“Is Paige going to be okay?” Carrie asked.
“Carrie?” I tried to say but couldn’t.
What the hell?
For a second I wondered if this could be a dream, but I sensed Carrie and another presence near me, so it couldn’t be. I was lying on something soft–a couch maybe–and the air smelled like tobacco.
I willed myself to move.
Nothing.
I couldn’t even move one stupid finger.
Crap.
And then a male voice told her I’d be fine, and something cold and damp was placed on my forehead. I tried to recall what happened, but my mind was all foggy. All I could remember was going to The Lion’s Den with Carrie and Matt and talking to Tree.
“Do you know if she ate something tonight?” the mystery guy’s soft voice asked.
“No,” Carrie said, unsure. She paused for a minute. “Why?” Her voice came from across the room and even though my eyes were closed, I knew her well enough to know she had a questioning look on her face, and she was looking at this guy for an answer. “Do you think that’s the reason why she passed out?”
“I think it could be,” he said next to me.
Who is this guy? I thought, and at the same time wondered if I did eat this evening, but then Carrie captured my attention by asking him if he was new in town. For some odd reason the sound of his voice comforted me, and I wanted to listen to it some more.
“Yes. I moved here from Seattle three months ago.”
“Are you from Seattle?”
“No. I’m actually from Missouri.”
“Oh … So what brought you here?”
All of a sudden the pig-squealing-tiny-bell-sound exploded in my ears, and the door opened.
“Carrie, is Paige okay?” Matt asked above the tide of thumping music.
When I heard Matt’s voice, everything came back to me in quick flickering images: the look he gave me when we were having coffee, Carrie pulling me on the dance floor, hovering in the air, seeing that hooded guy, watching myself dance, and Matt’s eyes glowing.
My heart pounded in my ears, and the words from my premonition leaked into my conscious mind. My body shook as a cold feeling came over me that I might be dying. Oh. God. Please. I don’t want to die!
“What’s wrong with Paige?” Carrie shrieked.
“You need to leave,” the guy barked at Matt, surprising me because I didn’t understand why he’d say that to him. I mean, Matt just wanted to know if I was okay, so what was his problem?
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Matt said, sharp and defensive.
“Look. She’ll be waking up soon. Can you get her a protein drink from the juice bar.” It wasn’t a question but a harsh command.
Jeez, what was with this guy?
“Fine … By the way. What’s your name?”
“Nathan Caswell.”
“Well, Nathan Caswell, I’ll be right back.” Matt spat out each word like they were poison on his lips. I could feel the hostility in his words as if they had slapped me in the face.
The door slammed and the ringing in my ears abruptly quit. I stopped shaking and tried to open my eyes as the heaviness in my body began to lift.
“You really pissed him off.” Carrie sounded both shocked and nervous.
“He’ll get over it,” Nathan murmured.
I could feel him kneeling beside me, his hand next to my side, pushing down on the cushion.
Slowly my eyes opened to a pair of dark blue eyes that were full of concern. I blinked a couple times, and saw relief cross his boyish face. His short brown hair had blond tips that stood on top of his head in ‘80s skater fashion, and he still had his jacket on. I wondered if he was cold.
He was cute, and I couldn’t understand why he’d be concerned about me. A warm smile formed on his face, and for the first time in my life something fluttered inside my chest.
“Paige, you’re awake.” Carrie bumped Nathan aside. “I was so scared.” Tears glistened in her brown eyes. She took my hand. Her palm was all sweaty, and I had to resist the urge to pull my hand away and wipe it off. “But Nathan knew what to do. He picked you up and brought you here to the employee lounge. The night supervisor said it was okay, but I think it was because he thought you might sue him and–”
I lifted my hand. “Hold on a minute.” I pushed myself to a sitting position. The damp washrag fell off my forehead onto my lap, soaking through my dress, the wet coldness pressing against my thighs. I stared at it stupidly until Carrie picked it up and tossed it across the room into the metal sink. “Thanks,” I said, touching the wet spot in my lap.
Nathan handed me a towel and bent down next to Carrie. His hand rested on the arm of the couch next to my shoulder, his face inches from mine. He looked at me, searching for any hint of discomfort. My stomach flipped.
“How are you feeling?”
I dropped my gaze, patting my lap with the towel. “I think I’m okay, but I do feel weak, and my head is foggy.”
“Matt’s getting you a protein drink,” Carrie said. She stuck her hand out. “I’ll take that for you.”
I handed her the towel and turned to Nathan, and I swear the energy between us crackled. Or was I imagining it? I didn’t know. But I was getting annoyed with myself for allowing a cute guy to affect me like this. Was I that pathetic? “And thank you for everything.”
