His mind drifted from Janey to Matt, and he wondered what had gone wrong that day. The findings of the investigation had been inconclusive as to why the fire had started, only that it had begun in the engine room and moved rapidly to consume the whole boat.
Shaking his head to clear the memories of that horrible day, he gazed out across the Puget Sound, the water, wind, and waves creating one of the most beautiful scenes in the world.
By the time he navigated to the beach house his brother had rented for the weekend, his stomach reminded him that he was going to grab breakfast on the way out of town and hadn’t. Drew was always going on and on about the breakfast burritos at Duality. Adam was no stranger to the gas station-slash-eatery, and he stopped by the joint more often than he wanted to admit.
Drew opened the front door of the beach house as Adam straightened from the cruiser, a smile already on his face. “You made it.”
“Pretty drive,” Adam said. “Am I okay to park here?”
“Yeah, sure. Janey’s coming with Gretchen and Dixie. Mom and Joel won’t be here until later.”
“Oh?” Adam strode toward his brother. “She didn’t say they would be coming late.” He climbed the stairs and embraced Drew. “How are you doing? Ready to get married?”
Drew chuckled and pounded Adam on the back. “Just about.” They stepped back and Drew continued with, “Joel said he had to stay and take care of the animals this afternoon before they could leave. Then Dwayne Harper is going to come over on Saturday and Sunday.”
Dwayne owned a small apple orchard several miles down the road from Adam’s mother and step-father. They’d been helping each other for as long as Adam could remember. “So this is the place, huh?” He ducked through the doorway and looked around the bright, airy house. Light flowed from front to back and the entire wall before him faced the beach and was made of glass.
“Wow.” Adam moved toward it, the idea to move to Double Bluff Beach invading his mind. Surely the small towns around here needed police officers, right? A deck extended beyond the house, with steps that led right down to the sandy beach. The wind whipped the waves against the shore, and Adam admired the bay beyond that.
He’d walked through a spacious living room, with a dining area on his right and the kitchen on the left.
“Two bedrooms on the main level,” he said. “Four upstairs. You can have one to yourself.” Drew gestured for Adam to follow him. “Main bath here.” He pointed to the first door on his left. “I think this room would work for Mom and Joel.”
Adam peeked into the room, and it was well-furnished and seemed fresh and clean. “This is a nice place. Where did you find it?”
“Just on Your Home,” Drew said. “There’s a bedroom here with bunk beds. We’ll probably put the kids here.”
Drew took the tour upstairs, where he thought Adam and Janey, as well as he and Gretchen would each have their own room. One pair of bedrooms was hooked together by a Jack-and-Jill bathroom, and it had the largest counter.
“Women in there,” Adam said.
“Probably.” Drew stepped to the last door on the right side. “I was thinking this would be your room.”
It was square, a box, with a queen bed opposite of the window. He moved toward the glass and said, “Beach view. Sold.”
Drew laughed and said, “So you decided not to bring the dogs? You know this is a leash-free beach.”
“Did you bring yours?”
“Of course. You didn’t hear Blue whining when we passed my bedroom?” Drew stepped back out into the hall and opened the door next to Adam’s. Blue, his over-eager German shepherd burst from the room like a jack-in-the-box, his whole body wagging as he flew toward Adam.
Adam loved Drew’s dogs, and he crouched down to let Blue and then Chief lick his face, laughing as he scrubbed their necks and ears. “Did he trap you in that bedroom? Did he?”
“Should’ve brought Fable and Gypsy.”
“Oh, can you imagine?” Adam straightened and chuckled. “Four huge dogs up here. It would’ve been chaos.” He started for the steps. “I’m starving. Anything to eat here?”
Drew followed him back downstairs and into the kitchen. “Eggs and bread.”
“Done.” Adam set about cracking eggs to make a sandwich while Drew sat at the counter and cocked his head. He dropped two slices of bread into the toaster and set it. “What? You want one?”
“You seem...overly chipper.”
