"Everyone's gone." He tilted his head to the side and studied me further. "And I mean everyone, like…I even think the janitor is gone. What's up with you?"
What was up with me? Wasn't that the question of my life? I lied with forced cheerfulness, "It's the last day of school. Can you believe it, Kid? I'm done here. I'm done…" with so much more.
Kid cursed and jerked me towards the parking lot. "What is wrong with you? You look like a zombie, like you're in a coma or something. What happened?"
I mumbled, "I don't remember you being so bossy."
After he pushed me into his car, Kid grumbled when he got in on his own side, "You're right. Brady's the a-hole of us. I'm the nice guy, but you're driving me crazy. You're both driving me crazy. I can't take this anymore!"
That's when I started crying.
"Oh god…," Kid groaned. "I don't know what to say now. Come on, Ray. Stop. Don't cry."
I cried harder and folded my head into my hands.
"Seriously." Kid cursed. "I'm screwing this up right now. I don't know what to say to you anymore. Is this about Brady? The school?"
"Not helping," I hiccupped between sobs.
Kid swore again as he fell back against his seat. "You're too much Brady's. I just…you were still Rayna from before. I knew you, but now there's too much Brady over you. I don't know what to say to you anymore. I used to know. What would he say?"
What would Brady say? He'd say screw whoever was the problem.
"Hell," Kid sighed as he held onto the steering wheel. "Brady would say something like 'forget them' or worse. I can't do that, Rayna. I don't know what the problem is. Should I call Brady?"
I started sobbing again.
"Stop crying! Please!"
I hiccupped and wiped the snot from my nose. Then I looked at Kid probably for the first real time since he brought me to his car. I saw some sort of struggle within him. And I was tired of the lies. I'd just started lying, but I was already done with it. So I asked, "If you knew you had a brother, what would you do?"
I listened with every part of my soul.
He drew a breath in. "I would…I don't know. Maybe that's my problem."
From the fear in his voice, I saw a Kid that I'd never seen before. He'd always been so larger than life before. Confident. Charming. Good looking. Smart. He'd been smooth when Brady had been rough. Kid had known what to say when Brady chose to fight, but then things changed. Brady became smart. He started to know what to say while Kid had started to flounder. Still, Kid always had his composure, but not now. This time I saw a little boy sitting beside me, uncertain.
Then I risked it. "I know that Brady is your brother."
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Kid stared at me and then his body slumped down. "Finally."
"Finally?" I croaked.
"Finally someone else knows."
"You knew?" Now so much made sense. I sat up straight. "Is that why you came back? Is this what you two were fighting about before?" And much more importantly, did Brady already know?
Dazed, Kid shook his head. "No. I mean, yes. I came back because I found out Brady was my brother, but no, Brady doesn't know. I don't know what he'd do if he did."
"I'm confused."
Kid faced me. "Brady thinks I came back to be with you. It's why we fought that first time. It's mostly my fault. I always knew he was in love with you. I meant to come back here to tell him about our dad, but when I saw him that night, I got so angry. He's like my father in some ways and I wanted to hurt him."
"Why would you do that? It's not Brady's fault that your dad is a whore," I snapped.
Kid commented, "I am aware of that. Thank you, Rayna. I went to that party, but I didn't know if I'd see Brady or not. I had every intention of finding him the next day, but there he was. When he saw me, I knew he was pissed. He was threatened because the last time he saw me, I told him that I wanted to take you out on a date. Brady doesn't forget anything. He's like a woman that way. I wanted to hurt my father, but my dad wasn't in front of me. Brady was. So…" He took a deep breath. "I might have said some things to push him over the edge."
"What did you say?" I was on the edge of my seat. Literally.
"I'm stupid."
"Kid!"
"I asked him if you were still single because you were pretty easy on the eyes before. Then I might've said something about how easy you could be in bed."
My hand flew up and I slapped him. Then I thought about it some more and slapped him again.
Kid cupped his cheek. "I deserved that and I realize Brady would've pounded me even if he wasn't in love with you."
"You're the asshole. Not Brady," I seethed and folded my arms over my chest. "I thought you were the good guy. I thought you were always so nice. You disappointed me. You just reminded me that you're male."
Kid chuckled. "You make that sound like an insult."
