I was not fully awake but I could feel my bed shift as everyone yelled back and forth over me. I wouldn’t say I was fully out of it either. I felt like how you feel ten minutes before the alarm goes off for work, when you are aware of the environment but you could care less.
“This is your fault, Frank!” Kathy shouted over my bedside.
“Go to hell Kathy! This is your fault. Horrible, horrible mother, just horrible!” Frank yelled back.
“Hey! Stop you’ll wake her!” Jason said.
“Oh shut up!” Kathy said.
“Stop it,” I whispered.
“Look, Lily is up,” Paul said.
“Honey?” Frank patted my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“HONEY!” Kathy yelled as if she had to be the loudest. “Lily, tell me right now where you’re getting the drugs from!” She shook me and pointed at Paul. “Is this fat cookie boy giving you them?”
“No, I don’t…do drugs,” I said.
“Dammit Lily,” Frank said. “Then, what are they pumping out of your stomach, gummy bear juice? I DON’T THINK SO!”
“You’re an addict, honey.” Jason put his hand on mine. “You need help.”
Am I really an addict? Was I really doing drugs and didn’t remember? It’s possible! No that’s impossible! I would remember! I would have a drug dealer and everything.
“I told you, Kathy—not to put my baby in showbiz but you did anyway.” Frank slammed his hand on the bed. “Ooh Frank, it will be cute! She will be a star like me,” he imitated Kathy’s voice. “Dammit, now look at her…all intoxicated with Kathy-syndrome.”
I chuckled at Frank—he said the darndest things—gummy bear juice, Kathy-syndrome.
Frank pointed at me. “She’s a nut! She’s laughing and nothing is even happening.”
“I told you,” Kathy said. “She is ill, Frank. Honestly.”
“Then, why isn't she getting help?” Frank snapped.
“It's under control,” Paul said.
“Are you serious? Look at her!”
I narrowed my eyes and I could now see everyone’s curious faces. I noticed that Ana was also in the room behind Paul. She stayed quiet, probably wishing she were somewhere else.
“He’s not going to marry you because you’re a lunatic, Lily,” Frank said.
“What?” I said.
“No Sir, that’s not true. She is just ill,” Jason reassured him.
“Ill,” Frank smirked. “Druggie, that’s what I call them.”
“Dad!” I snapped.
“What?” he said.
“I’m not on drugs.”
With an ugly expression, Frank eyed the machine that pumped my stomach. “Really?”
“You come back in two years and all of a sudden you care?” I said.
“Exactly,” Kathy butted in.
“And Kat—mom, same for you. You act like you care, but you don’t either.”
“I do too care,” she said.
“No, you’re just here for good press. I know you’re going to go outside and tell the journalist I’m throwing a fit and going crazy, which I’m not.”
“No, I’m not,” she flipped her hair. “It’s been done for me. The whole fit you had at your party was all over the news.”
My eyes began to water at the fact—that was the last thing I had wanted—for the world to see me out of control. “And you’re happy?”
“Whatever, you’re eighteen now. The day you get married…goodbye—you won’t be missed.” Kathy walked out the hospital room and Frank followed her, yelling.
“Ignore her, honey,” Ana said.
“No, no, she’s right,” I kissed Jason’s hand. “I’ve been dreaming for my wedding day to come.”
“Remember, Ana…love with no endings,” I said as I stroked Jason’s hand.
“Hmm…I guess,” she said.
“Yeah,” I smiled and kissed Jason’s hand again. “Of all people you should be happy for me! I’m getting married soon!” I clapped my hands. “I mean, my maid of honor has to be at her best.”
“Really? I’ve never been a maid of honor before,” Ana said.
“Of course, you’re my maid of honor!”
Ana began to dance around the room. “We’re getting married! We’re getting married,” she sang in her annoying high-pitched voice again.
I closed my eyes while Ana and Paul danced around the hospital room. I couldn’t get the fact off my chest that something was wrong with me. I knew there was no way I could be a drug addict. I’ve watched many shows on the Discovery Channel about addicts and they all remember doing the drugs. So, that was out the question.
Then, I thought about Jason. I thought if I would end up like every other Hollywood couple.