“Okay,” she offered, pulling both her dates by their hand, leading them to the service elevator in the back. One time of watching the big machine smash cardboard was all it took for her to know how to get back there. Smarty pants.
Leo had to come and get me after I walked to the door three times only to turn around. Ugh. What did he want?
“Will you just get in there? He can’t kill you. I’m a witness. What the hell did you do to warrant a visit with Zazen?”
“Is Blake with him?”
“No, but you better get in there. You’re fifteen minutes late and he keeps checking his watch.”
“I can’t. Come with me,” I whined while being dragged into the fancy dining room. Once I was across that threshold, I straightened my posture and smoothed my skirt. I wasn’t as dressed up as I was the first time I ran into him, but I did know enough not to go in there in the shorts I had on to begin with. My long flowing skirt with a nice knit top was fine for lunch; to me anyway. Holden and his ten piece suit may have disagreed.
“Can I get you anything, Sir?” Leo nodded to Holden while pulling my chair out. Barry Holden studied me with narrowed eyes and answered Leo.
“Yes. Get me a Scotch on the rocks.”
“Me too,” I said, feeling like I was going to need it.
Leo walked off and Barry Holden held his narrowed eyes on me. I stared back not knowing what to say. “What do you want?” he finally asked.
“To eat?” I asked with a nervous laugh. Shit. What the hell was I supposed to say? What did I want?
“That too,” he smiled. I saw it. I watched the curl in his lip and his face softened, but just for a half a second. “Why are you here?”
“I’m taking care of Pea.”
“Who?”
“Oh, London.”
“That’s not why you are here. It’s not a coincidence that you are working for the CEO of Zazen Resorts. You want money?”
“Seriously?” I asked, moving my hands for my drink. I sipped the Scotch and frowned.
“Can I get you anything else?”
“Yuck. Can you bring me what I had yesterday?” I asked. I didn’t like Scotch. Who could drink that stuff? Gross. My intestines were burning trying to digest the poison.
“If it’s not my money you’re after, why are you following me?”
“I’m not following you.”
“You weren’t sitting at that bar to spy on me yesterday?” Holden nodded.
“No. I mean sort of. I don’t know. I don’t know what I am doing here, but I swear it wasn’t planned.”
“You’re a liar. You knew Blake worked for me, didn’t you?”
“Well yeah, but I didn’t mean to end up here with him.”
“You’re making no sense. Does your mother know you’re here?”
“Oh, I’m sure she does.”
“How is she?”
“I came to you for help that day. You were mean to me.”
“What did you expect? You came at me like you hated me, like I was ruining your life and I didn’t even know about you.”
“I didn’t mean to come off like that. I was desperate.”
“You wanted money. Your mother sent you to extort money from me and I was pissed. Besides, you came at a very bad time.”
“Yeah, I know. You were opening a new hotel in downtown Chicago. You hurt a lot of people by kicking out the food pantry. A lot of people depended on it for a hot meal.”
“I paid to move it to another side of town, away from my hotel.”
“And that makes it okay doesn’t it Mr. Holden?”
“Zazen,” he corrected.
I don’t know what was happening, but a surge of anger shot through me like I’d never seen and I wasn’t intimidated anymore. Was this guy for real? Seriously?
“It must be nice to be able to change your name to some successful rich guy and forget about what really matters. What is wrong with you people? Take the blinders off. It’s people like you who have made this country so vile and evil.”
“Ha, because I shut down a free meal for a bunch of druggies?”
“No. Because you shut down a free meal for people like me and my mom. People who didn’t have any more money,” I took a long drink of the much better alcohol, “You moved it too far for me to walk and bring my mom a hot meal.”
“You expect me to believe that? I didn’t know your mom all that well, but when I met her she was twenty, thriving in nursing school and playing the piano where she made very good tips. I know your mother enough to know she would never be serving her daughter a hot meal from a soup kitchen. What’d she do, get messed up on drugs? She’s a nurse, right? What was it, prescription drugs?