"It is," I snapped. "I cannot believe you. You were always the smart one. You were the one who did the right thing even when you didn't want to. Then you said those awful things about me? I don't even care that they're not true. I don't care that you said them about me because they don't hurt me. They hurt Brady. They hurt him."
"That's what I wanted."
"Congratulations. Your father hurt you, so you hurt someone else. Way to think only about yourself. I am so tired of everyone thinking about themselves. No one thinks about the rest of us, the ones who are the secrets. Don't you think that our lives are going to be affected too? That we're going to be hurt just as much, probably more so? No. No one thinks of us."
He relented, "I didn't think about Brady. You're right. My dad kept this other kid a secret from me. Do you know what that's like? To find out that you have a brother? Or that your own father had been lying to you all your life?"
"No," I replied dryly. "I have no idea what that's like."
He continued without pausing, "I knew my dad was a liar and a cheat, but I didn't think he treated me like them. I was his son. I thought he loved me. And he's probably got more kids out there."
"Newsflash: your dad isn't nice."
He stiffened next to me. "I get you're mad, but back off a little. He's still my father. And he hasn't had it so easy lately. He just got back from a funeral."
"So you can gripe and complain about him, but I can't? Another newsflash: his other son is my best friend. I can say whatever I want. I don't know who died. He seems to only care about himself and be damned with everyone else, including his children…" My heart was thundering so loud, it was deafening. I knew I had to calm down. Kid had no idea about my situation. Then I realized that I was doing what he had done. I was hurting so I wanted to hurt someone else. "I am so sorry, Kid. You're right. I can't say anything. Your father is still your father. I apologize."
Kid scooted over a little. "Sometimes, you're odd. This is one of those days. And it was my dad's old business partner died. It sounds weird, but he respected the guy."
It had been an odd day, an odd week. And I was suddenly exhausted. As I wiped a tear away, I asked, "Can you give me a ride home? My grandfather gave me a ride in today."
Kid nodded. "Is this really about me hurting Brady? Is that why you're kinda off today or is there something else wrong? You're not you, not completely."
"It's the last day of school. I didn't get much sleep last night." I knew I was becoming a good liar when Kid didn't question me anymore. He patted my hand this time.
Then a different thought came to me. "Why are you here, Kid? You don't go to this school. You don't even go to school."
A guilty look flashed over his face, but the back door opened at that moment. Clarissa hopped inside. From the determined look in her eye and the apology in Kid's, I knew I'd been set up.
"Oh no. You both did not just manipulate me."
She rolled her eyes. "Get over it. I called him to talk to you. Something was seriously wrong with you and Brady today. Kid's the only one I thought you might talk to about it." She folded her ar
ms over her chest and leaned back. "I was being a good friend."
"A good friend? You know what those are?"
"Yes!" She flicked her braid over her shoulder. "What's going on with you? What's going on with Brady?"
"Leave it alone, Clarissa. Please, leave it alone. It's complicated."
"Does this have to do with your mom being in town?"
The world fell away underneath me. I was starting to hyperventilate…
Clarissa continued from a distance, "I saw her at the Stephens' house when I went over to tell Kid that something was wrong with you. Does this have to do with her? Because if it does, that's horrible. She's a bitch. Does she not want you and Brady to be together? That's the only thing that'd make sense to me."
I reached around the seat and grabbed her braids to yank her close. "Why was my mother there?" I glared at Kid, "Why was my mother with your dad?"
Kid's eyes were wide and he leaned all the way back against his window. "She came back with him from the funeral."
"What funeral?" I ground out.
"The one my dad was at."
"Where?" My heart was racing. I couldn't catch my breath. Everything was rushing at me so fast now.
And then Kid answered quietly, "Florida."
My mom. His dad. Florida. She was back. At that moment, I was barely aware of anything. Then a door slammed and someone pounded on my window. Everything was spinning around me now.
It couldn't be. There was no way. She was back…
I blinked back the darkness. I was about to faint and I didn't want that. I couldn't go away when so much was within my grasp. Then my door opened and I started to fall backwards.
"Rayna!"
I was caught by someone.
"What the hell, Kid? Clary?"
"We didn't do it. She freaked out on her own."
"What'd you say to her?"
