Chapter 11
The telephone rang before Tatiana's alarm clock went off. She entertained throwing it to the wall, but then realized it could be an emergency.
Is mama okay?
“Hello,” Tatiana said anxiously.
“Where were you last night?”
“Randy?”
“Who the hell else would it be?”
“Why are you calling me at this hour?” Tatiana asked, irritated.
“Are you there alone?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“I went over last night and waited for you for an hour. Where were you?”
“It's none of your business, but I was having dinner with Nydia.”
“What do you mean it's none of my business? I'm your boyfriend.”
Tatiana groaned. “It was typical of you showing up last night without calling.”
“I shouldn't have to call you,” Randy snapped.
“You shouldn't be taking me for granted.”
“But—”
“Let's stop this merry-go-round. I'm tired of arguing with you. There’s something very important I need to see you about.”
“What is it?” he asked apprehensively.
“I don’t want to discuss this now. I need to see you in person.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“Randy, let’s meet tonight and—“
“Tell me now!” he demanded.
“But—”
“NOW!”
“Okay, I’ll tell you—we're over.”
“You don't mean that,” Randy murmured with a shaky voice.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” he snapped.
“Randy, I mean what I say.”
“You can’t do this.”
“Yes, I can,” Tatiana stated.
“But we're perfect together. I've never met a woman like you. You're everything to me, and the life we're going to build together will be great. Please don't throw it away. Please.”
“We're over, Randy. Accept it!”
“You freakin’ witch!!! How dare you dump me, you bitch!”
“Don’t ever speak to me like that!!!”
“I speak to you like I want to speak to you!” Randy sneered.
“No you don’t.” Tatiana hung up the phone and disconnected it. She shook her head.
What a way to start the morning.
Tatiana's alarm clock rang bringing her out of her thoughts. Turning it off, she returned to her thoughts.
It’s time to move on, one way or another.
When Tatiana arrived at the office, Nydia was fuming. Nydia explained that Mr. Pauling, their client, was supposed to get a packet that Nydia, herself, had put together. Judith was going to mail it but instead Suzanne had asked Augusta to do it. When he didn't get it, he called and was obnoxiously talked down to by Augusta.
“He said that as long as Augusta is here, he'll never use our agency again!” Nydia snapped.
“What does Bill say about this?”
“He's not here yet.”
“Maybe if Suzanne calls Mr. Pauling she can save the account,” suggested Tatiana.
“He won't speak to her. At least he spoke to me.”
“This situation is ridiculous,” announced Tatiana, marching briskly to Suzanne's office with Nydia following her. Augusta and Suzanne looked at them with surprise when Tatiana swung the door open after Suzanne had called, “Come in,” upon hearing the knock on her door.
“So you're having a meeting?” asked Nydia.
Suzanne looked like a deer with its eyes caught in the headlights. “We were just discussing the Pauling account.”
“Shouldn't we be in this meeting?” Tatiana asked. “After all it was our account.”
“Of course,” Suzanne said. “We were about to get you.”
When Tatiana sat down, Augusta sprang up, staying close to the door. Nydia eyed her with a ‘don't mess with me look’ and also stood at the door knowing how Augusta was about making fast get-a-ways.
Augusta crossed her arms over her chest and had the condescending look on her face everyone hated. If you could travel inside her head, you would see steel doors everywhere. Her husband had a substantial portion of her mind, and then her son after him. But the biggest was reserved for her own rotted, smelly insecurities. The rest of the world was squeezed into the corners.
Even with her defensive stance, she had already looked at what both Tatiana and Nydia were wearing. She had noticed how many chips were in Nydia's nail polish, and the small wrinkles already on Tatiana's cotton white blouse.
“There is no use getting all upset over this,” Suzanne said. “Mistakes are bound to happen.”
“It was Judith's fault. She should've been the one to mail that packet in the first place,” growled Augusta.
“How dare you blame her for what you didn't do,” Nydia declared.
“Let's not assert blame anywhere,” Suzanne said.
“What do you mean?” Tatiana asked. “You're going to let Augusta blame an innocent person. She's probably already convinced you that it wasn't her fault even when you yourself told her to mail it.”
Augusta jumped in. “I do my job well! I work harder than anyone. You know that, Suzanne. I—”
“Augusta, I'm not blaming anybody,” declared Suzanne. “ We have to get past this. Sometimes no matter how much we try, we still lose a client.”