I studied the ignorance on his face. I could see how my mom could fall for him. He was handsome for an older dude, but the fine wrinkles in the corner of his eyes didn’t remind me of wisdom. They reminded me of how unaware he was. He was just like Blake. He saw green and dollar signs.
“You know what? You’re right. I came here wanting something from you. I don’t know what, but it definitely wasn’t your money. I knew who Blake was the day that I ran into him on the sidewalk, and you’re right. I did use him to get to you. I just didn’t know what for. I was angry and my first thought was to come here and shoot you right between the eyes,” I animatedly explained, closing one eye and clicking my tongue with the jerk of my trigger finger. Holy shit. I was crazy. His wide eyes thought the same thing.
“And now?”
“Now? I guess I don’t want anything from you, but I don’t want you to ruin this for me. I’m happy here and I am earning my own money, taking care of Pea. If you tell Blake who I am he will fire me. He’ll think I am using him to get to you.”
“You were.”
“But not anymore.”
“What if I want more? What if I want to know you?”
That took me off guard and sort of pissed me off, “You didn’t care when I came to you at fifteen. I didn’t do that because I wanted to. I did it because my mother made me.”
“Did she put you up to this? Do you need college money or something? I can get you a scholarship. I give them out every year.”
“How noble of you. I don’t want your scholarship. I don’t want anything from you. Let’s just pretend this meeting never happened and we don’t know each other.”
“You came all this way to cower out. Where’s your mom?”
I mixed my drink in a swirl, tipped it to my lips and downed it, “I guess I did. Have a nice life Mr. Holden. Maybe someday you’ll be able to open your eyes and really see. I’ll see you around.” I stood and walked away and Holden let me go.
If Barry Holden mentioned anything about me or our luncheon, Blake never revealed it. Just when I thought Blake was turning around, he proved me wrong. Blake disappeared when my period appeared. Five days. That’s how many days went by before we saw him again. He was up and gone before we rose, and came home after we passed out. Pea had even started running to the door when he got home, and just like that, he forgets all about her. At least I knew he was still blind, old habits die hard, but they’re not undefeatable.
I opened my eyes and looked up to Blake. My arms were above my head in and awkward position and I didn’t even know my legs would bend that far. Pea assured me that they would. She directed them there.
“What the hell are you doing?” Blake asked, pulling the dart from my forehead.
“I’m dead,” I said, jerking the Nerf bullet from his hand. I licked the rubber part and stuck it back where Pea shot me, “Did you forget where you lived?”
“No, I just thought I would take advantage of the situation and get some work done. Are you done?”
“Don’t move,” Pea ordered. I jumped up and scooted behind her on my butt.
“Hold me back, Pea,” I begged, moving her arm in front of me while I told Blake how stupid he was with my eyes, “I’d put my hands up if I were you,” I warned.
Blake frowned and Pea shot him
. It wasn’t right between the eyes like I was hoping, but at least the bastard was dead.
“Him didn’t get dead,” Pea sadly informed me with a pout.
“Some people never learn. You may need to shoot him about twenty more times. Come on, you’re going to bathtub jail.”
“Oh man, I hate jail,” she whined with so much conviction. You would have thought she’d been there a hundred times. I tossed her over my shoulder and a mean frown toward her dad turned upside down. She was so funny sometimes.
Twenty Two
“I’ll bathe her,” Blake said from the door.
I wanted to blurt out what an ass he was and ask him why, but I already knew the answer. I was the one who gave him the impression that all he had to do was give up a few minutes of his time to pay attention to Pea. What the hell was wrong with me? My mother would be so proud. I didn’t say a word, I removed myself from the bathroom floor and walked around him with a glare.
“Fine, go ahead. I’ll just go down stairs and shave my legs.”
“I shave too,” Pea called from the bubbles.
I gave him his space with Pea. After all that was the name of the game, right? I didn’t take great care in my appearance that night, I didn’t give a shit. A quick drive by on my legs and basketball shorts was all he was getting. I was going to be in and out of there as quick as I could.
