Chapter Seven
Gabriel was now sitting at an empty table in the bar. In the middle of the table was an apple with a bite from it. Gabriel was getting a crash course in religion, but how could he believe what was happening. After all he was only seeing Apollyon's version of the vaguely documented history of the dawn of mankind. Like all things there are two side's and so far he could only see what Apollyon was bombarding him with.
Religion once intrigued Gabriel but now it was being forced on him like a pledge in kindergarten. How could he choose an allegiance when he had no clue what that would mean. All of it felt more like a game rather than reality, but what Gabriel became was very real. He looked around the bar and could see that everyone's version of reality was becoming more distorted by the moment. Luckily for them they had a choice and each drink allowed them to escape their troubles.
If only Gabriel could indulge in their incoherent destruction. He watched as withdrawal crept in with a cold sweat. The room that once gave him freedom from his pain was now closing in on him. “How could I possibly be free of sin?” He thought as a unfamiliar tremble swept over him. Not only was he haunted by demons, ghosts, and the worlds sin, now he had sobriety to add to the chilling list.
Looking back at his past he struggled to look for times when he wronged someone or lied. To his dismay he had a rare quality not found in today's society, morals. But according to most religion's, morals alone do not make you a saint. It seemed a saint was a man who could indulge in his inner demons in dark corners. But in public show devotion to a deity and use religion as a crutch for what they could not answer.
He once watched a show about a preacher in California with his wife. The preacher preyed on the innocents of children. Celibacy turned him into a pedophile messenger of god's word. For years he went from perish to perish permanently destroying the faith, and any hope of functioning as a normal husband or wife. He placed a lifetime of pain and nightmares in the future of our world.
The children who fell prey to this curse would be saints in society if somehow they could keep from burning churches and killing this demon with a dull pickaxe. So what was the saint's in the Vatican city's response? They covered it up, even though the preacher publicly admitted his horrific problem. Today the man is preaching to a new generation and left the laws of the united states and went to Europe.
That was just one example of the corruption of our “Saint's” spreading the word of god to future generations. Gabriel could only hope that Apollyon had devised a machine in hell that might possibly be on the same level of torture as these monsters inflict on the world everyday. But what about the century's of murder, rape, torture, brainwashing, contradiction, hypocrisy, and fear that the Vatican city spread.
If god was starting the revelation's, and a war on evil and Apollyon then the starting place would not be Axal, but the holy city of god. The corruption in the hollowed grounds filled with innocent dead in Axal was simply a pimple on the ass of the Vatican city. So the likely hood of Gabriel being a saint was much higher than even he could imagine.
The dimly light bar was becoming to much for the withdrawing demon spawned saint. Though his house was occupied by beautifully insane victims of a sick man's desires. Sleep was sounding like an escape for his circling mind and his bed seemed more sacred than temples of man. Gabriel stood up from his table a slyly moved to the door.
A part of him hoped Ashley's clutches of hormonal violation would break the silence and plead for him to stay. Then he could vent lifetimes of problems on her, but he knew that was a quick route to the looney bin. Mortals were nothing more than the enemy and they would jump at the chance to crucify him. Plus Ashley really did not need any more problems.
As he stepped out into the alleyway his mind repeated “Don't speak my name” over and over. The crisp air and darkness came as a relief to his withdrawal. The air chilled the cold sweats which now covered his upper body. He nauseatingly stumbled through the night in the direction of his truck. Just as his mind stopped repeating the words a voice shattered into the nights silence.
“Gabriel!” A mans voice shouted from behind him. Gabriel turned around and at the base of a dumpster was a old man sitting down in ragged clothes. A cardboard box covered his legs and he had a hood over his head. It was society's version of a financial failure or bum. But the bible's version of a man who truly feared god and gave up all mortal gains.
“I don't have any liquor and financially I am not far from sleeping where you lay.” Gabriel dismissively told the old man. Gabriel turned around and started the journey to his truck. “But what if I was a angel?” The man said. Gabriel turned around and looked at him again. “Like I said, no liquor here buddy!”