“We shouldn't have lost him!” exclaimed Nydia.
“We're concentrating on the wrong thing,” Tatiana asserted.
“What do you mean?” Suzanne asked.
“I don't see why I should have to put up with this,” stated Augusta, sighing.
“Because it's your fault we lost a client!!!” Nydia exclaimed.
“Everybody calm down,” Suzanne implored.
“What I mean,” Tatiana explained, “is that the main problem was not actually the packet because one of us could've driven it over when it wasn't mailed. Why it wasn't mailed? I don't know, but let's just drop that for the moment. The main problem is how Augusta spoke to Mr. Pauling.”
“What do you mean?” asked Suzanne.
“I was professional. He was the one who was rude to me,” announced Augusta, sighing.
“Professional? You don't know the meaning of the word,” Nydia retorted. “Mr. Pauling said you were rude and condescending when all he wanted to know was when he would receive the package.”
“Suzanne, you know how some clients can get. You've told me I don't have to take any abuse,” Augusta said.
“What about them taking your abuse?” snapped Nydia.
“Mr. Pauling is one of the nicest men I know. In the year he's been with this agency, I've never heard him say an ugly word,” Tatiana proclaimed. “He's a kind Christian man. Augusta clearly offended him.”
“I don't know why I have to put up with this, Suzanne. They're the ones who neglect their job,” stated Augusta.
“What?!” Tatiana and Nydia snapped in unison.
Suzanne put a hand up as if trying to stop what was coming next. “Augusta, let's—”
“I'm sorry, Suzanne, but I've got to say it. These two do nothing all day. I've got to handle their clients.”
Nydia was too furious to speak and was doing her best not to hit Augusta.
Tatiana stood up from her chair. “What do you mean you handle our clients? Most of them can't stand you.” Her face turned to Suzanne. “You know that's true, Suzanne, because you're the one who receives their complaints.”
“You know I'm a professional, Suzanne,” declared Augusta, sniffing.
Nydia found her voice. “How dare you question the way we do our jobs when you don't do anything until Suzanne gets here. Or let me re-phrase that, all you do is spread ugly gossip, sigh, and burn everyone's ears with stories about your pathetic home life and yourself. Everyone else has to pitch in to do your job. You're not a secretary. You
're a sucketary.” Nydia strode to Suzanne's desk. “Her questioning the way we perform our jobs is beyond insulting.”
“I've got work to do. I don't have time to sit here and listen to this.” Augusta proclaimed as she rushed out the door.
Tatiana closed the door. She decided Augusta could sweat it out if she wanted to know what they were saying about her. She was the one who had left the meeting.
“What are you going to do about this, Suzanne?” Nydia questioned with crossed arms over her chest.
“She's done nothing but insult our clients and us,” Tatiana affirmed.
“I'll have a talk with her.”
“A talk?” Nydia asked incredulously.
“Let's all calm down,” Suzanne said. “Let's go to breakfast.”
“But—” Nydia started to say.
“Actually, I think it's a good idea,” Tatiana stated as she nodded her head at Nydia.
“Okay, let's go then,” blurted Nydia, wondering what Tatiana was up to.
When they were stepping out the door, Augusta stopped what she was pretending to do and openly stared at them leaving. “We're going to breakfast, Augusta,” Tatiana told her wryly.
Augusta's mouth flung open, and she looked shell shocked. Tatiana winked at Nydia who smiled. Judith gave them the thumbs up sign when they left the front door.
At El Rancho restaurant, they made small talk until they ordered their breakfast.
“I'm at the end of my rope with Augusta,” Nydia declared.
“I know she can be trying at times,” Suzanne stated.
“Do you really know this? Or are you just telling us that you do to be diplomatic?” Nydia asked.
“Nydia, of course I know she's got personality problems.”
“Then why do you keep her on?” asked Tatiana.
“She's my administrative assistant. There are duties she takes care for me that only she can do.”
“Like what?” questioned Nydia.
Suzanne was flustered. “She. . . Well, she. . . she, she—”
“I'll tell you what she does. She offends people to no end, twists that office into the unpleasant place it is, and constantly tries to convince you of how valuable she is to you. It apparently works because you can't tell me what her special duties are, but yet you defend her with your life,” Nydia announced.
“You don't need a bad cop to your good cop, Suzanne,” blurted Tatiana. “You run one of the most successful advertising agencies in El Paso. You don't need her for confidence.”
