“But your wound is barely healed.”
“I can’t lie in that nest of furs another day. Not that I haven’t enjoyed being pampered.” He shot her a quick, dangerous smile. “But a man could get a little too accustomed to that kind of treatment. Now it’s time for me to test my strength.”
“At least give yourself one more day, Yale.”
“I’d like to give myself a lifetime of it.” He tugged on a dark curl, enjoying the flush that stole over her cheeks. “But it’s time, Cara.” Though he knew the children were watching, he couldn’t resist touching his hand to her cheek for a moment before turning away. “I won’t be long.”
“Where are you going?”
“Outside to have a look around.”
Cody stepped forward. “Can I go with you?”
Yale was about to agree, for he’d enjoy the company. But he saw the fear that leapt into Cara’s eyes and took pity on her.
“Sorry, son. I think I’d better handle this first time out alone, just to see what’s out there.”
Seeing the way the little boy fought back tears he clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Tell you what, Cody. If I determine that it’s safe, I’ll take you and Seth with me tomorrow.” He stuck out his hand. “Deal?”
The light was back in the little boy’s eyes as he placed his hand in Yale’s. “Yes, sir. Deal.”
With Cara looking on, the two shook hands. Then Yale turned to Seth and shook his hand, as well.
Without another word he turned away and slipped between the boulders at the entrance, leaving them alone in the gloom.
The next hours seemed to drag, and it occurred to Cara that she and the children had become spoiled with Yale around to lift their spirits with his card tricks and silly jokes. He was such fun to be around, with his good humor and absurd sense of irreverence. It was easy to see why he had managed to become a larger-than-life figure to all who’d met him. He had such a zest for life.
When had the joy gone out of her own life? Had it been when Wyatt had died? Or had it been much sooner? It pained her to think about the carefree, happy girl she’d been, and the tired, fearful woman she’d become. She held out her hands, studying the ragged nails, the torn, sun-baked flesh.
Once she had wept over a silly hair comb. Now she had two children whose very lives depended on her. They knew she loved them. But did she take the time to laugh with them? To think about their hopes and dreams for the future?
The future. She sighed. Right now it took all her energy to concentrate on the here and now. But if they should come out of this alive…when they came out of this alive, she mentally corrected, she vowed to spend more time with Cody and Seth.
As the sun climbed higher in the sky, she found all her good intentions fading as she began fearing the worst. What if Yale had come upon the Fenner gang? What if he’d fallen and opened up his wound? He could even now be bleeding to death somewhere beyond their reach. She should have insisted on going along with him. But then she would have had to bring the children as well, putting them at risk.
Maybe she should have permitted Cody to go with him. But her fears would have been doubled, and by now she would be making herself sick with worry.
She stood by the entrance, peering into the distance. Where was he? Oh, why had he left them yet again?
As always, the minute Yale was out of her sight, the doubts and fears began to creep in. Doubts about his character. He was such a careless man. Careless with his own life, and careless with those who depended on him. Wasn’t that how he’d chosen to live his life? Wandering from town to town, indulging his own pleasure? When would she ever learn not to be fooled by that smile, that charming manner?
A shadow fell over the entrance and she looked up to see Yale striding toward her.
“What’s this?” As he pushed through the boulders, Cara stared in disbelief as he deposited sacks of flour and sugar at her feet.
“While I was surveying the countryside I thought I smelled smoke. And where there’s smoke there’s usually food.” Yale emptied his pockets of half a dozen eggs and a canteen filled with milk. “So I went to investigate and found a miner’s cabin a few miles over the ridge. There was nobody around, which means he was working deep in his mine. But there was a fire burning on the hearth, and so many sacks of supplies in the back room, he’ll never even miss these.”
“You…stole these?”
“I just borrowed them.” He gave her that quick smile and decided not to mention the money he’d left on the miner’s bunk. “I’m getting a little rusty. Haven’t had to use that particular skill for some time now.”
