“What he means…” Matt tried.
“I mean what I said. I find it surprising that you would give a shit about Connor. Oh wait, is this all another act of yours?” James hissed, his eyes glaring at me with so much hate.
I felt my eyes fill with tears and I tried to blink them away.
“Don’t you usually only think about yourself?” James spat out, looking at me in disgust.
That certainly hit a nerve.
I raised my hand to my mouth in an attempt to muffle the sob that broke loose. At the look of regret crossing James’ face, I broke. With tears streaming down my face, I left the lunchroom, unable to handle it anymore. I didn’t even think about what I was doing as I hopped inside my car and drove off. I was about to turn onto a street, when I slammed the brakes, stopping only an inch away from the irate guy in front of me.
“Would you watch where you’re going?” he yelled.
I panicked and got out of my car, apologizing repeatedly.
“Hey, it’s okay,” the guy said softly. “No need to cry.”
Only then did I realize I was still crying.
“I… I… I…”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself,” he said, rubbing my arm comfortingly.
“If there’s anything I can do for…” I began to say.
“Actually, there is,” he said, his eyes twinkling.
I took in a gulp of air as I waited nervously.
“I want your number.”
I let out the gulp of air in a relieved sigh. Then, his words sunk in, and I took a step back.
“But I don’t know you,” I said, feeling unsure of myself.
“That’s the point. We can get to know each other,” he said, flashing me a breathtaking smile.
I simply nodded as I took his phone from his hand, and added myself as a contact.
“Bella. That’s a beautiful name,” he said sincerely.
I blushed and tried to look away, but I was mesmerized by his sparkling green eyes.
“I’ve got to go now. But I’ll see you around,” he said with a smug smile.
I blushed again and nodded furiously. And just as he was about to turn the corner, I remembered something.
“Wait! You never told me your name!” I called out.
He turned back, grinning. “I’ll save that bit of information for our date,” he said with a wink.
I smiled and went back inside my car. And only then did it dawn on me that he had said “date.”
What have I gotten myself into?
Connor
I had told Bella, out of the blue, that I was done with her. And now, she was all over Liam. Call me pathetic and shit, but that made me feel depressed. Never… never in my life had a girl not fallen instantly for me. Sure, there were a couple of girls who took a while to break, but Bella was different.
I could honestly say that the passion I felt during the kisses we’d shared, it was unlike anything else I’d ever experienced. I wanted her to be mine more than anything else, but it seemed that she really wanted nothing to do with me. As much as I tried to get her to admit the passion between us, it seemed that I was only hopelessly trying to convince her.
And I couldn’t cope with the rejection.
“Connor, baby, what’s wrong? You seem distracted,” Jenna, or was it Lili, said.
I frowned and looked down at her. “Sorry,” I muttered.
She smiled, batted her eyes flirtatiously, and then began to kiss me, rocking her hips against mine.
This wasn’t what I wanted, but I felt weak. Bella didn’t want me so I assumed that getting laid would help.
Douche move, Connor. Douche move.
“Connor!” Jenna/Lili moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow.
I pulled out, falling to the side. “You should go now,” I muttered, grabbing all my clothes.
“B-but… why?” she asked, sounding hurt.
I stood up, pulling up my jeans but ditching my shirt.
“Go.” I know, I was being a dick but I was pissed. Nothing could get my mind off of Bella. I even ditched school for the rest of the week, hoping it would help.
As you could see, it didn’t.
I led the way down the stairs as Jenna/Lili followed me, pulling on her clothes in a rush.
“Will you call me?” she asked when we reached the door.
“Probably not,” I said bluntly, not even feeling the slightest bit of guilt as a look of hurt crossed her face. I grew impatient and reached around her, opening the door.
“Bye now,” I said, keeping my eyes on her.
“Connor?”
My head snapped towards the doorway. There she stood, the girl I couldn’t forget, the one who had hurt me, the girl that I might actually like.
“Bella?” I asked, surprised to find her there.
“Don’t bother, hun,” Jenna/Lili spat out. “He’s only good for a fuck and that’s all.”
She stormed past Bella and went into her car, slamming her door extra hard.
I turned my attention back to Bella, her face emotionless.
“A good fuck, huh?” With that, Bella turned to leave.
I frowned and grabbed her wrist, turning her around. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked, confused.
“You,” she hissed out, yanking her arm away. She left in the same manner as Jenna/Lili, and all I could do was stand there, stupefied.
What the hell just happened?!
Bella
So many questions were running through my mind as I drove home, tears cascading down my face.
Why was I hurt when I saw that girl with Connor?
Why did James snap at me?
Did Connor say something bad about me?
Why did I think he liked me?
When did I start liking Connor?
Did I like Connor?
Why was I crying?!
I pulled over and let loose. I dropped my head to my hands and sobbed. Everything was happening so fast, I was completely frazzled, which I guess was why I was having a mental breakdown.