That is exactly what I did. I was going to show him. If Blake wanted an ice-princess, Blake was going to get an ice princess. If he thought for one second that he was going to spend an hour with Pea in the last five days and I was going to go along with his abbey sex game, he was crazy.
“You could pretend to enjoy this at least a little bit,” Blake said to my stiff neck. My eyes rolled and I stepped away.
“Can we do this?” I asked, tossing him the condom while I slid out of my shirt and out of my shorts, “I’m not getting paid to enjoy this. I’m getting paid for you to enjoy it.”
“Well, maybe I don’t enjoy it so much. Maybe we should just call this off.”
“Okay,” I shrugged, moving my shirt over my head.
My eyes widened when I found myself flat on my back with my shirt half up my arms. “You are the most hardheaded girl I have ever met in my life. Let me kiss you.”
“No. You’re stupid.”
“And you’re very difficult to handle, like worse than Pea. I don’t know what to do with you.”
I didn’t smile at his attempt to lighten my mood. Using Pea to his advantage probably wasn’t in his best interest. I sighed and shifted my eyes to the shiny black clock; nine-fifteen. If I was lucky I would be out of there by twenty till ten. I wasn’t into it like I was the other times. I guess I was too irritated that he stayed away from Pea for five whole days. Blake didn’t take my disconnection to heart, not that I expected him to. He tried like hell to bring me to pleasure with him, but nothing worked. I couldn’t even make myself wet that time, or he couldn’t. I wasn’t sure whose job that was just yet.
“What’s wrong?”
“Seriously? You’re going to ask me what’s wrong, with my legs above my head?”
“Well, I don’t normally have to use anything with you.”
“Yeah, you might want to grab that. This is a little uncomfortable.”
“You’re impossible.”
“I’m impossible? Blake you didn’t come home for five days. Let my legs down.”
“I came home,” he argued dropping my legs, but staying buried inside me.
“Pea didn’t know where you were. She asked where you were for three straight days, before she stopped.”
“She did?”
“Yeah. Why can’t you see how much she needs you to be a dad? She wouldn’t give a shit if you delivered her mail if you came home to her.”
“I do come home to her.”
“Please just get something to make it slide in easier and get this over with.”
“I’m going to make you come.”
“Are you now?” I retaliated with a smirk.
Blake blew out a puff of air and retrieved the bottle of easy. I suddenly didn’t need it anymore. Watching him putting it on with the stroking of his hand instantly did the job. He tried. He tried like hell in every position he could talk me into. I let him move me wherever he wanted except for the balcony. I wasn’t going out there with clothes on; I sure as hell wasn’t going out there without them. Blake paid special attention to my clitoris, and I came close, but not close enough. He finally gave up with me on top, rocking back and forth on his hips. I stilled and let him ride out his waves, jerking in ecstasy below my hips.
I backed off him and he jerked with a moan when his still sensitive tip brushed across my aching nub. That may have been on purpose.
“I’m going to walk down to the bar and get a drink,” I said, throwing on my shorts and shirt.
“You are? Wait. You’re not even old enough to do that?”
I nodded to the rolling condom, “Humph, but I’m old enough for that? I’ll be fine.”
“You can’t drink down there, Zazen would flip. I’m not interested in replacing the entire staff.”
“I’m sure that won’t be an issue. I might not even go in there. I’m just going to go walk.”
“But you won’t leave the hotel?”
“No,” I agreed, wanting to go. No, I needed to go. I don’t know. It was weird. I needed out of there and away from Blake. I didn’t wait for a response. I walked out, peeked in on Pea, and descended the stairs two at a time.
I was smart enough to change my basketball shorts, although I did choose jeans. I pulled my sex hair into a sex bun with most of it falling around my face. I didn’t take the time to fix it and I kind of liked it. The dark jeans with the red knit shirt, a blinging belt, and a pair of red heels and I was dressed up enough. If they kicked me out over a pair of jeans, I’d go somewhere else.
