My mind was whirling. Big time. I mean, seriously, tonight had to be like the weirdest night of my entire life. Not only did I have an out-of-body experience, but now I knew that was Nathan on the platform. But how did he jump off of it without hurting himself? It didn’t make sense. And Matt’s eyes totally freaked me out, but thankfully I found a logical explanation for it. But then came Nathan’s bizarre behavior regarding the cat. What was that all about?
I changed into my sweats as those thoughts and questions kept parading through my mind. Then the thought about me dying joined those thoughts like a freak joining a circus of other freaks, and I got caught in the memory of my first premonition. A memory I went to great lengths to avoid:
I was four-years-old, coloring a picture of The Little Mermaid at the table in our Spanish tile kitchen. I thought she looked like me except my long hair was darker, and my eyes were dark green instead of blue. I decided to turn her into me and ran into my father’s arms that night, clutching the picture in my hand and gave it to him. He hoisted me into his arms, kissed my cheek and told me he loved it.
And then I heard the voice say, “He’s going to leave you because he loves you, and it’s his choice.”
I leaned back and stared at my father’s smiling face, thinking he whispered those words into my ear, but then the voice repeated itself, terrifying me. I threw my arms around his neck and clung to him, crying not to leave me.
“What’s wrong with Paige?” Mom asked, rushing over to me while he rubbed my back, trying to calm me. I continued to cling to him, wrapping my legs tighter around his waist.
“I don’t know,” he said. He sat in the chair with me until I cried myself to sleep.
About a month later, a female police officer came to our house. The next thing I knew, Mom fell to the floor, sobbing, pounding the hardwood with her fists. I ran to her, not understanding what had happened. She crushed me to her chest and wailed my daddy was gone. At that very second, I thought about the voice and bawled. If my daddy truly loved me, he would have never left, but he chose to. The voice told me so. The voice that wouldn’t go away and now targeted me.
The memory snapped. My throat felt raw and stung with tears. I sat on the floor and cried in my hands. The premonition I’d had today was similar to my first one. It repeated itself and sounded dark and final. Granted, the one about my father didn’t directly speak about death, but it didn’t have to because I knew even at the age of four what it meant.
Gripping my bed, I pulled myself up. I thought about my father, and a sob coughed out of me. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. Carrie would to be here soon, and I didn’t want her to see me like this. I had to think this premonition through and stop thinking about my father. I told myself to get it together, and I was strong.
Back in my room, I dumped the clothes I had worn tonight into the laundry hamper and began dissecting my premonition. I remembered reading about dream interpretations. If you dreamed about death, it meant a change would occur in your life. Maybe my premonition meant change. I mean, after meeting Nathan, I knew my life would be different. And now that I thought about it, the message made complete sense because Nathan evoked feelings in me like no other. But the rest of the premonition didn’t though, and the feelings that had accompanied it were a blend of horror and sadness.
I didn’t know and was tired of analyzing it, so I thought about something fun. Nathan. But why did he act so strangely about the cat? My thoughts reverted back to his bizarre behavior. I went downstairs to wait for Carrie and took the orange and white afghan from the old wooden trunk in the living room. Sitting on the couch, I held it to my nose, breathing in the cedar smell, and wrapped it over my shoulders.
Maybe he was superstitious and saw the cat as an omen. But why wouldn’t he tell me? Unless, he didn’t want me to think of him as a weirdo. I guess I would have to ask him about it tomorrow.
It was getting late, and I thought maybe Carrie had changed her mind about staying over, but then I heard a loud rhythmic thumping noise outside. The windows began to vibrate, and I knew it was Matt playing the bass in his jeep too loud. I threw the afghan off and went to the door. I hated when he did that, but Carrie thought it was cool, which meant everything must have gone well tonight. I just wished he wouldn’t do it–I glanced at the clock on the wall–at one in the frickin’ morning.
