Like I said, I was wasted as fuck.
As I pushed past the grinding bodies of wasted teenagers, I giggled and stumbled around like a complete idiot.
“Hey, Bella,” I looked up to see Liam awkwardly leaning against the wall, completely sober.
“Liaaammm, why you no drinkkk?” I yelled into his ear.
He winced and gently pushed me away. “I’m the designated driver,” he said uncomfortably.
“Yeah… but you can still have a drink,” I said, looking at him distastefully.
His cheeks turned a faint shade of red and he looked away for a moment.
“I should go,” he said, trying to move around me.
Stupidly, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards me. Well, onto me for that matter. And Liam managed to keep me from falling, catching the both of us.
“Bella, you are really drunk,” he said.
“Come on, let’s get you a drink,” I said, putting my arms around his neck.
Liam frowned and gripped my arms, gently removing them away from his face.
“I don’t drink,” he said slowly.
“Why not?” I asked, stumbling a bit.
He steadied me and replied, “My sister was ki——”
"Boring!" I yelled and giggled.
Liam stared at me, looking surprised, before his expression hardened. Then, he pushed me away, stalking off. I chased after him and grabbed his arm.
“What’sss… the matterrr… with youuu?” I slurred.
Liam looked completely pissed as he glared at me.
“Leave me alone, Bella.”
I gripped his arm tightly, refusing to let him walk away.
“Why?” I asked.
“Why? Bella are you serious?” he asked, leaning in a bit.
“Isss… this because… I didn’t want to listen… to your ssstupid ssstory?”
A look of pain and hurt washed over Liam’s face and he yanked his arm out of my grip.
“You’re heartless!” he spat out. “We’re through. I thought you were different, Bella, but I was sadly mistaken.”
My jaw dropped open as he walked away from me without another word.
What the hell just happened?!
One hour later
“And then he just walked off!” I said as I slumped against the wall.
Jess enfolded me in her arms and dropped her head onto my shoulder. “It’s okay… honey. You… didn’t do anything… wrong,” she slurred, her eyes slowly closing.
“Is it that I-I’m just not good enough?” I asked, my voice shrill and cracking. A couple of tears ran down my cheek as I took a swig of whatever was now in my cup.
Jess pulled away, looking me directly in the eyes. “Of course not!” she said, leaning her hands against my shoulders for support. “Connor and Liam are just stupid!”
“B-but…”
“No! They are complete douchebags for giving up on you. And you know what? You still have Jack. And girl, that boy is fine!” Jess said, her eyes twinkling.
“You know what? You’re right! I don’t need Connor or Liam, I have Jack!” I said, pushing myself off the wall. “Ha! Take that, Connor and Liam!”
“Yes! That’s right!” Jess cheered me on, nodding like a bobblehead.
“You know what?” I said, my eyes widening. “I’m going to tell them. I’m going to show them that Bellatrix Brown doesn’t need them. And that she doesn’t want them!”
“That’s my girl!” Jess screamed.
I grinned and pushed past the wasted teenagers, looking for Connor or Liam.
“James, where’s Connor?” I asked as I stood on my tippy toes looking for him.
“He went upstairs, but…”
I didn’t hear the rest because I automatically started walking upstairs. I took a long gulp from my red cup, building up my courage. After a couple of deep breaths, I opened the door to his bedroom, briskly stumbling in.
“I just wanted to tell you that I don’t need you, and I…” My throat tightened as I took in the sight before me. Connor and blondie, completely naked.
“You were saying?” Connor asked, his expression blank.
I felt weak. Then, I turned and quickly exited the room, walking downstairs and shoving past several people as I flung open the front door, nearly falling on my face as I stormed out.
“Bella?” I looked up through tear-filled eyes to find Liam standing a couple of feet away from me.
“Can you take me home?” I asked, a few tears slipping out.
He sighed, and motioned for me to follow him. Shivering from the cold October air, I did as he asked. Then, I was suddenly engulfed in warmth. I looked down in surprise as Liam had taken off his leather jacket and placed it around me while we walked.
“Why are you crying?” Liam asked once we were inside his car.
I numbly stared out the window, refusing to answer him.
Ten minutes later
“Good night.” Liam said blankly.
I looked up to see that we were now parked in front of my house. Unbuckling myself, I opened the door and hopped out.
“I don’t need you,” I said, turning to face him.
“What?”
“I don’t care that you don’t want me,” I stated, my temper slowly rising. “I don’t need you.” I turned quickly after that, only making it two steps before succumbing to the nausea and dizziness that overwhelmed me.
And yeah, I passed out.
Chapter 13
Ever woken up with a god-awful raging headache, and you were just like, ‘Oh motherfucker, what happened?’ Well, that was exactly how I woke up today, except that feeling soon changed into, ‘Where the hell am I?’ Then, I sat up quickly on the bed, causing my head to pound even more.
“You’re awake.”
I let out a yelp of surprise and fell off the bed with a loud thump, pain shooting through my backside. I sat upright, grasping my head as I felt a sharp pain ran through it.
“Here.”