“Anytime,” he said with a half-smile, dazzling me.
“I’m going to get our stuff and see what’s taking Matt so long,” Carrie announced.
I glanced at her and realized I wasn’t breathing. Inconspicuously, I exhaled a lungful of air, feeling ridiculous. What the hell was wrong with me?
Carrie stepped beside Nathan and thrust her hand in my face. “I need the locker key.” Her eyes darted between Nathan and me, and I knew she sensed how he was making me feel by the strange look on her face and the slight curve in her red lips. We shared a look two girlfriends exchanged when one of them didn’t want the other to blab about something.
Nathan wandered over to the door as if the black paint and the silver knob suddenly fascinated him. Carrie hitched her thumb at him, screwing her face up. I lifted my shoulders and glanced down. Reaching into the front of my dress, I pulled a brass key out of my bra. The locker number was etched into it. I handed it over to Carrie and narrowed my eyes when an impish smile crossed her face. She turned to Nathan.
“Make sure she doesn’t get up. She tends to be stubborn, and I–”
“Hey. I’m not that stubborn.” I glared at her back, irritated she said that. It was bad enough I was experiencing strong emotions toward a guy I just met, but now she had to embarrass me in front of him. I gritted my teeth.
“Anyway,” she said, ignoring my outburst, but I saw her jerking her thumb at me, nodding, and Nathan smiling, “I think Paige should drink the protein smoothie before we leave. So make sure she stays where she’s at.”
“Don’t worry. I will,” Nathan said, sounding amused.
“I don’t need a babysitter, Carrie,” I said under my breath, staring at my fingers, wishing she’d keep her trap shut and get our stuff already. I couldn’t believe she had said that.
She turned. “Paige, you’ve been taking care of yourself almost your whole life, and I know you don’t need a babysitter, but for once please allow someone else to take care of you.”
As she said that, the room tilted at an odd angle, and I could feel the energy draining from me. I blinked several times to fight against it. My temples throbbed and red blotches crossed my vision.
Carrie’s eyes bugged out between the sharp black panels that kept flashing in front of me. “What’s wrong, Paige?” Her scared voice rang out. “You’re so pale.”
“I … I … I don’t know,” I said, still blinking, rubbing my temples.
Nathan rushed to my side and told Carrie to get my drink and to hurry. He mumbled something about needing a vending machine in here and kneeled beside me. He had that concern look on his face again.
&n
bsp; I wanted to tell him I was okay, so he didn’t feel stuck with me, but the heaviness in my tongue prevented me from doing so. I closed my eyes. The fear of passing out again and never waking up entered my mind, and for some reason I thought about my father, missing him. But I wasn’t ready to join him in the afterlife. In fact, I wanted it the other way around. If he were alive, Mom would be home working in town instead of as a traveling nurse, and we’d all be together. We’d be a family. Our house would be filled with love and laughter instead of silence, but that would never happen.
I felt truly alone.
“You’re going to be all right, Paige,” Nathan whispered.
I opened my eyes, thankful the room was no longer tilting, but embarrassed about this whole ordeal and how he was making me feel. I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry.” I glanced at him and looked away, my cheeks burning.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He lifted his hand to my face, but then dropped it.
Carrie burst through the door with a Styrofoam cup in her hand. “Here you go, Paige.” She handed it to me, and I immediately drank the fruity mango smoothie. The coldness slid down my throat and into my chest, freezing it. I shivered. It tasted yummy and fueled the energy back into my body. “I gave Matt the key so he can get our stuff. He said there was a huge line and that’s what took so long.”
“Is he taking you two home?” Nathan asked, rising to his feet.
I nodded with the straw still in my mouth and thought I saw disapproval in his eyes.
“Yeah, why?” Carrie asked, sounding defensive.
He shrugged. “Just wondering.”
“Thanks for getting me this.” I lifted the cup to Carrie, as if I was toasting her.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled. “You look a lot better.”
I stuck the straw back in my mouth and moved it around, making loud sucking noises as it grabbed every last drop. With a satisfied look, Carrie threw the container in the trash.
“I was thinking maybe I should stay at your house tonight,” she told me.
Nathan’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t your parents home?”
I opened my mouth to answer him, but Carrie beat me to it.
“Paige’s father is dead, and her mom’s job takes her away from home. So to answer your question … No, Paige’s parent is not home, but she has a gun and is not afraid to use it.”
“Carrie!” I exclaimed, shocked at her behavior. What the hell was her problem?
