I looked at him. His hair was slightly messed up, and there was a bruise starting to appear around his right eye. I bit my lip and walked towards him, my eyes focused on the small cut on his bottom lip. I lifted a trembling hand and placed it on the side of his face, my thumb lightly tracing the cut. Quickly glancing at Jess, I smiled and nodded.
“I chose Connor.”
Flashback
“So?” Connor asked softly, leaning back on the seat.
I looked straight at Liam, guilt threatening to overwhelm me.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, then looked back at Connor.
Connor’s expression fell, and then hardened. Meanwhile, Liam’s eyes lit up and a smug smile appeared on his face.
He didn’t get it.
I bit my lip and glanced between the two. “No, guys. You don’t understand,” I corrected.
They both stared at me, looks of confusion clouding their expressions.
“Bella, what are you talking about?” Liam asked, taking my hands in his.
I sucked in a big breath and exhaled slowly.
“I didn’t choose you.” My voice was barely audible, and I felt a stabbing pain in my heart as Liam dropped my hands and sat back.
So many emotions crossed Liam’s face—hurt, anger, disgust, and lastly, silent contempt.
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes then, and I felt my lips quiver. Turning away from him, my eyes caught Connor's. Instead of seeing his famous smirk—which was what I expected, I saw something endearingly unrecognizable.
Suddenly, the cart jerked forward, and the descent continued.
It was time to move on with our lives.
Tuesday
Liam wasn’t at school.
Wednesday
Liam wasn’t at school
Thursday
Liam still wasn’t at school.
Even after twenty ignored calls, forty-three ignored text messages, and two ignored visits in total.
Why did I even care?
Ever since the carnival, guilt had been eating away at me. Flashes of Liam’s broken expression were haunting me—reminding me of the pain I had put him through by choosing Connor.
Connor.
You know all that guilt that was consuming me? That was nothing, nothing compared to what I felt when I was with Connor. He pissed me off, he made fun of me, and he hurt me.
Now, why did I pick Connor? No, seriously. Why?
Liam was the one who comforted me. He was the one who opened up to me. He was the perfect guy—the one you could easily love forever.
But that was the problem. I didn’t love him.
No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t love the stereotypical prince charming. I was in love with the possessive, sex-crazy asshole Connor, the guy who drove me insane. I couldn’t get him off my mind, which I guess was the main reason I chose him.
Besides, why be with someone when you’re thinking about someone else?
I let out a small groan as I felt a painful twinge again. A large bruise was actually visible on my side where I was hit when I fell, but I was used to bruises. The only problem was the swelling and the amount of pain.
“You okay?” Jess asked as we walked out of the classroom.
I took a couple of short, relaxing breaths, and nodded my head. I noticed her grin as she bumped her hip slightly against mine.
“That hickey really makes your eyes pop,” she said.
I stopped walking and glared at her, letting my fingers brush over my neck.
“Damn that bastard to hell,” I muttered, and continued to walk back to my locker.
Jess just laughed as we grabbed our books.
“Oh hey, Jess! How’s Ja——” I let out a small squeak as I was pressed onto my locker, which made me drop my books. The body pressed onto me more, telling me exactly who it was.
“Connor, get off of me!” I snapped, trying to push myself off of the locker. I felt his chest vibrate as he laughed.
“You might not want to keep shoving your body onto mine then,” he murmured into my ear. “Or else I might just have to take you right here, right now.”
I let out a small gasp and I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. “C-Connor, g-g-get off of m-me,” I stuttered, my voice quiet and barely there. I let out a sigh of relief as the pressure was taken away, and I was able to turn around.
Only to have my back pushed against the lockers, with Connor’s hands on either side of my face. My heart skipped a beat and I let out a shaky breath, keeping my eyes on the ground.
“Look at me,” he commanded softly.
I felt my blush worsen and I continued to stare at the ground.
“Look at me, Bells.” His voice was firmer this time, and he leaned in closer.
I could feel his hot breath fanning my face, causing me to shiver and bite my lip slightly. My mouth parted as he grasped my chin, forcing me to look up at him.
“What?” I snapped. My voice came out irritated and cranky.
Connor dropped his hand, and he took a step back.
“I just wanted to say,” he took a deep breath and continued, “I am really happy you picked me.” Then he gave me a soft smile, turned, and walked to his locker, leaving me stunned.
I closed my mouth and glanced at Jess, who was giving me the look—the one that says you-better-apologize-or-else.
I quickly got my act together and walked straight to him, ignoring all the whispers and stares from the rest of the people in the hallway. Without wasting a second, I pulled his arm so that he turned around. And at that moment, I smashed my lips to his. Cheers and applause rang throughout the hallway, and I felt Connor grin.
This was the guy I loved.
This was perfection.
After school, I was going to try again.
I was going to try to see Liam.
Although the whole “picking Connor” situation didn’t go too well, I still wanted us to be friends. When I told Jess about it, though, she told me to let it go, that I would only be making matters worse by “friend-zoning” Liam.
