“No. Maddie, I don’t think that.”
“Luke, I get it. I get why you left. I understood then, and I understand now. I was a silly little kid, okay? I’m not her anymore. I’m not some lovesick teen pining after someone who never wanted me.”
“That’s what you think?” I asked, stepping closer to her, feeling the heat of her body radiate into mine. “You think I never wanted you? That I don’t want you now?”
Her motions stilled, shoulders tense and strained. “Don’t say another word, Luke. Just don’t. Don’t stand there behind me and give me even a sliver of false hope. You ruined me once. I won’t let you do it again.”
“Maddie…” I reached out for her, but she immediately shrugged my hand off her shoulder.
“Go back to your life in the city. Just leave, go home.”
“I’m not leaving this time, Maddie. I’m staying. I’m…”
“Then go find someone else to play with. I’m not interested in knowing who you want or what you want. Just stay away from me.”
CHAPTER 10
MADELINE
He didn’t stay away.
He sat at the bar for four nights straight, watching me. He’d order one or two drinks and just watch and wait. At closing time, he’d pull his dented up Jeep in front of the bar and ask me if I needed a ride home. I would just shake my head and walk past, wondering how long it was going to take to shake him from this nonsense. What he was trying to prove. If Travis was in the bar, then Luke wouldn’t pay attention to me. I was some forbidden fruit to him that he remembered tasted sweet at one time and wanted another bite. Thing was, I had no more bites left.
On the fifth night, Travis and a bunch of guys from the mill came in and sat around the bar with Luke. He still watched me, but only from the corner of his eye. Sometime just before closing, Jason, whatever-his-last name-was, was leaning up against the bar in my section and smiled at me. “You look real pretty tonight, Maddie.”
“Just tonight?” I asked, smiling back at him.
“Always. You’re always pretty to me.” He stood still, waiting for me to ask the same question I did last time, Want to come home and show me how pretty you think I am? And I opened my mouth to say the words, I did, but they didn’t come out. My chest burned, and my cheeks warmed to an almost painful heat. I should ask him. I should ask him and just go home with this random man and feel pretty for a while... wanted.
“She’s going home with me tonight,” a voice said.
My heart sped up, and then skidded to a screeching halt. Luke stormed up between us and shoved himself between Jason and me. “Leave,” he snarled into Jason’s face.
Jason’s eyes darted to mine. “Maybe next time,” he smiled, walking off, like he knew there would definitely be a next time. God, what a waste of an orgasm he was.
I glanced up at Luke and shook my head. “You going to stop me from having a sex life now?”
“Letting a practical stranger fuck you against a wall for three or four seconds isn’t a sex life.”
“Whatever,” I sighed, untying my apron and waving goodnight to Ava, who was closing tonight. I shoved my apron into the locker in the hallway and took my time pulling out my jacket, losing sight and care of Luke. Hopefully, the cockblocker was on his way home already.
“Goodnight, Steve!” I called to my boss as I made my way to the back exit. Before I reached the door, a pair of hands cupped my waist and pulled me back into the dark shadows of the backroom. Large, warm hands that spun me around and cupped my face to hold me in place. Luke’s breath fanned out around my face. The smell of his cologne and skin made my knees weak, but I pushed my hands out to keep him at a distance.
“You don’t go home with anyone—but me.”
“You’re crazy,” I said, choking on a trembling breath. “Let me go,” I snarled, looking past him toward the bar area.
“Look at me, Maddie,” he whispered, sliding his hand down around my neck, his thumb pulling my bottom lip down.
I tilted my head up to meet his eyes, and heat coiled and zipped through my chest and down my middle. “Shit,” I cursed under my breath, trying to slow down my breathing.
“I don’t want you taking anymore guys home.” His voice was deep and demanding. “If you need someone to make you feel good, it’s going to be me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, and my breath shuddered violently through my chest. “You don’t want that, Luke. Believe me.”
“I want it, trust me. I never wanted anything more.”