“Are you mad at me?” Nathan asked Carrie while I looked at him and thought about how tall he was. He had to be six-foot one, putting him a couple inches taller than Matt.
“No,” Carrie said. “It’s just Matt is in a bad mood because he’s pissed off at you.”
“Um, Carrie, I hate to tell you this, but Matt was pissed off earlier too,” I said. “He’s been moody all day.” I stole a glimpse at Nathan. He had his arms tight across his chest, appearing deep in thought.
God, he was frickin’ cute.
I rubbed my forehead, silently telling myself to quit thinking those thoughts. Yeah, Nathan was totally hot, but drooling over him wasn’t cool. Besides, he could do way better than me.
She jerked her head back, her forehead creasing. “I don’t remember him being moody.”
“Well, when we were having coffee earlier, before you showed up, he got mad at me, and on the way here he was irritated with his stereo.”
“Why would he be mad at you?” Nathan asked in alarm.
“Because I wouldn’t tell him what I was thinking,” I replied, not wanting to say the real reason. I looked away, self-conscious about what I truly was. A freak of nature.
Right then, Matt walked in with our stuff in his arms, and my ears squealed in a high-pitched ringing sound again. Standing up, I jabbed a finger in my right ear and wiggled it.
Nathan moved to my side as Matt and I exchanged looks. For the first time since I woke up, I thought about Matt’s eyes. He raised his hand, and I thought maybe what I’d seen was an illusion created by the lights in the club. That had to be it. I mean, nobody’s eyes could glow like that on their own, right?
“Are you okay?” Nathan asked.
“Yeah, my ears are ringing,” I said, catching the startled look on his face before he glanced away.
An overweight guy with black disheveled hair entered the room. His earlobes had round gages in them, and his chubby face was decorated with metal studs and hoops. He immediately came over to me, told me his name was Derek, the night supervisor, and asked how I was doing. Beads of sweat clung to his broad forehead, and I wondered if Carrie was right about him thinking I would sue him.
“I feel much better,” I told him, intentionally making my voice sound reassuring as I pulled my finger out of my ear.
“That’s good to hear,” he said with a nervous smile, and continued while Carrie handed me my stuff. “I have tickets I want to give you guys to see a band that’s going to be playing here in two weeks.” He retrieved four tickets from his back pocket and handed one to each of us.
“Which band is that?” Matt asked.
“Alchemy, and they kick ass.” Derek grinned. “They play techno-metal. And believe me, you guys are going to love them. I think they’re going to revolutionize the music industry.”
After we thanked Derek, we followed him out into the club down a long, narrow hall with black, round speakers poking out of the red walls. Nathan stayed by my side while we walked behind the three of them, his arm close to mine. I tried not to focus on that fact. Instead, my mind sank into deep thoughts about everything that happened tonight, including how weird it was a guy I hardly knew could stir feelings in me I’d never felt before. I even had felt an electrical charge between us, which made me wonder if he felt it too. Or if he felt anything at all. Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking this stuff. It all seemed so silly. Nutty even. But regardless of how premature my feelings were, I couldn’t stop my mind from wheeling over them.
Teenage hormones.
Yeah, that was it. That was my problem. It had to be. Not to mention, primordially speaking, I was at that ripe age to reproduce, and Nathan would be the perfect candidate for that. He was cute with a strong, powerful body–
I mentally shook myself, feeling ridiculous. What was wrong with me?
“Do you mind if I take you home?” Nathan asked, giving me a sideways glance, startling me out of my mental chatter. He was close enough to where I could hear him above the music. His voice sounded husky. “I know Carrie is going to spend the night, but Matt can take her to get her stuff and drop her off at your house.”
I thought about spending more time with him, and my pulse soared as if someone slammed my veins with a dose of liquid excitement. I pretended to ponder over his question while I told myself I needed to live a little and have some fun. I deserved that, right?
“Well, I usually don’t allow strangers to take me home, but you are an exception,” I said in a teasing tone of voice. I couldn’t help it. I had to flirt with him.
He bent his head down and peeked at me. “Is that a yes then?” He was totally flirting back.
I smiled and wondered if I was treading dangerous water to allow Nathan to affect me like this, but I felt too compelled by him to care. I nodded. When he mirrored my smile, I bit my bottom lip and looked away.
The club was still packed. Teenagers stood around in groups while others danced to the loud industrial music. Red and orange lights pulsed to the beat, flashing the dancers. I shifted my gaze to the juice bar on the far wall. There was a line, which told me Matt wasn’t lying to Carrie.
