“I can when it contains my mother!”
“Come on. Let’s go decorate. You can whine downstairs. Maybe Larry can get you some cheese and a violin.”
“You’re unbelievable. You’re nothing but an ardent feminist,” Blake countered from behind.
“Whaaaat?” I rasped, looking over my shoulder, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ardent feminist? I wasn’t a feminist. I just didn’t like men and Blake was at the top of the list. Although I have to say, I liked him a lot more around his mother. She was the first person I watched put him in his place. I loved Grace. Like really, really loved Grace.
We had a blast decorating the tables with pink and purple balloons and plates. Pea loved Grace too. That made me happy. Very happy. I was beginning to think nobody loved her, not like I did anyway. Grace did. She doted over that little girl like nothing else mattered. I knew exactly how she felt, it changed my entire mood, I was floating on a cloud. Now if we could just get her uptight dad on board.
I watched Blake walk around with one finger in his ear while he tended to business. If his phone wasn’t stuck to his ear, his thumbs were stuck to the screen.
“I swear I didn’t raise him like that,” Grace assured me, pulling my disappointed gaze from Blake. My plan of him having so much fun with Pea dissipated with every minute. He didn’t laugh when she tried to blow the balloon. His eyes didn’t shine when her mouth formed a perfect O and she squealed. He didn’t care at all how happy that simple little cake made her. Blake cared about the golf game and what the rich bastard was saying to Ryan.
“Now you see why I can’t be around him?”
“For sure,” I said, placing a bright purple fork on the place setting, “But how do you stay away from her,” I nodded, to Pea, carefully placing each pink napkin by the cardboard plates. One by one, she struggled with clumsy fingers to get them perfect.
“It’s either that or kill him. He does some of the stupidest things, and then gets mad at me for meddling. What’s a mother to do?”
“You could go over there and toss his phone in the pool.”
“I would be on the next plane back to Tennessee. He’d probably drown me.”
I laughed, but knew she was right. I shook my head, looking to Blake when he answered another call. “Here, Pea. You take the forks. I’m going to go punch your daddy in the belly.”
Pea giggled, liking the idea of me doing that to her daddy. I stood right in front of him and crossed my arms. Eyebrows raised, I tapped my flip-flop toe.
“Okay, I’ve got to go. Ask him about investing in Vegas. He’s from there.”
I dropped my arms and yelled at Blake, “Are you serious? Why don’t you just go? You’re there anyway.”
“I told you I didn’t have time for this.”
“Fine. Go, Blake. We don’t need you here, but the deals off. You can either find someone else to fulfil your fantasy—,”
“One, it’s not a fantasy, it’s a time management thing. Two, we had a deal; you’re not reneging now, not after pulling this shit. I still can’t believe you called my mom.”
“I don’t get it, Blake. I love her. Why isn’t she part of your life?”
“She is. Twice a year is enough.”
“That’s not even enough for Pea to know who she is.”
“My. Daughter’s. Name. Is. London. Can you understand that?” Blake asked in an infuriated tone through a clinched jaw. Geesh. Did he hate me that much? Did he?
“Whatever. Come on. Let’s blowup some balloons.”
That task lasted for two balloons. He had to answer a quick email. I shrugged at Grace when she looked to him thwarted too. Blake was a hopeless case.
Fifteen
Pea squealed, holding onto a branch while she pretended to be swept away by a tidal wave. I laughed at her and glanced up the river. Jumping up, I jumped in my clothes. A whole slew of rafters drifted toward us.
“Pea, come on. Get out. Someone’s coming,” I loud whispered. I squeezed her head through the shirt and her feet through her shorts before she even hit the bank. Grabbing our things we dashed off into the weeds and waited. It was just a bunch of campers, floating down stream. Two young couples.
Pea sat between my legs while we waited for the drifters to pass, “Maybe they’re pirates,” she whispered.
“Shhh,” I said, hushing her. They were just a bunch of kids, but I still didn’t want to explain what we were doing in the middle of the forest. We had to be miles away by now. Unfortunate for them, they liked our swimming hole too. Silently, we watched the lovebirds play in the water, jumping from the same tree Pea had been jumping from.