“You know, I think you might have heard of me Gabriel. My name is Cain and I have heard much about you.” Gabriel sighed “I don't know anyone named Cain, sorry” Gabriel got ready to turn away. “How about my brother, Abel?..... Hey, come to think of it you are my really great.....Something, but we are related!” Cain said.
“Wait, you are Cain, like from the bible Cain?” Gabriel looked at the man confused. “Well I'm really nothing from nowhere, but yes I am that Cain. I wanted to see for myself the man who would destroy the world. I tried once you know.....But now you’re here and I must show you....So you can be one of us!” Cain said stuttering.
“Well it's really nice to meet nothing from nowhere, but I am out of here so you have fun buddy.” Gabriel said as he walked away. He made it to his truck and hopped inside happy to be free from religious chaos. Just as he put the keys in the ignition the voice shattered Gabriel's relief. “Oh you thought it was that easy?..See I was cast out as fugitive and a vagabond on the earth. Much like you I have nothing but time.” Gabriel looked over at Cain now sitting in the truck next to him.
“So I can make your time a living hell, or I can show you my faithful story and return to nothing, from nowhere.” Cain said. There was a long moment of pause between the two as Gabriel thought of his options. “Well I want nothing more than you biblical fucks to go away, so lets get this shit over with already shall we?” Gabriel snapped back.
“Good....Hmmm how do I start, well I was born..” Cain said. “Fuck it” Gabriel said and grabbed Cains cold hand and was jolted by electric shock. Unlike normal he was repeatedly jolted in darkness for what seemed like hours before he found himself thrown into a field. The wheat was glowing in the sunlight like Gabriel had never seen before.
Each strand of wheat looked almost perfectly placed in the ground. A hundred yards away was two young men standing at the edge of the field. The young men had fury lion cloths covering their body. The two were almost identical in size and stature. Before the men was a massive beam of light shinning down.
Gabriel walked towards the men so he could get a better look. The tops of the wheat gently tickled Gabriel's hands. Each step was perfectly supported by the well groomed ground under his feet. He glided through the field and eventually right behind the two men and beam of light. Now that he was closer he could see the beam of light favoring one of the men.
The beam shined on him and the wooden altar next to him. On it was perfectly cut meat on display and a young sheep's head was the center piece. Next to the other man was a pile of grain that glowed and gave off a golden hue. The man with the grain reached down and grabbed a handful and held it to the sky.
But the beam of light stayed on the other man with his display of sheep flesh. The one man dropped his hand from the sky and let its contents fall to the ground with his head. He then turned and walked past Gabriel with red rage over his face as he headed into the field. The man with the sheep meat basked in the beam and sat down and soaked in its rays like a prisoner in sunlight.
Gabriel was once again jolted and now was standing before the two men again but now they were in a field of sheep. “Come brother, some of your flock has strayed to my field!” The man said as he grabbed the mans hand. Gabriel could hear the poison in his voice. The man pul
led the other along a path, the other reluctantly followed trying to slow the pace.
In the one mans hand was a club fashioned from a large branch. It was dark like the grain from the tree of wisdom in the garden of Eden. Gabriel had to run at times to keep up with the fast strides. Their pace never wavered and with each step the mace would swing into the air then back down at the man's side. They were now at the wheat field and almost before the altar. The man being pulled started to try and pull away.
“But Cain, none of my flock are here. Were you mistaken?” The one man said. They were now standing just before the area where they had presented there offering's to the beam of light. “No brother, there was no mistake made.” Cain said as he turned to his brother. Still holding his hand he pulled him into him.
He raised the mace before the heaven's and crashed it down into the head of the other man. With one blow he fell to the ground. Blood ran down his face as he looked up towards his brother Cain. “But why have you done this brother?” The look he gave Cain was not one of pleading, but of love. Cain raised the mace in the air once more.