Adam turned his back on his brother and opened a cupboard to find a pan, trying to find the right thing to say. “I’m on vacation. I never go on vacation.”
“Yeah, that’s true...but that’s not it.”
Adam set the frying pan on the stove and opened the fridge, muttering, “Butter, butter.”
“In the door.”
He found the fat and worked to put a bit in the pan to melt.
“Have you got a new case at work?”
“What? N—Yes. New case at work.” If that would get Drew off this topic of conversation, Adam could stand to tell the little white lie. Besides, he thought about Janey a lot at work. Had solved a whole Rubix cube while his mind sorted through what to do about her, what to say to her, what move to make next.
He poured the eggs into the pan and they sizzled. Drew let him cook in peace, and Adam said, “How’s the lavender growing?” His brother had recently quit his job as a paramedic and renovated the house next door to their mom and step-dad.
“Growing great,” he said.
“Do you miss the bus?”
“Every day.”
Adam turned back to his brother, though he really shouldn’t take his eyes off the eggs for too long. “Yeah? And that’s okay?”
“It’s okay, yeah.” Drew shrugged and pointed to the pan. “Moving out there and taking over that farm was the right thing to do.”
Adam grunted and pushed his eggs into a square the size of a piece of bread. The toast popped up and he slathered butter on it, then slid the egg patty onto the bread. He ignored the begging German shepherds and sat down next to his brother with a sigh. “I love eggs.”
“That you do.” Drew nudged him with his elbow while he ate.
“When is Gretchen getting here?” Adam asked, careful not to say Janey’s name. He’d never told anyone—not even Drew—about his insane crush on Janey, but he didn’t trust himself not to say much about her now that they’d been out a few times.
It was easier before, when Adam knew he didn’t have a chance with her. But now that there was some hope, now that he’d held her hand, he couldn’t imagine being able to say her name without using a softer voice than he normally did.
“Should be soon.” Drew lifted his phone and looked at it. “They left two hours ago.”
Adam ate his sandwich and had just gotten up to put the plate in the dishwasher when a horn honked outside. Drew whooped and headed for the front door, but Adam couldn’t seem to make his feet move out of the kitchen.
He heard Gretchen squeal and giggle and a few moments later, she ushered her blonde daughter through the door, saying, “You two are sharing the room with the bunk beds. Go find it.”
Dixie skipped toward him, saying, “Hiya, Chief,” before turning and disappearing down the hall.
Jess came in wearing headphones and a backpack and a look that said he wasn’t ultra-pleased to be here without Thayne. He met Adam’s eye and pulled out one earbud. “Where are you sleeping?”
“Bedroom upstairs.”
The boy came closer, and it took all of Adam’s concentration to maintain eye contact with Jess instead of searching the doorway for his mom. “Don’t you think I’m a little old to be sharing a room with a girl?”
“I—I don’t—”
“We’re not cousins or anything.” Jess huffed and twisted back toward the front door, where Gretchen and Drew spoke to each other with stars in their eyes and whispers in their voices.
“You like Dixie.”
“I do not,” Jess said, spinnin
g back to Adam, who definitely saw and heard something too vehement in the boy’s statement. He cocked his head, trying to figure out what he’d said wrong to elicit such a reaction from Jess.
“Maybe I can sleep with you.” Jess looked at him with hopeful eyes. “I’ll sleep on the floor or whatever.”
Adam had no idea what to say to him. And then Janey appeared in the doorway, and Adam forgot about Jess’s dilemma. He only had eyes for her, and everything inside him urged him to cross the room and take her in his arms the way a boyfriend would.
He held perfectly still instead. Her eyes met his too, and an zip of electricity shot between them. Surely everyone in the room had felt it, but Jess didn’t even turn toward his mom.
Gretchen, however, had noticed that both Janey and Adam had frozen and couldn’t seem to look away from each other. She nudged Drew, which set Adam into action.
