He heard the soft footfall and turned to watch her as she made her way toward him.
Once, on a dare from Gabe, he’d climbed on the back of Aaron Smiler’s bull. He’d made it halfway across the field before the bull twisted, rolled, and sent him flying through the air to land with a thud on the hard-packed earth, where he’d had all the wind knocked out of him.
He felt that way now as he watched Cara walk toward him.
Her hair, slick and wet, fanned out around her, dripping with starlight. Though his coat covered her from shoulders to hips, her long, shapely legs were clearly visible. And though she kept one hand at the lapels to hold it closed, he could see the dark cleft between her breasts. His throat went dry at the sight.
“Oh, Yale. I feel so clean and fresh and alive, thanks to you.” She kept on walking until she was standing directly in front of him.
She placed a hand over his. “I left the soap on a flat rock on the banks of the creek. In case…” Her voice lowered. “…you’d like to use it.”
“I suppose I should.” He didn’t move. His gaze was locked on hers.
Her eyes sparkled with moonlight. She smelled as fresh as a meadow after a rain.
He leaned close, breathing her in. Filling himself with the scent of her until he could feel his heartbeat begin to speed up.
Without realizing it his hands were in her hair, his fingers tangling as he drew her face close and covered her mouth with his in a kiss so hot, so hungry, it had them both gasping.
And then they were both lost in it. Lost in feelings that carried them along in a sudden flood of memories. Of first love, and a need so compelling, it had them by the throat, threatening to cut off their breath.
He took the kiss deeper, giving her no time to think. And as he did, his hands slipped inside the coat. Skimmed her body. That perfect, beautiful body.
“Yale.” She drew back, her eyes wide. She hadn’t been surprised by the kiss. But his touch was another thing altogether. The jolt through her system had her pulling away, afraid of the feelings that were tumbling through her. Feelings that were completely out of character. There was such heat. And this sudden deep yearning for things she had thought long dead.
He lowered his hand. “Sorry.”
“No. Don’t be.” Embarrassed, she touched a hand to the beard that covered his lower face. “It’s just that I…I’ve thought of myself as a mother for so long, I’ve forgotten how to feel like a woman. But I’m…so grateful to you for reminding me…”
“Grateful?” He jerked back, stung by the words. He didn’t want her gratitude. Nor did he want her to confuse that gratitude with something else.
Abruptly he turned away. “I’m going to take that bath now. You’d be wise to crawl into the bearskin with your children. You can leave my coat by the fire. I’ll sleep in that tonight.”
“Yale, wait…”
He was already striding toward the stream. Leaving her to stare after him in stunned surprise.
Chapter Fourteen
Cara stood as still as a statue as Yale strode off into the darkness. A jumble of emotions assaulted her. What had she done wrong? She was so unskilled in lovemaking. Though she’d been a wife, she’d hardly been a lover. Still, though she might be clumsy and untutored in the art of love, she wasn’t mistaken about the way Yale felt about her. He’d made that perfectly clear any number of times.
He wanted her. And she wanted him. But now that they had the opportunity to act on their feelings, he’d rejected her. Had walked away without a backward glance.
She drew his coat around her nakedness and turned to the fire, deep in thought. She should have made it easier. Should have reached for him at the same moment he reached for her. And she shouldn’t have reacted when he’d touched her. But she hadn’t been able to help herself. The feel of his hands on her body had been pure heaven, igniting a firestorm of emotions that had her nearly leaping out of her skin. Even now, just thinking about it made her tremble.
Could he have mistaken her reaction for a rejection?
That didn’t seem possible. Still, what had he said, in that gruff tone? She struggled to recall the words.
Grateful. He didn’t want her gratitude. But why not? She was so deeply grateful to him for coming to their rescue at their time of need. It was just another reason why she loved him.
Love. Wasn’t that what they both felt? What they both wanted?
She lifted her head as the realization came. Of course. It was what everyone wanted and craved. Even a proud, independent man like Yale Conover. Love. Pure and simple.
Oh, she’d spoiled everything with her foolish words. Now, somehow she had to make him understand that what she felt for him wasn’t gratitude but love.
Without any idea what she would say or do she turned away from the fire and hurried toward the stream.
Yale took out his frustration on his clothes, kicking them aside, scrubbing them viciously before tossing them over the branches of a tree. Then he scrubbed his hair, his beard, his body, before storming into the deep water to rinse.
Though the water was growing cool, it wasn’t enough to end his torment. What sort of fool had he become that he could believe he had any right to a woman like Cara?
She was all the things he could never be. Honest, decent. Innocent. He’d seen the shock in her eyes when she’d heard the litany of things he’d done wrong in his life. And that had been nothing compared to the shock in her eyes when he’d touched her.
She’d faced the horror of losing her husband, the difficulty of raising two children alone. Now he’d added to her distress by allowing her to confuse gratitude with something much different.
And just what was it he was feeling toward her? Wasn’t it mere lust? The thought of finally having the fantasy-woman he’d carried in his memory for so long?
Or was it something deeper?
