Avoiding the pleasure was hard. Really hard. Blake’s fingers did magical things to me and I almost let go multiple times. Almost. No matter how much pressure his fingers pressed on my throbbing nub, no matter how many times he dipped fingers inside my wet cavern, it didn’t happen. Blake finally gave up and pulled me toward the bed with him. I was left standing in my bra when he slid my shorts to my ankles and I stepped out of them. I saw Blake’s hardness protruding the right side of his jeans before he slid them over his hips, exposing a more than ready erection.
“Come up here and straddle me,” he rasped, sliding back on his elbows.
“No. I can’t do that.”
“Yes you can. Come here.”
“Blake. Just do it like you did the last time.”
“I’ll make a deal with you. I will bring Pea home a present tomorrow; something special, and I will be home to read her a bedtime story if you will come up here and let me fuck you.”
Jesus. Why the hell did that just send my already enthusiastic clitoris into overload? Holy shit that was sexy. Why couldn’t I just do it? Why couldn’t I be like Cosmo said I should be, throw my head back and scream out in pleasure while I rode up and down his shaft? I watched Blake roll a condom down his rod, knowing this was going to happen.
“Come here,” he ordered, quietly pulling me to straddle his waist. I buried my face in my hands and held my weight on my knees; one leg on either side of him. Oh my God. How embarrassing. My hands were pulled away from my face with his stronger hands around my wrists.
“I hate you,” I admitted, watching his eyes scan my body while his hands slid by bra over my shoulders.
“Sit down,” he whispered to my freed nipple. Hot shivers were spent spiraling down my spine.
I tried to hide my face again when I felt his hand move between us. He wouldn’t let me. I didn’t know where to look. If I looked straight ahead I could see him stroking himself below, through the mirrored glass. If I looked down I was forced to look into his eyes. What the hell was I supposed to do?
Blake raised his hips into me and touched the throbbing between my legs with his cock. With one hand on my hip, pulling me to him, I felt the tip of his head penetrate my opening. “Sit down,” he whispered again, pulling my hips to his. I moved slowly down his shaft, feeling every inch slide deeper and deeper into me. I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed by the fact that he didn’t need the lubricant this time or not. He slid naturally into me and held me with pursed lips and a hiss. Had his hands not held my hips and rocked me into him, I’m sure I would have just sat there.
“Aahh, Makayla,” Blake moaned, coming to a sitting position. His hands kept my pelvic swaying while his tongue teased and tortured me every place he could reach. Except my lips. I still turned away from his kiss. This was bad enough. I chastised myself time after time, catching myself rocking without his help. The erotic images displaying on the glass had me chastising myself too. I tried to keep a straight face, not show any pleasure, and fight the urge not to relax my head and thrust my nipples between his lips. My mind told him not to stop doing that, but there was no way in hell my mouth was going to repeat that.
“Come with me,” Blake begged, laying back again.
His hands kept me going while his eyes watched between us while we became one. That’s how my mom explained the birds and the bees anyway. I always thought it was romantic, but now, not so much. Blake watched while he slid himself in and out of me.
“I can’t,” I assured him.
“Yes you can. Keep moving,” he said, rocking his hips into mine to keep me going. His hips bounced while his fingers split my lips. His thumb circled my clit and his hips stopped; so did mine. “Keep moving,” he said again, thrusting into me again. I didn’t do it like he did where he was sliding in and out of me, but I did keep my hips moving and rocked back and forth on his rod. His hip bones dug into my thighs, but I was afraid to do anything else. Blake went back to working on my orgasm and stopped the movement of his hips. He tried, he really did. I just couldn’t do it. It felt amazing and I felt it build, and build, and build, but never peaked.
“Damnit, Makayla. Come.”
“Just do it, Blake. I can’t.”
Blake took that as a way out and flipped me to my back. I gave him a dirty look when I had to jerk my head to keep him from kissing me again. His face went to my neck, his hands grabbed my ass and he pumped, quick, shallow thrust, until he was humming the most erotic, sexiest sound I have ever heard. He stilled inside me and kissed my neck and I waited, and waited.
