“What?” he asked right as he opened his door, making his face only inches away from mine.
Standing up straight, I smoothed out my tight, spandex shorts and gathered all the courage I had. For some reason looking at him didn’t make me feel as bad ass as I did a few seconds ago. “We need to talk, now.” I said, and turned on my heels down the hallway that led to the staircase. “Meet me in the living room.”
I walked off, not looking behind me. However, I knew he was following me because I could hear his heavy footsteps.
“Yes?” he asked, which made me whip around, pointing a finger right in front of his face.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I asked, and glared at him with all the fury I could muster up.
“Is this a trick question?” My glare must have been a little powerful, because he looked away from me, and cleared his throat. “No, Jessa. I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Good, because I was starting to question your intelligence. I mean, you did get held back in first grade.”
“Really? You’re going to bring that up?” He asked, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Now who’s being immature?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose didn’t help as much as I’d hope it would, but it did give me a chance to recollect my thoughts. “Sorry, I just meant that I know about the party you’re throwing here. It could get us both in so much trouble. You don’t think that teachers haven’t heard by now that it’s happening? I don’t want to miss any games because of this.”
Lane was eerily quiet. Maybe he understood my concerns, or maybe he didn’t care about me at all. Walking over to the huge bay window in the living room, I had no idea what in the world he was thinking. So what he said next surprised the heck out of me.
“I didn’t even think about that. We’ll move the party. Maybe down by the lake, so you won’t have to worry about getting caught with alcohol.”
In the past few weeks, this was the nicest Lane had been to me. I could feel my eyes water, and my damn was about two seconds away from breaking. “Thank you.” I knew he could hear the waver in my voice, and when I turned around, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Jessa, why are you crying? I told you that I’d move the party.”
Waving him off, I walked quickly into the kitchen, trying to get away from his prying eyes. “It’s not that,” I said quickly and grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter.
“Then what is it? Shit, I’ve only seen you cry like two times.”
One of those times was the last time we saw each other, but that didn’t matter. His stone façade was set then, and my tears wouldn’t do anything against it. “Nothing, and thank you.” I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm, making me turn to face him.
“Look, I know this is uncomfortable as hell, but I’ll be gone soon. I literally had nowhere else to go, but I’ll be out of here in a few short months. Then you’ll never have to think of me, or see me again.”
Lane was a really smart guy, even though he was held back a grade. He had a little trouble with reading at first, but then his mind took off. If he would have put forth a little effort in school, there would be no doubt in my mind that he could have worked toward a full ride to a university. “You aren’t very smart, are you?” I asked, and finally looked up at him with my wet, red-rimmed eyes.
He let go of my arm and took a step back. “What do you mean?”
Clueless. That’s what he was. “You think I haven’t wanted to see you? That I haven’t missed you every single day? You were my best friend, Lane. Then one day, you weren’t. Do you know how hard that was for me? And now you’re back, but you’re not. You’ll let that dumb, blonde bimbo in, but not me? I guess you’re right, it is only a few short months. And then I’ll never think of you again. I’ll finally rid you of my life, if that’s what you really want?”
That made Lane snap. He grabbed both of my shoulders and pushed me up against the kitchen counter. “And you don’t think it was hard for me to leave? To leave the best thing in my life? You have no idea what my real life was like, because I always felt the need to protect you. I know exactly why my mom left my dad, but did you? Did you ever hear the real reason?”
Lane wasn’t hurting me, but his actions were alarming. Did I even have a clue what he really went on behind their closed doors? I knew enough, but probably nothing close to the real extent. “I know a little,” I said softly and hung my head down.
He loosened his grip on me, and slid his hands down to my waist. “So you know that my mom was my dad’s punching bag when he drank too much, or that he would get so mad at her, that throwing her down the stairs was the one thing that seemed to release some of his pent up anger?”
I gasped and brought my eyes up to his. “I didn’t know it was quite that bad.”
“That bad? Oh, that’s nothing. When we moved to Colorado, he didn’t have her anymore. He had me. Except, I wasn’t as frail as her. I would actually fight back. It only took one hit to his face to get the point across that I wouldn’t take his shit. The past few years weren’t hell, but they were pretty damn close.”
“Lane,” I said and place my hands over his. “I wish you would have talked to me.” My tears were back, streaming down my face. I had no idea it was that bad in his home. His dad had a slight drinking problem, everyone knew that, but Janice was pretty good at covering up the abuse.
“Really? Do you think if we would have stayed here, that my dad would have just let your old man have his woman that easily? I had to get him out of here, to talk him into getting a job far away, so he couldn’t hurt any of you. I left for you all, and it had to be that way.”
I couldn’t stop my tears, and knowing everything that he’d gone through didn’t help. There also wasn’t much more that I could say. He didn’t just leave because of anger, he left because he felt like that was the only thing he could do to keep us safe.