Craning my neck, I looked up at the platform. There were people sitting at the tables and others dancing next to the black railing. An image of a hooded guy jumping over the railing entered my mind. But the platform was too high for someone to do that without seriously hurting himself or dying for that matter. And who was that guy? How could he have jumped off the platform? Why did I have an out-of-body experience, and then passed o
ut? What was happening to me?
Once outside, Nathan hung back beside the club while I told Carrie and Matt about him taking me home. There were clubbers hanging outside the bars laughing and smoking. Their loud voices floated over to us from across the street, along with the music.
“Are you sure about this?” Matt’s distrustful eyes strayed over to Nathan.
I playfully slapped his arm. “Stop that. He’s a nice guy.”
“No, he’s not. He’s a dick!” he said, half-yelling.
For some reason his scornful words offended me, and I didn’t like the hateful look on his face. He didn’t even know Nathan and needed to get over his pissy mood.
I squared my shoulders and faced him. In my peripheral vision I saw Nathan watching us, taking a step forward. “He’s not a dick,” I said, glaring at him. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to piss you off.”
“Paige is right,” Carrie interceded. “Nathan was very sweet to her.”
“But you don’t even know him,” he argued. “And now you’re going to let him take you home?” He flung his hands up and blew out an exasperated sigh.
“He’s harmless, and I think he likes her.” Carrie winked at me and a burning sensation filled my cheeks. “And besides,” she continued, “you’re dropping me off at her house later, so I think she’s going to be fine.”
He raised his hands in defeat, his face twisted in annoyance. “All right, let’s go.” He grabbed her hand, spinning her around.
Carrie glanced over her shoulder at me and grinned.
“Have fun,” I said, knowing this was what she had hoped for.
“Matt is still pissed at me, huh?” Nathan asked, stepping beside me.
I shrugged. “He’ll get over it. He’s just being a brat.” More like an ass monkey.
As we walked to his car, I gazed at the dark sky. The bright stars reminded me of sparkling diamonds against black satin, and the yellow moon was equally beautiful with white, misty clouds skirting it. And while I marveled over its mystical wonder, an intense feeling of change came over me, the kind of change that transported Dorothy from a black and white world into a world of brilliant color. It was a bizarre, but undeniable feeling to say the least.
“Are you and Matt good friends?” Nathan asked, breaking the brief silence between us.
“Yeah, we are,” I said, “But when we were kids, we weren’t. He used to be mean and hateful, but then he moved to Seattle and moved back three months ago, now he’s like a totally different person.” I glanced at him. He appeared deep in thought, staring at the ground. “Why?”
“Did your ears ever ring like that before?”
“No, not until today.”
We stopped in front of a black extended cab Ford pickup. I turned to him in surprise.
“Is this yours?”
The corner of his mouth lifted (I loved how his mouth did that, like it was part of his persona). “It is. Why?” He opened the passenger door, and I hopped in. Sitting back, I pulled the seatbelt over me, clicking it into place, breathing in the smell of the soft leather seats. I loved the smell. It reminded me of my father’s leather jacket.
“You don’t seem like a truck person,” I told him when he slid behind the wheel.
“Why is that?” He paused. “Before you answer, I need to know where you live.”
“Oh, that would help.” Hot blood flooded my cheeks.
I gave him the directions to my house and said he seemed more like a 1965 Ford Mustang type, which impressed him since he used to own one. When he told me that, I shot him a weird look, like yeah, sure you did. I knew guys tend to lie about stuff like that in order to appear cool, but he sounded honest when he told me he really did own one, and he had the pictures to prove it. So when I asked him what happened to it, and he told me it got totaled in a car accident, I amazed myself that I actually believed him. I mean, if it were anybody else, I wouldn’t have. But I could tell he was being completely honest with me.
I thought how strange that was since I just met him, and I sat there mulling over it, while he continued to tell me he was more of a truck type of person anyway. He grew up on a farm in Missouri, and the pickup was sort of nostalgic to him.
“What was it like growing up on a farm?” I pictured him, all hot and sweaty (shirtless, of course), working out in the field and sighed at that pleasant vision.
“It was wonderful. I wish every kid could grow up that way.”
“Why is that?”
“Because it helps build confidence and teaches you self-reliance and endurance, and you learn so much about nature to where you feel a connection with it.” He looked at me like he wasn’t sure if he should continue. “I know this might sound a bit crazy, but it can be spiritual. Does that make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense,” I said, touched by his openness, realizing as I stared out the window into the darkness, how comfortable I felt around him.
