***
Kathy tried to control her shaky hands as she took a group photo before my birthday bash. “Okay, get closer in, Paul.”
I noticed she didn’t yell at him, or call him a slob, as she normally would have. Her monstrous temper was now very mellow and calm. Her once loud yelling voice was now more of a raspy whisper. Her already thin frame was now ten times smaller. In addition, her hair was now thin and broke off with a simple touch. Most of the time, she turned to wigs. Ana said she looked like a cancer patient, but I insisted nothing was wrong with her. She was probably starving herself to get attention or all of her bad deeds had just caught up with her. Either way it was working; she was on every other tabloid cover.
“Okay um…I got the picture. Jason is not going?” she said as if she didn’t care. In all honesty, she didn’t seem to care about anything. She didn’t even seem to care much that I was getting married in a few weeks. To think of it, she never spoke of it.
“Oh, he will meet me there,” I said while shoving everyone out the door. “Bye Kat—,” I caught myself again. “Bye uh, mom.”
My birthday party was like nothing I had ever seen before. When I entered the hotel, there was piercing music playing, over sixty cameras flashing, and there had to be at least four hundred people there dancing.
“Do I even know all these people?” I said to Ana over the loud techno music.
“What?” She grabbed a drink off a tray and handed it to me. “Go party, girl. I know I will!” Ana bumped me with her hip and then ran off to a group of friends that just entered the building.
I felt overwhelmed by all the people; therefore, I headed upstairs before anyone spotted me. And to think, people thought I liked the attention. Yeah, right—that was the last thing I ever wanted. Ever since I could remember, I always tried to avoid the limelight, but Kathy always forced me to the center stage or it would be a beat to the skull if I thought about backing down.
Coming out of my dreadful daydreams, I searched for an elevator or a stairway. Whoever constructed the hotel had to be drunk, because the whole place was just an architect’s disaster. Ten minutes went by and I finally found a stairway to get to the second floor. As I got closer to the hotel rooms, the music tamed down. I could actually hear my thoughts again.
“Happy birthday, Lily!” A group of people shouted at me from down the hall.
“Thanks!” I said as I blew kisses and continued to walk searching for room fifty.
I gave up and waited by room sixty, thinking on where the room could be. I leaned against the wall and picked at the pink nail polish Ana insisted on me getting. Bored, I nodded my head to one of my favorite dance songs—
“Lily!” I knew that voice right away.
I skipped toward the stairway and peaked down. “Jason! Come here!”
He ran up the stairs to greet me. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered softly as he lifted me up and spun me around. With a smile, he handed me eighteen white lilies.
“Ooh!” I beamed.
“You like them?”
“Duh, I love it.”
“So why aren’t you partying it up? And why are we up here bored?” He put his arm around me and continued walking me to wherever I was going.
“Firstly, I’m very overwhelmed. Ana and Paul did way too much. And secondly, you can go party if you want, little diva, I’m fine. Also, I can’t find room fifty; that’s where all my stuff is.”
“Well, first stop being boring and second…yes we are divas,” he joked. “And room fifty is right here, silly.”
“Oh my god,” I jumped as I opened the room door where Paul said all my gifts would be. I couldn’t even see half the floor, which was covered in presents. I didn’t realize I was still holding the drink Ana had given me until it fell to the carpet. My eyes narrowed as the drink buzzed on the ground, not like soda but like something else…
“Dammit Lily!” Jason said. “Why’d you do that?”
“Sorry, I’ll clean it up real quick!” I tried to run to the bathroom but he grabbed my wrist. His strong hand nearly twisted mine backwards.
“No!” he said.
I had remembered the same face in France—chills ran down my spine of the thought. “Why?” I gasped.
“I’ll do it.”
“Uh…okay,” I shuddered and he released my wrist from his strong grip.
“I’ll get you something else, Lily. It’s your birthday,” he said as he ran to the bathroom. “Just go sit down.”
I sat on the bed for a minute and stared at the drink on the floor. It looks like something is in it. Maybe it’s alcohol or something. Why’d he want to clean it? Maybe he—
“Lily! Go downstairs and have fun. I’ll get you something, no worries,” he said from the bathroom.
“Uh, it’s okay. I’m not thirsty anymore!” I said as I opened the hotel door to leave. “I’m going to find Ana.” I rushed out the hotel room and ran downstairs as quick as I could in six-inch heels. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, straining my eyes searching for Ana over the crowd of dancing people. I spotted Ana and just as I was about to call out for her, someone pulled me back.