His forehead touched mine and his hands slowly slid down my arms. My jacket dangled from my hands, then dropped in a heap on the floor. The pads of his fingers slid under the hem of my shirt and worked their way to the button of my pants and pulled them open. “I can’t watch it anymore. It’s making me crazy. You need someone to make you feel good, right now?”
I arched my body against his in response.
Reaching up, he tangled a hand through my hair and shifted his other hand slowly down the front of my pants. He fisted the strands of my hair, tightly holding my head in place. “Keep your eyes on mine. I want you to remember who’s making you come hard tonight.”
His fingers slipped under the edge of my panties and with a gentle plunge, he shoved them deep inside me. “Oh, shit,” I panted.
“You’re so wet,” he whispered, picking up the rhythm and curling his fingers into my flesh. “You remember how hard you came on my cock five years ago?”
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling the first waves of pleasure as his fingers thrust deeper and faster inside me.
“I can’t wait to be inside you again, Maddie.”
I came hard around his fingers as he slammed his other hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming out his name.
CHAPTER 11
LUKE
I was pacing—wearing a hole in the rug as if it were my wedding rehearsal dinner that was about to happen. I straightened my suit jacket, and Travis stilled me with his hands, squeezing my shoulders. “You’re getting me nervous. This is just the rehearsal dinner. Stop pacing,” he said, patting my chest. His eyes narrowed, and a slow smile began to appear across his face. “Are you wearing your holster…and your gun…to my wedding rehearsal?”
“Uh yeah, I don’t go anywhere without my gun.”
“Really?” he twisted his face up awkwardly. “What happens on dates?”
“It’s always on me.”
“Remind me never to piss you off,” he said, leaning forward to look out the restaurant window.
“Yeah, right, because I usually shoot people I’m pissed off at,” I said drily.
He shook his head and chuckled softly. “What if she doesn’t show up?”
“Why wouldn’t she show up? It’s the wedding rehearsal, not the real wedding—that’s when you should be nervous.”
“You’re not making me feel any better. Really, just quit pacing and stop answering me,” he said, leaning his forehead against the window to get a better view of the outside. “Hey, okay, here comes Maddie and her date.”
At the mention of her named, I stilled, and my pulse pounded through my ears. I hadn’t seen her since the night in the hallway at the bar. I’d tried to stay away, because when I’m near her, I don’t want to keep my hands off her. The way she still looked at me with those bedroom eyes, I wanted to be with her more than anything. I’ve tried to stop the thoughts, but they slam through my brain repeatedly. I even forced myself to take out one of Casey’s friends that Travis introduced me to, and I ended up calling her Maddie three different times. I ended the date after an hour…Wait, what did he just say? “Hold up. Maddie’s here with a date?”
“Yeah, I set up a date for her with a really nice guy. Casey knows him from work. I had to step in; she’s out of control. I don’t want her to end up like Ava.”
“And the first person you thought of for her was a stranger?”
“I told you Casey knows him from work,” he said, grimacing at me. “Don’t look at me lik
e that. Why the hell would you even care?”
“You didn’t think to ask me?”
He raised his chin slowly and locked eyes on me. He loosened the collar of his shirt and cleared his throat before speaking. “You hate each other. Why would I ask you? Are you suddenly interested in my sister?”
“I always was, yeah.”
“That’s gross,” he laughed.
“I’m serious. I’ve had it bad for her since we were kids. I like her.”
“Sorry Luke, but I’m sure my sister hates your guts. Always has, always will.” He shrugged and patted me on the back. He spun around just as the front door opened and in walked Maddie, linked at the elbow with some scrawny looking punk, wearing a turtleneck and a pair of what had to be his father’s black slacks...three sizes too big. “Have you heard from Casey?” Travis asked. “She’s never late, and it’s getting close to—”
“—Yes, Trav, stop. Are you thinking she’s not going to show up...to the rehearsal dinner? Save the nerves for the wedding day, that’s when she’d run,” she laughed.