She was staring at the supplies as though they were sacks of gold. And despite her disapproval of the fact that they were ill-gotten goods, she couldn’t ignore the hunger pangs.
“Oh, Yale. Flour and sugar. We can have biscuits. And eggs and…” She opened a small parcel and breathed in the wonderful fragrance of coffee beans. “Oh, my.” She could have wept with pleasure. “Coffee.”
His smile was as wide as hers. “Yeah. I figured, as long as I was helping myself to his things, I may as well go all the way.”
“Do you think we can risk a fire?”
“We’re going to risk more than that. I think we should eat in the open air, and sleep out there, too.” He turned to the two boys who had raced up to stand beside their mother. “How about it? Want to breathe fresh air while we enjoy a picnic, and then sleep under the stars?”
“Can we, Ma?” Cody asked.
She looked from one son to the other, noting that both their eyes wore matching looks of pleading. She turned to Yale. “Do you really think it’s safe?”
He shrugged. “There you go, asking me to look into the future again. Who’s to say what’s safe? In the mine, we’re hidden from view. That keeps us safe from outlaws and drifters. But the rotten timbers could always collapse, trapping us inside. Or we could sleep outside tonight, and risk finding ourselves surrounded by Fenner’s men in the morning.”
Seeing her quick flash of fear he touched a hand to her face. “But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll stay awake all night and keep watch.”
“You will not.” She pulled away. “You’re still recovering from a grave wound. If anyone is going to keep watch, it’ll be me.” She turned to her children. “Gather up the furs and put them in the cart. As soon as we can load up everything, we’ll leave this place and…” For the first time her smile bloomed. “…breathe fresh air.”
“We’re really leaving here, Ma?” Cody hadn’t moved.
“Yes, honey. We’re really leaving here.”
“And we’re going to have a…” He struggled to remember what Yale had called it. “…a picnic?”
“We are indeed.”
The two boys’ smiles rivaled the sun as they raced around the mine snatching up the deer hide and the bearskin, shaking them as their mother always did before folding them into the back of the cart.
Within a short time they had the horse hitched and all the supplies loaded. Yale rolled aside the heavy boulders, while Cody led the horse through the opening. Outside they breathed in the fresh air, before following Yale as he led them across a rocky hill. On the far side was a grassy meadow. They crossed it until they came to a stream.
While Cody tended the horse, Yale and Seth hunted up enough wood for a fire, leaving Cara to sort through her supplies. When the dough was set to rise, she studied Cody and Seth, splashing on the banks of the stream.
They were so happy to be out in the sunshine, free to run and play again. There’d been so little of that in their lives. Since the loss of their father they had known only hard work, as they accompanied their mother each day on the endless rounds of ranch chores. Just the sight of them playing and laughing together had her heart lifting.
It seemed no time at all before the fire was blazing, and the air was perfumed with the delicious scent of eggs sizzling, biscuits baking and coffee simmering. After so many days of nothing but dried meat and w
ater, this was a feast. They sat around the fire eating their fill.
After so many nights spent in a cold dark mine shaft, the heat from a roaring fire, and the warmth of sunlight on their faces had their spirits as high as children at Christmas.
“Well now.” Yale bit into his third biscuit and washed it down with a second steaming cup of coffee. He glanced at Seth. “Do you know how lucky you are to have a mama who can cook like this?”
The little boy smiled shyly and nodded. And then, without realizing it, moved closer.
If Yale was surprised he didn’t let on. “These are just about the finest biscuits I’ve ever tasted. And this coffee…” He leaned his back against a fallen log and sipped. “There are men who would give up their ranch and their entire herd of cattle for coffee this good.”
Cody gave a snort of laughter. “You’re teasing us again, aren’t you, Yale?”
“Not this time.” Yale looked beyond the boy to where Cara sat, looking pleased and embarrassed. “Why, I could probably even give up a life of gambling for a woman who could cook like this.”