Suzanne became irritated. “I don't use her for confidence. Augusta is more vulnerable than you think she is, and she needs my help. She needs all of our help.”
“Why can't you see that she can't be helped,” Nydia retorted.
“What do you mean? Everybody can use help sometimes,” Suzanne asserted.
“A person can only save themselves,” Tatiana stated. “You can't save someone who doesn't admit to their problems, who refuses to look at themselves in the mirror.”
“I've had many talks with her. She's coming along. She's not as curt with clients as she was before,” Suzanne assured.
“This conversation is going nowhere,” Nydia blurted. “What are we doing here anyway?”
“We're having a constructive conversation,” Suzanne asserted. “Both of you are so valuable to the agency. We've all built it up together. I hate to see you upset like this. Short of firing anybody, what can I do to make this better?”
“If you won't get rid of her, then keep her away from my clients! And keep her away from me!” Nydia exclaimed.
“Okay,” Suzanne said.
“The same goes for me,” Tatiana chimed in.
“Consider it done.”
After they returned from breakfast, Suzanne had a private meeting with Augusta who came out of Suzanne's office looking condescending and grim. Nydia made cracks about how Suzanne probably soft shoed everything, making Augusta into the victim by telling her that Tatiana and Nydia were needed at the agency, so they had to humor them.
“You never know whose team Suzanne is ever playing for,” Nydia declared. “She tries to appease everyone around her.”
Tatiana nodded, wondering if this situation would ever be resolved. Apparently it was too much for Suzanne because after her private meeting with Augusta, she made an exit and left the office staff with the human crab. Now Tatiana knew how those people who got stuck on a raft in the middle of the ocean with a shark circling them felt. Augusta tried to get Judith to join her for lunch, probably to bad mouth Tatiana and Nydia, but Judith turned her down. She went with Nydia and Tatiana instead.
“I was there when she spoke to Mr. Pauling,” Judith said. “She was the epitome of rude.” Then she told them nonchalantly. “I've broken up with Jack.”
It was obvious by her stance that she didn't want to talk about it, so they changed the subject. Instead, they made light conversation.
Judith had so much inside of her, she was scared that even a crack in the armor she'd worked hard to build around herself would eventually get bigger and make everything come tumbling out. She'd had a lifetime of destructive behavior when it came to men. When Tatiana and Nydia had that intervention with her, her life started to jolt her.
Jack was only the latest in a long string of 'bad boy' men of which she had worshipped at their feet, grateful for any morsel of attention they bestowed upon her. She would sit at home waiting for Jack and sometimes he privileged her with his presence, and other times he didn't. She listened intently to his bravado about how he was straightening out the office. She soothed him about the shrewdness of his 'ungrateful' wife.
“I need to know you'll always be there for me. I can't count on anybody else,” he would often say.
She showered him with promises of forever worship but deep inside felt wrong about it. Listening to another male worshipper started to make Judith think about her own behavior. Sometimes when Augusta told her about the latest way she was taking care of her husband, making supreme sacrifices for his happiness, Judith wanted to say, “Stop playing the martyr bit. You're not a good wife. You're a foolish one.” But if Augusta's complete subjugation to her husband made her lacking in sense, then what about herself and the way she acted around Jack?
Was he the person Judith thought he was? What about the way he had treated Magda? Judith was loyal to Magda since it had been her who had trained her on the computer. While Augusta was at Judith's desk all the time, she didn't show her anything about the running of the office even if she was the head administrative assistant. Judith had had to rely on others for the ins and outs of her job.
Judith was still upset with Augusta for having spread Magda’s personal business around the office. Tatiana and Nydia were right about her. It still stung Judith when she remembered Augusta's comments about Beatrice's African American heritage.
“Those people are promiscuous. I wouldn't be surprised if Beatrice is all Christian on the outside but at night, she grabs any man in front of her.”
Judith was so distressed that she couldn't get any words out, and what Augusta said about Tatiana and Nydia made her skin crawl.
“They should go back to Mexico,” Augusta announced.
“They were born here. They're as American as we are,” Judith stated.
“They're not anything like us. Our ancestors go way back to the Mayflower and Plymouth Rock. What do they go back to? Wetbacks, all of them.”
“I'll tell you where they go back to. Their ancestors were here before the Mayflower landed,” snapped Judith.
When Judith had talked to Suzanne about the racial comments, Suzanne had told her that Augusta didn't mean them.
“She doesn't know what she said,” Suzanne expressed.