It didn’t matter, he thought as he swam downstream, then back, feeling the anger still smoldering. No matter what he was feeling, he had no right to act on it. Not with a woman as fine as Cara.
He touched bottom and started walking through the water. Suddenly he stopped, his eyes narrowing on the figure standing on the banks.
His tone was harsh with the anger that was still simmering. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.”
Cara shook her head, sending her damp hair drifting around her shoulders like a silken veil. Courage, she warned herself. This was no time to run from his anger. “It isn’t sleep I want, Yale.”
His voice was rougher than he intended. “I don’t think you know what’s good for you.”
“Don’t I?”
“What…?” Before he could speak, she tossed aside his coat and started into the water toward him.
To see her as he’d always dreamed of seeing her, naked, perfect, robbed him of speech. All he could do was stare at the high, firm breasts, the slender hips, those long, shapely legs as she walked slowly through the waves until she was standing in front of him.
“What I want is you, Yale.”
He was already shaking his head. “You don’t know…”
She reached for him. The moment she touched him, the protest died on his lips. “There’s so much I don’t know, Yale. But I know this. I’m grateful for what you did for us. It was so brave and bold. But then…” Her lips curved in a smile. “…I’ve always known you to be brave and bold.”
“I don’t want…”
She touched a finger to his mouth. Just a finger, but he felt the heat race through his body and settle in his loins.
“I haven’t come here to offer my gratitude. I’m here because, more than anything in the world, I want to love you. Not long ago you told me that there would come a time when we’d be all alone, and you would show me all the things you were feeling. We’re alone now, Yale. Will you lie with me? Will you make love with me? Here? Now?”
His eyes smoldered. “Do you know what you’re asking?”
“I do.”
He framed he
r face with his hands, his eyes steady on hers. His voice came out in a sigh that came from deep inside. “I’ve waited a lifetime to hear those words.”
“I know.” There was no surprise in her. No hesitation this time as she lifted a palm to the dark beard that covered his lower face. “I’ve waited a lifetime to say them.”
“Cara. Cara.” He dragged her roughly against him, his mouth on hers, stealing her breath as he kissed her long and slow and deep, until they were both gasping.
Water lapped at their hips, but nothing could cool the heat spiraling through their veins.
He closed his hands over her upper arms, holding her a little away. “I’m not sure I can be gentle. I’m afraid…I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
She was already shaking her head in denial. “Is this my bold, reckless outlaw? Or are you an imposter? What have you done with my wild, dangerous Yale Conover, who came to my house one night, demanding that I go away with him?”
He laughed then and dragged her close. But the laughter died as he savaged her mouth, letting that one kiss speak of all the longing, all the hunger he’d endured through the years.
He drew the kiss out, lingering over her lips, unable to get enough of the sweet, clean taste of her. When at last his mouth left hers he ran hot wet kisses along the column of her throat, then brought his mouth lower, to close over her nipple.
She moaned and clutched at him, afraid that at any moment her knees would buckle.
As if reading her thoughts he scooped her up and started toward the shallows. Before he’d taken two steps his mouth was back on hers, like a man starved for the taste of her.
“This is madness.” On a quick breath she cupped his face, as eager, as hungry as he. Everything inside her was poured into the kiss.
She could feel the heat of him. The strength. The danger. All excited her, and had her straining for more.
“Then I guess we’re both mad.” His lips raced over her face, brushing her eyelid, her nose, the corner of her mouth.
“I’ve been mad for you for all my life, Yale.”
“I know the feeling.” He was grateful to reach the shallows, where he set her on her feet. And gathered her close to feast on her mouth.
All the while his hands began a lazy exploration of her body. He saw her eyes glaze in the moonlight, and heard her sudden moan as his thumbs stroked her already erect nipples.
She pressed herself against him, urging him to take what she offered.
It was all he could do to resist taking her quickly, to end this hard, driving need that was ripping through him. But he wanted more. So much more. He wanted all she had to give, and then more.
His breath was coming in short bursts, and he cautioned himself to slow down. To taste. To savor. They had both waited so long for this. Too long. If this was all he could give her, it would have to be enough to last a lifetime.
He lifted her off her feet and carried her up the slippery banks of the stream, then slowly lowered her to the grass, where he lay beside her. Calling on all his willpower, he forced himself to go slowly, running soft, nibbling kisses across her shoulder, down her throat, until his tongue circled her breast.
He saw the glitter of starlight in her eyes. Saw them widen, then narrow with concentration, as his hands began moving over her.
“I used to see you like this in my dreams, Cara. I’d imagine you in my bed. The thought of it tormented me.”
“It was the same for me.”
He shook his head. In the moonlight his dark eyes crinkled with humor even while they pinned her. “I doubt it was the same. You have no idea the things I’ve wanted to do with you. To you.”
“Show me.” Her voice had changed. Deepened with passion. With need.
His mouth closed around her breast, nibbling, suckling, while his hands moved over her until he found her, hot and moist, and took her on a wild, dizzying ride.
Startled, she could do nothing more than close her hands into fists as he took her up, then over. He saw her eyes darken. Heard her moan. But before she could recover, his greedy mouth was moving down her body, taking her into dark, new places she’d never even dreamed of.