“You were better” Cain said as the mace plummeted down into Abel's head. His skull crashed in and blood poured out into the earth. As Cain struck he let go of the mace and blood splattered his face. He stood above his brother Abel covered in blood blankly staring at the corpse. Then a smile cracked across his face and he grabbed his brothers legs and drug his body into the tree's at the edge of the field.
Once in the forest there was no grave, but simply the cold forest floor soaking up the blood of his brother. The trail of blood was swallowed up by the earth as Gabriel followed Cain out of the forest and back to the field. The crops were now dead and wilted. Boulders that were never there now sprung up all over the decaying field.
The sky went black and roared with anger. Cain looked up with horror at swirling blackness in the sky. Out of the roars was one word “ABEL!” Cain gazed on at the sky. “I do not know, Am I my brother's keeper!?" Cain shouted back.
“The voice of thy brother's blood crieth out to me from the ground!” The sky echoed. Cains face turned to panic and he started to sprint down the trail towards another forest. “So now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand. When thou farm the ground, it shall not yield good crops to you!” The sky roared.
“Thou shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth!” The words echoed from the sky and then into all the hillsides surrounding the area with the same words. Then a bolt shot from the sky and hit Gabriel jolting him back into the bar parking lot and his truck. Gabriel looked over at Cain and he had the same smile on his face as he did after killing his brother.
“You are one sick fuck you know that?” Gabriel said. “I am inside YOU and all mankind. I may have died and been cursed to being a fugitive of the earth but my blood flows in you like my brothers in the ground. My life and death was cast from the bible the day I killed my brother but my anger has burned for centuries!” Cain shouted.
“So why are you here now, in my truck showing me this?” Gabriel said shaking his head in disagreement. “Because I know somewhere in that shell you call a man, is a beautiful beast of destruction yearning to shed mans blood. Once you let go, and let it out you will feel so much better. I have watched so many try to fight their murderous nature and you must let it out. You might disagree with me now but I know you will feel it and just know I will be waiting!” Cain said as he disappeared from the truck.
Gabriel looked around the truck wanting to argue, but relieved that Cain was gone. Shaking his head Gabriel started his truck and headed home. On his way home he thought about what Cain said. Maybe Cain was right, there is something in all of us that wants power and Gabriel really was no better than Cain. How could he judge Cain when he only walked a few hundred yards in his shoes.
It was obvious that Cain worked hard, so why did god reject his offering and not his brothers. Maybe it was something that you could only see by looking at the heart of a man. It was clear Cain's heart was not in the right place when he murdered his brother, but was it before hand. God only knows but is there a time when murder is acceptable?
Mitch had to of felt the same rage Cain did at some point during the war, so was he too a vagabond of the earth. Gabriel guessed that only god could decide when he weighs the hearts of man but if Apollyon was right they all were nothing more than sinners. But what about Jesus dieing for our sins, and how was it fair to those who were there before Jesus died for us.
Why wasn’t Cain forgiven for his sin's, and did he try. If he did try could he be forgiven or was he doomed to damnation. If so he was unfairly judged since Jesus had not walked the earth yet. Not only Cain but what about all of those doomed before Jesus, where was their savior. It was all questions that could only be answered by god, or possibly Apollyon.
Gabriel pulled into his driveway, the moonlight made the shadows of the tree's dance on the edge of the driveway. Pulling into his spot Gabriel could see lights on at his house. Looking inside a window he could see one of the occupants run past and the lights turned off. Gabriel got out of his truck and headed for the door.
Turning the nob it abruptly stopped, someone or thing had locked the door. He jiggled the nob and sighed. Inside he could here chuckling of women who obviously had not pulled a prank in years. “Okay real funny let me in now.” Gabriel demanded. “Let me in now!” A voice of a women mocked followed by more chuckling.