Kid's voice was far away. "Nothing. She just found out her mom's at my house."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Brady?" There he was. He was holding me and then he looked down. I felt him brush my hair back from my forehead. "Rayna, it's okay. Whatever's wrong, it's okay."
Was it? I had no idea, but I stayed there for a moment and relished the feel of his arms. It felt so right to be in them again. When I looked up again and saw the concern there, I knew he loved me. I saw it for real for the first time. It was there, underneath the surface he always shows to everyone. I saw how he loved me and I choked up. How could we have wasted so much time? Then again, we still didn't know…I took one more breath, closed my eyes as Brady swept a hand down the side of my face and then pushed away.
I reeled for a second. Everything felt right when I was in his arms.
"My mother is here."
Brady pulled me out of the car. As the others followed he wrapped his arms around my waist.
Clarissa explained, "I thought maybe that was why you and Rayna fought today."
"You saw her mother?"
"Brady." I didn't want him to say anything more. I didn't fully trust Clarissa.
"She hasn't seen her mother in six years, Clarissa! Goddamn it. Think sometimes," Brady snapped while he cradled me against his chest.
"I didn't know. I just wanted to help her."
"Brady, that's not fair. She doesn't know Rayna's history. No one really knows it."
"I do and you should've come to me before you cornered her." Then he turned his back to them and whispered in my ear, "You want to go there?"
My body had grown numb, but I needed to see her. I needed to know.
"Okay. Okay, we'll go there." With his hands on my hips, he steered me to his passenger door. I huddled against the door until he got in on the other side. Then he scooped an arm around my waist and pulled me over the divider, pressed against his side. He kissed my forehead. "I told 'em not to follow us. You need your time alone with her."
I rested my forehead against his shoulder as he pulled onto the highway.
"It'll be okay." Brady found my hand with his.
"I hope so." I hoped so much.
"I know that you haven't really talked much about your mom. You've said before that you didn't want to have a relationship with her, but she's here. That's something. If my mom was in town, even for a day, I'd be happy to get any time I could with her."
Brady had never talked about his parents. He'd always said he was happy with foster parents that didn't kick him out. But now, I heard something else.
"Do you think about your mom?"
"What kid doesn't?" He jerked a shoulder up.
"Do you think of her a lot?"
He shrugged again. "I mean…yeah. Obviously, you do. Your mom's in town. You can talk to her; maybe learn some things from her. I don't know. Yeah. I think about my mom."
"What do you think about? Do you like her? Do you want to like her?"
Brady studied me before he replied, "She's a part of me. She gave birth to me. I…" He hesitated.
Why was he hesitating? Why was he choosing his words so carefully?
"I know my mother's name, but I don't know her. I've talked to her only a few times and most of those was when she asked for Viola on the phone. She's never come around except once for Christmas." I felt something wet on my cheeks. Why was I always crying? "Do you ever feel like you're watching life and you're not actually in it?"
Brady laughed. "Only when some guy rushes me. I check out for a second and then I'm right in. I'm all in."
"No, I mean, I don't know what I mean."
He slowed the car and replied, "That just tells me that you can't feel what you're feeling because it's painful. Like it's almost too painful for you to handle right now, but it'll click off when you can handle it. I know it. And," he took a deep breath. "We're here."
I saw Kid's old house. It looked like the same mansion from when we were kids, but smaller. The two pillars in front of the door weren't as large, but still grand. They looked like massive guards, there to intimidate trespassers.
"You ready?" Brady asked.
No.
I nodded.
He got out first and then the front door opened to emit a business man. He was dressed in a three-piece suit with a briefcase. When he looked at us, I knew his blue eyes reeled in most women, but they weren't close to how beautiful Brady's were. No one's were.
"That's a lawyer," Brady said.
"How do you know?"
"I recognize him. Deputy Dog told me who Frank Stephens' lawyer was when I got arrested the first time. It's some big hotshot from the city. That's him."
"Why is my mother meeting with a lawyer?" Or maybe she had nothing to do with it?
I had a weird sensation Brady knew something more, but he wasn't sharing. "I don't think your mother is. I think Frank Stephens just met with his lawyer. We're at his house, remember?"
"Oh…right…" A flashback came to me when Kid, Brady, and I were little kids. We must've been in seventh grade and all three of us raced inside those doors. The last one inside was the loser. We were laughing, so carefree back then.