CHAPTER XIX.
Having gratified my curiosity in this respect, Wallace proceeded toremind me of the circumstances of our first interview. He hadentertained doubts whether I was the person whom he had met at Lesher's.I acknowledged myself to be the same, and inquired, in my turn, into themotives of his conduct on that occasion.
"I confess," said he, with some hesitation, "I meant only to sport withyour simplicity and ignorance. You must not imagine, however, that mystratagem was deep-laid and deliberately executed. My professions at thetavern were sincere. I meant not to injure but to serve you. It was nottill I reached the head of the staircase that the mischievouscontrivance occurred. I foresaw nothings at the moment, but ludicrousmistakes and embarrassment. The scheme was executed almost at the verymoment it occurred.
"After I had returned to the parlour, Thetford charged me with thedelivery of a message in a distant quarter of the city. It was not tillI had performed this commission, and had set out on my return, that Ifully revolved the consequences likely to flow from my project.
"That Thetford and his wife would detect you in their bedchamber wasunquestionable. Perhaps, weary of my long delay, you would have fairlyundressed and gone to bed. The married couple would have madepreparation to follow you, and, when the curtain was undrawn, woulddiscover a robust youth, fast asleep, in their place. These images,which had just before excited my laughter, now produced a very differentemotion. I dreaded some fatal catastrophe from the fiery passions ofThetford. In the first transports of his fury he might pistol you, or,at least, might command you to be dragged to prison.
"I now heartily repented of my jest, and hastened home, that I mightprevent, as far as possible, the evil effects that might flow from it.The acknowledgment of my own agency in this affair would, at least,transfer Thetford's indignation to myself, to whom it was equitably due.
"The married couple had retired to their chamber, and no alarm orconfusion had followed. This was an inexplicable circumstance. I waitedwith impatience till the morning should furnish a solution of thedifficulty. The morning arrived. A strange event had, indeed, takenplace in their bedchamber. They found an infant asleep in their bed.Thetford had been roused twice in the night, once by a noise in thecloset, and afterwards by a noise at the door.
"Some connection between these sounds and the foundling was naturallysuspected. In the morning the closet was examined, and a coarse pair ofshoes was found on the floor. The chamber door, which Thetford hadlocked in the evening, was discovered to be open, as likewise a windowin the kitchen.
"These appearances were a source of wonder and doubt to others, but wereperfectly intelligible to me. I rejoiced that my stratagem had no moredangerous consequence, and admired the ingenuity and perseverance withwhich you had extricated yourself from so critical a state."
This narrative was only the verification of my own guesses. Its factswere quickly supplanted in my thoughts by the disastrous picture he haddrawn of the state of the hospital. I was confounded and shocked by themagnitude of this evil. The cause of it was obvious. The wretches whommoney could purchase were, of course, licentious and unprincipled.Superintended and controlled, they might be useful instruments; but thatsuperintendence could not be bought.
What qualities were requisite in the governor of such an institution? Hemust have zeal, diligence, and perseverance. He must act from lofty andpure motives. He must be mild and firm, intrepid and compliant. Oneperfectly qualified for the office it is desirable, but not possible,to find. A dispassionate and honest zeal in the cause of duty andhumanity may be of eminent utility. Am I not endowed with this zeal?Cannot my feeble efforts obviate some portion of this evil?
No one has hitherto claimed this disgustful and perilous situation. Mypowers and discernment are small, but if they be honestly exerted theycannot fail to be somewhat beneficial.
The impulse produced by these reflections was to hasten to the CityHall, and make known my wishes. This impulse was controlled byrecollections of my own indisposition, and of the state of Wallace. Todeliver this youth to his friends was the strongest obligation. Whenthis was discharged, I might return to the city, and acquit myself ofmore comprehensive duties.
Wallace had now enjoyed a few hours' rest, and was persuaded to beginthe journey. It was now noonday, and the sun darted insupportable rays.Wallace was more sensible than I of their unwholesome influence. We hadnot reached the suburbs, when his strength was wholly exhausted, and,had I not supported him, he would have sunk upon the pavement.
My limbs were scarcely less weak, but my resolutions were much morestrenuous than his. I made light of his indisposition, and endeavouredto persuade him that his vigour would return in proportion to hisdistance from the city. The moment we should reach a shade, a shortrespite would restore us to health and cheerfulness.