“Look it's been a long night I just want to go to sleep.” Gabriel said in a tone meant more for children than century old ghosts. “We are not preventing you from sleeping” Another woman’s voice said. Gabriel waited a moment to see if the door would unlock. He tried the knob one last time, it was still locked. For a moment he paced on the porch getting more annoyed by the moment. It was clear that they would not let him inside no matter what he said.
Gabriel attempted a few of the police man kick in the door trick. It was followed by more laughter from inside. Giving up on the door he went over to one of the windows and it easily slid open. He climbed in the window and looked around his dark kitchen then walked into the living room. He could now here muffled chuckling from all over the house.
For a moment Gabriel almost got angry but instead of fighting a losing battle he headed upstairs to his room. He closed and locked his bedroom door so that he might avoid a rude awaking. He laid down in bed and the chuckling died down. Laying in bed he thought of how one of the woman’s laughter sounded like his wives.
Gabriel laid in bed thinking about Christy, though she may or may not had cheated on him. There was always a possibility of it, but then again Apollyon was probably just playing his games. None of it changed the fact that he still loved her. As her drifted off to sleep he planned on visiting her grave in the morning and hopefully avoiding more run in's with the ghosts.
Awaking to sunlight shining through the towels Gabriel sat up and looked around the room. To his relief no one was in his room. He finally had a full nights sleep and laid back down and closed his eye's. If only he could return to that moment of nothingness during sleep. He could not even remember any dream's and his slumber had just been a empty void of bliss.
Gabriel had spent a night in his definition of heaven and laid in bed struggling to return. The days plans of visiting his wifes grave was the only thing that gave him the will to get up. Once out of bed he unlocked the door and took a deep breath heading out into the lions den of undead estrogen. Gabriel kept his head down looking at the floor hoping to not see any of the ghosts.
As he made it to his stairs it was to no avail. Tina was walking up the steps with a big smile on her face. “Morning sunshine!” Tina chirped. “Morning” Gabriel said as he walked around her and down the stairs. His run ins with the women were always uncomfortable. Gabriel made it to the front door and headed out insuring it was unlocked.
Once outside there was another one of the women sitting on the porch steps. It
was one of the redheads, she had on a white blouse and tan shorts. Bright red lipstick lined her lips and red blush on her cheeks. Gabriel just glanced at her and looked away trying not to stare. He started to open the door to his truck and then glanced back at the woman.
She was stunning like all the women haunting his house. “Just gonna sleep and leave?” The woman said. “Yeah, to much temptation around this place.” Gabriel said. “Then why come back, you know we are better off without you here.” The woman said with a angry smirk. “Well my bed is here, and this was once my home.” Gabriel said.
“It was never YOUR home” The women paused. “When will you see this is OUR home. You can't just come here and walk around trying to ignore everyone. We exist here weather you like it or not and the faster you accept it the better off we will all be.” The woman said. Gabriel closed the truck door without getting in and walked back to the porch.
“Well I am a little freaked out by you all if you can imagine.” Gabriel said. “Why because we are dead?” The woman said laughing. “Well I think it's more because you are women. Most women always scared me because they hold so much power over men. Like right now you could take of your clothes and throw yourself at me. Then I would have to fight all of my instincts and desires and leave. Which does not always come easy to me.” Gabriel said.
“Hah you only wish I would do that. Not all of us here are madly in love with you and throwing ourselves out there. I actually don't like you one bit and I think I should at least be given the chance to let you know that.” The woman said. Gabriel sat down on the bumper of his truck and crossed his arms on his chest.
“Well why don't you like me?” Gabriel asked. “Because you think you're better than all of this. You think everything is about you, and what you want. You throw away your life like it's nothing. Mope around crying poor me all the time. The girls here in this house never had a choice. So what you lost a lot in life, but so did we. So does everyone, but you just give up. You are so weak it makes me sick!” The woman said.