“Happy birthday!” shouted an unfamiliar voice behind me.
I turned around to see who was pulling me by the arm. “Oh my…Madison!”
Madison was an old friend of mine from early in my career, when we were barely doing commercials. Our parents used to be close friends, until typical Kathy stole her husband—but that’s another story.
She pulled me back up the stairs. “Gosh, come on, let’s talk.”
“I really need to go talk to someone,” I said. “I’m not trying to be rude—”
Ignoring me, Madison pulled me for a hug. “It’s been so long!”
“Um, I know, but—”
Ana was passing by and I grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “Ana, I need to talk to you,” I said still locked in Madison’s hug.
“Now?” she said as she sipped her drink.
“Yes, it’s about Jason.”
“Lily, I have to pee really bad. Can this wait?” Before I could reply, Ana went running up the stairs along with three other girls to the restroom.
Madison finally let me go and locked her arm in mine. “So, I heard you’re getting married soon?”
I sighed and continued walking up the stairs. “Yup, on the twenty-sixth.”
“You’re so young, though,” she said as I unlocked the hotel room door.
I slammed open the door, where Jason was stirring a drink—he jumped at us and we jumped at him.
“Oh,” Madison pouted at me. Either Jason being in the room caught her off guard or all the presents had frightened her. “Oh, hello!”
“Hey, Madison,” Jason said.
“You know each other?” I said.
“Uh, shockingly yes,” she said.
“Long story, Lily,” he said.
“You never told me you knew, Madison?” I said.
“You never told me you knew her either,” Jason smiled. “I’ll leave you two alone, then.” He handed me the drink and kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you downstairs.”
“I didn’t know you were marrying him,” Madison said as Jason left the room.
I nodded my head and sipped some of the drink that made my throat tingle.
“You okay?” she said as she took the drink away from me.
“Um…yeah,” I reassured her. “This drink is just really strong.”
“Are you sure you should be drinking that?” her eyes narrowed.
“Why do you say that?” I said.
A strident knock on the door scared us. “Oh my god, we’re going to cut the cake!” shouted Paul through the door.
“Already?” I checked the clock—it said 2:30am. I realized I spent my whole party doing nothing, but walking back and forth to the hotel room.
“I guess,” Madison shrugged as she pulled me to the door to go downstairs.
I began to blush when I heard everyone
singing ‘Happy Birthday’ already. When I got to the middle of the stairs, all the voices got low and all I could hear was one familiar voice.
“Daddy!” I ran down the stairs into his arms.
“Happy birthday dear my Munchkin, happy birthday to you,” he sang and kissed me. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
I only saw my dad, Frank, once every two years and people considered me “lucky” if he ever called me. He was a “busy musician” on the road. He still looked the same. His hair was still long and dark with spots of gray. His face had no facial hair and his green eyes were like diamonds that made all the girls blush.
All the makeup Ana spent two hours on was all gone once I started to cry.
“Aw,” the entire crowd said.
The crowd didn’t seem to bother me, as long as I didn’t look up. I didn’t hyperventilate but I did begin to breathe a bit heavy from the crying.
“Where is Leslie?” I whispered.
He ignored my question. “You need to cut the cake.” Frank picked me up like a baby and walked me over to the cake.
“Is this why Kathy didn’t come?” I said.
“Ha, maybe,” he chuckled as he stood me next to the cake. “Cut the cake Munchkin, we don’t have all day!”
Ana handed me a blue knife that matched my dress and cake. I smirked at her realizing why she wanted me to wear the blue dress. Then, I mesmerized the cake. It was like a wedding cake that only idiots like my family would waste money on for an eighteenth birthday. It was probably bigger than I was, and icing was melting onto the floor.
As I tried to cut the cake, my hands began to tremble. However, this time it was not because of me being nervous—I could not control it. I felt like how you feel when you drink too much caffeine or consume too much alcohol. I swallowed hard realizing something was going to happen in front of all these people. I lifted my head up to look at Ana, but all I saw was a blob of people gawking and laughing at me.
“Why are they laughing?” I whispered. Am I thinking this? I tilted my head like a baffled puppy, trying to read their faces. It was still a blur as if I needed glasses for impaired vision.
“Honey?” Frank waved his hands in front of my face, trying to gain my attention. “You okay?”
My respiration count began to speed up as the seconds went on. “What’s wrong with me?” I cried and then collapsed to the floor in pain.
I could hear people yelling for help around me and running around like there was a fire. I put my head between my knees and it felt like my body was floating on a cloud.