And Liam thinks I like him.
Connor doesn’t want anything to do with me. Why would he? He is nothing but a heartbreaker.
Some random guy has my number, and apparently, we are going on a date.
Twenty minutes later
I leaned back, wiping away the tears left on my cheeks. Then I started the car and drove home, hoping to be able to talk to my mum.
As they say, a mother is always right.
I opened the front door and entered in a hurry.
“Mum! You home?” I called out.
“Pumpkin? Why are you home so early?” she asked, looking up in surprise from her computer.
“I… I need you,” I whimpered.
“Say no more,” she said, making her way to me.
One hour later
We sat on my bed, laughing our heads off.
“You nearly killed some guy and now you’re going on a date with him?” she asked between laughs.
“I guess so,” I said, smiling.
“Wait, he’s not some old man, is he?” she asked me, her eyes wide with fear.
“Mum!” I gasped, slapping her playfully. “Of course not! He’s like my age. I think he goes to a different high school though.”
“Oh, okay,” my mum said, smiling again. “Just be careful, though. He could be one of those serial killers.”
I laughed and nodded.
“Don’t worry, mum. I don’t plan on ever seeing him again,” I reassured her.
She cracked a grin and leaned back.
“So, what are you going to do about the Connor-and-Liam problem?” she asked, sounding serious.
I frowned and said, “I’m not sure. I… I just feel so conflicted.”
My mum nodded understandingly.
“My advice? Go for Connor.”
My eyes widened and I stared at her for a moment. “But after all he’s done?” I said, shocked.
; “Honey, you said it yourself. Liam is sweet and kind, but you don’t feel any connection. I know Connor has a bad reputation and all. But you should take the risk, especially if you feel that somewhere in your heart, you like him.”
“That’s the thing, Mum. I don’t know how I feel about Connor. He’s just so confusing. And I don’t want to put myself out there just so he can use me,” I said, falling back onto my bed and lying down.
My mum copied me so that we were lying side by side.
“But you guys seemed so happy…” she trailed off.
“I know!” I said, throwing my hands up. “I don’t even know him that well, but he’s the only one who’s actually tried to get to know me.”
“What about Jess? I thought you two were really close.”
I sighed. “We are. It’s just that I don’t want to burden her with all my problems, my past.” I added the last part in a whisper.
“You should,” my mum said, sitting up to look at me. “Pumpkin, you need to be able to talk to someone, in case you ever have a breakdown. You need someone to be there for you.”
I nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Jessica should know the real me, not just the one I want her to know.”
“Now, about my Liam-and-Connor problem…” I said, trailing off.
My mum lay back down next to me.
“Oh, just become a lesbian,” she said, cracking a smile, clearly just trying to lighten the mood.
I burst out laughing, looking back at my mum.
“Thank you,” I said gratefully.
“Anything for my baby,” she cooed, pinching my cheek.
I squealed and pulled away, playfully glaring at her.
As for my problem, I knew what I was going to do.
Jessica
“Calm down, you freak!” James shouted, pinning my wrists to the lockers.
I growled and kicked out my legs while continuing to struggle.
“What did you do to her?” I screamed. I managed to break loose after giving his shin a good kick, causing him to let go and grasp his leg painfully.
“Who?” he asked, glaring at me angrily.
“Bella!” I yelled, lifting my leg to kick him again.
Suddenly, he was in front of me again, and he shoved me onto the lockers, using his body to pin down mine.
“What has happened to you? You used to be the shy, quiet girl, who was too scared to even look my way. Now, you are some deranged, psychotic bitch trying to kill me!” James said as I struggled to push him away.
“Yeah, well, that was before you screwed with my best friend, asshole!” I snarled as I tried to find a way to get away.
“You know, all your wiggling against me is kind of a turn on,” he whispered, leaning his face only a mere inch away from mine.
That got me to freeze completely, pressing myself against the locker in an attempt to distance myself.
“Look, I know I said some bad things to Bella. And I feel really bad,” he said, pausing. “If I could take it back, I would.”
“You made her cry,” I snapped, glaring at him.
He sighed and looked away before meeting my angry eyes.
“She put Connor through a lot. He’s one of my best friends and I couldn’t stand to see him so hurt,” he said.
“Hurt? Connor?” I scoffed. “Whatever you say.”
James frowned, annoyed. “She was a total bitch to him. One minute she kisses him, then the next, she’s telling him he’s not good enough.”
My eyes widened at this.
“Wow! So she didn’t tell you?” James asked. “Maybe you two aren’t as good friends as you thought you were.”
With all my strength, I managed to push James away. And without another word, I left.
That girl had some explaining to do.
Bella
My mum left to go pick up Luca and Sophie while I decided to stay home alone. A knock sounded on the door. Hmm, I wonder who that could be, I thought to myself, opening the door.
“Oh, hey J——”
“We need to talk.”
An hour and a half later
“That’s some serious shit,” Jess said after a moment of silence.