I covered Pea’s eyes once when one of the girls wrapped her legs around one of the guys and kissed him. Not just a peck. This was a full blown, humping, passionate kind of kiss. Jesus. I thought for a second they were going to do it right there.
“Come on, Jake. Get the tubes. Let’s go find this cave,” the other boy called, retrieving backpacks and hiking gear, “You can fuck her later, maybe in the cave.”
UGH!
I couldn’t cover her ears and eyes. The girl let him go and they helped with the tied gear. Feeling Pea’s body tense against mine, I squeezed her arm a bit, beckoning her to be still. The girls tossed the two empty tubes to the weeds, right in front of us. My heart stilled when my breathing stopped. They stood right there, right in plain sight and chatted about the adventure.
I felt a hint of unknown nostalgia, listening to them. You could tell they were best friends. My friend Karen and I would have been close like that, I think. We didn’t hang around with each other much after our first round of cancer. I don’t think she could handle all the sickness, and then we lost contact once I started home schooling.
Wheels spun in my head while I kept a grip on Pea, willing her to be very still. One of the boys tossed the third tube into the weeds and they all loaded up. I don’t know why I cared if they knew we were there. They were in a restricted part of the forest too and I doubted they were on the lookout for a kidnapped little girl.
I let out the breath I had been holding when the group set out to find a cave.
“I was scared,” Pea whispered.
“Why? We’re bigger than them. We’d beat them up. Hey, Pea, what do you say we borrow one of their tubes? You feel like a lazy day on the river?”
“Uh, yeah.”
We sort of borrowed a nice big plastic bag too. It held our belongings quite nicely, and kept them dry. I didn’t leave them empty handed. My trash bag was tucked below one of the tubes.
“This is so fun!” Pea exclaimed ten feet into our trip. She straddled the tube and bounced up and down and I lay across it on my stomach. The smile was inescapable. The sun was hot, the water was cool, and the views were tranquil. Everything around us was calm and peaceful.
By two in the afternoon Pea had a full belly and was yawning. She scooted to her side of the tube and I raised her arm. We floated lazily, letting our hands run across the current in the clear river.
“Where are we going to be on my birthday?” Pea wondered.
“Why are you so worried about your birthday? It’s three months away. You trying to grow up on me? You know you’re going to have to go to kindergarten now, right?” I teased.
“Well, what if my dad can’t find me.”
“Honey, daddy can’t be here for this birthday,” I reminded her.
“You said Christmas.”
“Yeah, but your birthday is before Christmas. Three Christmas’s and three birthdays.”
“And Easter too?”
“Yeah, Easter too,” I said, kissing her head. Poor kid.
Pea yawned again and lifted her hand from the water. I guided us along the slow moving water and she napped. My vision was surrounded by the Sawtooth Mountains to my west, White Cloud Mountains to my east, Salmon River Mountains to my north, and Boulder and Smoky Mountains to the south. Absolutely amazing. God’s country. Even with not knowing what I was doing, I felt a peace lik
e no other. Like it was all going to work out. Maybe it would. Maybe it wouldn’t. But at that very moment, I didn’t care. The tube drifted with a lethargic flow and my mind drifted to Blake and the birthday party.
***
Blake was no better at the party than when he helped decorate. Ryan was back from his golf game and came too, but not for the party.
“Why is Larry here?” Blake asked watching our first guest arrive with a present.
“Pea invited him. What’s he doing here? He wasn’t invited,” I said looking around him to glare at Ryan.
“What the hell is the maid doing here?” Blake asked, ignoring my question. I looked at his puzzled expression and to Juanita. Ahh she crocheted her bear. How sweet. My lips just started to reply when Blake answered his own question, “Let me guess. Pea invited her?”
“Yes, and you just called her Pea, just pointing that out,” I boasted proudly with a smile.
“That’s because I was mocking you. You were about to say that exact same thing.”
