He caught sight of his mother as she and Joel passed him going the opposite way. He should go back. Go back and get everything out in the open so they could get on with the weekend. His and Janey’s relationship didn’t have to detract from planning Drew and Gretchen’s wedding.
Did it?
He pulled over to the side of the road and said, “Call Janey Germaine.”
The screen on his console blipped with blue light and said in a robotic female voice, “Calling Janey Germaine.”
Adam looked out the window, every organ in his body rioting. He couldn’t seem to settle on any one thought, especially as her phone rang twice, then three times.
“Hey,” she said, overly chipper. “What’s up?”
“You’re with my parents, aren’t you?”
“Yes, just a sec.”
Scrapes and scuffles came through the line, and then she said, “Where are you?” in a much more hushed and urgent tone.
“I went for a drive.”
“I don’t suppose we’re going to make it through the weekend without telling everyone about us, are we?”
“I don’t know,” Adam said, thinking of Jess’s schoolboy crush on his best friend, Dixie. But Adam knew his crush was way beyond schoolboy stage. And he knew he’d blown things wide open for Janey by saying so much.
“I’m worried about Jess,” she whispered. “He’s going through a transition right now.”
Adam half-chuckled. “Yeah, they’re called hormones.” He looked away from his reflection in the glass and said, “Look, I’ll talk to him about it. See how he reacts. Then maybe we can go from there.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice pitching up the slightest bit. “I had no idea.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “It’s not your fault at all. I shouldn’t have said so much.”
“Did you really like me in high school?”
“Do you really think the Chief of Police goes around lying to women?”
She giggled, which somehow broke the tension between them. “Come on back,” she said. “Your mother already suspects something is going on.”
“How so?”
“I told her you were my sister, but then had to go upstairs to talk to you. And she knows you should be here.”
“Just tell her I went out driving. Wait.” He exhaled, his immature behavior getting him stuck between a rock and a hard place. “Don’t tell her that. She knows I only go out driving when I’m stressed. Then she’ll want to know what’s going on.” He put the car in gear and eased back onto the road.
“Tell her I had to run and get some drinks.”
“We have drinks here.”
“What’s Jess’s favorite soda?”
“So you’re going to sugar him up and then tell him we’re dating?”
“If it kills two birds with one stone....”
She laughed, and he joined in. “What do you want?” he asked.
“Diet Coke,” she said. “Jess too.”
“Two Diet Cokes, coming right up.” Adam pulled into a convenience store and stared at the cases of soda. He had no idea there were so many choices for Diet Coke. In the end, he picked what he hoped was regular Diet Coke—no cherry, no vanilla, no zeroes in sight—and headed back to the beach house.
When he got there, he called, “Here’s your soda,” as if he’d planned to make a drink run all along.
“There you are.” His mom came out of the kitchen, a wide smile on her face.
“Hey, Mom.” He set the drinks on the counter and embraced her. “When did you guys get here?”
“Oh, just a few minutes ago. Joel’s lying down.”
Alarm pulled through Adam and he straightened. “He is? Is he okay?”
“He was up most of the night with one of the goats. He’ll be fine once he gets in a little nap.” She nodded toward the huge wall of windows. “Janey’s on the deck. Kids are on the beach.”
Adam picked up the sodas and moved that way. “Are you going to come out?”
“In a few minutes. Drew asked me to make those cheddar garlic knots to go with the pizza they’re bringing back.” She smiled, and nothing seemed too off. Adam nodded and went back outside, the sun warm but the wind chilly.
He sat beside Janey, in the same lounge chair he’d been in before, and set the bottles of soda on the table between them. “Drinks.”
She looked at him, and he swore an hour could’ve passed and he wouldn’t have known. Gazing into her eyes made everything else fade into nothing, as if she alone held the key to experiencing life.
Blink, he told himself. Blink now!
He did, and changed his gaze to the water. “Still goin’ strong, huh?”
“You’ll have to drag Jess off the beach,” she said, as if he hadn’t confessed his decades-old love for her only an hour ago, right in this very spot.
“Are we going to talk about what I said?” he asked.
She reached over and brushed her fingers along his forearm before picking up her bottle and twisting the lid. The hiss of carbonation escaping made a background as she said, “We already did.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
Adam’s chest tightened. “I was jealous of him for a long time,” he said. He didn’t need to say Matt’s name. Janey would know. “Eventually, that faded. And then he died, and then I felt so guilty. And then...then my old feelings came back.”
“I understand a little bit about feeling guilty.”
“What do you have to feel guilty about?”
“Dating someone else.” She took a long drag of her soda. “For a while there, I vowed I never would. But that’s...unrealistic.”
Adam didn’t want to agree, so he said nothing. His mother poked her head out of the house and said, “I’m going to take a shower. Drew and Gretchen will be back in thirty minutes with dinner.”
“Sounds good,” Adam said, his voice just a touch too loud. His mom either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and she left.
He waited through a few agonizingly slow breaths. Then he reached over and took Janey’s hand in his again. She sighed as if his touch healed unseen things and squeezed his fingers.
Letting his eyes drift closed once again, more joy than Adam had ever known spread through him.