“You’re not dead are you?” I finally asked.
He laughed and shifted to his elbow, “I think so. I’m in heaven.” My eyebrows tilted to his and I tried to roll away. My escape was over before I even got to my side. “Where are you going? You don’t have to leave,” Blake said, holding his hand over my stomach. I moved it and rolled to my feet.
“Why? We’re done, right?” I questioned, throwing my shirt over my head and then my shorts, I omitted my underclothes. I just wanted away from Blake.
“Well, you can still hang out for a little while.”
“I don’t want to. I’m holding you to your promise about Pea.”
“Why is this so important to you?”
“Because. What’s going to happen to her when I leave? Someone has to love her.”
“I do love her. And what do you mean? Where are you going?”
“I can’t stay here forever. I would like to add something more than nanny, slash sex slave to my resume.”
“Stop saying that. You’re not a sex slave. Nobodies forcing you to do anything. If you were a sex slave you would be tied to my bed with something vibrating inside your pussy.”
My face flushed at the mention of the P word. Why did he have to say stuff like that? “Goodnight, Blake.”
I closed the door behind but not before I heard his sarcasm, “Yeah, goodnight, Makayla.”
I wasn’t trying to be difficult. What the hell did he expect? He was paying me for sex. We had sex. I wasn’t freaking staying there and cuddling with him for Christ’s sake.
***
By midnight I was dog tired and couldn’t drive another mile. I pulled off at the next exit and got a cheap hotel. I used the cash and my real identification, but not the credit card. After putting Pea in the queen sized bed, I yanked her pants and socks off. She curled in a little ball and I covered her up. God I loved her. My shower was supposed to be a quick, in and out. My mind thinking about Blake and sex caused it to be a little longer than that.
I don’t know what happened in my sleep, I woke rested with a realization. “Hey sleepy head,” I said, smiling over at Pea.
“I didn’t even know we came here.”
“That’s because you were sound asleep. And you need to stop eating roasted Twinkies. You’re getting too heavy,” I teased, poking her with a stiff finger. She giggled and held my hand.
Pea pointed to a jagged line that ended in a flat line, “What is this one?” We weren’t talking about that one, but looking up and down the ink on my arm explained the sudden realization.
“Pea we have to go back,” I sadly explained. I’m sure the sadness was more for me than her. Not even a month and I was headed back. What a failure.
“Back to our house with Larry and Candy and Brad and Kim and—”
“Yes Pea, but not that house. I don’t think. I don’t know that part yet.”
“Are we going to take the borrowed car? I like watching movies in it.”
“You have your tablet. I thought maybe we would take a bus.”
“I’ve never been on a bus before. Okay,” she agreed sliding off the bed and into the bathroom.
I traced the jagged line and breathed a deep breath when my finger slid over the straight part of it.
“Is my dad going to be there now?” Pea asked, jumping back under the covers with me. I snuggled her close to me and sighed again.
“We’re going to go help your daddy. It?
??s the only way.”
“Are we going to steal cars and break in cabins again?”
“We didn’t steal a car; we’re going to leave it at the bus station and stick a note to the steering wheel, thanking them for letting us borrow it.”
“I’m going to be five you know?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to treat me like a baby anymore. We stole the car.”
“Shut up. Let’s get this show on the road. How about gravy and biscuits this morning?”
“Pancakes.”
“You always want pancakes. Live a little, would you?”
“We just stold a car. I’m tryna live?”
“Good point, and we didn’t steal it. We only borrowed it. Let’s go.”
By noon Pea and I were on a Greyhound heading home, back to where we were running from. I was a failure and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t keep running. It wasn’t fair to Pea, not like this. We weren’t supposed to be on the run.
