***
When the doorman at JC’s opened the car door for Tierra, she was whisked inside immediately. Once inside, she stood looking around in amazement. JC’s had been transformed into a virtual flower garden. In the center of the dance floor stood Malcolm with a bouquet of mixed blossoms in his hands.
Tierra smiled and walked towards him.
“Malcolm, what’s going on? Did you do all this?”
Malcolm kissed her on the cheek and took her hand in his free one. “Yes, I wasn’t sure of your favorite flower, so I ordered them all,” he shrugged.
“Malcolm, I told you. You don’t have to do all this, really. It’s too much,” she insisted.
“See that’s why I love you so much,” Malcolm said, hugging her. “Is all this for me?” he remarked, spinning her around her, admiring her outfit.
“Well we are here to celebrate,” she replied. Secretly though, she wanted to talk to Qu. She wanted to celebrate with her best friend. But surprisingly she found herself calling Malcolm, to inform him of her news. He insisted on taking her out to celebrate.
Being here with him though, even with all his grand gestures, didn’t make her feel half as good as chilling on the sofa watching a football game with Qu.
“That we are, and I’m so proud of you. Jonathan couldn’t have made a better choice.” he said, caressing her cheek. “Ok, come on, let’s sit down so we can eat,” he led her to a table off to the side of the dance floor.
A waitress came over and filled their water glasses, another brought over salads with raisins, dried cranberries and apples mixed with a variety of lettuce greens, followed by raspberry sorbet, then mango glazed, grilled chicken breasts with a mango and pineapple salsa, rice pilaf, cream spinach, and buttermilk biscuits.
The two of them ate in silence. Occasionally Tierra would look up and wonder what it was she saw in him that no one else seemed to see. Why was everyone so against a man who was set to make her dreams come true?
“For dessert,” Malcolm began, standing up looking towards the band. Soon thereafter they began to play. Tierra looked towards them as Roe’s eyes fixated on her.
“Tierra, these past few months have been great. I’ve learned so much about you. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know all there is to know about you.”
“Oh my!” she said, looking at Malcolm as he lowered himself to one knee in front of her, taking her left hand in his.
“Tierra Rodriquez, would you please, spend the rest of your life with me?” Malcolm proposed, holding out a huge 5-carat diamond solitaire engagement ring.
She just looked in disbelief at Malcolm. ‘Marriage? But we’ve only been dating for 2 months. Is he crazy? He has to be crazy. There is no way I’m marrying him!’ she thought!
“This isn’t funny,” she finally managed to say, before getting up from the table, taking a few steps back.
“I’m serious,” he responded, grabbing her by the wrist.
“You can’t be. We don’t even know each other that well,” she reminded him, trying to pull her wrist out of his clutches. “You’ve never even met my mom. I’ve never met your family….”
“What’s going on here? I went through a lot to show you, I want to be with you. You ain’t going to play me now!” he said looking around the room. “We’ve been like PB&J for the past 2 months. Hell, I even let you take me to church! Now, would I do all that, if we weren’t meant to be together?” he responded, pulling her closer to him.
“PB&J Malcolm, really?” he had a nerve! That was what she referred to her friendship with Qu as, he knew that.
“I mean, come on Tierra, dude ain’t got nothing on me. That should be our name. Trust me, say yes and I’ll help you forget that lame dude!” Malcolm replied,` irritated. “If you don’t trust that I really want to be with you, then maybe I gave you too much credit. I could have…” he began, and then cleared his throat before continuing, “I want you, Tierra. Here, maybe this will help you decide,” he slid the expensive ring on her finger. “See how this feels for a while. Maybe you can picture yourself as my wife, and we can move on. You let me know, but… don’t take too long,” he said in a soft tone, leaning to her ear, “you know I’m not good with waiting. Like you told me once, I can have anyone I want. I chose you,” he kissed her very passionately, while fuming inside. Smiling devilishly, he turned and walked away, leaving her standing in the middle of the floor.
Tierra made her way over to the bar and asked the woman behind it to make her a Blue Hawaiian She turned and looked at the entrance, thinking maybe Malcolm would return, but he didn’t. When she picked up her drink, there was a clang sound. She looked down, to see the ring he’d slid on her finger. There was a smile inside, but she refused to let it out. This was too fast, right?
Roe stood up from his piano and began to walk towards her.
“I got this one,” Brownstone said, pressing her hand to Roe’s chest. “This needs a lady’s touch.”
Roe threw his hands up and bowed to Brownstone as he helped her step off the stage. Tierra was still standing at the bar, still in a daze, when Brownstone approached.
“Tierra?”
“I must look really stupid right now, huh?” she started. “There are thousands of women who would love for Malcolm to just say hello to them. He asked me to marry him and… I just stood there.”
“Tierra, forget what some other woman would love for him to do. What does your head tell you?”
“My head? My head says things are moving too fast…”
“I know people say listen to your heart, but your heart can mislead you. You get all caught up in emotions, and think you’re in love, when actually, maybe you’re just in like. I don’t want to see you say yes to something you should have said no to,” she touched Tierra gently on the shoulder as she spoke. “I’m not saying that Malcolm isn’t the guy for you, girlfriend. I don’t know him like that. But I do know you, and you’ve kept your heart locked up tight for a long time. If you’re not sure, maybe you need to take some time and think about why.”