“Come on,” he said to Jess. “Let’s go check out the bunk beds and see what the real deal is.” He put his arm around Jess’s shoulders and steered him down the hall, the energy between him and Janey still crackling like lightning.
Chapter Eleven
Janey refused to let herself clear her throat until she’d towed her suitcase upstairs and into the bedroom Drew had detailed. First door on the left. Once behind it, she pressed her back into the wood and exhaled.
It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since she’d seen Adam, and still the sight of him had rendered her weak. Breathless.
“Brainless,” she muttered. “Pull yourself together.” She didn’t want to distract from Gretchen’s planning weekend. The woman had sent a five-page itinerary, for crying out loud. And Adam’s parents were here, and her son, and she couldn’t go freezing and staring like that again.
She left her suitcase by the dresser and went into the bathroom. Staring at her reflection, she found a flush in her cheeks. A flush! Maybe she could pass it off as excitement to be at the beach, one of her favorite locations in the whole world.
“Mom!” Jess’s voice came through the door, and Janey sighed as she went to see what he wanted. She already knew, but she needed to take care of this issue before he hurt Dixie’s feelings. Or Gretchen’s.
“Get in here,” she hissed at him, and Jess ducked into her bedroom. She cast a furtive glance left and right like she couldn’t be seen talking to her own child.
“Mom, I can’t sleep in the same room as Dixie.” He looked seriously upset about it, not just surly as he had been for the entire drive here. Even when she’d white-knuckled the railing on the ferry for forty-five straight minutes, he’d still sent her dirty looks about the sleeping situation.
She sighed and cocked her hip. “Why not, Jess? You guys get along great. She’ll change in the bathroom.”
He shuffled his feet, his face turning red. Janey hadn’t seen Jess blush about anything since he’d won the spelling bee in fifth grade and the whole school had stood and cheered for him.
Two sharp knocks sounded on her bedroom door, and then Adam poked his head in. “He can sleep in my bedroom.”
Janey nearly got whiplash as she looked back to Jess, and then back to Adam. Then Jess. “You talked to him about this?”
“I can’t sleep in there,” Jess said.
Adam cleared his throat. “Let him sleep with me, Janey. He has a good reason.”
“Oh?” She folded her arms. “And what is it?” She glared at Jess. “Hmm?”
He looked at Adam, his puppy dog pleading eyes alerting Janey to a real crisis here. “Adam?”
“You might as well tell her,” he said.
“Yeah,” Janey said quickly. “Moms find out everything anyway.”
“It’s nothing,” Jess said. “I just....” He lifted his chin and looked at Janey. “Please, Mom.”
She warred with herself, and having Adam standing so close and smelling so good, she could barely think. “Fine,” she said.
“Thanks, Mom!” Jess launched himself at her and wrapped his arms around her. The hug only lasted for a moment, which was more than she’d gotten from him since he’d started seventh grade, and then he stepped over to Adam. “Thanks, Chief.” He fist-bumped Adam and walked out of the room. “I’m just gonna go grab my suitcase.”
Janey waited until Jess’s pounding footsteps faded, and then she trained her eyes on Adam. “So what’s his reason.”
“Oh, I can’t say.” He held up both hands in surrender and fell back a step into the hall. “He made me promise, and the Chief doesn’t break his promises.” He flashed her a smile that made her heart thump around like a lopsided bowling ball rolling down the lane, and followed Jess down the stairs.
“Well, at least they get along,” she muttered to herself.
An hour later, she sat on the back deck with a glass of peach lemonade in her hand, her sunglasses shading her eyes, and happiness spreading through her at the tranquil sight before her. Jess had changed into a pair of board shorts and followed Dixie down to the beach despite the wind coming off the bay.
Gretchen and Drew had disappeared into town to buy groceries, though Adam claimed the fridge was full of food, and Joel and Donna hadn’t arrived yet.
Which was why she had one hand wrapped around the cold glass and the other laced in Adam’s. “This place is really nice,” she said for probably the third time.