The bus was nice; I guess I was expecting more of what I saw on television, like a school bus. It wasn’t that way at all. Pea and I sat backward in front of an older black lady and her granddaughter. She was taking her back home to her mom in Cleveland, Ohio. That made me happy. Pea and her granddaughter sat across from each other and played. The table separating us came in handy for two bored little girls. We lost that luxury when we changed busses twelve hours later; we chose the middle of that bus. My new older friend stopped us before we got to the back and explained the smell thing. She and I sat on one side and the girls sat on the other. Mrs. Porter came prepared. The girls had everything under the sun to play with in that bag until they settled down after dark. I traded places with Natasha after that.
I sat by the window and held Pea on my lap wrapped in a soft, fresh smelling blanket, thanks to Mrs. Porter. She and Natasha shared a bigger one. She was a much better planner than I was. I kissed Pea’s head as many times as I sighed. If only we had some place to hide out. Somewhere that I could keep Pea safe while I tried to figure out what to do.
“Will you tell me a story?” Pea asked, nestled to my chest.
“Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to find a princess, but she would have to be a real princess,” I began.
“That’s me.”
“Yes, it’s always you,” I smiled, and kissed her head again. I hugged her tight when she slid her arms between our bodies and sighed a deep sleepy breath, smiling and closing her eyes. I kissed her again and told the story all the way to the end.
I watched out into the dark night while Pea relaxed in my arms, wishing I had a pen. I did, I always had a pen, but I didn’t want to move Pea. I was having a moment and I needed her close to me. The pen would have helped while my mind wondered back to how I got into this mess.
***
Blake held true to his word and was home by seven with a cheap ass airport monkey that he’d gotten after sending his mother off. He couldn’t even stop at a store and buy her something special. Hell, he probably didn’t even buy it. Grace probably did.
“How long did it take you to pick that out?” I smartly asked, sliding Pea her snack. She moved the bowl and took the monkey. She liked it.
“I picked it up at the airport this morning. It reminded me of the story I read to her the other night. It was about a lost monkey.”
Well shit. He was talking about Larry and not elevator Larry. Pea loved that book. She laughed every time I made the hiccup sound. “I’m sorry. It’s just that time of month. That was very thoughtful of you,” I said, revoking my previous rude comment. The man was trying.
“It is?”
“I laughed at that being the only part he heard.”
“Not exactly right this second, but soon. Like in the next day or two.”
“But we’re good tonight?”
“That’s three days in a row. Is that normal?”
“Heck yeah. I’m a twenty six year old man. And you’re a mystery that turns me on.”
I flushed and turned away. Hmm, Blake had a birthday, “I’m not that big of a mystery.”
“Then tell me something about yourself.”
“No. There’s nothing to tell and that’s not part of the agreement. You got her for a little bit? I’m going to shower. You can bathe her when she finishes her applesauce if you want.”
Blake looked at me like I suggested he go rob a bank, “I’m not going to bathe her.”
“She pretty much does it herself. Just let her play and I will come and show you how to wash her hair without the entire city hearing her scream,” I didn’t wait for a response. I left to shower, more for myself. Jesus. He wanted to do it again? I read once that most couples have sex between one and three times a week on average. Every night? I swear the guy had a quota for everything.
I wasn’t sure if my period had me so uptight or the fact that I had gone the entire day not hearing a word from or about Holden. I worried the entire day that Blake would come bursting through the door at any second, accuse me of using him to get to Holden, and throw me out to the pimps. He never said a word and I was sure Holden didn’t tell him. Maybe he didn’t know. No. He knew. Gah!
Twenty One
I was sure Blake was trying to kill me with embarrassment that night. It didn’t matter how many times I protested getting on my hands and knees for him, he still made me do it.
“I’ll come home early again tomorrow. I’ll bring Pea something again. I liked bringing her something. She really loved it.”
I snorted, standing naked in front of him, “Yeah, well maybe we can talk about Pea when your fingers aren’t down there.”
“Tell me what feels good.”
“No. Just do it.”