Clearly intrigued, Cody swallowed his last bite of egg. “If you gave up gambling, what would you do?”
“I’d probably just sit around all day eating and drinking until I got so fat I couldn’t get up off my chair.”
That had Seth and Cody giggling at the image of this lean, muscled man turning soft and plump.
Timidly Seth shifted closer. It seemed the most natural thing in the world for Yale to lift his arm and tuck the little boy close to his side. And just as natural for Seth to curl up against him.
Yale winked at Cara. “And finally, I would just eat so much I’d explode. And everybody would be talking about the time old Yale Conover erupted like a volcano, and bits and pieces of him floated all over town.”
“Could that happen?” Cody asked.
Yale shrugged. “I don’t know. But if your mama keeps on cooking like this, we may find out soon enough. You might see my ear flying over the Black Hills. My beard floating in the stream. My boots soaring all the way to California.”
The children giggled.
“Nobody could ever go that far.” Cody sighed. “But I sure would love to see California.”
“It’s a pretty enough place.” Yale drained his coffee. “But it can’t hold a candle to the Dakota territory.”
“You’ve been there?” The little boy’s attention was suddenly riveted on Yale’s face.
“That’s right.” He smiled. “You thinking of going when you grow up?”
“Yes, sir. I guess I’d do just about anything to see California.”
“Why is that, Cody?”
The boy looked pensive a moment. “My pa told me he always wanted to go there. And I thought…” He glanced at his mother, then away. “…I thought maybe I’d go for my pa.”
“That’s a nice dream, Cody.” Yale set aside his cup and leaned back, stretching out his long legs toward the fire while folding one arm behind his head, keeping the other tucked around Seth. “Dreams are good. They make us stretch and grow and try for things we want and don’t have. Just be sure it’s your dream, and not somebody else’s.”
“Why?” The little boy wasn’t even aware that he had stretched out his legs and folded his hands behind his head, in imitation of the man beside him.
“Because it takes an awful lot of time and energy to chase a dream. And sometimes when we catch it, we find it wasn’t at all what we wanted. It can make a body feel downright foolish to realize he’s chased the wrong dream, when the one he wanted was within his grasp all along.”
“How will I know if it’s the right dream for me?”
Yale shrugged. “Everybody has to find his own. Just don’t let anybody else tell you what you ought to want. Nobody else can know what’s in your heart, Cody. Only you. You remember that.”
“Yes, sir.” The little boy stifled a yawn.
Cara watched and listened in silence, fighting the lump in her throat that was threatening to choke her. There were so many raw emotions twisting inside her. The thought of her own girlish dreams that had been trampled and tossed to the wind. She’d long ago stopped believing in dreams. Had even forgotten to encourage her own sons to follow their dreams. But here was Yale, reminding her again of the feelings she’d known in her childhood, and stirring hope in her sons’ hearts.
Her sons. She’d never believed they could be this relaxed, this carefree again. When she saw Yale pick up a sleeping Seth and cradle him in his big arms, she felt her heart almost bursting with love.
Yale turned to Cody. “How would you and your brother like to sleep right here tonight, under the stars, warmed by the fire?”
“I’d like that.”
“Just unroll the bearskin and we’ll have you tucked in before you know it.”
“Yes, sir.” Cody did as he asked, setting the fur in the grass and settling himself beside his sleeping brother.
Cara crossed to them and knelt to press kisses to their cheeks.
“Good night, Cody,” she whispered.
“Good night, Ma.” The boy looked beyond her to the man who knelt beside her. “’Night, Yale.”
“Good night, Cody.”
While Cara remained beside them, hearing Cody’s prayers, Yale walked to the far side of the fire and pulled a cigar from his pocket. Holding a flaming stick to the end, he drew in smoke, then expelled it, sending a rich fragrant cloud curling over his head.
Cara walked up beside him. “Thank you for today, Yale. It was such a special gift.”