Adam reclined in his lounger, his eyes closed. “Hm mm.” He wasn’t asleep, because his grip on her hand stayed firm, but she still stole a few seconds to simply stare at his handsome face.
A smile touched her lips, and she faced the waves again. “So do you like the beach?” she asked.
“I like running on the beach.”
“So you won’t go in the water?”
“It’s September. That water is freezing.”
“Dixie and Jess are in it.”
He chuckled and squeezed her fingers. “It’s on the itinerary, so I’m sure I’ll do it.”
One of Drew’s dogs barked, and Janey’s attention flew to the dog, anticipating a problem. But Blue was just chasing a bird, sand kicking up behind his paws as he galloped along the shore.
“Do you ever wish you could go back in time and change something?”
Adam opened his eyes and looked at her. He didn’t seem like he found the question weird or comical. “Yes.”
“What would it be?” She laid her head against the back of the chair and gazed at him, the moment between them soft now that they were alone.
“I don’t...know.”
“You’re not a great liar, Chief.” She giggled, as he’d tried to tell her he didn’t know the answer to why he hadn’t gotten married yet. Maybe he’d tell her now.
“I’d go back and tell my dad thank you before he died,” she said.
“Oh yeah? You wouldn’t keep Matt home on the day of the ferry fire?”
Janey normally would’ve flinched at the sound of his name, that single syllable the cause of so much turmoil in her life. But this time, she didn’t. Her heart didn’t clench, and her stomach stayed steady.
“No,” she said. “Some things are just meant to be, you know?”
“I guess,” he said.
“So I’d tell my dad thank you. He put up with a lot with us four girls, and I never really got to tell him how much I appreciated him.” She smiled, but it did carry a hint of sadness. She cleared her throat and asked, “So what about you?”
“I’d, well, I’d—oh, wow. I don’t know if I can say this out loud.” He pulled his hand free and sat up straight, his eyes singular on the kids on the beach.
“You can,” she said. “I won’t judge you.”
He rested his hands on his knees and took a great breath, like what he was about to say required strength and inner fortitude. “I’d go back to high school and ask you out.”
She started to laugh, but he continued, his voice possessing a quiet strength. “Even though you had that other boyfriend. And if it didn’t work out then, I’d make sure I called you before that stupid
Fall Festival dance where Matt beat me to asking you to dance.”
Janey’s insides iced over, and she stared at the side of Adam’s face, trying to make sense of everything he’d said. Everything he’d just admitted.
As if in slow motion, he turned toward her, his eyes locking onto hers. “I’ve liked you for a really long time, Janey. Longer than is even normal, or sane.” Yet he didn’t laugh. His blue eyes seemed electric and fiery, like the very middle of a very hot flame. “So if I had one thing to go back and change, it would be to make sure you knew I was interested in you before twenty years went by.”
His words sat between them like a hunk of cement, and try as she might, Janey had no idea how to respond.
He stood up, switching his attention back to the beach. “Excuse me.”
She let him go though she wanted to call him back. Make him explain himself further. He’d been by her side through childhood. She’d cheered for him at the football games. He’d never given any indication that he wanted to go out with her.
Even on the night of the Fall Festival, when Matt had asked her to dance, Adam hadn’t flinched. He’d said nothing. He’d stood beside Matt as his best man as she married him. Never once had she known he had feelings for her. Never until last week.
Her heart thundered in her chest, making breathing difficult. Now her stomach swooped, and she thought the crackers and lemonade she’d been snacking on would make a reappearance.
How had he endured all of that and not said anything? Had Matt known? The questions continued to pile up, but one broke free from the pack and screamed through her mind.
Had she kept herself from happiness with Adam because she was still hung up on a man who’d died twelve years ago?
Chapter Twelve
Adam couldn’t stay at the beach house, not after what he’d confessed. “You’re so delusional,” he muttered to himself as he drove down the highway. No way he could go back there and exist in the same space as Janey and keep the relationship a secret. Not after spilling one of his biggest secrets.