The room suddenly felt like Tierra was on a merry-go-round blindfolded. Her skin looked like she ran through a sprinkler on a hot July day. She grabbed the sides of her head trying to keep the vice grip someone had thrown it in, from tightening any further. It was like she had tunnel vision. One minute she could hear the conversation fine and the next the she knew the sound began to fade. She knew this feeling all too well, and reached out for the bar just in front of her. But it was too late. She fell forward, limp, hitting her head on the way down.
“DAMN!” Roe and Travis yelled together, jumping off the stage. Brownstone told Travis to go and retrieve Jade from the back and bring a wet cold towel with him on his return. When Jade arrived, Brownstone and Roe had already helped Tierra to her feet and was in the process of walking her over to a booth. Unsteadily she slid into the booth, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Brownstone used the cool towel to wipe the sweat from Tierra’s face. Afterwards she placed it on her head where a bump was clearly forming. Jade told the trio to return to the stage and prepare for the club to open, while she talked to Tierra.
“Tierra, you’re my girl. But, what the hell just happened?”
“I don’t know Jade?” Tierra responded sitting up quickly, grabbing the towel off her head. “Don’t you think I ask myself everyday what’s wrong with me? I mean, why don’t I feel like he feels? He’s all any woman would want in a man, but I’m not happy… not really,” she vented, feeling the merry-go-round ride begin again. She replaced the towel on her throbbing head.
“Then why are you still with him, if you don’t think you love him?”
“I keep thinking maybe if I give it more time. Maybe I just need to try harder. I don’t know. Am I crazy, Jade?”
“I wouldn’t say crazy Tierra. But tell me when you see Malcolm, what do you feel? Does your heart light up? Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you look forward to seeing h
im?”
“Well, I mean, I don’t get all fluttery if that’s what you’re asking. I like being with him, but sometimes…” she took the towel down again and looked at the table, “Sometimes, I wish he had never asked me out, or that I had never ever said yes.”
“What are you so afraid of? Do you think that if you let him go there won’t be any one else?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just I haven’t dated since college. I mean, even then I only went on one date, and that ended bad. I gave up Jade. This is my first real relationship, EVER. If I can’t get this right then…”
“Tierra,” Jade interrupted trying not to laugh, she didn’t want to offend her friend, “ girl listen, no one gets it right on the first try?”
“I just thought… I thought, if I prayed, God would lead me to the right one.”
“Have you really been listening to the voice of God? I can assure you, if this isn’t who he wants for you, he has sent messages to you. Have you been listening for a response to your prayers, or have you been waiting for the response you want to hear?”
Tierra lay with her head against the booth. She thought about the past two months and all the warnings and advice she’d received from her friends. Exhausted and agitated, she began to cry.
Jade stood up, took hold of her by the arm and led her back to the bar. She sat her down on a bar stool in front of the huge mirror that hung on the wall behind several brands of liquor.
“Look at that woman! What do you see?”
“Failure,” Tierra responded lowering her head.
Jade lifted her chin, “You need to look closer. You’re not going to let this ruin all you have accomplished, are you? You have made it to the top of you department. Do you think that is what a failure does? You are a strong, attractive, God-fearing woman. Give yourself credit for taking this step at all. Heck, I never thought I’d see you walk in here, on the arm of a man, and you did. Now you need to decide if this relationship is what you want?!”
Tierra stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t a failure. Jade was correct, she took a step she never thought she would, and now she just had to plan her next step.
“Brownstone, Roe,” Jade called, motioning for them to come over.
“Change of plans. Malcolm paid for the club for the night. Let’s close up, ok. You two take Tierra home.”
They nodded, as Roe helped Tierra off the bar stool. Jade gave her good friend a big hug and smiled affectionately at her. Then the trio made their way out to Roe’s car.
When they arrived at Tierra’s apartment, Roe explained to Mrs. Rodriquez what happened, as Brownstone walked her to her bedroom.
“Don’t worry,” Mrs. Rodriquez assured them. “I will take care of her, she’ll be alright.” She escorted them to the door, and then made her way to her daughter’s bedroom. Tierra was lying on her stomach, screaming into the bed. She pulled her blanket over her head, as her mother sat on the end of the bed.
“Mom, please don’t say anything. I don’t think I can take it,” she sobbed from under the blanket.
Nicole Rodriquez pulled the blanket back and looked at her daughter lovingly. Her daughter laid before her, emotionally spent. Her eyes were red, her eyeliner made a raccoon mask out of her once beautiful eyes. Barely noticeable remnants of her Bamboo Pink lip color remained on her lips and her hair returned to the natural state she hated.
Nicole walked over to Tierra’s dresser, and pulled out one of her Betty Boop nightgowns. With the nightgown in hand, she walked into the bathroom, turned on the IPod, scrolled to the praise24 playlist and turned on the faucet on the Jacuzzi. She sat the nightgown down on the vanity before speaking to her daughter.
“Tierra… go and talk to the Lord,” she pointed, standing in the doorway between the bathroom and bedroom.
Tierra looked blankly at her mom. “In the bathroom?”
“Yes, Tierra, that’s where you relax, where you unwind. That’s where you may hear him more clearly,” she said convincingly.
As Tierra rose, her body felt like someone was a child holding onto her legs. She looked down barely able to move. The closer she moved to the bathroom the harder it became.
“Mom, I can’t. I need to sleep.”
“Tierra that is just the enemy trying to keep you from hearing what God has to say. Get in there, push through it,” her mother insisted.
“Lord, open her ears so that she may hear your voice clearly,” she pleaded closing the bedroom door.
I’m Yours