“See this is why I avoid you guys, I know nothing about you yet you guys somehow think you know everything about me. You have seen me at a very bad point in my life, but that does not mean you know me. You want to know why I throw everything away? because it's all I know how to do. I never wanted any of this.” Gabriel said.
“That's the problem none of us always want the cards we are dealt but we deal with what we got. You just throw the cards down and walk away. Everyday I deal with the cards I got then I have to watch you bitch and moan.” The woman got up from the porch. “By the way my name is Sophea......Live a little asshole.” Sophea said as she walked in the house.
Gabriel knew she was right, but was mad she was so quick to judge him. He at least tried to talk to her and she did exactly what she was mad at him for doing. Running away from problems rather than working through them. “Heh, hypocrite” Gabriel said as he got up and headed back to the truck door.
Gabriel heard the door to the house burst open. “What did you call me dickhead!” Sophea shouted. Gabriel sighed and turned around. Sophea was now inches away from him. The beauty was now gone from Gabriel's mind and now all he saw was a angry bitch looking to start drama. “I said you are a hypocrite!” Gabriel said. As he was talking Christa had ran out of the house and grabbed Sophea's hand. “Come on Sophea don't worry about him, it's not worth it!” Christa shouted.
Sophea balled up her fist and tried to pull away from Christa but she wrapped her arms around her waist. “Let me go!” Sophea yelled still trying to get to Gabriel. Gabriel pulled open his truck door laughing. “Yeah you better run asshole, just you wait!” Sophea shouted. Christa was now carrying Sophea back into the house.
Gabriel peeled out from his spot and headed into town. He laughed and shrugged off the assault of the insane ghost. He wished he didn't call her a hypocrite though because now he had to deal with a woman who most likely brewed hatred for men for the last 70 years. The thought of going home now didn't sound like fun at all since the women were most likely preparing their pitch forks.
On the radio was The Doors playing come on baby light my fire. As he was driving and listening to the song a feeling of self disgust came over him. Jim Morrison the lead singer of the doors had accomplished best selling records, touched millions of lives and even today was still touching lives. He wrote poetry that enlightened Gabriel as a kid.
Jim Morrison was somewhat of a idol of Gabriel's. When he did not fit in at school or felt like a outcast he had Jim Morrison saying it's okay to be weird. Let go of all of society's bullshit and breakthrough the doors in your mind holding you back and be you. Even if you are weird or like things no one else does, that's okay. Jim Morrison touched and saved many lives.
But the feeling of self disgust Gabriel was feeling was because Jim Morrison died at the age of 27. Gabriel was now older than Jim was when he died and Gabriel did nothing but cause problems. The only thing that eased the feeling was when Gabriel thought about how Jim Morrison wrote his first record. He did it when he had no home and was living on a rooftop living on canned beans and LSD. Jim said a shaman came to him on that roof and gave him the words to his best selling songs. Gabriel now felt if Jim could start out with nothing and touch so many lives then maybe so could he.
The song ended as Gabriel's mind continued to wonder. Now he was thinking about the native American’s and their god's. Was there room in all the madness for other god's and were they real. What about magic powers like voodoo or witchcraft. Or the pagan god's, the universe and even science. How did it all play into god's will?
Gabriel made a mental list of questions to barrage Apollyon with as he pulled into the town. For now he wanted to visit his dead wife who's betrayal, real or fake no longer mattered. The only thing Gabriel cared about was the love he still had for her. Axal was booming with life for a weekday. Everyone was in a hurry to get somewhere. Going the speed limit in town would only promote road rage and someone driving right on your rear bumper.
No one stopped to enjoy the beautiful mountain ranges around the town. They were only there to be seen by the rare tourist passing through. Gabriel could always spot a tourist because they were always going under the speed limit with a swarm of locals trying to pass them and honking. There could be a man dieing in the street and it would only be an inconvenience if they could not get around him.