“Yale.” She jerked back, afraid, but he was beyond hearing as he took her again until she was shuddering.
Her breath came out in a gasp as the shocking climax tore through her. Without giving her a chance to breathe he rolled them both over so that she was straddling him, and his greedy mouth set to work tasting, feasting.
Her body was damp with sweat, straining over his, setting sparks wherever she rubbed. She was frantic for more.
“I want you in me.” Her voice was a hoarse cry of desperation as she moved over him.
“Not yet.” He turned her yet again, so that she was on her back in the grass and he lay over her, his eyes fixed on her with such intensity, she was certain he could see through to her very soul. “There’s so much more, Cara. I want to show you all of it. Everything.”
Though he could feel himself dangerously close to exploding, he forced himself to touch, to taste, until she shared his madness. With lips and teeth and tongue he drove her higher, then higher still, keeping relief just out of reach.
Beside them the stream rippled over rocks, splashing, gurgling. Neither of them heard. Overhead the full moon cast ribbons of gold over them, bathing them in its light. But they were blind to it. Blind to all but the need that had them hovering on the very edge of a high, steep cliff.
The fragrance of evergreen was all around her, filling his lungs, until all he could smell, all he could taste was her. His eyes were focused on her. All he could see was the way she looked, her hair a soft, silken veil drifting around a face softened by moonlight. A face as desperate, as dazed, as his own.
Every breath tore at his lungs as he entered her. With an unbelievable strength she rose up to meet him, her body wrapping itself around his, her arms and legs a silky tangle as she began to move with him, to climb with him.
His eyes were hot and fierce as he lowered his mouth to hers, needing to taste her as they mated.
“I love you, Cara. Always you. Only you.”
She whispered his name, or thought she did.
Muscles straining, they stepped over the edge.
And soared.
Cara lay perfectly still, afraid to move. Afraid even to breathe.
Except for the ripple of water in the stream, the night had gone silent. No birds cried. No insects chirped or hummed. It was as if the whole world had slipped away. She was alone in the universe with Yale.
His face was buried in her neck, his breath pumping out in short bursts.
He lifted his face and looked down into her eyes. “Am I too heavy?”
She shook her head. “I like having you here.” She lifted a hand to his bearded cheek. “Just here.”
“Are you all right?”
She nodded. “I feel…” She sighed. “Is it always like that, Yale?”
“Like what?”
“So…” She struggled for the words. “I saw stars.”
“You did?” He thought about that, and found himself extremely pleased. “Was that the first time…I mean…hasn’t that ever happened before?”
“No. Never. In fact, I never dreamed it could be like that.”
His smile had her heart stuttering. “Then I guess that makes me your first.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I like being the first.”
She shivered. The cocky, self-assured rogue was back. Or perhaps he’d never been gone. Maybe she’d just imagined the hesitation, the tenderness, when she’d first offered herself to him.
“You’re cold.” He rolled to his side and gathered her into his arms.
She wasn’t cold. In fact, her skin was still flushed. But she found that she liked being held like this. Loved hearing the steady beat of his heart close to her ear, and feeling the warmth of his breath against her temple.
In fact, if this was all part of lovemaking, she wanted more of it. It was unlike anything sh
e’d ever experienced before.
“You’re incredible, Cara.”
She looked up at him, surprised by the tenderness of his tone. “In what way?”
“In every way.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I still can’t believe I’m actually lying here holding you. For so long now I’ve fantasized about it. Thought about all the ways I’d love you if I ever had the chance.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself to the length of him, and brought her mouth to his. Against his lips she muttered, “And now you’ve had your chance.”
“What do you mean, had?” He drew back, seeing the way her eyes widened. Then he chuckled. A sound that had her looking even more confused. “Did you think we were through?”
“Well, I thought you’d want to sleep.”
“Why sleep, when there are more important things we can do?”
“But we’ve done them.” She saw his quick grin. “Haven’t we?”
“Cara, my innocent.” He ran soft butterfly kisses down the smooth column of her throat and felt the way she shivered. Her reaction had his eyes narrowing with sudden need as passion flared again. “Think of all the hours between now and dawn. My sweet, sweet, Cara, we haven’t even begun.”
Chapter Fifteen
Cara was having the loveliest dream. She was young and carefree, racing across the hills of her ranch, and into the open arms of Yale Conover. He was laughing. A wonderful rich sound that never failed to thrill her as he swept her up and kissed her before swinging her around and around until she was deliciously dizzy.
She awoke smiling, and turned to find him studying her with that intensity that always stirred her heart.
“Good morning.” Her smile grew. “What are you doing?”
“Watching you.” He ran a fingertip from her temple to her jaw. “I love watching you. There were so many times in my life when I thought I’d never see you again. And now that you’re here, I can’t seem to get enough of you.”
“I should have thought, after last night, you’d had enough.”
That had him grinning. All night they’d loved. At times their lovemaking had been as fierce as a summer storm. Bright flashes of lightning and all the fury of thunder. At other times they’d come together with a gentleness, a tenderness that brought a lump to her throat and made her almost weep for the sheer beauty of it.