“It sounded like she knew exactly what she was saying.”
“But she doesn't.”
“We live in El Paso, Suzanne. Augusta's been here all her life. Shouldn't we
be more understanding of different cultures?”
“She means no harm, Judith.”
“Regardless if she means no harm, she's still doing harm to others.”
“I'll talk to her,” Suzanne said smugly.
After lunch, Augusta stared at Tatiana, Nydia, and Judith as they walked into the agency. Then she tried to sit with Judith, but Judith told the human crab she was too busy to chat. Augusta gave her a dejected look. Tatiana shuddered to think what kind of revenge Augusta would brew and all in the name of, ‘I'm concerned about Judith’.
Tatiana decided to leave early. When she headed towards the elevator, she figured the horrendous day was over but then when she climbed on, she was cornered by Randy's brother. Unfortunately, they were alone.
“I'm glad I have a chance to speak to you,” he stated grimly.
“Yes?”
“It's about Randy. You need to stop seeing him.”
“I guess your brother hasn't had a chance to inform you.”
“Inform me of what?”
“I've stopped seeing him as of this morning.”
He let out a breath. “Good.”
“Good? I guess you thought I wasn't good enough for him.”
“I just think some things are plain wrong.”
The elevator stopped, and they stepped off.
“Plain wrong? You don't even know me,” Tatiana said.
He looked puzzled. “He didn't tell you, did he?”
“Tell me what?”
“About his circumstances.”
Tatiana’s eyes opened wide with inquiry. “Circumstances?”
“He didn't tell you about his wife in California?”
The air was completely knocked out of Tatiana. “What?”
“He's a married man.”
“I would've never gone out with him if I had known.”
“He keeps floundering, going from job to job, and his wife got tired of his aimlessness, so she threw him out of the house. He moved here and my other brother and I are trying to get him to straighten out.”
“I didn't know this.”
“Even if he's separated from his wife, I don't think it's right for him to see you. When a man makes a commitment, he should keep it. I've been married for twenty years and when there's trouble, we work it out.”
“You don't have to worry about me anymore because I can assure you I will never go out with your brother again.”
“That’s a relief.”
“You can be sure of my word.”
He nodded. “I apologize if I've been rude to you. I should've known that you weren't aware of his circumstances.”
Tristan smiled at Irma as she started eating her steak. They were at the Sizzlin’ Steaks restaurant and he felt he had finally gotten it right with Irma. He looked forward to his dates with her.
“How’s your steak?” he asked.
“Delicious. How’s yours?”
“I haven’t tasted it yet,” he said, chuckling.
What a day. Tatiana relaxed on her sofa wondering if she should pull the covers over her head but as she was contemplating suicide by affixation inside her blankets, she heard a knock on her door. Tatiana opened it to find her mother with a worried expression on her face.
“I've been calling. Is your phone out of order, Tati?” Candida asked, barging in.
“No, I haven't been answering.”
“Why?”
“I've had a rough day.”
She picked up the TV dinner from the cocktail table. “Is this what you're eating?”
“I'm not really eating it. I'm not hungry.”
“No wonder with this stuff. I'll make you something, Tati.” She headed for the kitchen.
“Mama, please don't. I already told you, I'm not hungry.”
“I'll make you something delicious. I promise it'll awaken your appetite and in the meantime, you can tell me what happened today.”
“Mama—”
There was another knock on her door. Whatever happened to privacy?
When Tatiana opened it, she found Randy looking upset.
“You can't break up with me. I won't let you,” he stated.
Tatiana's head was exploding. What's up with this day? Is the earth on some strange axis? Will this day ever end?
“Randy, I don't want to go over it with you again. Just leave.”
“I'm not going anywhere.”
Candida strode to the door holding a rolling pin as if it was a weapon. “I suggest you leave,” she snapped.
“Who is this?” asked Randy.
“I'm Tatiana's mother.”
“I'm so happy to meet you,” he gushed. “But haven't we met before, Mrs. Salinas?”
“That's Ms. Perez. I don’t carry that shit-of-a-man's name anymore. The reason you know me is that we've met in an elevator,” Candida grumbled.
“Ms. Perez—” he started to say.
“Mama, I need some privacy,” Tatiana explained while she stepped outside. Randy would never enter her home again if she could help it.
“Are you sure?” Candida asked.
“Yes.”
Candida eyeballed Randy and raised the rolling pin at him. “I'll only be a few steps away if you need anything.”