A long silence fell between us, and the trees were getting thicker along the shoulder of the road. To my dissatisfaction, I’d soon be home. But I didn’t want to leave him yet and wondered if I’d ever see him again. I was enjoying his company and wanted to know more about him. I decided to ask another question in hope it would prolong my time with him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“How old are you?”
“I’m nineteen … How old are you?” His eyes held mine, and I looked away, ashamed to tell him because I didn’t want him to think of me as a kid. I decided to play it off like it was nothing.
“I’m seventeen, but in a couple months I’ll be eighteen.” We were approaching my house, and I pointed to it. “There’s my place.”
“I figured so,” he said in good humor. “There are only three houses in this little secluded area and one with a porch light on.”
He parked at the curb and turned the ignition off, which made my heart beat a little faster. Not because I feared he would harm me. If he wanted to do that, he would have done it already. I think it was the anxiety of him possibly blowing me off because of my age. But then again, if that were the case, he would have dropped me off and bailed. So maybe it was the anticipation of spending more time with him. Honestly, I didn’t really know.
He shifted in his seat, facing me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You got quiet all of a sudden. I thought maybe we could talk for a few more minutes. That is, if you don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind,” I said, wondering what he wanted to talk about.
“Can I ask what you were thinking about a minute ago?” His voice was soft and curious.
I glanced out the side window. The stray cat was sitting on the porch, looking in our direction. It looked like he nodded, as if prompting me to answer Nathan’s question. I blinked and shook my head, thinking I must be out of my mind. I turned to Nathan before my eyes played more tricks.
“I was wondering if my age bothers you.”
“Not at all,” he answered. “You’re going to be eighteen in a couple months anyway.” He looked down, then peered at me through his lashes. “Unless, your mom would mind.”
I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t mind my age. But he was so hot and could have anybody. Yeah, I’d been told I was hot, but whatever. The people who had said that, were horny teenage boys who would say anything to get in a girl’s pants. So just to see what he’d say I told him my mom wouldn’t mind, but she’d want to meet him.
“That’s fine.”
“So, you want to see me again?” I tried to sound indifferent and hoped I’d pulled it off, but really my insides were shaking.
He leaned forward; his eyes fixed on mine. When he spoke, his words were genuine and heartfelt. “Oh yes.” There was no doubt in those two words. My insides shook again, but not from nerves this time. He leaned back, his gaze still on mine. “When can I see you again?”
“Is tomorrow at two okay? We can go to the river walk and wa
lk along the waterfront.”
After the last word escaped my lips, I cringed inwardly at how eager I sounded. Great going, Paige. If you keep it up, he’s going to think you’re some desperate, psycho chick.
“Sounds good to me.” I think he smiled, but wasn’t sure because he stepped out of the pickup before I could catch his reaction. He opened my door, and I picked my purse off the floor, thanking him for the ride home.
The air had a thick rain smell to it, and sure enough, when we reached my front door, it started raining.
The stray cat had disappeared.
“What are you looking for?”
“Oh, sorry. I was looking for a stray cat that showed up at my house earlier. I saw him on the porch when we pulled up, but now he’s gone. I was wondering where he went.”
“Is today the first time you’ve seen him?” Nathan asked, a note of anxiety in his voice.
“Yeah. He was here when I got home this evening. I’m guessing someone didn’t want him.” I hated to think someone would do that, but whatever. I’d take care of him.
“What does he look like?” His troubled eyes latched onto mine, confusing me. I couldn’t understand why he’d get upset over a cat. It was a cat for God’s sake.
“He’s black and gray. Why?”
His face appeared tense now.
“What did the cat do when Matt and Carrie showed up?”
“Nothing really, except for he followed me to the edge of the lawn.” My eyebrows pulled together, and I couldn’t help but make a face. I mean, seriously. What was his problem? Why was he acting this way? “Why are you so interested in this cat?”
His gaze drifted to the ground, then back to me. “Just curious, that’s all,” he said, but yet he still had a troubled look on his face, and I knew he wasn’t telling me everything.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I pulled my keys out of my purse and unlocked the door. “Thanks again for everything,” I said, changing my expression to appear tired, to hide my disappointment in him not being up front with me.
He frowned. “Did I say something wrong?”
“I’m exhausted,” I said. “Carrie is going to be here soon anyway.”
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He paused beneath the edge of the roof, flipped his hood up, and went down the steps into the sheeting rain. He turned and lifted his hand in a bye gesture. Rain thumped on his hood, glancing off it.
I waved goodbye and dashed inside the house, more perplexed than I had been all night.
Chapter Three
Suspicion