Have you ever had a friend that you just couldn’t imagine losing?
Other than Jess, for me, it was Liam.
I couldn’t bear to lose a friend like Liam. And no matter what, I wasn’t going to.
“Where are you going?” Connor asked as I made my way to the exit with Jess.
I looked at him quickly before speaking.
“Home,” I said quickly.
He raised an eyebrow suspiciously and looked at Jess in question.
“It’s true!” she said, laughing nervously at the end.
I inwardly groaned and shifted my bag, glancing at the door.
“Listen, I have to go home. But maybe we can hang out later?” I offered, hoping he would accept it.
“Fine,” he said after a few of moments of silence. He swooped down to give me a small kiss, before stepping to the side.
I blushed a little and grabbed Jess’ hand, leading her to the exit. Once in the car, I let out a breath that I didn’t notice I was holding.
“Why did you lie to Connor? Haven’t you been telling him that you’ve been trying to talk to Liam?” Jess asked as she put on her seatbelt.
I frowned and started the car, pulling out of the school parking lot.
“I… I don’t know,” I said truthfully, driving slowly down the street. “I just don’t think Connor will approve.”
“So why are you doing it?” she asked.
This whole week, Jess has been questioning my decision to see Liam. It was annoying, like she just couldn’t see things through my perspective.
“I’m not losing a friend,” I said, pulling onto Liam’s street. My heart was pounding in my chest and my hands grew clammy.
“Is that…?”
“What’s Anna’s car doing here?” I asked, as I was parking mine. Jess frowned, an unreadable look crossed her face. We both gasped as the door flew open, and a distressed Anna walked out. Ducking down, we made s
ure she couldn’t see us as she got in her car and drove off. When she was gone, Jess and I slowly sat up and looked at each other.
What the hell was that about?
“Are they sleeping together?” I spat out, glaring out the window of my car. I could tell Jess was worried about me—well, more about my reaction to what we had just witnessed. But I mean seriously, what was that?
“I don’t think Anna would do that…”
“Then, what was she doing?” I cried out as I roughly slammed the brakes, causing Jess to lurch forward.
“Maybe she was dropping off his homework?” It came out like a question, which meant even Jess doubted that.
“Oh yeah, definitely,” I drawled out sarcastically. My hands were shaking and I was taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down. In all honesty, I probably looked like a crazy gorilla on the verge of a killing spree. So I decided to postpone the talk with Liam, and headed to Connor’s place.
Just as I parked the car in front of Connor’s house, Jess asked something.
“Why do you care?”
I froze up, not expecting that question. I kept my eyes forward as I searched through my mind for an explanation.
“I… I don’t.” Yeah, that was the best I could think of.
Jess let out an annoyed sound, causing me to look over at her in confusion.
“Do you love Liam?”
I was taken aback and my hands began to grow clammy again, my stomach twisting in knots.
“Wha—— no! Not like that! I love him like a brother.”
“But you love Connor?”
I hesitated, and my voice seemed to suddenly disappear.
“Bella, do you love Connor?” Jess asked persistently.
“Yes,” I replied, my voice was shaky, breathless, and barely audible, yet the answer was clear. I loved Connor.
Jess paused, her mouth forming a thin line across her face. She seemed to be thinking over what I had said, probably plotting her next question.
“But you want to be friends with Liam?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice was firmer this time, and I was ready for whatever else she might throw at me.
“Why?” was her next question.
Okay, I guess I take that back. I looked around, unsure of what to say.
“He… Well, I… It’s just, he is a good person,” I stammered, my face becoming a deep shade of red.
“There are a lot of good people in the world. Are you going to go out of your way every day to try to be their friend?”
I opened my mouth slightly, my head aching from the interrogation.
“Jess, I just… You need to understand that…” I paused, looking at my hands. “Why don’t you want me to be friends with him?” I curiously asked her.
Jess stared at me for a while before speaking. “I don’t have a problem with you being friends with Liam.”
“So why? Why the interrogation?” I asked, my voice rising.
“Because I don’t think you made the right choice! I love the fact you’re with Connor and all. But really, would you have tried to visit him every day after school if what happened were reversed? Would you feel the same way? Would you also feel that you couldn’t afford to lose him? From where I stand, you seem to have made your choice according to what everyone else wanted for you, not according to what you wanted. But then I could be wrong. So tell me, Bella, who do you really want?”
My eyes flickered towards Connor’s house just as the door opened, revealing a very happy Connor. I sighed and looked at Jess.
“I don’t want to lose Liam. I want to stay friends with him… to talk for hours on end… to depend on him. I want to be able to look at him and not think of the pain I put him through, but rather of how happy he is and how happy he can be, even if I didn’t pick him. But despite what you think, Connor is my choice. I want that psychotic, sex-crazy maniac more than anyone else in the world. I don’t think I made the wrong choice. So yes, I know who I want. And although it wasn’t easy, I picked him. But I would have preferred to have made it easier on Liam. If I could’ve made it easier on him, I would’ve. And if the roles were reversed, I would still try to keep Connor as a friend. Honestly, I want them both in my life. But as it happens, there’s really only one I couldn’t do without—and that’s Connor.”