Nothing could revive his courage or induce him to go on. To return or toproceed was equally impracticable. But, should he be able to return,where should he find a retreat? The danger of relapse was imminent; hisown chamber at Thetford's was unoccupied. If he could regain this house,might I not procure him a physician and perform for him the part ofnurse?
His present situation was critical and mournful. To remain in thestreet, exposed to the malignant fervours of the sun, was not to beendured. To carry him in my arms exceeded my strength. Should I notclaim the assistance of the first passenger that appeared?
At that moment a horse and chaise passed us. The vehicle proceeded at aquick pace. He that rode in it might afford us the succour that weneeded. He might be persuaded to deviate from his course and convey thehelpless Wallace to the house we had just left.
This thought instantly impelled me forward. Feeble as I was, I even ranwith speed, in order to overtake the vehicle. My purpose was effectedwith the utmost difficulty. It fortunately happened that the carriagecontained but one person, who stopped at my request. His countenance andguise was mild and encouraging.
"Good friend," I exclaimed, "here is a young man too indisposed to walk.I want him carried to his lodgings. Will you, for money or for charity,allow him a place in your chaise, and set him down where I shalldirect?" Observing tokens of hesitation, I continued, "You need have nofears to perform this office. He is not sick, but merely feeble. I willnot ask twenty minutes, and you may ask what reward you think proper."
Still he hesitated to comply. His business, he said, had not led himinto the city. He merely passed along the skirts of it, whence heconceived that no danger would arise. He was desirous of helping theunfortunate; but he could not think of risking his own life in the causeof a stranger, when he had a wife and children depending on hisexistence and exertions for bread. It gave him pain to refuse, but hethought his duty to himself and to others required that he should nothazard his safety by compliance.
This plea was irresistible. The mildness of his manner showed that hemight have been overpowered by persuasion or tempted by reward. I wouldnot take advantage of his tractability; but should have declined hisassistance, even if it had been spontaneously offered. I turned awayfrom him in silence, and prepared to return to the spot where I had leftmy friend. The man prepared to resume his way.
In this perplexity, the thought occurred to me that, since this personwas going into the country, he might, possibly, consent to carry Wallacealong with him. I confided greatly in the salutary influence of ruralairs. I believed that debility constituted the whole of his complaint;that continuance in the city might occasion his relapse, or, at least,procrastinate his restoration.
I once more addressed myself to the traveller, and inquired in whatdirection and how far he was going. To my unspeakable satisfaction, hisanswer informed me that his home lay beyond Mr. Hadwin's, and that thisroad carried him directly past that gentleman's door. He was willing toreceive Wallace into his chaise, and to leave him at his uncle's.
This joyous and auspicious occurrence surpassed my fondest hopes. Ihurried with the pleasing tidings to Wallace, who eagerly consented toenter the carriage. I thought
not at the moment of myself, or how farthe same means of escaping from my danger might be used. The strangercould not be anxious on my account; and Wallace's dejection and weaknessmay apologize for his not soliciting my company, or expressing his fearsfor my safety. He was no sooner seated, than the traveller hurried away.I gazed after them, motionless and mute, till the carriage, turning acorner, passed beyond my sight.
I had now leisure to revert to my own condition, and to ruminate on thatseries of abrupt and diversified events that had happened during the fewhours which had been passed in the city: the end of my coming was thusspeedily and satisfactorily accomplished. My hopes and fears had rapidlyfluctuated; but, respecting this young man, had now subsided into calmand propitious certainty. Before the decline of the sun, he would enterhis paternal roof, and diffuse ineffable joy throughout that peacefuland chaste asylum.
This contemplation, though rapturous and soothing, speedily gave way toreflections on the conduct which my duty required, and the safedeparture of Wallace afforded me liberty, to pursue. To offer myself asa superintendent of the hospital was still my purpose. The languors ofmy frame might terminate in sickness, but this event it was useless toanticipate. The lofty site and pure airs of Bush Hill might tend todissipate my languors and restore me to health. At least while I hadpower, I was bound to exert it to the wisest purposes. I resolved toseek the City Hall immediately, and, for that end, crossed theintermediate fields which separated Sassafras from Chestnut Street.
