You know how in those movies, fireworks go off and you can feel this almost visible electric vibe flow between the main characters’ bodies? Well, there was absolutely none of that with Liam and me. My heart didn’t even speed up. My body didn’t tingle. My hormones didn’t go on overdrive. It wasn’t the same as when I kissed Connor.
Connor.
I mentally slapped myself, feeling guilty for comparing Liam’s kiss to his. Liam was a gentleman, something Connor could never be. He was thoughtful, caring, funny, gentle, sweet… I could go on forever. On the other hand, Connor was a dick. And that was all there was to it.
So why? Why the hell was I more attracted to him than Liam?
“That was amazing,” Liam said breathlessly as he placed his forehead against mine, breaking me away from my thoughts.
“It was,” I said tightly, hoping he would buy it.
“Come on, let’s go have some fun,” he said, grabbing my hand.
I stared at our hands as we walked—our fingers weren’t entwined. Stupid, I know, but whenever two people really like each other, or are in a relationship, they usually entwine their fingers.
Like I said, it’s stupid, I know.
“Want me to win you a stuffed animal?” Liam asked, pulling me towards the games.
“Sure,” I said, blushing.
Liam grinned and handed the girl his money. Then he picked up the plastic gun and aimed at the small target.
But he missed… multiple times.
“It’s okay,” I said, patting his hand. “I don’t even want a stuffed animal.”
“No, I can do this,” Liam said, pulling out his wallet for what seemed to be the sixth time, at least.
I was about to drag him off when someone spoke.
“Can I try?”
My blood ran cold as he picked up the gun, hitting the center of the target effortlessly.
“Here you go,” he stated, a smug grin settling on his features.
I faked a smile as I took the giant teddy bear from his hands.
“Thanks, Jack,” I muttered. Holding tightly onto the bear, I watched as Liam put his wallet away, a tinge of hurt on his features. Giving Jack a warning look, I grasped Liam’s hand and pulled him away.
“What else do you want to do?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“I’m sorry.”
I stopped walking immediately. “What are you talking about?” I asked with a startled expression.
He sighed, gently pulling his hand from my grip and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “You must think I’m pathetic,” he said quietly, staring at the ground.
Frowning, I dropped the teddy bear, looped my arms around his neck, and forced him to look at me.
“Pathetic because you couldn’t get me a stupid bear?” I asked. “Truthfully, I’m happy you didn’t.”
A look of confusion crossed his face.
“Come on,” I said, smiling a bit. “I would be a little worried if you were that good with a gun.”
Liam let out a warm laugh, which made me smile.
“You’re the best,” he whispered, pulling me into a hug.
I stood on my tippy toes to place my chin on his shoulder. I wished I hadn’t. Because that’s when I saw what was happening right in front of me. Connor had some girl pressed against the side of a tent, looking like he was sucking the life out of her.
“You okay?” Liam asked, pulling away.
I swiped my hand nervously through my hair, slightly shaking.
“Fine,” I said, biting my lip awkwardly.
“What is…?” Liam began to ask, turning. He grew silent when he realized what I just saw—what I was staring at.
I held my breath as he turned back, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Look, Liam, it’s not what…”
“Connor needs to play it down. No one wants to see that.”
I froze as his words sunk in, realizing he had not been able to put two and two together.
“Oh… er… yeah! You’re right,” I said, shifting back and forth. “Let’s go find Jess!” Grabbing his hand, I led him blindly through the crowd.
“Slow down!” Liam said, grinning.
I laughed nervously, my heart still racing after what happened.
“I’m just…” I paused, pulling out my phone. “I’m just g-going to call Jess. Okay?” At that, I walked off without another word, stopping behind the back of a tent, which was isolated from the hundreds of people wandering around.
After a couple of rings, Jess finally picked up, shouting, which nearly caused me to go deaf. Hearing my voice, she immediately said she would meet me behind the tent. Her perceptive reply reminding me why I consider her my best friend.
A few minutes later
“Bella, is that you?”
I turned to see Jess, wearing a white dress with wings at her back and a halo on her head.
“I’m screwed,” I said, hugging her.
“What happened?” she asked as she pulled away.
I frowned and looked at the ground. As much as I wanted—needed—to tell her, I just didn’t know if I could. Truthfully, I was really only worried about her reaction. Would she be angry? Would she ignore me? Insult me, perhaps? Or worse, would she tell Liam?
“I… Well, it’s just…” I sighed, forcing myself to look into her eyes. “I kissed Connor.”
Silence.
“What?”
“I. Kissed. C——”
“No,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I heard you. But… why?”
Once I finished explaining all that had happened, Jess’ expression went blank. Completely blank.
“Are you mad?” I asked, crossing and uncrossing my legs, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
“Connor is a fucking asshole,” she muttered, seemingly more to herself rather than as a reply to my question.
“Tell me about it,” I said. “I mean, blackmail? Really?”
“That’s low,” she said, crossing her arms angrily. “Even for Connor.”
I nodded in agreement as I rubbed my hands on my jeans.