“Don’t cry, Jessa. Shit, I hate seeing you like this.”
I wanted to believe him; to think that what he was saying was true. Maybe it was? But then why be such a jerk? “I don’t believe you. You’ve been so cruel to me.”
Lane laid his forehead gently on mine, and let out a long breath. “I’m so sorry, Jess. It’s just that, when I saw our parents together, I knew what that meant. That they would probably end up moving in together and that would make us step-siblings. Our future was ruined, and it was the only way I could manage. Hating you was my only option of getting over you.”
I pushed him back, and couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “What do you mean, ruined our future? We could have still been best friends. We could have been there for each other.”
“Best friends?”
“Yes, best friends. Or, at least I thought we were.”
Lane looked defeated, and I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind. “Yeah, we were. I really am sorry for the way I’ve been treating you, but I need you to do something for me. Something very important.”
“And what’s that?” I asked and wiped a final tear that had broken free.
“Call Bradly and break up with him.”
I couldn’t help it and did the last thing I thought was possible. I laughed, and looked at him like he was crazy. “Why in the world would I do that?”
“Because he’s not right for you.”
Slapping him across his face was more of an outer body experience, but I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You have some nerve, Lane Rhyer.”
And with that, I stomped out of the kitchen.
Chapter Seven
Lane and I didn’t speak for the rest of the evening. In fact, I couldn’t even concentrate on anything at all. Homework was shot to hell, talking to anyone on the phone was pointless, because all I could think of was what Lane had told me in the kitchen. He’d finally opened up to me, but then h
e had the edacity to tell me to break up with my boyfriend? Who does that? I was just about to climb into bed when my phone chimed. Smiling, I knew it was from Brady, telling me goodnight.
Except, when I swiped the green bar across my phone, the text was from an unrecognizable number.
I told you to break up with Bradly because I’m going to kiss you. And when I do, I don’t want anyone in our way.
My eyes had to have been bulging out of my head, because that text was the last thing I expected to read. Kiss me? I did not see that coming.
Looking back and rereading that text a hundred times didn’t help it make any more sense. Kiss me? The only problem was that his text started to do funny things to me, and the pull to go to him was so strong that I had no idea what to do. Did I want him to kiss me? My answer was yes. I did. The weird part was that I found myself dialing Brady’s number, without even giving it a second thought.
“Hey, Babe. Calling to tell me goodnight?”
Hearing his voice made me question what the hell I was doing, but in all honesty, I knew he wasn’t the guy for me. Brady was easy and convenient, and it wasn’t fair to him that I didn’t have the same feelings toward our relationship. I was doing this, as crazy as it was.
“Hi, Brady. No, I’m not. I was actually calling to tell you that I think we should break up.” I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes tightly.
The call went silent, but I knew he was still there because I could hear him breathing. “Why?”
Shit, this was harder than I thought it was going to be. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it at all until about two seconds ago. But now I was committed. “I’ve been thinking about this for some time, and I don’t want to lead you on anymore. I just don’t feel that way about you. You deserve to be with someone who’s going to love you. That just isn’t me.”
“Who is he?” Brady’s tone became serious, and I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Who’s who?” I asked.
“The guy you’re breaking up with me for. Does he go to our school, because I don’t think I could watch you be with another guy, Jessa?”
I let out a huge sigh. “It’s just over, okay? I want to break-up.”
“Fine, but he won’t treat you as good as I did. I hope you know that.” And with that, the line went dead.
Chapter Eight
I only made it another hour before I was sneaking out of my room and tiptoeing to Lane’s. When we were kids, Lane would sometimes crawl into my room through a window when he said he couldn’t sleep. I always thought we’d get caught, but we never did.
Nerves were rampaging through my body when I gently pushed on his door, surprised when it slowly creaked open. Was Lane awake? Did he know I’d come to him?
I didn’t say a word as I crept across his floor, making out his bed through the moonlight. When I slid into his bed, I could feel the heat radiating off his body just like it used to.
He didn’t say a word as he turned towards me, looking at me straight in the eyes.
“Remember when you would sneak into my room sometimes, when we were kids?”
“Yes.” His voice was gravelly, and so different than the voice I’d etched into my memory.
“Was it because of your dad?”
“Did you break up with Bradly?” Our silence filled the room, making both of our chests heave like we couldn’t get our next breath. Lane brushed a piece of my hair that had fallen across my face, and tucked it safely behind my ear. “Did you?”
I had to use everything in me to finally speak, because I didn’t know what this really would mean for us. “Yes,” I whispered, and closed my eyes.
Lane’s arm wrapped around my body, bringing me closer to him, making our bodies press against each other. “Jessa, you may have been my best friend when we were kids, but you also meant so much more to me. You have no idea how much I died inside when I had to move away from you, but I also knew that growing up around you as a step-brother would be even harder.”
