~ ~ ~
A radio played nearby, muffled as if it were on the other side of a wall. Then water running, closer than the radio. I blinked my eyes open to a room bathed completely in red. Blood red. Annie’s blood burned into my eyes forever. But it was just the sun streaming in through burgundy curtains. And there was the headache. Like someone had taken an axe to my head.
My stomach was in even worse shape than my head, though it seemed to be more a product of my grief than the drinks. It was a feeling that would stay for a long time. How was I supposed to keep living without Annie? I buried my head in my hands, wishing away the red, wishing I had never gone out last night, wishing I didn’t know Annie’s fate.
I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things we’d done together. I remembered so clearly the first time I’d seen her, the first day of school when we were just six years old, and she pushed me right off my swing.
“I want a turn,” she’d said, and I’d been so mesmerized by her that I just brushed off my dress, smiled and said “okay,” then offered to give her a push.
After that Annie became my protector, torturing anyone who dared look at me the wrong way. I would not have wanted to be Gladys Shepherd the year she invited everyone in our class, except me, to her birthday party. In fact, I would not have wanted to be her for the four years following. Annie was nothing if not thorough in her punishments. She guided me in every way, right down to the lipstick our fateful first night at the speakeasy. How could I ever go on without her?
I breathed into my pillow, willing the tears to hold off, just for a while, just until I got my bearings. The pillow smelled strange. Bleach. I could still hear the radio. And the running water. I was not in my own bed. My sheets at home were scented lightly with lavender, not bleach, and my curtains were certainly not burgundy.
I bolted upright, but it proved to be a bad decision as the pain seared through my head and my stomach scolded me with an unkind rumble. But all that could wait.
First, I had to figure out where I was.
The room was empty except for me, the bed and a cheap looking dresser. But someone must be around since the water was still running steadily in the next room. Someone was in there washing.
Bits and pieces of last night came back. Frankie.
Frankie had saved me. But he wouldn’t drag me off to some seedy place who-knows-where. No, Frankie would have made sure I made it home safely.
But if not Frankie, then who?
And why? Surely they would know I would get into trouble.
Oh God, my parents. What could they be thinking? The way the sun was peeking in through the curtains, there’d be no way they hadn’t already discovered that I was gone. How was I ever supposed to face them again? They’d had their suspicions that I’d been sneaking out, but they would never imagine that I’d been sneaking into illegal clubs. Not their little Sadie. Of course, the news of Annie must have reached them by now, but still, even though they knew I was friends with her, would they really believe I’d gone and done something like that?
Well, maybe after I didn’t make it home, they would.
I hugged the blanket close to my chest, suddenly feeling like I had done something very bad. Which I guess I had. It’s funny how even though it was against the rules, it still didn’t feel wrong as it was all happening. It was just harmless fun.
But, I would never be the same person again. It had not been harmless. People got hurt. Annie got hurt.
It dawned on me to make sure that I was at least still decent. I breathed a sigh of relief as I discovered I was fully clothed, though whoever had brought me here must have taken my shoes off before laying me down. My stomach clenched hard as I looked down at my green dress. Flashes of Annie and me reading the New York papers rolled through my head like a moving picture show. Annie talking nonstop about fashion and how she would have made this hem different, or how that ruffle was yesterday’s news. She would have made such a talented designer.
There was no pillow beside me. I glanced around and discovered the second pillow on the floor, accompanied by a scrunched up blanket. Obviously a makeshift bed.
At least my captor was a gentleman. Well, as much of a gentleman as a captor could be, I suppose.
I got my answer a moment later when the washroom door opened.
He wasn’t looking at me as he came into the room. He was busy toweling off his hair. Relief washed over me. It was Frankie. My Frankie. I was angry with him for not taking me home, but in that moment I was more shocked by the fact that he had no shirt on. A few drops of water remained on his broad shoulders, clinging there, like they didn’t want to let go.
I’d tried so many times to imagine what he’d look like under that suit, but never in my wildest dreams had I imagined this. Muscles rippled where I didn’t even know there could be muscles, his years of working for the Boss had definitely not made him soft. If I’d never met him before, I’d have guessed he’d been in construction, or mining, some sort of hard labor.
My face heated. I should not think such things, especially with all that was going on. I was able to gather myself enough to close my gaping mouth just before he noticed I was no longer asleep. Perhaps my teeth clasping together was what made him look my way.
“Oh,” he said, looking embarrassed. “You’re up.” He quickly reached for his undershirt and pulled it over his head in record time.
How cute. It almost made me forget just how very mad at him I was.
But once he put on that shirt, my senses came back to me and it all started going downhill.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked.
“Uh…” He looked around the room, searching for an answer.
“Why are we here?” I stood, throwing the covers off me. “Actually, where the heck are we, anyway?” I put my hands on my hips and stared at him, trying to keep my focus above his neck though it was so very, very hard.
“I’m sorry Sadie. It’s just that I…”
“You what? Just decided to keep me for yourself?” I yelled. “’Cause the last time I checked, you said you didn’t want to have anything to do with me!”
“Sadie,” he pleaded, his arms reaching in my direction. “It’s not that I didn’t want to be with you, I said I couldn’t be with you. There’s a big difference.”
I stood firm, telling my heart very strictly, not to melt. “Well, you still haven’t answered where we are. Or why!”
“I know, Sadie. You haven’t given me a chance!”
I was becoming irrational, even I could tell, but I just couldn’t stop myself from going on. “Oh! So this is all my fault? You think I wanted you to drag me off to some shady motel while my parents are probably sick with worry, not knowing if I’m alive!”
I hated that my eyes were welling up again.
“No Sadie, come on. You know me. It’s not like that,” he said, gently.
“I don’t know you! I sure didn’t know you when you abandoned me just because the stupid Boss said to!” My legs felt wobbly under me. I sat back down on the bed, burying my face in my hands. Frankie had seen enough of my tears.
“Sadie…” he said. “I didn’t abandon you.”
He took a few steps toward me, sitting carefully on the end of the bed, still several excruciating feet away. “I never wanted to abandon you,” he corrected with a whisper.
I hated myself for still wanting to be close to him.
He ran his hand through his hair roughly. “It’s just that… your family. Your father.”
I sighed.
Frankie didn’t say anything, but his silence told me more than he could ever have found the words for.
“So why now? Why did you take me away now?” I asked, looking up at him.
He met my gaze. There was something in those eyes that made my stomach lurch again. Something was wrong. He was scared too.
He closed his eyes and put a fist up to his forehead, as if he were struggling to find the right words. He
took a deep breath. “This is going to sound horrible. But I want you to know, before I go any further, that if I could have seen any possible way to be with you before, I would have. I swear.”
I furrowed my brow. “But…” I searched the room for the right question. “Why me? Like you said, I’m just a silly girl.”
“Sadie, I never said you were silly,” he said, in a tone that said ‘you know that.’ “And I don’t know why you. Why me?”
I stared at my hands, fidgeting. I had no answer for him either.
“I guess there’s just a… connection between us,” he said.
I nodded stupidly. There was nothing else to say about it. He was right. It was whatever people were talking about when they said they had ‘chemistry.’ You can’t see it. There’s no reasoning behind it. It’s just there.
“So why are we here?” I asked again, not knowing if I really wanted the answer. Something about the fear in his eyes scared me too. I couldn’t help feeling like I’d never be able to go back to the way things were before.
“I tried to get you home last night, I really did, but when we got close there was already trouble.” He took another deep breath, stalling. He closed his eyes and shook his head, just a little. “Sadie, police cars were already lined halfway down your street.”