“Well, come on,” she said, grabbing my hand. “You should still get to enjoy tonight.”
Connor
“That was… interesting,” I said, pulling away from vacuum girl. She rapidly blinked her left eye in what seemed to be an attempt at being flirtatious. I opened my mouth as if to say something else, but thought better of it and just walked away. As I looked around, I heard the most beautiful, warm, and familiar laugh. Seeing Bella with Jess made my heart stop beating.
Pathetic. I know.
It was like for the first time, ever, I really liked a girl. I wanted to get to know her, to actually have some type of relationship with her.
Tearing my eyes away from her, I mentally kicked myself for fucking everything up. No matter how hard I tried, it just seemed like it was never going to work out. Why? Because I’m a man-whore. I admit it.
And I’m also dangerous. I could destroy Bella, and that was definitely something I didn’t plan on ever doing. Sure, I did some awful things to her. But I guess it was better this way. It was better that she doesn’t want me.
Even though I acted so confident that she wanted me, needed me even, it was as if deep down I knew she didn’t. Why would she? I was awful to her. And the more I tried to get her to like me, the more I seemed to end up pushing her away.
It was true though that I felt a connection when we kissed, something I never felt with anyone else. I guess it was just me though.
“Hey, man!”
I turned to see James and Matt who were both wearing matching elf outfits. They usually did.
“Have you seen Jess?” James asked. He looked around, bouncing a bit.
I looked at Matt who seemed to have caught on and was grinning crazily.
“Yeah,” I said pointing towards the direction where Jess and Bella had just walked off. “She’s with Bella.” I noticed both James and Matt hesitate
when they heard her name.
“It’s fine, guys. Come on, let’s go,” I said, heading in the direction where I last saw the girls.
But honestly, and as sad as it might sound, it really wasn’t fine.
Bella
I tensed as I saw the three figures approaching us. Oh God, please no, I thought to myself, wishing the ground would swallow them up.
“Hey, guys,” James said, sitting down at our table, his eyes trained on Jess.
I began to smile in that Oh-hey-my-friend’s-crush-is-talking-to-her way, looking at the two of them.
“Hey,” Jess said casually, continuing to eat her fries.
“So, uh… how’s your night going?” James tried again, glancing awkwardly at Matt and Connor.
“Good.”
“Okay, you’re done,” I said, grabbing her fries and tossing the rest in the trash.
Her jaw dropped open and she stared at the trashcan, almost as if she was willing them to come back to the table.
“What the hell, Bella?” she snapped, glaring at me.
I shrugged and stood up, looking at Matt and Connor, and motioning them to do the same.
“You two should talk.” With that, I grabbed the other two, leading them away from the semi-furious Jess and the happy James.
“Hey, I still want to play games,” Matt whined, the bell on the top of his hat jingling.
“Sure you do,” I said with a sigh.
After playing a bunch of carnival games, Connor decided it was time to go into the haunted house, which, in all honesty, completely freaked me out. What was worse? Matt refused to go inside—something about past experiences—and let me go in alone with Connor.
Connor!
The inside of the house was really dark, but there were small lamps at every corner—the only things we could depend on to be able to move around. I managed to stifle a scream when the first three guys popped out. But after a while, I was beginning to crack.
“Ah!” I shrieked as a limp body fell to the ground.
Connor’s laugh caused me to whirl around, straight into his chest.
“Shut up,” I mumbled as I backed away. Then, I jumped a little when I felt his arm slide over my shoulders, pulling me to his side. We continued to walk like this until a shrieking boy ran between us, separating us.
“Connor?” I called, feeling around blindly. My heart began racing when there was no response.
“Connor!” I said a little louder.
“Bella, where are…?”
Then my scream was muffled by a large hand, and I was dragged backwards into what seemed to be a small room. Panic filled my shaking body as I fought my attacker. He kicked me in the stomach as I struggled to get up.
“Bella? Bella!”
I could hear Connor at the other side of the door, pounding his fists against it.
“I’ve waited too long.” The voice was deep and husky. It was familiar, but it was almost as if the person had altered it slightly so that I wouldn’t recognize it.
I felt a cold hand slide into my shirt, trailing up to my bra.
The next thing I knew, a loud bang went through the room. My attacker was pulled away and roughly shoved to the ground, where he was kicked in the stomach by Connor.
“I’ve got you,” Connor whispered, his hands landing on my waist as he lifted me into his arms, carrying me out of the house.
By that time, I was sobbing. Tears were streaming down my face as Connor whispered things in my ear. He brought me to a bench, gently setting me down in his lap as he sat down.
“Bella, calm down,” Connor whispered, brushing away my tears.
I hiccupped as I continued to cry, clutching onto Connor tightly, refusing to let go. I sobbed for at least ten minutes before I was able to calm down, and I rested my face in the crook of his neck.
“Do you want me to go back…?”
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered, pulling away slightly so that I could look into his eyes.
Connor didn’t even hesitate when he replied, “I won’t go anywhere.”
Now I really, really, shouldn’t have done it. But I did.
I kissed him.
