfortable with. His stomach did a little flip-flop reminding him of an amusement ride he once endured at Hershey Park. He hoped he wasn’t going to be sick. Was Hannah as nervous about this as he was?
He glanced at the bench seat in front of them at one of the other six couples in the vehicle. They were young like he and Hannah, and he guessed they’d probably been through an experience similar to their own. That’s why they were all in this van, right?
Hopefully, this weekend would prove to be beneficial for all their sakes, but Christian really wanted help for Hannah. Words could not express how much she meant to him and he cringed every time he realized how close he’d come to losing her. And it had all been his own fault.
As the van slowed, he realized they’d come to the entrance of some sort of campground. Christian smiled. He hadn’t been camping since he was about ten years old. His family had only been on vacation a couple of times, aside from visiting relatives in other parts of the state. The time they went camping, Samuel had been allowed to come along. He vividly remembered how he’d fallen into the cold stream they’d been fishing in and Samuel pulled him out. He realized that Samuel had probably saved his life that day. Oh, how I miss Samuel. I’d give anything to be able to go back and change the past.
Christian noticed that the van had now stopped in a wooded area and several small log cabins dotted the serene landscape. A large brick building, in which he figured their sessions would be held, stood amidst the cabins. As he stepped out of the van, he took a deep breath and delighted in the fragrant pine scent emanating from the trees. It seemed just being in this spectacular environment helped to ease his tension.
“All right,” the driver declared. “I think you all have your cabin assignments. There are still a couple of hours before the first session starts in the main building, so take a little time to rest and settle in. If anybody has any questions, please ask them now.”
The counselor looked to each couple. No one spoke up.
“All right, then. We’ll see you all at six,” he said.
After Hannah and Christian had emptied their extra clothing into the bureau provided, they’d enjoyed a quiet walk around the premises. Since they’d been traveling in the car so long, neither of them felt like resting. Now, it was nearing six o’clock and they headed toward the main building.
Hannah heard a rumble and she smiled at her husband. “Getting hungry already?”
Christian patted his belly. “It seems that way. I wonder how long it will be before we eat dinner.”
Hannah shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out soon.”
She walked through one of the large glass doors Christian held open for her. Noises inside one of the rooms alerted them to where their first session would be held. They walked into the room where two of the couples already sat at tables. A small podium stood at the front of the room, but the speaker was shuffling through some papers atop a counter near one of the walls.
“Go ahead and find a seat at one of the tables,” the female speaker informed them. “Two couples per table please. As soon as everyone is present we will begin.”
Christian and Hannah joined an older couple at one of the round tables and sat down. Hannah recognized the man’s exuberant voice from the van. The gentleman’s rotund face brightened and he extended a hand to Christian. “Name’s Ronald T, heavy on the T! This is my wife, Judy.”
Hannah apprehensively glanced at Christian. This Englischer sure was strange. What did he mean by ‘heavy on the T?’ It didn’t make any sense to her, but she enjoyed the fella’s outgoing nature.
Judy spoke up. “Oh, don’t mind Ron. He always greets everyone that way.” She smiled at her boisterous husband.
“So, you folks are Amish, eh?” Ron asked. “Or are you from some other group? Quaker, maybe?”
“Jah. We are Amish,” Christian answered.
“I always thought the horse and buggy thing was pretty cool. I don’t think I’d ever give up my Corvette, though.”
“Oh, no. He’d never give up his sports cars,” his wife agreed. “Or watching NASCAR.”
“What did you good folks say your name was?” Ronald asked.
“I am Christian Glick and my wife is Hannah.”
“Well, Chris and Hannah Glick. It sure is nice to meet you folks. I think y’all are the first Amish folks I’ve met,” Ron said.
Hannah smiled. She liked these Englischers. They put her mind at ease while she anxiously awaited the beginning of the session. To tell the truth, she didn’t really want to be here. She’d rather be at home alone with Christian. Their marriage had begun to heal, but they still had a long way to go.
In spite of herself, she couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if she and Samuel had married and she’d kept the baby. How different would their lives have been? Would Samuel and Christian have mended their friendship eventually? Would Samuel still be alive today? If that were true, it would mean I’m responsible for the deaths of five innocent people. The thought shook her to the core.
Maybe Christian would have been better off with someone else as his wife. Was it a betrayal to Christian to think that way? She didn’t love Christian any less. As a matter of fact, she admired him. He’d been so kind and supportive once he’d realized his part in this mess she’d made. She desperately needed his strength to support her through this.
“Welcome to The Healing Garden everyone. Let’s start with prayer.” The speaker’s voice captured Hannah’s attention and silenced the chatter from the tables. “I hope you’re all enjoying your accommodations. Our first session won’t be too lengthy because I know you are all starving.”
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and appreciation.
“We’ll begin with introductions. I’ll start. My name is Beverly Clark and I’m from Philadelphia. My first child, Michael, has been in Heaven twenty years now. Not one day goes by that I don’t regret having my abortion.” The woman wiped away a tear as did several others in the room. “Know that every person helping out at this retreat has been touched by abortion one way or another. We know what you’re going through, so don’t hesitate to come to us for anything. You don’t need to share your personal story with the group, but you may if you’d like. For now though, just your name will be sufficient. And please tell us what you’d like to get out of this class.”
Ron stood up first. “Name’s Ronald T, heavy on the T! I’m originally from Cali-forn-i-a, but I’ve been all over the beautiful U.S. of A. We now live in hairy Harrisburg.” The group chuckled. His faced sobered. “I’d like to find closure and be at peace with the past.”
After his wife Judy introduced herself, each person took a turn. It turned out that all of them were from the eastern half of Pennsylvania. It seemed as though Hannah and Christian were one of the younger couples in the group. Although half of the attendees appeared to be in their thirties or forties, one couple seemed to be just out of their teen years.
All eyes turned to Beverly when she spoke again. “Jim is going to hand out notebooks to each of you. This is where you’ll be completing all of your writing assignments. The first assignment will be to write your story. We all have a story or we wouldn’t be here. Perhaps you’ve never told your whole story to anyone before. We’ve found that just writing your story down on paper can be tremendously freeing. This is your first step on the road to healing. And don’t worry, you won’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to. This is for yourself and for the Lord. Feel free to pour your heart out onto the paper.”
After a pleasant dinner with the other couples and the leaders of the retreat, Hannah was anxious to get back to their cabin and begin writing her story. Thankfully, it had been her left arm that broke, otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to complete any of the writing assignments.
She quickly discovere
d that the counselor had been correct. With each line she wrote, she felt as though one of the shackles had loosened. And by the time her story was entirely written out, one of the links had fallen off. It would still be a long way until she was completely free, but the door had been cracked open and a smidgen of hope broke through the darkness.