Travis’s eyes darted back and forth between us, and he shook his head. “You both have the same personality. You would be perfect for each other.”
Maddie gave me a confused look, and I waved it off. “So who’s this?” I asked, nudging my chin at the boy child standing next to her.
“Robert,” she said in a soft voice. “Robert, this is Travis’s best man, Luke.”
He held out his hand and smiled. I grabbed it hard and squeezed. “I’m the best man for Maddie here too.”
His eyes crinkled in the corners. “Excuse me?”
“Go ahead,” I shrugged, “you’re excused. You could go now. Run the fuck along.”
Maddie stepped between us and pried my hand off Robert’s. “That’s enough. What the hell is wrong with you?”
I stepped in closer and lowered my face to hers. “Did you forget about whose name you were screaming out in the hallway?”
“Yep, around the same time you took Daisy Mendala out on a date. And don’t be too proud of yourself, Luke. I’ve screamed out a lot of different names over the years. Yours wasn’t special.”
“Um…Okay…Why were you screaming out his name?” Robert cut in, tugging her by the elbow away from me.
She yanked her elbow out of his grip as I tugged her away from him. “Get your hands off me!” she snapped at him, while at the same time I yelled, “Get your hands off her!”
She whirled around to face me and yelped, “Get your hands off me too!”
“Do you have to do this at my wedding rehearsal?” Travis demanded, jumping in the middle of all of us and grabbing his sister. “Really? What the hell is wrong with all of you?” His eyes leveled on mine, and his nose flared. “And what the fuck happened in the hallway?”
Maddie smiled wide and shoved herself off her brother. Her voice was flat and heartless when she said the words, but they twisted like a knife through my heart nonetheless. “Nothing. He fingered me in the hallway right before closing of the bar.” Then, she walked into the restaurant and took her seat like nothing ever happened. I watched her walk away, sick to my stomach, and then, I turned to face Travis. I was completely prepared to get my ass kicked.
“You couldn’t leave her alone, could you? It wasn’t bad enough you had her when she was seventeen, right?”
“Wait, what the fuck? You knew?”
“I’m her older brother, Luke. I’m all she ever had. Who did you think wiped her tears when you left? I figured it out real fast. You left, and she was devastated. I’m not stupid.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me? We talked all these years, and you never once told me anything about her being devastated.”
“Would you have come back?”
I couldn’t answer. I wouldn’t have; I wouldn’t have come home until my father was dead.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so. And neither did she. That’s why she didn’t tell you shit. You’re not the best man for her, so quit pretending you could be.”
CHAPTER 12
MADELINE
By the time the appetizers were finished everyone was drunk, and Robert had propositioned me four times to walk with him into the hallway, or the bathroom, or to get something he forgot in his car. I ignored each advance and smiled politely, so there would be no scene. Inside my head, I was stabbing him in the dick with my salad fork. Repeatedly. I tried to stay stoic and stare straight ahead, but that was a problem in and of itself, since Luke planted his dumb face in the seat across from me and glared at me continuously.
“Where’d you find this one,” my mother pointed at Robert while sucking deeply on the end of one of those electrical vapor cigarettes. “What do you do for a living? I’ve never seen you at the mill.”
“I work with Casey at the Briar Inn. I’m the manager there,” he said proudly.
My mother nodded her head like she thought that was the most interesting news. Then, they leaned their heads together like two little old women and gossiped about how many of the people in town rent out rooms by the hour and with whom, all while Robert kept trying to slide his stupid hands up my skirt under the table.
When Robert’s fingers reached dangerous heights up my thigh, I pretended to accidently knock my full glass of wine into his lap. He jumped up as the cold liquid spread across the front of his pants. “Why’d you have to go and do that?” he yelled, shaking out his hands and spraying wine all over the table.
“Oops,” I smiled.
He sighed loudly and pulled at the wet material.
