“So, how was your first day?”
Lane talking to me threw me off for a second, and it made me a little skeptical. “Why? I thought you didn’t care about me.”
Covering his chest like I’d actually stabbed him, he looked at me with a fake, shocked expression. “Jessa, I’m appalled! Of course I care. I’m your brother.”
I reached over and tried to smack him in the chest. “Shut up, and you’ll never be my brother, so please stop saying that.”
Lane’s laugh wasn’t his usual boisterous sound, but at least he wasn’t being a complete prick anymore. “Okay, fine. But seriously, you didn’t even look at me in English Lit. That hurt, Jessa. Really hurt.”
“Oh, whatever. I figured you wanted nothing to do with me.” I knew he was messing with me, but for some reason I loved that he was even speaking to me. “But, fine. My day was actually really good. I made captain, and we have a good chance at taking state this year.”
“Captain, huh?”
“Yes, captain.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this conversation, and I didn’t want to get too comfortable. We’d both gone so long not being friends, but for some reason it was just always so easy with him. Our friendship took off right away when we were kids, and even now being around him felt, well, easy.
“That’s cool, Jess.” Hearing him call me Jess made my heart flip in my chest. I felt like my old friend was back for a split second, but then he continued talking. “Yeah, I don’t know about your football team here. I had no idea our captain was such a tool.”
Giving Lane a sideways glance, I knew what he was doing. “Brady is not a tool.”
Lane laughed and slouched down in his seat a little, getting more comfortable. “He’s a big freaking tool. Why in the world are you dating that guy? Is he really that good in bed?”
“Lane!” I shrieked and wacked my hand hard across his chest, which really didn’t do much because his chest felt like a freaking rock. “Shut-up, we haven’t even gone there yet.”
I couldn’t chance looking over at him, I mean we were back in each other’s life not even a day, and here I was telling him my sexual secrets.
“Interesting,” was all he said before he popped his headphones back in his ears.
***
The next few weeks went down in a monotonous routine. Lane was pretty much a prick every single day, and Kathy King was like an annoying hemorrhoid that wouldn’t get off Lane’s body. I knew he didn’t like her, and that her annoying cheerleading attitude was driving him crazy, but for some reason he was allowing her attachment. We barely spoke to each other, and when we were home he would stay locked up in his room or in the basement. I gave him his privacy because it almost didn’t seem worth it to try anymore. Hearing nasty, mean words come out of my ex-best friend’s mouth was hard enough, but to have him look at me with so much hatred was the dagger in the heart. My dad and Janice tried their best with him as well, but it was never enough. I heard him once on the phone, with I’m assuming a friend back in Colorado where he and his dad had moved to, and he said that he just had to endure nine more months of hell, and then he’d be free. It broke my heart, again, to hear him refer to being around me as hell.
A few days later at school, I couldn’t help but listen in on a conversation that started during lunch. Brady and I were eating outside when Ian, Brady’s best friend, mentioned something that I had no idea about.
‘Dude, Lane’s cool as shit. Did you hear he’s throwing a major kager at his house after our game on Friday? That guy is legit.” Ian and Chad, another football goon, high-fived each other and smiled widely.
“Wait, what did you just say?” I asked and looked at the two boys with fire in my eyes. “A kager? At his house?’ Brady cleared his throat and slowly moved his hand across the front of his throat, indication to drop the subject. I turned my body and looked right at him. “Wait, you knew about this?”
Brady coughed quickly and looked around at his friends for help. When they stuffed their faces with food, he was on his own. “Babe, yeah, but I just heard this morning. It will probably get busted before it even happens. You know how it is around here. Parties never last.”
“Oh, don’t ‘babe’ me. You should have said something.” I glared at him, but knew that I was just throwing my frustration his way, instead of getting after the real person behind this all. “Uh, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you guys, and I know you all like Lane, but he’s a pain in my ass.”
They all chuckled and then Ian perked up, which only meant that Kami was walking up behind us. “Hey, Kami. Going to the big party this weekend?”
“Only unless you’re not,” she sang back to him and sat down on the bench next to me.
“Kami, why are you always breaking my heart?” Kami just rolled her eyes and turned to face me.
“I’m assuming you’ve heard?” She raised her eyebrows, and I knew she was waiting for me to lose it. Except, I wasn’t going to lose it. The only person that was going to get the rage of Jessa was Lane himself.
“I did. That’s interesting, isn’t it? The first time our parents go out of town, he throws a party. It’s like he’s just trying to get kicked out.” I had filled Kami in on all of mine and Lane’s past. She’s such an amazing friend, and listened to me wine the past few weeks, only giving me advice when I really need it. I also let her know the real reason Lane moved back. The day after I found out he was going to be living with us for the rest of the school year, my dad and Janice told me all about Lane losing his dad, and how hard it was on him. I guess he had tried to live with an aunt that lived in Denver, but he hated the city more than he hated the idea of coming back here. I wanted to talk to him about it so bad, but he was so closed off from me that it was impossible. I thought maybe he’d come around, but that didn’t seem likely.