“You’re going like that?” Blake asked. Damn. Why did he have to look like that in basketball shorts?
“I can’t go into the bar dressed like you.”
“Why do you want to go down there? Stay here. I’ll make us a drink.”
“Why?”
“I just don’t think you should be sitting at the bar alone.”
“I’m far from alone around this place. I’m sure I know more names around here than you do.”
“I doubt that.”
I knew I was giving him the attitude my mother hated. I knew I was acting like a spoiled teenager, but OMG… “I don’t; whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow. You planning on being around this week, or no?”
“Are you sure you’re not getting ready to start your period again?”
“Yeah, Blake that’s it. You stay gone for five days, come home and spend forty five minutes with Pea just to get to me, but that’s it. My period. You’re so smart. Why didn’t I think of that? Thanks for that.”
“Yeah, no charge,” Blake called as the door closed behind me.
***
My head bounced off the cold glass, stirring me from the fancy dining room and back to the sleeping bus.
One wouldn’t think a forty-six hour bus trip would be so tiresome. It was, especially with Pea. Thank God for Natasha, electrical plugs for her tablet, and Mrs. Porter. I’m not sure my mind would have still been in a sane state had it not been for my new friend.
Stopping to change busses again for the fourth time, I knew one more and we’d lose Mrs. Porter and Natasha. Pea and I still had fifteen hours to go once we were in Cleveland and I still didn’t know what to do. Something was missing. Something just didn’t add up, but no matter how much I went through it step by step, it wasn’t soaking in. I sat with Pea on my lap the exact same way I had the night before and kept it going, trying to pin a point and time, a clue, or maybe something I hadn’t seen before. Anything to guide me in the right direction, to the right people, the only ones I knew for sure I could trust couldn’t help me. They worked for Holden or Ryan. I wondered if he was in the penthouse alread
y. If he was, where were all of our things?
I moved Pea to her seat and fluffed her stuffed Larry the monkey between her neck and the armrest around two in the morning. I looked across the aisle at Mrs. Porter and Natasha sound asleep and pulled the pen from my back pack. Starting with the tip I drew a straight line up my arm and then curved it with a hook. Within a few minutes my mind was back at the hotel and a feather was born. I wondered at that moment how many times I had drawn that same feather on my arm. Looking around the still bus again, I adjusted the dim round light toward the tip of my pen.
***
I walked into the bar that night to a crowd of rich people. Even in my nice jeans and heels, I felt like the fish out of water that I was. And I didn’t know the bartender. Great, I wasn’t getting a drink there. Not that I needed one. I just needed away from Blake before I went to prison for murder. I swished my jaws back and forth and turned to leave.
“Makayla?”
Shit. Not that voice. Any voice but that one. “Oh hey, Ryan.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just hanging, you?” Seriously. Just hanging??? Oh my God. I sucked at riding a high horse.
He snorted, showing straight white teeth, “I was on a date, but I’m about to say goodbye. Sit, I’ll buy you a drink,” he offered with a nod toward the bar, “Get her a drink, Clayton,” Ryan called and left me with a smile. The evening bartender that I hadn’t met yet stopped what who he was tending and came to me. Ryan had power around there too.
“What can I get for you?” Clayton smiled.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” I asked as serious and as bitchy as I could sound.
“I’m sorry. Yes. Yes. Forgive me.”
I laughed, “I’m kidding. I just always wanted to say that.” Clayton didn’t laugh. He looked at me like I was crazy. Leo would have laughed. His eyebrows lifted while he waited for my order. I was eighteen; barely. I didn’t know how to order a drink. “Vodka on the rocks.”
I looked around the busy restaurant in search of Ryan while Clayton got my drink. Hopefully vodka on the rocks wasn’t as bad as scotch on the rocks. Yuck. It made my stomach burn just thinking about it. I watched Ryan walk a girl with legs reaching the heavens above to the double doors where he kissed her cheek and said goodbye.