Pulling onto the road to the graveyard Gabriel was now able to relax a little. He no longer had to keep the pace of the locals since the graveyard road was desolate. There was a reason why it was on the outskirts of town, it was so people could forget the dead and move on with their busy lives. Parking his truck to his surprise there was 2 other vehicles there. Most times the parking spots would be a good place to hide a murder victim because no one went there.
Behind the graveyard was a scenic view of the mountains around the town. The graveyard itself sat at the base of a mountain. The tree's and grass in the graveyard was well maintained even though Gabriel never saw the landscapers there. The graveyard had paths leading to different area's and for a small town it was a rather large graveyard.
To get to his wives grave he had to walk over a hillside and then a few hundred yards down to where she rested amongst other fairly new graves. On the walk Gabriel passed some of his friends and family. Gabriel always liked the graveyard because it was so peaceful. Each visit to the graveyard brought on a unexplainable emotion. One that could only be found in darkness, sadness, madness, and the uncertainty of death.
Each stone was a lifetime of memory slowly being forgotten. One day each grave will no longer have meaning. Just a random name on a stone with a completely decayed corpse below. But for now Gabriel held in his head some of the memory's of those stones. One that he passed by was a friend in grade school. Him and some of his friends were playing with his dad's 44 magnum revolver. The kid was joking with his friends and put it to his head and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately for him it went off cutting short a young mans
life.
On the grave was a picture of him in his football uniform. Gabriel wondered how he might look today. He passed another friend who willingly took his life. Gabriel always wished he could have been a part of Toby's life in his final days. They were good childhood friend's but life separated them as they got older.
They would wave and say hi in passing and talk about hanging out. But they both had busy lives and they never did. Then one day Gabriel heard Toby had killed himself and they were having his funeral. Gabriel thought about going but did not feel it was his place. After all Toby had new friends and a life that Gabriel no longer knew about.
Gabriel always struggled with it afterward though. He got to see first hand what losing someone you care about to suicide felt like. The hard part was you never get closure. He had friends who died from things like drinking and driving and with them he felt closure. But with Toby he never understood it. He was such a happy and upbeat person. Gabriel could only see the happy kid who always made Gabriel feel better about his shitty life.
He never had a chance to see what Toby was like in his final years and it was one thing Gabriel deeply regretted because he always loved Toby like a brother. When they did see each other in passing it was like long lost brothers meeting again and he was the one friend that Gabriel had no bad memory's of.
Gabriel always tried to play off Toby's death though and just think of the good times so it would not get him down. He did it because he knew it was what Toby would have wanted. Each time he passed his grave he thought about the good time's rather than him being gone. Like how Gabriel could never look at him the same way because of Toby.
When they were kid's Toby had a pet pig that they kept in his back yard. Toby would pet the pig and take it for walks. They would give him baths in a kiddie pool and both Gabriel and Toby really liked that pig. Then one year after Christmas break Toby was in a strangely depressed mood. When Gabriel asked him what was wrong Toby told him they ate the pig for Christmas dinner. At the time it was sad but now anytime he has ham he thinks about Toby and that pig.
Then there was another time when Gabriel quit smoking and Toby was trying to quit. Toby asked Gabriel how he did it and Gabriel knew if he told him the truth that he had to quit cold turkey then Toby would never quit. So Gabriel told him you have to sweat the addiction out of your system. then a few weeks later Toby thanked Gabriel because it really worked for him. But the funny thing was Gabriel was still smoking and now had to hide it from Toby.
Each step Gabriel took in that graveyard brought back memory's of old friends. Some days walking through it was unbearable and other days it was like being with old friends again. It always amazed Gabriel that through all the pain, stress, success, and failure all people would eventually be nothing more than a stone and a name.
The problem Gabriel had with religion is that once your dead it's not all over. You still have to go on and you don't truly get to rest in peace. You have judgment, damnation, heaven, hell, and whatever those things mean. Really if religion was made to help the living cope with death you think it would be the other way around. Atheism seems like a much better way to cope with death because you are free of all things.