When I opened the door, Carrie confronted me with a huge grin on her face. Beads of water were dripping off her hair from the rain, but she didn’t seem to care. She floated in with her backpack slung over her shoulder.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” she chirped. “But when we left my house, Matt and I went to the park and sat in his jeep and talked for a while.”
I took her coat and hung it in the closet next to the front door, and then I went to the bathroom to get her a towel. When I was back in the living room, she dropped her backpack and flopped on the couch, letting out a contented sigh.
I handed her the towel and sat next to her, covering us with the afghan, nudging her arm with my elbow. “So tell me what happened.”
She looked at me as she dried her hair, her face glowing. “He kissed me.” She bit her bottom lip and nodded when my mouth dropped in surprise. “In the park and before I got out of the jeep. The kiss was so awesome.”
“That’s great, Carrie!” I forced myself to sound enthusiastic and even hugged her, but all I could think about was what Tree had told me earlier. And truthfully, I’d rather see her with Tree. They totally belonged together. I knew it by the way they acted when they were together. But of course, I wasn’t going to tell her that. I knew Carrie well enough to know she would date whomever she wanted regardless of what other people said or thought. And even though we were best friends, I knew she wouldn’t listen to me either.
“Yeah. And let me tell ya”–she grabbed my arm–“the boy can kiss.” She let go and placed her fingers on her lips. She had a faraway look in her eyes, like she was reliving the moment.
I thought about Nathan and wondered what it would be like to kiss him. The very thought of his lips touching mine made me breathless. Was that how Matt made Carrie feel? I had to know.
“Tell me what happens when you’re around Matt and he touches you.”
Her eyes shifted to mine, and she let out a dramatic sigh. “I feel all giddy inside, like going to Disneyland.”
I made a face. “That’s a weird analogy.”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” she said, and then paused. “All I can say is, I have fun when I’m with him.”
“So, he excites you in the same way as an amusement park?” I tried not to sound patronizing and hoped she didn’t take it that way.
She smiled and nodded.
“Do you feel drawn to him, like there’s a magnetic energy?”
The corner of her mouth pulled down, and she touched it. “Hmm, kind of, I guess.” She thought about it some more. “But it’s more of a hyper kind of energy, like I know I’m going to have fun when I’m with him.”
I settled myself deeper into the plush brown cushions to get more comfortable.
“Okay, but what about when he touches you? How does it make your body feel?”
She stretched her arms out as she spoke and had a dreamy look on her face. “He makes my body all bubbly.”
I did my mental comparisons and realized what she felt for Matt wasn’t the same as how I felt for Nathan. But I’d just met Nathan, and Carrie and I have known Matt most of our lives. So how could I feel such strong emotions for a person I hardly knew and felt so comfortable around? How could that be possible? God, I was confused.
“What happened with Nathan? Did he kiss you?” She puckered her lips and made kissing sounds.
I frowned and shook my head.
“But he wanted to,” she said, like she knew something I didn’t know.
“How do you know?” My heart raced at the thought of Nathan wanting to kiss me.
“Because of the
way he looked at you.” She paused, and a slow smile crossed her face. “And I saw the way you looked at him.”
I knew she was right. At least, on my part, but I wasn’t sure if the feelings were mutual.
“But we just met, so how could that be? What if it’s my teenage hormones messing with me?” I thought I’d throw that one out there to see what she would say about my theory.
She snorted. “Teenage hormones. Good one, Paige.”
I snatched the towel from her and smacked her arm with it. She tried to grab it from me, but I threw it across the room. It bounced off the arm of the recliner and landed on the floor.
“I’m serious,” I said. “How else can you explain my feelings for a guy I hardly know?”
Her lips were quivering from trying not to laugh. When I rolled my eyes, she held a hand up and cleared her throat through the giggles that had escaped her lips.
“Sorry.” She took a deep breath. I glared at her, daring her to giggle again. “I’ll admit,” she continued, “Nathan is smoking hot. I mean, who wouldn’t want to tap that ass?” She made a tapping gesture with her fingers.