I laughed and leaned back on the couch.
“Tell me about it.” I nodded in agreement.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, looking concerned.
“Well, my mum suggested that I become a lesbian.”
Jess collapsed back onto the chair, laughing her head off.
“Are you?” she asked, her eyes shining.
“What? No!” I said, laughing. “No, I’m just going to stay away from guys for now. Focus on school stuff.”
“Bo-ring!” Jess yelled loudly.
I raised an eyebrow as I watched her. “What do you suggest I do?” I asked, slightly annoyed.
She leaned forward. “I say you go out. You know, keep your social life alive. Show those guys you don’t need them to have fun. Live a little… with no drama.”
I thought it over and said, “Not a bad idea.”
She shrugged. “I’m awesome!”
“Yeah, and violent. Is James okay?” I asked.
“Meh, he could combust, and I wouldn’t give a shit,” she said with a simple shrug.
I laughed and smiled. Now’s the time. I need to tell her about Sam.
“Jess, there’s something I need to tell you,” I said nervously.
She watched me, concern clouding her face.
“What is it?” she asked.
I took a deep breath before starting. “It all started sophomore year…”
Another hour later
Jess was now sitting on the same couch as I am, holding me in a comforting embrace.
“That’s awful,” she whispered, rocking me back and forth.
“I know,” I whispered back, my voice weak.
She pulled away, looking into my eyes.
“Let’s do something,” she said, standing up.
“What?” I asked, looking up at her.
“Come on,” she said, pulling me up. “We’re going to the football game.”
“What? Why?” I asked, now completely confused.
“Because I refuse to let you stay at home on a Friday night, crying about what some inconsiderate, good-for-nothing asshole did to you,” she announced. She looked me over, frowning. “You need to change.”
Thirty minutes later
“It’s almost six, the game’s at seven,” Jess called out as I dug through my closet. Now I know what you’re thinking. Thirty minutes and she still hadn’t picked out an outfit? Ha! No, I had picked out at least twelve outfits, but not one got Jess' approval.
“Jess, I can’t think of anything else to wear!” I complained, dramatically collapsing to the floor.
“Out of my way,” she said, nearly stepping on me as she entered my closet.
I watched from the floor as she pulled out my old light blue skinny jeans and white shirt that had slits all over the back.
“Wear this,” she said, pulling out my black leather ankle boots.
“Isn’t it a little too much?” I asked, standing up and taking the clothes.
She didn’t even hesitate before answering. “Of course not. You’ll look great. Trust me. And the party afterwards is always really fun,” she said.
“What party?” I asked.
She gave me a warning look and I quickly started changing.
“Mind if I borrow something?” she asked.
“Go a——”
“What is that?” she asked.
I stood awkwardly with my shirt off, ready to put on my top. She sighed and pulled out a red lacy bra. I looked down at the plain white one that I was wearing, letting out a groan of defeat as I took the red bra from her hand.
Forty-five minutes later
We gave each other once-overs as we got ready to leave. Jess was right, I looked really good. And she did, too.
She wore a light blue long-sleeved shirt with a plun
ging neckline, along with a pair of black skinny jeans. Meanwhile, she made me switch into my faded skinny jeans that had rips and tears all over it. She insisted it helped complete my badass look, which I have to agree with.
“Leggo,” she said, leaving my room.
I followed her, after making sure to tell my mum where I was going.
“You two have fun!” she said with a wink.
“Oh, you know we will,” Jess said, grinning.
My mum laughed and returned to typing on her computer as we left.
This is going to be one interesting night.
Chapter 12
“Connor!” I shrieked, standing up in dismay as Jack stumbled back, clutching his face.
Connor immediately looked my way, distracted. Unfortunately, Jack took this to his advantage and punched Connor back, square in the jaw. I panicked and sprinted towards the field, pushing through the crowds of people in order to get around the fence. Just as I got there, Connor lunged at Jack, knocking him over. They began rolling around, throwing punches left and right.
“Guys, stop!” I screamed, ready to step in. But before I could reach out to pull Connor off of Jack, I was yanked backwards.
“Don’t get in the middle of that,” James told me, restraining me from moving forward.
“James! Do something!” I said, struggling under his hold. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked to the side, at Matt.
“Matt, stop them,” I pleaded, glancing back at Connor and Jack.
Jack was now on top, raining blows down on Connor. It didn’t last for long, though, because Connor managed to flip them over so that he was the one on top.
“It’s okay, Bella. Calm down,” Matt said, trying to reassure me.
The coaches finally stepped in, pulling them apart.
“Save it for the game!” the coach roared.
I pulled away from James, rushing towards Connor.
“Are you okay?” I asked, wincing at the sight of his bloody lip and already bruising jaw.
He nodded slightly before pushing past me and walking over to the rest of the team. Covering the hurt I felt and ignoring the pitiful looks, I made my way back to my seat.