“It was special for me, too. I wasn’t sure I could take one more night in that cold dark mine.”
She smiled. “Truthfully, neither did I. It wasn’t just the food and the fresh air that made this so special. I thank you for the kindness you’ve shown Cody and Seth.”
“That’s easy. They’re wonderful boys, Cara. You’ve done a fine job with them.”
She looked down at her hands, twisting nervously. “They’ve had a hard life. Especially since losing their father. I feel so badly about Cody. He tries to make it up to Seth. To draw his little brother out of his fears. But I know he’s as worried about Seth as I am.”
“He’ll be fine, Cara. He has a strong mother. And a very brave brother. In time, he’ll get his voice back.”
“Do you think so?”
He nodded. “I do. We all have to grieve in our own way. When I lost my ma, I was angry. And I started breaking all the rules. Maybe that was how I figured to even the score. Maybe it’s the same for Seth. Maybe he isn’t so much afraid as he is angry that his pa’s been taken away. This is how he can deal with it. By living in a silent world.” His voice lowered. “How about you, Cara? How are you handling it?”
She shook her head. “There’s been little time for grief. With Wyatt gone, I just never seemed able to keep up with all the chores. Sometimes I feel as though I haven’t taken a single moment to catch my breath.”
“Maybe this is a good time to start.” He reached into his pocket and held something out to her.
She glanced up at him. “What’s this?”
“Soap. I figured, since I was helping myself to so much in that miner’s cabin, I might as well take a few luxuries as well.” He motioned toward the stream, its water glistening in the moonlight. “Why don’t you take some time for yourself, while I stay here and keep an eye on the children.”
“You don’t mind?”
He shook his head and began slipping out of his coat, draping it around her shoulders. “You’d better take this along. It’ll be cold when you step out of the water.”
She felt the warmth of his touch and shivered. But when she lifted her face to his her smile was radiant. “Oh, Yale. A bath.” Her laughter trilled on the night air as she danced lightly away.
It was such a simple thing, Cara thought as she stepped out of her gown and dropped it into the shallows. A bath was something she’d long taken for granted. But since they’d been on the run, she’d
given up hoping for such a thing. And now, with food in her stomach and her children safely tucked into their bed, it had become the finest luxury.
She untied the ribbons of her chemise, and dropped it alongside the gown. Then she sat in the shallows and soaped herself all over, taking time to work up a lather in her hair. She walked into the water, loving the way it lapped at her hips, then higher, covering her breasts. Suddenly she ducked beneath the waves, rinsing her hair until all the soap had floated away. Then, gasping for breath, she came up for air.
Oh, it was so delicious to lie back and float, letting the water take her. She felt weightless. As free as a leaf on the current. The stars overhead were glittering diamonds in a velvet sky. And all of them shining on her. The moonlight cast ribbons of gold across the water, lighting her path.
When she grew tired of floating she rolled over and began to swim in long, smooth strokes toward shore. Once there she soaped her clothes and rinsed them thoroughly before wringing out the water. Then she set them out to dry on low-hanging branches.
Shivering, she pulled on Yale’s black coat and held it around her as she danced through the grass toward their camp.
Yale sat with his back against a still-warm rock and exhaled a cloud of rich smoke. He was feeling mellow. A good meal and a cozy fire had a way of doing that to a man.
Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that Cara was back in his life. There hadn’t been much time to think about that, until the shooting. While he’d been lying there, in and out of consciousness, there’d been nothing else to do but think.
He was a man who’d never put much stock in fate. He believed that every person had to chart his own course and live with the decisions he made. Good or bad, he’d been living with his since he’d been not much older than Cody and Seth.
But all of a sudden he found himself questioning everything he’d ever believed. What else could explain what was happening here? The woman he’d loved for a lifetime was here with him. They were being given a second chance at happiness. It had to be fated. He’d be a fool not to take advantage of it.