“You aren’t going to rat him out, are you?” Ian asked with hopeful eyes, which meant that people were probably looking forward to this party. I really didn’t want to chance getting in trouble with my volleyball coach, but I also couldn’t be that friend.
Rolling my eyes, I ripped off a corner of my sandwich and threw it at him. “Of course not. I’m not a snitch.”
Everyone whooped and hollered, which made me join in.
“What’s so funny? Did Bradly tell another hilarious joke?”
Everyone’s head snapped up, and there, standing beside us was Lane himself with his plastic sidekick.
“It’s Brady, and no. We were actually just talking about –” I nudged Brady’s side, indicating that I did not want to talk about Lane’s party here. He would get that wrath when I got home that evening. “Easy, Jessa.” Brady said, and rubbed his side.
“He actually did just tell us a hilarious joke. It involved you, so of course everyone laughed.” Lane pushed his sunglasses down and gave me a questioning glare.
Kathy started to pull on his arm, indicating she was just as done with that encounter as I was. “Yeah, well good luck with that one, Bradly.”
When Lane was out of earshot range, Brady turned toward me and gave me a hard look. “What’s his problem? It’s like he’s always out for me, saying my name wrong, or just always saying some dickhead comment.”
Ian laughed and told him to quit being such a puss. I knew, though, that what he was feeling was exactly what he thought it was. Lane was punishing him for being with me. The only question I had was why.
Chapter Six
“I’m going to Lindsey’s party tomorrow night, are you?”
Lane and I were walking back to his house, which was a good mile away from mine, but we had to because we’d both left our bikes in his garage. At least we were more than halfway there. “I don’t know; I think Lindsey’s a total bitch.”
“Lane!” I said laughing and smacked his shoulder. My dad would nev
er let me curse, but it seemed lately that every other word out of Lane’s mouth was foul. “She’s not that bad.”
Lane laughed a little, but then became serious again. “I just don’t like that girl. She seems to be so jealous of you. I’m surprised she even invited you to her party.”
“Trust me, she’s not jealous of me.”
“She is; she just doesn’t ever act that way around you.”
I pulled on Lane’s arm, which made him stop in the middle of our dirt road. “Has she been talking crap about me?” His darting eyes told me everything I needed to know. “What has she been saying?”
“Jessa, it’s not important. I told her to shut her mouth and that she was just mad that you were prettier than her.”
Smiling, I started walking again but it didn’t exactly help me feel one-hundred percent better. “I’ll never have any girls as friends, will I?”
Lane reached over and grabbed my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. The first time he did that, it made me jump so high that his cheeks turned a blazing red, and we never spoke of it. But since then, he has held my hand more and more. It never felt awkward, just right. Like a best friend’s hand should feel.
“You’ll find a girl that likes you for you. She’ll be the best friend you’ll ever have.”
I squeezed his hand back. “Thanks for that, but you’re wrong.”
“And why is that?”
I was quiet for a minute, not sure if I really wanted to say what was on my mind. But then I thought, why not? “Because you’re the best friend I’ll ever have.”
Lane stopped and dropped my hand, looking straight into my eyes. Something was changing between us, and I wasn’t sure what in the world to think about it.
Just when his silence couldn’t have gotten any weirder, he took off running, telling me that he was going to beat me to his house. Now, Lane was fast, but I was too. Not quite as fast as him, but I could hold my own. “You will not!” I took off sprinting and by the time we both touched his front door, we were panting like dogs in the hot summer heat.
“I think I tripped on a rock,” he said in a playful voice.
When I didn’t say anything back, he plopped down on the front step, and pulled me down with him. “Don’t be sad about Lindsey’s party. You should still go; I doubt she says anything mean to you.”
I just shrugged my shoulders and started to play with a stick that was lying next to me. “It’s not just that, I thought maybe, well. Oh, never mind. It’s so stupid.”
Lane turned towards me and lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “Since when is anything you think stupid?”
Closing my eyes, I knew there was no going back now. He was going to get my thoughts out of me, and telling him would cut out so much time of torture. “Okay, but you can’t laugh. Promise?”
“Of course, I promise, who do you think I am?” Lane gave me a mischievous grin, which only made me cringe more. “Okay, Okay. I promise. No laughing,” He pretended to lock-up his mouth and throw away a fake key.
I let out a little sigh and turned away from him. There was no way I could look at him and say what I was about to say. “I heard that Jeremy Dillion was going to be there.” Lane kept his word and didn’t make a sound, but I still didn’t turn to look at him. “I also heard Betty Miller say that we were going to play spin the bottle.”
Lane’s quick intake of air made me hide my face in my hands. “Jessa, you want to kiss Jeremy Dillion?”
“No,” I said through my hands which made it sound muffled.
Lane pulled my hands from my face and made me look at him again. “Why Jeremy?”
“Ugh, I don’t know. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m the only fourteen-year-old that hasn’t ever kissed anyone. I mean, you’ve kissed what, three girls? I’m such a loser.”
I could tell Lane was trying everything he had in him to not laugh at me, and he was honestly doing a pretty good job. “Jeremy Dillion doesn’t deserve your first kiss, Jessa. Besides, your names are too easy to make fun of together.”