A hand appeared in front of my face, causing me to jump a little and look up in confusion. After blinking rapidly at the blinding sunlight streaming through the window, I finally recognized who was standing in front of me.
“Jess?” I asked, completely at a loss as to what was going on.
She helped me up gently, at the same time pushing me back slightly so that I was reclining on the bed.
“How did I get here?” I asked, looking around at her completely pink room.
She watched me silently for a couple of moments before answering. “Liam dropped you off. He said he didn’t want your parents to get mad at you for being so wasted, so he brought you here. He looked really mad though.” Then, she stared at the ground, a guilty look shadowing her face. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
She bit her lip nervously and looked at me, guilt now completely dominating her expression.
“I’m the reason you got so wasted! I should have been a better friend. But clearly, I wasn’t!” she said, her voice no more than a whisper.
My eyes widened, and despite my protesting body, I stood up and placed my arms on her shoulders. “It’s not your fault.”
“Yes, it is,” she said with a sigh. “You don't need to lie.”
“Jess,” I snapped, causing her to look at me. “I drank because of jealousy. I saw Connor with another girl, and I just… I couldn’t handle it,” I whispered the last part, glancing away before looking back at her.
“I’m just glad you’re okay and that you remember everything,” she said, pulling me into a small hug.
I shoved her away quickly after a couple of seconds though and sprinted out into the hall in a frantic attempt to find the bathroom. After a good five minutes of dry heaving, I leaned back against the cool tiled wall and listened to the sound of the flushing toilet.
“Here, take these,” Jess said, handing me two Aspirin and a glass of water.
I took them gratefully, although I would have given anything to have s
ome of that weird drink my mum makes. Weird, yes, but it really does work.
“Jess,” I choked hoarsely, placing the empty glass to the side. “When I say I remember why I drank, I mean that’s all I can remember. After that, everything’s a blur.” I felt the slightest twinge of fear begin to fill me as I watched her face grow pale and a small groan emanate from her.
“Oh, no!” she said, sliding down the wall next to me.
“Oh God! What happened? I didn’t have sex, did I?” I asked, panicking.
“Bella, calm down,” she said, but her eyes were as wide as saucers. “It’s just… you were so out of it. Well… but then again, so was I.”
I stared at her as she spoke, sudden confusion taking over me.
“How come you’re not hungover?” I asked curiously.
“Bella, its three o’clock. I’ve already drank four cups of coffee and pretty much enough water to fill a lake.”
My heart nearly stopped beating when I realized what time it was.
“Oh, my God!” I gasped, reaching to grab my phone. Once again, my eyes bugged out. I swear, at this rate, my eyes are going to fall out of my head before long.
“Jess, where is my phone?” I asked, seeing that I was now wearing a t-shirt and pajama shorts over my underwear.
“You had them in your p——” Then, she turned to me with wide eyes.
“It’s at Connor’s house,” I said, confirming the answer to the question that I knew she was going to ask.
“Ok… this is fine,” she said as she stood up. “It’s not like anything happened between you two.”
I nodded numbly, and stood up. And wasting no time at all, we headed downstairs, Jess grabbing her car keys along the way.
“Jess?” I asked after we started driving.
“Yeah?”
“Did Liam look mad when he dropped me off?” That question had been burning in my mind since I woke up. But even after I tried to recall everything, I still couldn’t find the answer.
“I’m not sure…” she said, trailing off as she took a sharp left turn. “But he did seem to want to get rid of you as soon as possible.”
I groaned and lowered my head in my hands. What have I done to Liam now?
“Did you guys get into a fight?” she asked, glancing at me.
I didn’t know what to say so I just shrugged. To be honest, I had no idea what even happened. But slowly, I was remembering bits and pieces. Like the part where I was groped by a bunch of guys. Not exactly my proudest moment.
“Alright, do you want me to go with you?” Jess asked, stopping the car.
I paused, thinking over what she said.
“No, I’ll be fine,” I said as I took a deep breath and got out of the car. By now, my headache and nausea had mostly disappeared, making it easier to focus. Cellphone. That was all I wanted. My cellphone.
“I hope it worked, Connor.”
I stopped mid-stride, stunned to see some blonde girl walked out of his house. Connor was leaning casually on the doorway as I stared at the girl in confusion. She looked so familiar.
Wait! She’s that girl I saw kissing Connor that time I ditched school. Then, my blood ran cold as an unwanted memory rushed back. I walked in on her with Connor.
“Bella?”
I snapped out of my trance, looking up in embarrassment as I realized I had just been standing there. The blonde had some mischievous glint in her eye, but then she gave me a warm smile. Connor stared at me with a blank expression, standing only in his boxers. The sight made me sick to my stomach.
Connor fucked some girl last night. Well, I guess she’s not just some girl. They seem to have history together.
“I—I—I… my, er… my cellphone,” I ended up whispering.
The girl giggled a little, causing me to snap my head towards her direction. Her delicate hand entwined with Connor’s as she watched me with that same mischievous sparkle in her eyes. I frowned and dug my nails into my hand in an attempt to distract myself.
“I don’t know where it is,” Connor said dully. And as if I had already left, he turned to the other girl, whispering into her ear.