No, Connor wasn’t the one who kissed me.
I kissed him.
That blissful moment, when you feel the rush going through you, the emotions, the electricity—everything. You just couldn’t forget it.
It was such a perfect moment. A moment that couldn’t be ruined, until…
“Bella?”
Oh, hey, Liam!
I pulled back, hastily standing up and stepping away from Connor.
“I… Liam, it’s… well, I…”
“I kissed your girlfriend,” Connor said, facing Liam.
Silence. Liam just stared at the two of us, letting a few moments by before he simply nodded his head.
“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go onto the Ferris wheel but…”
“Yes,” I said a little breathlessly, grabbing hold of his hand.
When we got to the Ferris wheel, the line was empty and so Liam quickly sat down. But then, when the ride started, I noticed Connor walking towards us, a determined expression on his face.
“So are we a couple?” Liam asked, making me look at him. Awkward, I know. He wasn’t even sitting next to me.
“Are we?” I responded dumbly.
Sounds of yelling could be heard from the ground, and Liam and I both looked over the edge to see Connor climbing his way to us.
Yes. Climbing!
“Connor, what the hell?!” I shrieked.
Connor managed to swing himself onto our cart, taking a seat next to a completely confused and shocked Liam.
“Bella kissed me,” he said, his eyes fixated on me. “And we have hooked up. Recently,” he added as something unreadable flashed through his eyes.
“Bella, is that true?” Liam asked, his voice slightly hurt.
I gripped the sides of the cart as it wobbled on its way up.
“Look, Liam…”
“Is it true?” His voice came out cold and harsh, his eyes flashing a bit.
“Yes,” I whispered, looking at my hands.
“You can’t do this, Bella,” he said, leaning forward slightly.
“He’s right,” Connor agreed, resting against the seat. “You need to choose. Me or Liam?”
My jaw dropped slightly, and I made a sputtering noise. “What? Wait, no, no. I… please, just…”
“Make a choice,” Connor’s voice was demanding, causing me to shrink back slightly.
And that was how I, Bella Brown, ended up getting stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel, and about to make one of the most important decisions of my teenage life.
“You need to make a choice,” Connor said.
“I… I can’t,” I whispered.
“You have to now,” Liam seriously said.
Despite the fear gnawing at my insides, I knew then that there was no escape for me. So at that moment, I looked up into their eyes, studying both their faces. At that moment, every second that I spent with the two flashed through my mind.
At that moment, I made my decision.
Chapter 17
I took a step closer and wrapped my arms around him, knowing that I made the right choice. Pulling away slightly, I looked into his eyes, seeing the anger, pain, and hurt in them.
“So that’s it?” he spat out.
I bit my lip and looked down, nodding my head. I stumbled backwards as he roughly shoved me away. Predictably, there was some hint of anger in his eyes, and I backed away, my mouth slightly opened.
“Don’t you dare touch her!”
I was gently pulled backwards as Connor came between Liam and me. My eyes widened as I looked between the two, knowing deep down that a fight was on the verge of breaking out.
“Get out of my way, you fucking son of a bitch,” Liam spat out.
My heart was pounding as the two squared off.
“She chose me. Grow a pair and walk away,” Connor
countered.
I knew I had to step in, but it was like I just couldn’t move or even dare to speak. Everything was happening so fast, my mind was unable to immediately grasp what was going on. That is, until Liam punched Connor straight in the face.
“Liam, no!” I shrieked, throwing my hands out in horror.
Connor stumbled a bit but was able to steady himself before he was about to throw a counterpunch. I quickly grabbed Connor’s arm, causing him to freeze and look back at me in confusion. Unfortunately, Liam took that as another opportunity to hit Connor. I let out a yelp as I was thrown backwards onto the hard ground, and Connor lunged at Liam.
But the thing was, Liam really had no chance. Punching Connor, that was his biggest mistake. Doing it again, that sealed his fate. I struggled to sit up, a sharp pain going through my side.
“Stop it!” I screamed, standing up as Connor landed another punch directly on Liam’s face. Suddenly, I was pulled back just as Matt ran past me and yanked Connor off of a bloody Liam.
I struggled to break free from the strong arms I was trapped in. “James, let go!” I hissed as Liam stood up, spitting out blood and staggering towards Matt and Connor.
“What the hell…?” Jess appeared by my side, breathless and completely confused.
I pulled away, making my way towards the three.
“Liam! Stop it!” I said, stepping in front of him.
He opened his mouth, ready to respond. Something flashed in his eyes, but he closed his mouth and backed away.
“You’ve made a horrible…,” he spat out, “horrible, mistake.” He turned around and walked away.
“Liam, you don’t understand,” I said, grabbing his hand.
He roughly yanked his arm away from me and faced me.
“I understand,” he hissed. “I understand that you would rather be with that piece of shit than someone who actually cares about you.”
With that, he walked off.
I sighed and winced as a sharp pain shot through my side again. Ignoring it, I turned to face Matt, Connor, James, and Jess.
“Sooo, you chose Connor?” Jess said slowly, looking between us.