Chapter 14 | Redemption
Jason’s plan: drive Lily nuts.
My Plan: to win.
“…Mental breakdowns…we all have them. Mine just got documented in the media.”
Paul and I were watching my first interview since my “breakdown” that I had done the day before. I had stuck to Paul’s plan. Deal with Jason until the birth of our baby. There was no secret to what Jason wanted to happen neither to me—nor to him. I was not afraid of Jason anymore because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me as long as I was pregnant. The fact that a therapist was watching our every move did not help his plans either. If the police were not going to put Jason away, then I was going to have to.
Paul and I had all the facts against him: the beatings, the drugs, and my money. We just had to wait it out. We knew he would be in prison soon—or maybe better—gone.
In November, Jason finally admitted he stole my money and told me he took it because he needed to pay for his taxes and that he was in major debt. He had said, “Lily, I had no choice! I know you wouldn’t give me the money so I had to take it. And Jerry, he is just my misunderstood brother. He’s no harm. But, I will pay you back…and I have no idea how that money got in my room. I promise…but we can spend that money.”
I wanted to murder him, but it was exactly what he wanted me to do—it was his plan—to go mad on him, so police would lock me up. However, I was smarter than he thought. I was always one-step ahead of him.
After his confession, Jason thought everything was back to normal again—that we were this big happy family. He even joined an anger management group and took up a business course at a local college. I still wasn't impressed.
On the other hand, I knew he was up to no good. I knew his plan, so I stayed under control. And thanks to me being in control of my medication, I was sane again—well to an extent.
“And what about your mother?” asked the news anchor.
“What, mother? I have no mother,” I said.
Paul paused the TV. “Ouch that was harsh don’t you think?”
“Nah, I doubt it.”
“Have you even spoken to Kathy?” Paul replayed the interview again on mute.
“Nope, I’m pretty sure she is living life up being a bitch.”
Honestly, I had not thought of Kathy since that time in the police station and the time Paul told me I really was schizophrenic. Her presence never came up to me. I could have cared less about her.
“Harsh,” he murmured.
“Uh, when is this baby going to come out, so I can take an axe and kill Jason,” I laughed.
“Really, huh,” Paul laughed louder.
“It’s even funnier because you think I’m joking, but I’m not,” I said as my face turned serious. “At first I wanted to put Jason in prison for life for what he done to me, but now I want to see his body in a grave.”
“You’re so funny!”
“No, I’m serious. I want to see him suffer; like I have been for the past year.”
I paused and realized how my life had changed in less than one year. How I went from an American sweetheart to an American psycho.
“Yeah, I want him to suffer,” I sang as I imagined standing over Jason’s grave; it brought a huge smile to my face.
Paul’s face got stiff and he got off the couch and went to the kitchen. “You know one symptom of schizophrenia is lack of emotion. Are you sure you have been taking your meds every day?”
“Lack of emotion? Don’t you see me smiling right now?”
“Because of evil.”
“Anyway, yes, I have been taking my pills. You know what Jason wants to do to me; I just have to do it to him first.”
Paul walked over to me and rubbed my shoulders. “Do what first?”
I smiled and Paul turned in the opposite direction. “You know what.”
“Lily, please stop; you’re scaring me now.”
“It’s all part of the plan.”
He sighed. “I really have to discuss some stuff with you—”
Jason came into the house, shutting Paul up—only if he knew my plans. Just two more months, honey.
“Lily?” Jason said.
“Jason,” I said.
“Look at what the nurse from the hospital got you.” Jason handed me a baby bag.
“That’s lovely.” I threw it on the floor in disgust. “Why don’t you be useful and get Paul and I some ice cream? I’m having a fat day, and want something sweet.”
“Um, okay,” he rolled his eyes and headed toward the door.
I threw him some money. “Or were you intending on stealing my money out my wallet?”
“Funny,” he gave me the middle finger and left out the door.
“You’re pushing his buttons, Lily,” Paul whined and sat next to me.
I rolled my eyes. “So? He’s pushing mine too. You don’t think I have buttons that are being pushed?”
“He’s going to snap and hurt you. You have no idea what he is thinking. Do you know what he is capable of?” he patted my stomach. “We already know what he is capable of. He could kill you.”
“Do you know what I’m capable of?” I said as I pushed him away.
“No…what?”
“Murder.”
Paul’s shoulders stiffened. “You’re…not…not…not serious…are you?”
I winked.
“You’re no better than him if you are seriously considering that! I swear, Lily, you’re getting more crazier as the days go by. Are you sure you’re taking your medication?”
“Boo-who, Paul! I’m just doing what you said; giving him some of his own medicine. But, he’s not going to suffer if you don’t want him too. I promise,” I smiled. “Although I would prefer for him to suffer as I have been.”
“You’re mad! I’m starting to believe you really are nuts…wait a minute, you are nuts…there are doctor papers to prove it,” Paul snapped. “Take your medication, NOW!”
“How dare you!” I grabbed Paul’s love handles and twisted it.
“Ouch!” Paul pushed me in the chest and jumped off the couch. “Lily, you’re pregnant…don’t act stupid!”
“Bring it, fat ass!”
“You’re acting just like your mother! Or even worse, you’re acting like a lunatic. The old Lily I knew would never dare say they would kill someone.”
“The old Lily was weak. You even said I was a coward.”
“Well, killing someone won’t make you less of one.”
“At least I have balls now. The old Lily would never think like me.”
“I don’t know what’s more pathetic—the fact that I helped you put facts together about Jason or the fact that I was going to help you put him in prison. I would have never considered murdering Jason.”
I laughed, mocking him. “Just leave then.”
“You guys are meant to be with each other—Mr. Crazy and Mrs. Crazier!” Paul stomped to the door, rubbing his fat I squeezed.
“Just leave!” I threw my keys at his back.
“Burn in hell, Lily!” He slammed the door so hard it knocked a picture frame off the wall.
I smiled.