After I finished talking, I then took a deep breath and got out of the car, walking towards Connor and feeling the butterflies invading my stomach as I zoned out everything else. The second I was in front of him, I immediately looped my arms around his neck.
“I need you,” I whispered.
Confusion clouded his expression, but it was all erased the second our lips touched. Electricity coursed through our bodies, and my heart felt like it was about to explode. When he pulled away, he placed his hand on my cheek, tracing circles with his thumb. We were breathing heavily, our foreheads touching. The moment was so perfect, like a scene from a movie, or perhaps a dream.
“You guys are going to have intense sex. I can tell.”
Our heads turned quickly to see Matt standing by the doorway, a huge grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Jess, who was now only a couple of feet away. With a look of approval on her face, she gave me a small nod. I smiled and grabbed Connor’s hand, lacing my fingers with his.
“I like the moment and all,” he said, “but my ass is about to freeze off. And I know how much you love it, so let’s go inside.”
I laughed along with Jess and walked in, my cheeks blushing.
“Hey, Jess!”
I looked to see James at the top of the staircase, his eyes fixed on Jess. She smiled and blushed slightly, which made Matt and I coo and giggle. Laughing at their annoyed glares, I looked at Connor and caught him staring at me, his eyes twinkling.
“Take that! And that!” Matt cried out as he threw multiple pillows at me, running away and screaming like a six-year-old.
I let out a snarl, grabbed all the pillows I could, and chased him like a mad man. Then, I charged upstairs after Matt as he skipped every other stair in an attempt to lose me.
“I will kill you!” I screamed as he slammed the door, locking himself in his room. Suddenly, a large thump came from my left and I turned to see James pinned down by Jess, who hit him repeatedly on the head with a pillow.
“Suffer, motherfucka!” she cried out as he swatted helplessly at the pillow.
I burst out laughing and had to lean against the door to support myself. But just as I was about to stand up, a pillow smacked the side of my head.
“Oopsies!” Connor said, standing at the top of the staircase.
I narrowed my eyes at him and picked up the pillow slowly, squeezing it tightly.
“You are a dead man,” I hissed. I sprinted towards him, not once faltering as he fled down the stairs. I picked up speed as he ran to the living room, hiding behind a couch. I glared from the other side, knowing that the only way to get him was to dive across the couch—which was exactly what I did.
Lunging at him, I caught him by surprise, and was able to tackle him to the ground. After hitting him multiple times, he gave up and held up his hands in surrender.
“No!” Matt and James cried out as I stood up, cheering victoriously.
“Suck it!” I said, grinning down at him. My smirk slipped when he returned it. And the next thing I knew, I was lying underneath him, and he was straddling me.
“I have something for you to suck,” he said, his voice dark and husky.
I bit my lip and groaned slightly, trying not to drown in his mesmerizing eyes.
“Shut up,” I finally said, my voice shaky.
He grinned down at me and gave me a short kiss before standing up.
“Aren’t you going to help me up?” I asked, sitting up slightly with my hand held out.
He took one glance, laughed, and turned away.
I gasped and smacked his leg, which only made him laugh harder. But then I squealed as he suddenly turned back and swooped me
up into his arms, holding me close to his body. I finally gave in and inched my face to his, wanting to have his lips back against mine.
Just as our lips were about to touch, he spoke, “I think you want to go swimming.”
My jaw dropped and I felt my eyes nearly pop out of my head. “Don’t you dare!” I hissed out.
He grinned and began walking towards the back exit, causing me to go on a rant about how I was going to leave him if he threw me in.
I heard Matt, James, and Jess cheer him on. And I gave them all the finger, which only led to more cheers and laughter.
“Connor, don’t,” I shrieked as he held me above the water. Thinking that I had no options left, and despite wincing at the thought, I closed my eyes and prepared myself to be engulfed by the freezing water.
“For Narnia!” Matt suddenly screamed.
My eyes flew open just as Matt pushed Connor, sending us both into the incredibly freezing water.
“Matt, I am going to castrate you!” I screamed, my voice going coarse near the end. I was fuming as I got ready to get out. But just before I could, Connor got out and lifted Matt over his head, throwing him effortlessly into the water. My jaw dropped open as I watched Matt resurface, a frown replacing his grin.
“Not so funny anymore, is it?” I asked, my teeth chattering slightly as I finally pulled myself out, a victorious grin on my face. But then, I turned to see Jess and James still laughing. When I glanced at Connor, he gestured at me with a nod and then we looked back at the two.
And that was the start of our water war.
“I’m dying!” I said as I sneezed again. I glared at everyone else as laughter rang out. I sat huddled into a small ball on the couch, with three blankets wrapped around me. Even after an extremely long and hot shower, my nose was still stuffy and I was still freezing.
“You look adorable,” Connor said in a girly voice, poking the top of my nose.
I glared at him and tightened the blankets around me in an attempt to stay warm.