Rolling my eyes, I swatted his shoulder and went to stand-up. “Wait.”
The sudden plea in his voice made me sit back down quickly, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t still embarrassed. “I’m sorry, it’s just that, I’ve heard things about Jeremy. You don’t want him to be your first kiss. There’s a rumor going around that he’s all tongue.”
“Eww!” I said laughing, which also got a good one out of him. “That’s gross.” We were both smiling when I noticed that Lane kept looking down at my lips. “What are you looking at?”
Lane closed his eyes tightly, and then took in a deep breath. “Jessa, if you want a first kiss, I’ll be the one. You know, your first kiss?” He opened his eyes again and met my stare. He was serious.
A million different thoughts went spiraling through my mind. Kiss Lane? Honestly, that thought really never even occurred to me. But, why not? Lane wasn’t horrible looking, in fact, the past year he really had started to change a lot. His boyish looks are starting to look more mature, but still. Kiss Lane? “I don’t know about that.”
Lane looked hurt and put his hand over his chest. “What, am I not good enough for you?” I pretended to play punch his arm, but when he grabbed my hand, I knew it was going to happen. Lane was looking at me differently. Like, he might have actually wanted to kiss me, too.
“Okay, but just this once. We can never talk about it to anyone, and I mean anyone. We also can’t get all weird around each other, promise?” Lane just nodded and ran his tongue across his lips, staring at my mouth the entire time. “Also, no laughing at my kissing ability. I’m a beginner.”
Lane reached his hand out and gently placed it behind my neck, sending a slight tremor of chills down my back. “What are you doing?” I whispered.
“This is how they do it on movies,” he said just as quietly, and soon he was leaning in.
I knew I was supposed to close my eyes, but I had to keep them open to make sure I didn’t miss his mouth. A few second later, Lane’s wet lips barely brushed against mine. I started to panic because we never talked about what kind of kiss this was going to be. Was he going to use his tongue? I didn’t have enough time to think anymore, because just when I was about to pull back and ask, Lane’s tongue ran against the crease of my lips, instinctively opening them. It was like our mouths were meant to do this, that they took over for us and knew exactly what to do. Lane’s grip on my neck became tighter, and a funny feeling started to form between my thighs. His kiss felt good, way too good.
I pulled back quickly and we both were breathing extremely hard. “Was that a good first kiss?” I ask stupidly, because maybe it was for me, but it could have totally sucked for him.
“I don’t know? I think we should try it again?” I laughed, but he was serious.
“You really want to kiss me again?”
“Yes,” was all he got out before we heard someone yell inside of his house. “Shit!” we both said in unison, making us jump up off the step and stumble back onto his sidewalk.
“I didn’t think your parents were home,” I stammered, concerned that they may have just witnessed our first kiss.
“Shh, keep your voice down. I didn’t think they were either. My dad should be in town.”
Lately, Lane’s parents had been fighting more and more. His mother was one of the sweetest ladies I’d ever met, but it seemed like every time I was over at his house, their yelling eventually made us go elsewhere.
“Ms. Mayes, do I need to repeat my question?” My eyes snapped up quickly to my math teacher, who was standing at the board in my AP class, pointing to a problem with a long, wooden stick. Crap, I was totally zoned out. “Yes, sir.” I said, which earned a few snickers from my fellow classmates. Lane was really messing with my mind. Thinking about our first kiss when we were only four
teen made me reach up slowly and touch my lips. But then I thought about his little kager, and my furry was back.
***
Later that afternoon after volleyball practice, I walked out to the school parking lot with Kami and I didn’t see Lane anywhere. He’d been getting a ride home with Kathy freaking King, and it pissed me off more and more each time. Why did she get him back, but I didn’t? Why was he letting her in, of all people?
“Well, I’m out of here. Thanks for listening to me at practice today. I don’t know what to do about him.” Kami just gave me a huge, sqeezey hug and told me to call her after I chewed Lane out.
The drive home only made me even more irate, and by the time I walked through the front door, my temper was at its maximum capacity. Luckily, the bimbo didn’t stay and came straight back. When we passed each other on the highway, I didn’t give on crap if she saw me give her the middle finger. Screw them all.
When I walked up my stairs later that evening, I could hear Lane’s music in his room, so I knew he was in home. It was our first night home alone together, and even though I told myself that I was going to just leave him alone for the next four days, to pretend he didn’t even come back, his little party had me too fired up to not say anything. You could tell my dad was upset that he was leaving me home alone with Lane, but I assured him that everything was going to go smoothly. It helped that Lane had barely said ten words to me since moving back here. Besides the time in my pick-up on that first day of school, he acted like I wasn’t even around.
Walking quickly to his bedroom door, I banged on it loudly, knowing that he could hear me over his music. “Lane, come out here!” I yelled and took a few steps back. When he didn’t answer me, it only made me angrier. “Lane, I know you can hear me. Open your damn door!” I screamed and hit his door even harder. “Open this door or I swear to you I’ll get a – “