That night, after dinner, after card games, after way too much bread, Adam went upstairs with a slightly sunburnt Jess. “You’ll have to wear more sunblock tomorrow, bud,” he said.
“It’ll fade,” Jess said. “It always does.”
Adam had his doubts. If Jess could see the Rudolph quality of his nose, he wouldn’t say that. Adam followed him into their bedroom and paused. “Okay, so Drew put your cot against the wall.”
His brother had found a couple of hammocks and cots in the garage of the beach house and texted the owner to see if they could be used. When the answer was yes, Drew had brought one cot up to this room and hung the hammocks from the deck so people could nap there tomorrow.
“You can take the top blanket from the bed,” Adam said, pulling it down. “There’s another one underneath. I’ll be plenty warm.”
Once they were both lying in their beds, Adam gazed at the ceiling and asked, “Jess, can I talk to you about something?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“It sort of has to do with Dixie.”
The boy sucked in a breath. “You didn’t tell my mom, did you?”
“Of course not.”
“Good. It’s stupid anyway, and I don’t want Dixie to know.”
“It’s not stupid,” Adam said, trying to make his words line up. “It’s okay to have a crush on someone.”
“Right.” Jess’s tone indicated he didn’t need a lecture on the birds and the bees.
“I sort of have a crush I wanted you to know about.” His mouth was so dry. He hadn’t even told his brother about his feelings for Janey. And telling her son—his best friend’s son—was infinitely worse than talking to Drew about it.
; The cot squeaked as Jess moved on it, but Adam kept his eyes on the ceiling, tracking the lines in the wood he could barely see with the moonlight coming in the window.
“It’s your mom,” Adam blurted. “I kinda like your mom the way you like Dixie.”
Jess hissed. Or maybe he was simply exhaling. “Are you serious?” he asked.
“Kinda. Yeah.” Adam cleared his throat. “See? Women make all men nervous, no matter how old we get.” He chuckled, finding his center and seizing onto it. “How do you feel about that? I mean, what if I asked your mom out and we went to dinner or something?”
“I...guess, yeah. She never goes out. She’d probably like it.”
“Why do you think she never goes out?”
“Because she still loves my dad.”
Adam pulled in a breath, the words so bare and so full of truth they burned. He didn’t know what to say to such a powerful statement, and he turned his head and looked out the moonlit window.
“It’s not stupid how you feel about Dixie,” he said, real quiet, almost like he didn’t want Jess to hear him. Several seconds of silence passed, and Adam wondered if maybe the boy had fallen asleep.
“Yeah, probably not,” he finally said. “And I can tell that you like my mom more than kinda.”
“Yeah, probably.” Adam chuckled, the sound rolling and gaining strength until they were both laughing out loud.
Chapter Thirteen
Janey stood on the back deck, the wind trying to take her hair right off her head. She kept her hands buried deep in the front pocket of her hoodie, not even willing to take them out so she could sip her coffee. It had likely gone cold in the few minutes she’d been waiting for the sun to rise.
The golden glow was almost over the mountains, and she wanted to experience the day at its birth. Wanted to see if there were any new possibilities for this Saturday. For her.
Finally, the edge of the star peeked over the mountain, and Janey tilted her head back and closed her eyes. A sigh passed through her whole body as the first rays of light touched the little bit of skin exposed to the elements.
“Watching the sun rise?”
She turned at the sound of Joel’s voice, a fond smile lighting upon her lips. “Yes, come see.”
He ambled over to her and faced the bay. “Did you hear Jess and Adam laughing last night?”
“The whole house heard them.” Janey’s curiosity had kept her awake for an extra half-hour, especially when neither one of them would answer her texts. She didn’t expect Jess to be up for at least another hour, but Adam should be down at any time. She wanted to see him first thing.
“Donna’s fixing to make pumpkin pancakes.”
Janey smiled and threw a glance in Joel’s direction. “How festive.”
“She goes crazy this time of year with the pumpkin.”
She wasn’t sure if Joel appreciated that or not. He sipped his coffee and watched the waves. A rush of gratitude swept over her, and she half-turned toward him. “Have I told you thank you for always taking Jess when I need you to? For letting him ride the horses and go out to that wishing well, and...all of it.”
Joel looked at her. “You say it every time I see you, Janey.”
“Well, I am thankful.”
“Drew does most of it.” Joel put his mug next to hers on the railing. “Jess is a good worker. He takes care of the horses pretty much by himself these days.”
“He’s not out there every day,” she said. “So that can’t be true.”
“When he is out there, he does it.”
Janey nodded, glad her son wasn’t being a burden to Adam’s parents. With a realization that startled her physically, she realized that if she and Adam ever got married, Joel and Donna would become Jess’s grandparents.
She wondered what Adam had said to Jess last night to make him laugh so hard. Had he confessed the same thing to him that he had to her? Her impatience made her feet shift and her stomach pinch.
“Have you seen Adam?”
“He took the dogs running.” Drew stepped beside Janey. “Left about an hour ago, so he should be back soon.”
Janey wasn’t sure if she should be frustrated that Adam got up early and ran along the beach, or if she should admire him for exercising while on vacation. The man amazed her, and he was almost too perfect.