Tatiana closed the door and laid into him. “I saw your brother today at work, and he told me everything.”
He nervously looked to the ground. “What?”
“Your brother told me about your wife in California.”
He regained his composure. “I don't have a wife in California.”
“Then why would he tell me such a thing?”
“He doesn’t want me to date you. I don't have a wife.”
“Stop lying to me!”
“I'm not lying to you. Please, Baby, now listen. You and I should be together. There's no reason to be fighting like this.”
“You'll have me believe that your brother made everything up?'
“He did.”
“I don't believe you. You're the liar, not him.”
“Baby, I love you so much. I—”
Tatiana turned around. “This is over. Leave.”
“Wait.” He put his hand on the door knob, so Tatiana wouldn't open it. “Okay, it's true, but my marriage is kaput. Kaput! I'll get a divorce if you ask me to.”
“If I ask you to?” Tatiana asked, choking on the words. “What's wrong with you? Even if you would get a divorce sanctified by the pope himself, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole.”
“Why?” asked Randy, hurt.
“You're inconsiderate, unreliable, flaky, superficial, and a liar to boot. I'd go out with Benedict Arnold before I went out with you again.”
“You can't go out with him. He's dead.”
“Then, I'd date his corpse before I dated you again.”
“Baby, I only lied because you’re hell bent on not understanding my situation.”
Would it be considered murder if I choke him? 'But judge, it was self defense. He was attacking my intelligence.'
“You need to leave,” Tatiana demanded.
“But, Baby—”
“Ms. Salinas is everything okay?” asked the guard who kept an eye on the apartments.
“Mr. Durbin is about to leave, aren't you, Mr. Durbin?” Tatiana declared.
“But—”
“The guard will happily escort you off the premises,” growled Tatiana.
Randy nodded his head dejectedly. “Okay, I’ll leave,” he almost whispered.
“If you ever come back, Randy, I'll get a restraining order. Is that clear?”
He nodded with disconsolation as he left. Tatiana mouthed a thank you to the guard who stayed until Randy left. Tatiana stepped back into her apartment. She had to admit that whatever her mom was cooking smelled delicious.
“Is everything okay?” Candida asked.
Tatiana nodded. “You can put down that rolling pin. What were you going to do with it any
way? Make him a tortilla?”
“He's lucky I didn't knock him upside the head with it.”
“Ay, Mama!”
Tatiana sat down to have a dinner of crispy chicken tacos. Her mother made a gourmet dish with leftovers.
“This is really good, Mama.”
“Thank you.” She flicked Tatiana’s cheek. “I'll always be there for you.”
Tatiana stared at her letting those words roll inside of her.
“Tatiana, is there something you want to say?”
“No.”
“Haven't I always been there for you?”
“Let's drop this,” Tatiana stated.
“If you have something to tell me then tell me.”
“But—”
“Let it out before it eats you alive, my daughter.”
Tatiana eyed her mother a few moments before speaking. “I'll never have a good relationship with a man and you know why?”
“Because men are shit.”
“There you go!”
“What?”
“Since I was a child you and dad filled me up with all this crap,” Tatiana asserted. “How can I stop attracting the wrong kind of men if that's all I know about them? I'm doomed.”
“No, Tati, you're not—”
“I was raised in the household from hell. Why did you wait so long to divorce dad?” Tatiana questioned.
Candida's eyes were moist. “I kept thinking your dad would change. And I thought divorce would stigmatize you. I'm sorry.”
“And what's up with making me look unattractive?”
“I didn't want you to be about your looks. When I saw how beautiful you were becoming, I dreaded what your life would become if I didn't step in. Everybody worships the goddess, but they don't respect her. They don't want to listen to her smarts. I could always see you were more on the inside than the outside but would anyone else go beyond your looks? Not even your own father would do it. . . Did I do wrong?”
“It's just that I’m so insecure that I have a hard time taking complements. I have to deal with envy without actually understanding it. If someone says something nasty to me, I think it's because of my own character flaws. It doesn't occur to me that they may be jealous. I look in the mirror and wonder what's the fuss? Why would someone be mean to me because of the way I look? And why would somebody want to be with me only because of my outside? I don't see it and because of it, I can't defend myself against it.”
Candida’s tears were flowing. “I'm sorry, Tati. I tried my best.”
Tatiana hugged her. “I didn't mean to make you cry.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Mama.”