The remaining weeks leading up to my due date was like a rock on the edge of a cliff—tension. Jason can say I was the reason his hair was thinning or maybe him always pulling at it when he got mad. My life was like the rock and his anger was the wind waiting to let out the best blow. Love/hate was an understatement when it came to our relationship. It’s funny how someone can go from love to hate so fast. The love has to remain somewhere, right? But, where does it go if you cannot pull it away from anywhere?
“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out,” Kelly said.
“SHUT UP!” I shouted so loud I am sure the entire medical staff heard me. “Just take the damn baby out of me!”
“Okay, Mrs. Lawson, we will as soon as possible. We will call your husband for you.”
“Forget my husband! If he’s not here the better. I don’t need him here.”
“Okay, okay, okay.”
“Hurry up, I’m in pain!” I cried. “Just HURRY!”
“Doctor?” Kelly screamed. “We need a doctor!”
The baby was coming sooner than expected. It caught me off guard when I was on the couch watching TV and I had felt warm water go down my legs. I read that some people like to labor at home, so that's what I did for seven hours. No one was home so I drove myself to the ER.
A part of me really wished Kathy were there with me, holding my hand. She would have been so proud. Probably crying—tears of joy. A part of me wished someone were there—even Jason.
“Where are the meds? I need meds!” I cried. “Where is it?”
“No, no Miss. It’s too late for those,” the doctor said. “It will be a breeze.”
“Too late? Is that even possible?” I cried.
“Sorry, but this baby wants out, now!”
I think I blanked out after he told me that. I do not even remember half the labor. I could not handle the pain. I could just remember the doctors asking for Jason ever two seconds. He never showed—not that I expected him to show up. He was probably at home planning my deathbed—I would if I were him.
“It’s a boy!” Kelly said over the baby crying.
“A boy? A boy!” Jason’s scream awoke me from my black out.
What is he doing here? He was not here a second ago. I came back to reality as I watched Jason take over fifty photos of the baby. He looked content. Happier than any fake dad on a TV sitcom could be. That Jason could do no wrong. He would not hurt me, not even a fly. I felt like smiling...it felt like love.
“He’s healthy,” Kelly whispered in my ear.
“Get me water,” I hyperventilated.
“Simon. His name is Simon,” Jason said. “What do you think?”
I did not respond to him. I just nodded and closed my eyes, waiting for my water.