When I opened my eyes to find him as serious as could be, I knew that he was right. We may have been best friends, but we were also both going through some major changes our last summer together. “We could have made it work. I hate that you left, and that you had to endure such horrible situations with your father. I had no idea, Lane. I would have come to you.”
Lane’s deep breath pulled me closer to him, and soon he was leaning forward which made me match his movements. Our lips brushed softly against each other and it brought me back to our first kiss, almost four year ago. Except, this wasn’t the fifteen-year-old boy that was kissing me, this was a man. A man who obviously had different feelings for me than he let on.
Our mouths weren’t strangers, and like before, they completely took over. It was as if Lane was nervous about that kiss, that if he stopped, I would suddenly disappear. However, when our mouths both parted and our tongues met once again, I swear fireworks went off in his room. I’d obviously kissed Brady, but it was never like how Lane kissed me.
Just when I thought things were going to heat up, Lane pulled back and sat up on his elbow. “God, I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea how hard it was staying away from you.”
“I wish you wouldn’t have. I feel like I missed four years with you. Four years that I’ll never get back.”
Lane sat up in his bed, showcasing his beautifully chiseled chest. Damn, he’d definitely done some growing up. “Come here,” he said and pulled me up beside him. “I know I’ve been harsh, and it’s going to take me a long time to make this all up to you, but you have to understand I did the best thing for all of us. We’re together now, and I’m tired of trying to hate you. I can’t do it anymore, because it’s been slowly killing me inside.”
I couldn’t help it, but I had to bring up his own little girlfriend. “What about Kathy King?”
Lane chuckled a little and leaned forward, placing a little peck on my nose. “She’s nothing, Jessa. Just a distraction, but that’s it. I never even laid a hand on her, because she’s not you. No one has ever been you.”
I wasn’t sure I was hearing him right. No one? “Wait, you’ve never been with another girl?”
Lane shook his head and smiled at me. “And trust me, I tried. They just always felt wrong. None of them had your soft, golden blonde hair.” His rough, calloused hand reached forward and ran gently through my long locks, sending chills down my back. “And I could never find eyes as blue as yours. Eyes that can see everything inside of me, and know everything without even asking.” Leaning forward and placing a kiss on both of my temples did something extremely amazing to my heart. “And no one had lips like these,” and when he placed his mouth on mine, everything stopped spinning. My world made sense again.
Chapter Nine
“What in the world are we going to tell our parents?” I looked frantically between Lane and the bowl of Lucky Charms I’d just filled full of milk.
“We aren’t going to say anything. I’m pretty sure your dad will shoot me, and I’m not even joking.”
Laughing at his morbid comment really didn’t make me feel any better, but it did lighten the mood for a split second. “I don’t know, Lane. This seems impossible to hide. Our parents aren't stupid; they’re going to catch on.”
Lane leaned forward and gave me another one of his sweet kisses. “You worry too much. We’ll have to be careful for the next nine months, that’s all. Then, we’re going to go with my original plan. A plan I created back before I moved away.”
“You created a plan for our future when you were fifteen?”
Lane wiggled his eyebrows at me and looked straight down at my chest. “Hey, perve! Eyes up here,” I laughed and swatted at his shoulder.
“Remember when you flashed me out at the swimming hole?”
I nodded quickly and shoved a spoon full of cereal in my mouth, h
oping that my rosie cheeks didn’t give away my embarrassment.
“Well, that was by far one of the best moments of my life, and I decided right then and there that I was going to marry you someday. Because there was no way in hell that some other guy was going to be able to look at your boobs.”
“Lane!” I laughed and covered my face with my hands. “I can’t believe you thought that.”
As he moved my hands away from my face, he brought my gaze up to his. “I’d known for a while that I was developing real feelings for you back when we were kids. It wouldn’t have mattered to me how your chest developed. I knew I was going to love whatever you showed me, and I also knew that I didn’t want anyone else to have them. To say I’ve been going crazy about you having a boyfriend is an understatement.”
“I wish you would have told me. You always seemed to just tease me whenever anything different happened between us.”
“I was a fifteen-year-old punk,” he laughed and stole a spoonful of my cereal. “I also have to tell you that I haven’t been the best behaved person for the past few years. But, Jess, you make me want to be better. I promise I’ll be better for you.”
I looked at Lane and was thankful that we’d had our blowout this past weekend. I was also thankful that I’d talked him out of having his stupid party.
We only had about five minute until we needed to leave for school, but I couldn’t help the moment we were in, and I pulled his face down to me. “Kiss me,” I said and didn’t waste a second when he finally found my lips.
Lane told me that we weren’t going to do anything we’d regret while he was living with me, but he made me want more. He made me want everything with me.
“Okay, okay. We better stop or we’ll both be skipping school today,” he said with a grunt and had to quickly readjust his shorts.