I snorted and left Blake to sit in the shade with Ryan. They worked. Imagine that. I didn’t let it bother me. It was Pea’s day and she was having a blast, trying her best to break the candy from the piñata. Larry secretly directed the homemade piñata to the front of the plastic bat. Evidently we used too much newspaper. That was another mess. YouTube made it look way easier than it was. Larry ended up shoving a pocketknife through the side of our homemade piñata to get the candy to fall to the ground.
I marched right up to Blake when Grace started the next fun game, “Are you serious? Stop working. Get over there and have fun with Pea,” I ordered.
“What do you mean?” He asked puzzled. The guy really had no clue. He thought it was normal to work through the entire birthday party.
“I mean let’s go play pin the tail on the donkey. Stop talking on your phone, stop talking to Ryan and pay attention to Pea.”
“I’m not playing games.”
“Fine, neither am I.”
“Wh—what do you mean?”
“Figure it out,” I threatened, glared at him, then Ryan, before stomping off to play with Pea. Less than two minutes later I watched Ryan leave. Blake held up one finger, telling me he was coming. He wasn’t happy about it, but he was going to sacrifice for me, or my body anyway.
Pea went first and pinned her sticky tail to the donkey’s nose. She giggled like it was the funniest thing on earth.
“Who do you want to go next, Pea?” Grace asked.
Blake finally joined with a complaint, “Mom, seriously? Not you too. Her name isn’t Pea.”
“I want Mikki!” Pea exclaimed. I squatted and let her place the cheap blindfold over my eyes. She giggled just as hard when I made the donkey a nice long bellybutton, only that’s not what it looked like at all.
“Got something on your mind, Makayla? Remind me later how much I like you in that blindfold.”
“Shut up. It’s your turn.”
“No. I’m good.”
“No… You’re not,” I assured him, placing the blindfold over his eyes. I followed the rules the way Grace and Pea had and spun him three times, before facing him to the traditional birthday game. The jerk pinned his tail precisely to the correct spot. Showoff.
Blake boasted and cockily flipped the mask off.
“You wind a pwize, Daddy,” Pea exclaimed, running to the prize box. Blake was showing off his, ‘tail pinning’ abilities to me when she pulled on the tail of his jacket. That was the first time I ever saw him squat to her level. His face looked bewildered briefly when she fumbled with three year old fingers. He started to help slide the silly bracelet over his hand when she stopped.
“It’s a giraffe. See?” She explained, placing it flat to the floor and then back to his fingers. Blake helped slide it over his hand and smiled at her. I wanted to spat something off about how undeserving he was of that, but refrained. The change of expression on his face led my eyes to where his were. Farrah was entering the patio area with a hat as big as an umbrella and sunglasses the size of pop cans. The fancy attire she was wearing led me to believe she was on her way somewhere else. I hoped anyway. Surely the woman didn’t have to keep up with that look on a daily basis. How exhausting.
“Why is Farrah here?” My raised eyebrows let him know that Pea invited her. “You’re in so much trouble.”
“Why? You would know all of this if you put that phone down long enough to listen. I tried to tell you all about the party. You didn’t care.”
“Farrah, glad you could make it,” Blake said, kissing the air to each of her cheeks. Give me a break. She plopped her fancy wrapped gift to my arms and commenced to speaking with Blake. Blake forgot I was there as soon as he started kissing her ass. I rolled my eyes and walked away. I needed to get the matches for the candles anyway. What on earth did he ever see in that girl? Yuck.
Watching over my shoulder, I walked inside to retrieve the matches. I stopped at the door and observed the repulsive female. Even the way she stood looked like it hurt. Why would you wear shoes that made your ankles bend that much? That couldn’t be good for you. The hag never even acknowledged Pea.
“Wretched, isn’t she?” Grace questioned, shaking her head and clicking her tongue.
“How could he love someone like that?”
“Oh, I don’t think it had anything to do with love at all.”
“I’m not surprised. He probably had to be drunk for the warmth. I imagine jumping on something like that would be a pretty cold ride,” I gasped and covered my mouth, “I’m sorry,” I apologized. Shit. This was her son. Gah!