More urgent considerations had diverted my attention from the moneywhich I bore about me, and from the image of the desolate lady to whomit belonged. My intentions, with regard to her, were the same as ever;but now it occurred to me, with new force, that my death might precludean interview between us, and that it was prudent to dispose, in someuseful way, of the money which would otherwise be left to the sport ofchance.
The evils which had befallen this city were obvious and enormous. Hungerand negligence had exasperated the malignity and facilitated theprogress of the pestilence. Could this money be more usefully employedthan in alleviating these evils? During my life, I had no power over it,but my death would justify me in prescribing the course which it shouldtake.
How was this course to be pointed out? How might I place it, so that Ishould effect my intentions without relinquishing the possession duringmy life?
These thoughts were superseded by a tide of new sensations. The weightthat incommoded my brows and my stomach was suddenly increased. My brainwas usurped by some benumbing power, and my limbs refused to support me.My pulsations were quickened, and the prevalence of fever could nolonger be doubted.
Till now, I had entertained a faint hope that my indisposition wouldvanish of itself. This hope was at an end. The grave was before me, andmy projects of curiosity or benevolence were to sink into oblivion. Iwas not bereaved of the powers of reflection. The consequences of lyingin the road, friendless and unprotected, were sure. The first passengerwould notice me, and hasten to summon one of those carriages which arebusy night and day in transporting its victims to the hospital.
This fate was, beyond all others, abhorrent to my imagination. To hideme under some roof, where my existence would be unknown and unsuspected,and where I might perish unmolested and in quiet, was my present wish.Thetford's or Medlicote's might afford me such an asylum, if it werepossible to reach it.
I made the most strenuous exertions; but they could not carry me forwardmore than a hundred paces. Here I rested on steps, which, on looking up,I perceived to belong to Welbeck's house.
This incident was unexpected. It led my reflections into a new train. Togo farther, in the present condition of my frame, was impossible. I waswell acquainted with this dwelling. All its avenues were closed. Whetherit had remained unoccupied since my flight from it, I could not decide.It was evident that, at present, it was without inhabitants. Possibly itmight have continued in the same condition in which Welbeck had left it.Beds or sofas might be found, on which a sick man might rest, and befearless of intrusion.
This inference was quickly overturned by the obvious supposition thatevery avenue was bolted and locked. This, however, might not be thecondition of the bath-house, in which there was nothing that required tobe guarded with unusual precautions. I was suffocated by inward andscorched by external heat; and the relief of bathing and drinkingappeared inestimable.
The value of this prize, in addition to my desire to avoid theobservation of passengers, made me exert all my remnant of strength.Repeated efforts at length enabled me to mount the wall; and placed me,as I imagined, in security. I swallowed large draughts of water as soonas I could reach the well.
The effect was, for a time, salutary and delicious. My fervours wereabated, and my faculties relieved from the weight which had latelyoppressed them. My present condition was unspeakably more advantageousthan the former. I did not believe that it could be improved, till,casting my eye vaguely over the building, I happened to observe theshutters of a lower window partly opened.
Whether this was occasioned by design or by accident there was no meansof deciding. Perhaps, in the precipitation of the latest possessor, thiswindow had been overlooked. Perhaps it had been unclosed by violence,and afforded entrance to a robber. By what means soever it hadhappened, it undoubtedly afforded ingress to me. I felt no scruple inprofiting by this circumstance. My purposes were not dishonest. I shouldnot injure or purloin any thing. It was laudable to seek a refuge fromthe well-meant persecutions of those who governed the city. All I soughtwas the privilege of dying alone.
Having gotten in at the window, I could not but remark that thefurniture and its arrangements had undergone no alteration in myabsence. I moved softly from one apartment to another, till at length Ientered that which had formerly been Welbeck's bedchamber.
The bed was naked of covering. The cabinets and closets exhibited theirfastenings broken. Their contents were gone. Whether these appearanceshad been produced by midnight robbers, or by the ministers of law andthe rage of the creditors of Welbeck, was a topic of fruitlessconjecture.
My design was now effected. This chamber should be the scene of mydisease and my refuge from the charitable cruelty of my neighbours. Mynew sensations conjured up the hope that my indisposition might prove atemporary evil. Instead of pestilential or malignant fever, it might bea harmless intermittent. Time would ascertain its true nature;meanwhile, I would turn the carpet into a coverlet, supply my pitcherwith water, and administer without sparing, and without fear, thatremedy which was placed within my reach.