“How about this?” He asked, pressing three fingers in a circular motion around my throbbing nub.
“It feels fine.” What the hell did he want me to say? Oh, baby. Yeah, right there…
And once again his bliss gave up before mine and I got the hell away from him. It’s funny how flustered I was naked around him, but clothed he was the flustered one. Hump. Interesting.
I wasn’t expecting Blake to still be home when I walked upstairs to get Pea the following morning. Passing in the hall we both looked up, startled. Blake was wearing tight, white boxer briefs and I was in a long shirt barely covering my ass. He explained that he was meeting Holden there for breakfast before going to the office, and I informed him that I would be closed for maintenance for the next three or four days. My eyes worked hard to stay off his damp chest and the bulge in his shorts.
“Well, goodbye,” I said, scurrying past him. Both our heads jerked when we turned, catching each other, looking. Damnit.
I woke Pea with kisses to her eyelids and she woke smiling. She was always so happy. I made sure Blake was gone before emerging with Pea. I made her breakfast while she spun, scrubbing the floor in circles with her tummy. For real. She was a floor cleaner like they used on the shiny halls in the hotel. When they did our floor, Pea sat in the door frame and watched like it was the circus. Silly little girl.
I couldn’t help but think about Holden being there again, only this time I didn’t want to spy on him. I wished I hadn’t done it the first time. Now I was left waiting, wondering what he was thinking, what he was planning, and if I would be tossed to the streets. It wasn’t time. Blake wasn’t there yet. He’d fall back into old habits in a day if I would let him. I couldn’t leave her yet. Why was I so stupid?
That afternoon I was packing us a lunch so we could spend the afternoon in our little patch of woods when I heard the intercom buzz. Assuming it was Veronica or Michelle, letting me know the maid was on her way up, I hit the button.
“Yes?”
“Mikki, Zazen is asking that you join him in the dining room for lunch,” I heard Larry’s voice, “Mikki?”
“Um, why? I can’t. I have Pea.”
“You have to. Did you not hear me? I said Zazen as in, Zazen Resorts. He owns your bed. I’ll keep
Pea.”
“Larry. I can’t meet him. What does he want?”
“How am I supposed to know? Bring Pea to me at the front desk. Veronica knitted her a scarf; she wants to give it to her.” Pea had become the hotel mascot. She went from people knowing she lived there and seeing her once in a while to seeing her daily. They missed her when we didn’t make our rounds. Of course she had that effect on people. She was too cute not to. Even Blake was warming to her little personality. He just wasn’t warm enough yet. Damnit. What did he want?
“When?”
“Right now, Mikki.”
“Now?”
Oh boy. Pea didn’t mind a bit. She was excited to share her lunch with Larry. Crap. Crap. Crap. Pea carried her lunch in her backpack hooked to her shoulders and two fruit rollups in her hands, one for her, and one for Larry. I worried, wringing my hands while I counted floors, all the way to number two where I would find him. Oh no. What if Blake was there? What if this was a set up? What if I was never going to see Pea again? What if—
“Hey, you can pick me up?” Pea asked, when a man in a wheelchair joined us on the fifteenth floor. He scared her and of course I lifted her into my arms and kissed her little cheeks. Her eyes never left the strange looking man, riding around in a motorized chair, and mine never left her. I was hoping she didn’t ask where his legs were, at least not in front of him. Even growing up in a hospital left little for knowing the right thing to say. Some people would smile and tell you they’re whole life story, and some were bitter, like me. They didn’t want to talk about why they had to die, or lose a leg, a kidney, or live with a colostomy bag.
Pea slid down my body when the doors opened to Larry and Veronica, “Are you going to eat too? I did only bringed two sandwiches,” she explained. Her expression looked sad with the way she tilted her head, explaining to Veronica that she didn’t know she was coming.
“That’s okay, Larry said he would share. Come on. We’re going to go watch Matt squish some boxes while we eat.”
“Okay, Pea. You listen to Veronica and Larry and I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”