Grace laughed a full on throw your head back laugh. Thank God. Jesus, Mikki. “I’m going to get the matches, before I shove the other foot in my mouth.”
Grace stopped my escaping by placing her hand on my forearm. Her demeanor changed and she got serious. Very serious. “You don’t know how happy I am to see Pea like this. I know I have you to thank for that. She’s so happy.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. She makes me happier than I make her I’m sure.”
“I don’t know. I was really worried about her. Do you know what I keep thinking about?” Grace excitedly asked. I shook my head and smiled as she answered, “She can video conference with me now. Will you help her do that? I’m not kidding, Mikki, the last argument that Blake and I had was over her talking. I knew she should have been saying more. I was here, oh, maybe four months ago and she looked at me like I was a crazy person. Like she didn’t understand.”
“That’s because she was trying to understand two languages, not that anyone but the last nanny talked to her or anything,” I added for punch.
“I know! I never thought about that. It never dawned on me that she was having a hard time understanding.”
I laughed, “You should have seen me the first time she asked for a bebida. I had no clue what she wanted. I gave her bread.”
“Bebida? Tell me, just in case,” she teased. I loved Grace. Why didn’t Blake love Grace? I didn’t get it.
“Drink, I’m going to get the matches.”
I stopped just inside the door, accidentally listening to Ryan’s phone conversation. He was badmouthing Blake to someone. Zazen, I presumed. He was telling him how Blake had stood up this Drew Kelly guy that morning and how they were supposed to be finding investors for this new hotel in Hollywood. He complained about Blake letting Mr. Kelly slip through the cracks. I cleared my throat and walked past him. I wanted him to know I heard. Dick. What kind of friend does that? He was probably trying to move in on his position. I didn’t know exactly what his relationship was with Holden, but I had a pretty good feeling that CEO was as high as you could go. Did anyone in this Godforsaken city know how important family was?
Ryan eyed me with distaste while I strutted right past him. She was three for Christ’s sake. I retrieved the matches and promised Veronica and Michelle we would bring them back cake. They couldn’t get away from the front desk, but they had presen
ts for Pea they wanted to give her.
To no surprise to anyone, Farrah stuck around long enough for Pea to open a beautiful china doll. What the hell was she going to do with a glass doll? Farrah gasped when Pea tried to take the delicate doll from the elegant box.
“It’s not to play with. You can only look at it,” Farrah explained, standing above Pea. She spoke loud and slow. Really? I had to walk away when the drain to my filter opened. I literally bit into my bottom lip to keep from informing her that her daughter wasn’t deaf, nor was she dumb. I was glad she was leaving. The air was thick with her there. Even Pea looked up at her like she was the dumb one.
“You must have been on crack,” I questioned Blake while the ice princess patted Pea on the head and walked away, “Stand over there, you’re disrupting my aura.”
“I’m keeping this blindfold, just so you know. Stop thinking you know anything about me.”
“Whatever, Oh, she’s opening my gift! Come on,” I coxed, forcing Blake to be involved. The first one of my gifts was from my heart. That’s the one she opened first. It was a half a heart on a silver chain and it almost fit perfect with mine. Pea did that cute little O thing with her lips. She was more excited about my thirty dollar necklace than she was that gorgeous thousand dollar doll. The one she couldn’t touch. I squatted and pulled my necklace from my neck.
“Them match,” she smiled, holding hers to mine. They did match. All but the bottom edge lined up flawlessly. It didn’t matter if they didn’t come together. They fit close enough to perfect for me. Just like me and Pea, it didn’t matter where we came from. We fit.
My next gift was the big hit. Well, Blake’s was.
“From Daddy,” Grace said, reading the card. Blake looked at me with surprise and then guilt.
“No worries, I’ve got your back,” I winked. I didn’t mean for it to be a flirty wink. I meant for it to be a smartass, you suck, wink. The way his eyes softened and his smile told me he read it differently. Shucks.
“Thank you,” he said, turning back to Pea. She stood on the chair and ripped Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle paper to the floor. She liked the boy cartoon. What can I say? “What is it?” he whispered.