“Carrie!” My face was flaming.
She laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh with her.
“But honestly, Paige,” she said, shifting to serious mode, “there’s something between the two of you that has nothing to do with hormones.” She made air quotes. “I think you might be soulmates.”
Now I snorted. “Yeah, right. Why would you think that?”
“Because you’ve never acted this way toward another guy before.”
“But don’t you think that’s kind of weird?” I tried to find a logical explanation for how I felt toward Nathan and hoped she’d give me an answer other than soulmates. So lame.
“No, because the way I feel about it is you two might have just met here in the physical plane, but maybe your spirits”–she poked my chest–“have known each other for eternity.”
I blinked at her, stunned at this revelation of hers. The possibility of what she said made me want to jump for joy because I’d always thought I’d never be truly loved and even had resigned myself to a lonely existence. But to be honest, I was scared to believe it. I mean, how could someone truly love me? I was a freak of nature. And yeah, I knew there were people who had premonitions–blah, blah, blah. But their premonitions weren’t spoken to them or cryptic like mine was. And if I were to tell anybody about them, they’d throw me in a padded room. No thanks.
“What about Tree?” I blurted.
She looked down and fiddled with the afghan. “What about him?”
“You used to be crazy about him, and you two were getting close, but when Matt came into the picture all that changed. I mean, honestly, you really hurt Tree’s feelings tonight.”
“I didn’t mean to,” she said, her voice filled with regret. “I still care about him, but he tends to be too serious and right now I want to have fun.”
I nodded, suppressing a yawn. “I understand, but please think of Tree’s feelings and try not to blow him off. He is our best friend.”
“I will,” she promised, and we yawned together. “I think we should go to bed.”
Knowing this conversation about Tree was over, I pushed the afghan off us.
Carrie put the towel away while I checked the locks on the doors and turned off all the lights. And when I followed her upstairs into the spare bedroom, I told her I had a date with Nathan tomorrow.
“Are you serious?” she squealed.
I grinned and bobbed my head.
“See. I told you he likes you. And he’s so cute too,” she gushed. “You’ll have to give me all the details.”
“I will,” I said, still grinning.
She unzipped her backpack and pulled her flannel pajamas out. They were black with little pink skulls and cross bones all over. The skulls had bows on top of their heads. She headed to the bathroom, towing her stuff with her while I waited on the bed, wondering what tomorrow would be like with Nathan. I lifted my hand and touched my cheek where his finger had earlier, feeling an explosion of warmth inside my chest. What would it be like if he were to kiss me? My stomach did another silly flip.
“What time is your date tomorrow?” Carrie asked, now in her pajamas, interrupting my thoughts.
I breathed out, making an effort not to think about Nathan touching me. “He’s picking me up at two, and we’re going to the waterfront.”
She crawled in bed and slipped under the covers, peering at me with sleepy eyes and blinked hard. “That will be nice.” She yawned and closed her eyes.
I headed out the door, turning the light off. “Goodnight, Carrie, I’ll see you in the morning.” She looked like a little glow bug cocooned inside the brown comforter.
“Goodnight, Paige. Oh, by the way,” she said, already half asleep, “I think that stray cat has adopted you.”
I hesitated and turned around. “Wh-why is that?”
“Because he was at your front door when I got here.”
“What did he do?” I’m sounding like Nathan now.
“Nothing … Well, this is crazy, but it looked like he nodded at me, and then he let me by and left. I thought cats didn’t like water, but I guess the rain doesn’t bother this one.”
“Maybe,” I whispered and wondered if she would remember telling me this in the morning. Her words, “he let me by,” stood out in my mind like bright neon. Why would she word it that way? And the nodding thing, I didn’t know what to think. I went to my own bed and settled underneath the covers, but before I could think about it any further, I fell asleep.