My jaw dropped as she looked at me from head to toe, giggling and nodding to whatever Connor said. I looked down at my t-shirt and fuzzy shorts, and the neon flip flops I was wearing.
Well, I probably looked like an idiot.
Feeling extremely self-conscious then, I put my arms around my body and bit my lip nervously. Connor pulled away from the girl, an irritated expression clouding his once happy face, when he realized I was still there.
“What could you possibly want now?” he hissed, his eyes dark and angry.
I shrank back a little at his tone, my stomach twisting in different directions.
“M-my phone,” I stuttered.
“H-her phone,” Blondie mimicked me, causing Connor to laugh and grin.
The sickening sensation in my stomach quickly disappeared, and pure anger and annoyance took over instead.
“Yes, you fucking bitch! I am here for my goddamn phone!” I snarled, shoving past them and through the open door. I couldn’t help but enjoy their shocked expressions at my sudden outburst. I did a quick double take when I saw how trashed his house was. Remembering what I needed, I headed out the back door. Welcomed by the cold gust of air, I shivered uncontrollably as I looked for my jeans.
“You can’t call me a fucking bitch!”
I turned around to see a now pissed blonde, Connor standing behind her. I scoffed and turned back to looking around. “Oh, really? Why not?” I asked, miraculously spotting my ripped jeans behind a bush at the back. As I reached it, I numbly grabbed my jeans.
“You’re just mad because you’re jealous.”
I completely froze. My heart stopped beating for a second and my mouth turned to cotton.
“Yeah, you’re jealous.” Amusement was lacing her tone.
I didn’t speak, and only shook my head in a desperate attempt to say no. With shaking fingers, I struggled to undo the zipper of the pants’ right front pocket.
Just get your phone and leave, I told myself as my heart beat rapidly.
“I’m not jealous,” I spat out as I gripped my jeans tightly in my hands and glared at her.
She stared at me, her expression blank.
Annoyed, I resumed struggling to get my phone out once again.
“Yes, you are,” she said.
That did it.
I snapped. Flinging my jeans onto the soft patch of grass next to me, I crossed my arms angrily and glared at her.
“I know when I’m jealous. And right now, I’m not,” I hissed, my eyes narrowing.
“Maybe so…” she said, trailing off thoughtfully. “But you’d be lying if you said you were never jealous like last night? That was…”
I held my breath, my nails cutting into my skin.
“Priceless,” she finished with a smirk, turning back to Connor and wrapping her arms around his neck.
The pain was excruciating.
Jealous? I really wasn’t.
Hurt? Yes, beyond repair.
Let’s face it, I let myself fall for Connor’s charm. And this pain? This hurt? It is just the price I had to pay for that mistake.
Completely ignoring the fact that I was leaving my jeans, I quickly walked back towards them, hesitating slightly before walking past them. Just before I reached the front door, I turned back. They were staring at me, unreadable expressions in both their faces.
“Why?” I asked, hating myself for how weak and dejected my voice sounded. For the third time, my nails dug into my palms as I waited for his answer.
Connor shrugged, and with a cold smirk, he spoke the five words that had been haunting me ever since you know who. “You’re just not good enough.”
Broken. I felt broken.
Suddenly, a sharp pain went through my hand, causing me to gasp. I lifted my hand just as the blood began dripping from the cuts.
“Oh my…”
I
looked up to see the now shocked expressions of Connor and the girl.
“I’m not good enough.” My voice cracked, tears that I had been fighting off were now cascading down my face. Without another word, I flung open the door, sprinting away. Ignoring Jess’ questioning yells, I ran blindly through the streets, not once stopping to look back.
Seeing an empty park, I collapsed onto the cold ground, curling into a ball and sobbing.
I hated myself. I hated the way I let Connor’s—well, Sam’s—words get to me. Then, looking at the blood on my palms, I realized something.
Maybe I deserved this.
Jessica
“What did you do to her?” I snarled, clenching my fists.
“I… I… Nothing!” Connor said, his eyes wide.
“Nothing?” I shrieked incredulously. I was breathing heavily after trying to chase after Bella, but had to give up and chose to find out what happened instead. “You honestly expect me to believe that?” I took a small step back as Connor’s eyes narrowed, and anger crept into his expression.
“What makes you think you can just yell at me like that?” he hissed, taking a menacing step forward.
I lost all previous confidence as I took another step back, Connor mirroring my movements. I looked at the girl for help, only to realize she wasn’t standing there anymore.
“Well?”
He was so close now, my heart was pounding with fear. I had forgotten how scary he really was—how intimidating he can be.
“You have no right to hurt my best friend,” I said in a mere whisper, feeling the pillar on his porch graze my back.
Connor scoffed, and looked away for a moment. When he looked back, well, let’s just say, he didn’t look too happy. Before I could stop myself, I took another step back, my rear against the pillar now. Connor took that to his advantage and leaned in, trapping me.
“So when she hurt me, it was okay?”
I gulped, and pressed myself further against the pillar.
“W-what are you t-t-talking about?” I stuttered, my heart racing.