“Oh, you poor thing,” my mother cooed. “That’s my Maddie,” she laughed nervously, “always making a mess of things.” She stood up and helped him wipe his pants off with a bunch of napkins. “I bet they have those hand dryers in the bathroom. Why don’t you go and see if you can dry up a bit?” He nodded and walked quickly to the bathroom, like a pansy. Good. I hope he gets lost on his way back. He was trying to get in my panties while talking to my mother. It just wasn’t right. That had disgusting man-fetish written all over it.
She sat back down and leaned her hand on his chair to whisper loudly to me, “He’s a nice catch. You should keep that one around.”
Not this again.
My eyes darted forward, trying to avoid yet another browbeating from my mother. Luke looked miserable across the table, just sitting there staring at me. He shook his head slightly, and I had to fight with the tears that burned at the corners of my eyes. Why was he shaking that damned gorgeous head of his? What was going on in that empty brain of his? He was the one avoiding me after the hallway incident and taking Daisy out, not me. “He’s got a good job, and he’s handsome, polite,” my mother continued. “A boy like that will keep you out of trouble. You’d stop being the talk of the town.” Oh, this isn’t embarrassing at all. My eyes locked on Luke’s, his face grim and desperate. “It’s time to grow up, baby girl. Let someone else be the town’s damaged goods.”
Damaged goods.
I nodded and turned my head away from Luke and toward her, but there was nothing to say. No words would come out. My mother was always trying to find me someone to settle down with. Always calling me damaged goods. She knew me better than anyone else in the world. I was her daughter and that was the thing she loved to talk about the most with me—damaged goods.
I nodded at all the appropriate times and stared at Luke’s blue eyes, trying to remember the way he looked at me that night so long ago.
When dessert arrived, Robert was too intoxicated to even stand, so Casey called his brother to come pick him up, which left me without a ride home. But no one noticed. So after dessert, and after toasts and a drunken rendition of her dancing down the aisle and make-believe vows, they all shrugged on their coats and said their drunken goodbyes.
I hid in the restroom until they were all gone, spending my time cursing myself for wearing heels that I would now have to walk five miles home in. I could have called a cab, but the gossip at the Mill the next week
would be painful for my mother. My mother believes her life has been painful enough, thank you very much, and she will not tolerate any more from her sinful daughter. In her eyes, I already owed the devil my soul from just the gossip she’s heard over the years. Gossip in a small town is harsh, especially when you give the town a little bit of something like, Oh, I heard that wild Cross girl had to take a cab home Friday night because…and they fill the rest in with their imagination. Sometimes I think I lead a very exciting life through the judgmental eyes of the people in this narrow-minded town. Whatever.
I walked out of the restaurant with my head held high and said my goodbyes and thank yous to the staff. It wasn’t late, but it was already dark out, and the walk home was going to be a long and lonely one. Kind of pissed I took off of work for this.
“I was wondering when you were going to come out of there,” Luke’s voice whispered as soon as I stepped outside. He was leaning up against the front bricks of the restaurant, hands in his pockets, one knee up with his foot resting against the wall. I hated myself for it, but warmth spread across my chest and pulled at things I wanted long dead. My breath caught in my throat, and I gasped out his name, “Luke?”
He pushed himself off the wall and stepped in front of me, a small, timid smile tugging at one corner of his lips.
“You waited? For me?” I asked, honestly surprised.
He nodded, reached his hand out for me, and pulled me into him. His lips touched my forehead and ignited an inferno under my skin. “Yeah. I’m thinking we need to talk.”
I tilted my head up to his. “A talk, huh?”
“Come on, let me drive you home,” he said, tugging me through the parking lot toward his Jeep. He slid his arm around my shoulder and pressed me up against his side as we walked. When we reached his car, he stilled, and a strange tension stiffened his entire body. I could feel it travel through him as it tightened his leg muscles, then his upper body muscles became strained and hard. His hands clenched around the shoulder of my coat, and his breathing became different.