Don’t forget he’s Matt’s best friend.
That was definitely a strike against him.
And that he’s the Chief of Police. Not exactly a safe job. He could die at any time.
She recognized the absurdity of her thoughts at the same time she gave him another strike. One more, and would she throw him out?
She sighed, scanning the beach now as the sunlight started warming the sand. Sure enough, only a moment later, a man rounded the curve of the bay, running with two dogs beside him.
Drew’s German shepherds flanked him, one on each side, their tongues hanging out of their mouths as they kept pace with the cop. He wore athletic shorts and a gray T-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. Janey had never seen anything so magnificent, and all her muscles released from how tight she’d been holding them against the chill in the air.
“Ah, there he is now.” Joel wore the smile in his voice Janey felt stretch her mouth.
Drew went down the steps to meet his dogs, one of which barked and ran circles around him. He laughed, and sand flew as he tried to catch the canine. Adam stretched, taking his time before he came up the steps.
Janey held very, very still, watching him advance.
“Morning,” he said to Joel, his eyes looking past her instead of directly at her.
“Your mom is making breakfast,” Joel said.
“Great.” Adam moved to step around Janey. His pinky finger barely grazed hers, and she almost fell to her knees when her bones turned to marshmallows. “Hey, Janey.”
“Hey,” fell from her lips. Why she was going all melty, she had no idea. Because he was handsome? He’d been good-looking for years and years. Because he’d gone running with his brother’s dogs? He probably did that every day back home, but with his own dogs. She inhaled some reason into her brain and turned.
He’d already moved all the way to the door. “Hey, what were you and Jess laughing about last night?”
He gave her a flirtatious grin and said, “I’ll tell you later.” He went inside without another word, leaving her to face two slobbery German shepherds who’d just launched themselves up the steps to the deck.
After breakfast, which she’d eaten between Gretchen and Jess, she sat with Gretchen at the dining room table, a binder spread before them. She peered at the columns labeled Flowers, Dress, Photographer, Reception Center, and at least half a dozen more.
“You’re doing the flowers,” Janey said, reading the notes. “How’s that coming?”
“Pretty good. I’m making all the centerpieces. My bouquet, the boutonnieres, and flower crowns for the bridesmaids.”
“Flower crowns?” Janey couldn’t imagine herself wearing a flower crown. “What’s that going to be like?”
Gretchen flipped to the FLOWERS divider and a sketch sat on the first page. “Something like this. It won’t be too huge.”
It looked huge to Janey, and she studied it for a few moments. “Is that a daisy?” Several smaller flowers ran along the forehead, with a much larger one over the right temple.
“Yes.” Gretchen gazed at the sketch with fondness. “I’ve been engineering a hybrid daisy. It’s an indigo daisy, and they’ll be ready by the wedding.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about an indigo daisy.” Janey’s voice was laced with surprise and admiration at the same time.
“Oh, I’ve been cross-pollinating them for a few years.” She giggled and turned the page. “Dreaming.” She shrugged and said, “I guess sometimes dreams do come true.”
Janey thought of Adam, and how long he’d been waiting to go out with her. Had one of his dreams come true when they’d eaten soup at the lodge?
r /> The weight of fulfilling someone’s dreams suddenly seemed crushing, and she leaned away from the binder. “So you knew Drew for a while before you guys started dating, right?”
“Yeah, well, sort of. He delivered Daisy, and we’d spent some time out at the lavender farm when I used to come as a teenager. Nothing serious.”
“Nothing serious,” Janey echoed, her thoughts moving away from the wedding preparations.
Gretchen didn’t flip more pages, or move to a new section, or ask another question. By the time Janey felt the weight of her stare, it was too late to play off as nothing.
“Janey,” she said in a cautious voice, almost a sing-song. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly.
Gretchen tucked Janey’s hair behind her ear. “You’ve never lied to me before. It’s kind of cute how you think you can.”
Janey smiled and laughed with Gretchen. “Fine. All right.” She straightened and tossed her head, as if preparing to do something wild and adventurous. “Okay.” She cleared her throat.
“Are you dating someone?”
Janey pressed her lips together to keep them from smiling and nodded.
Gretchen bounced in her seat, her eyes alight. “Oh my gosh. This is huge!”
“I know.” She glanced around. “Sh. No one knows yet. I haven’t even talked to Jess about it.” Of course, Adam was supposed to talk to Jess, but “later” hadn’t come yet so she didn’t know if he actually had. Or why they’d been laughing. He’d gone down to the beach with the kids and the rest of his family, leaving her and Gretchen to work on the wedding.
Gretchen quieted and leaned in farther, also glancing around. “Okay, I’ll be quiet. But come on. You haven’t dated in years. Or even seemed interested in it.”
“That’s not true. I’ve been thinking about it for a few months.”
“Thinking is a lot different than doing.” Gretchen cocked one eyebrow. “You won’t even give me a hint as to who it is?”
Janey could give little clues, sure. But she liked the idea of just saying Adam’s name. Maybe not as much as she liked keeping their budding relationship secret. So she oscillated between blurting out his name and bottling everything up.